The Enduring Man-Child (Registered User) Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 8:41:54 PM CST An attempt to get this story thread going again The Verdandi's passengers, including all those Men-Children, added to the already gathering crowd in the Coffeehouse. The crowd included, by the way, other Man-Child manifestations who had not been part of the voyage of the Verdandi. Things were getting serious. The presence of a number of cute ferrets and Drywall the weasel sent the various Men-Children into rapture as they chased the scampering mustelids hither and thither, yelling "Whee!" and "C'mere, boy!" and other such verbal seductions. "I don't know," said Chip. "It seems to me that we have to do something to get Man-Child back together again. I mean, I don't think even Mrs. Brisby could put up with this many of him!" "Yeah!" Dale said as he and Foxglove sorted through the various Eighties records, tapes, and discs to find the most appropriate music. "But what are we going to do?" asked Yolei, who since the last story thread was now one of Man-Child's best cartoon friends (one can dream, can't one???) "I don't like to be a pessimist," The J.A.M. said, "but it strikes me that there is the distinct possibility that this party, so well-intended, could turn into a disaster." Loki, never having been to the Coffeehouse before, could only gulp. Not only had each and every loyal ferret crewman been captured by a Man-Child, but Drywall the Weasel had been as well, and the many Men-Children who hadn't caught one were pitching hissy fits. On the whole, it seemed as if the Verdandi might have quite a bit of trouble getting a crew together for the next voyage. "There's always the press gang," Loki mumbled to himself reluctantly. But fortunately for all concerned, there was one present who knew exactly what to do. The Bureau Drawer With The Neckties opened, and the wise Palomino (despite not being a Benchley character himself) called out clearly, "Oh look . . . a WOLF SPIDER!!!!!" "YAY! GOODIE!!!" all the Men-Children proclaimed at once, and they dropped their relieved mustelid captives and immediately dove into the open Bureau Drawer which the Palomino had indicated. When all had done so, the Palomino, humming softly, merely closed the Drawer and re-opened it . . . and one Enduring Man-Child climbed out of it, to the great relief of all present. "Hey! No fair!" he said in a most disappointed tone to the Palomino. But Yolei discreetly sighed with relief. Er, at there being no real wolf spider, that is (see "My O Myopia"). -------------------------------------------- Loki Crisis averted! A loud knock at the door to the Coffeehouse drew everyone's attention. Loki, being the most recent arrival, turned and opened the door, and was greeted by a foul-smelling cloud of cigar smoke that caused him to gag. The hugely fat four-armed green being that held the offensive object firmly clamped between his yellowing teeth was also wearing a uniform and carrying a ticket book. He looked around the Coffeehouse with his beady black little eyes and announced, "I'm the dimensional Fire Marshall. I heard this place was crowded beyond its maximum legal capacity, with too many people." Loki, and everyone else within range of the obnoxious cigar, was desperately trying not to be sick, so Chip, being the farthest away from the door, answered up. "Have a look around if you like, but I'm sure you'll find everything in order. Um, this is a non-smoking club," Chip added, with a nervous smile. The fire marshall frowned and extinguished his cigar by the simple expedient of dropping it into a glass of grog that Loki had brought with him from the ship. The mixture of rum and lime juice instantly ignited, prompting Loki into frantic action to extinguish it. The fire marshall glared at him sourly before going to look. "Sheesh! Who's the giant wart with feet?" Loki asked, having gotten the fire out. "The Fire Marshall, apparently," Gadget hissed to him, "though I can't imagine whose imagination he sprung from." "Fire hazard more like," Loki replied sourly. He went to the bar and poured his drink and the remains of the obnoxious cigar down the garbage disposal. A guilty thought occurred to him. "I did have an off-hand thought about a fire marshall shutting the party down because of all the excess Man Children running about." "Aha!" said Chip. "You have to be careful what you think in this dimension. Even the most-off-hand thought has the power to become solid reality." "Ah. Duly noted," Loki replied. The fire marshall returned, carefuly counting using all twenty-four of his fingers to do the math. He arrived at a figure he didn't like. "Well, you got less than half your capacity here, so I guess you're all right for now. But I'll be back later to check on ya." He headed for the door, then stopped and poked Loki in the chest with a lumpy green finger. "Hey sailor, that your boat out there?" "Ship," Loki corrected with pride, "and yes, I am her Captain." "Come with me then. I think I'll just inspect it too while I'm here." With Loki in tow, the fire marshall exited the building, lighting another cigar as he went, much to everyone's relief. "Whew," Dale said, "now that was close." Loki returned about ten minutes later, fuming with anger. "Wotta jerk! Can you believe that officious lump wrote me a ticket for the galley fires?" Gadget tried, unsuccessfully to hide a smile. "I guess your ship isn't built to code," she said. "She is, for 19th century Naval construction," Loki responded glumly. "Well sir, we could file an appeal on those grounds," Lieutenant Burrows said. "What's the fine anyhow?" Loki examined the ticket. "Er, two-hundred and ninety-four bicycle clips." Another ferret, the "Jack-o-the-dust", who was in charge of the ship's dry stores, thought this over and asked, "Have we got two-hundred and ninety-four bicycle clips Captain?" Loki glared at him, then handed him the ticket. "Figure it out." Loki refused to let anything dampen his enthusiasm for the day. "Well men, bear a hand with the decorating! We've not much time left before the guest of honor arrives!" -------------------------------------- CD (Registered User) Last man to re-arrive In teleported CD, who hadn't been heard from since he went of to find EMC with his new ability he wrote up on paper. "Don't tell me I'm still the last arrival." He said when he saw that everyone was already in the Coffeehouse. "Actually yes, you're the last one to arrive." Chip informed him. "Ah well, I can still write someone to be the last. Hey that's right, Clarice isn't in yet. Time to correct that mistake." CD declared and perked up. In but a moment he wrote her into the plot without caring for anyone's disapproval. Now he had the best eyecatcher he could ever wish for. "Hmm, might as well get some drink and coockies for her." CD thought. He teleported himself right into the kitchen and bumped right into Mercy who had been taking care of the lemonade. The can she was holding flew up in the air and spilled all it's contents on CD, Mercy and Flora before dropping on the floor. A few of the people went to check out what happened. "Is there a shower in this place? And a washing machine?" CD asked, covered with the sweet sticky stuff. Mercy perked up when she saw Chip amongst the crowd. "Hi there handsome, how are you?" She asked the Indiana Jones look-alike chipmunk. "You're covered with lemonade." Chip noted, not knowing a better reply to this lady. "Let's just say I'm a sweet girl." Mercy made up. "He isn't from your universe." CD warned his creation. "Bite me." She replied. "My hair, clothes and fur is a mess!" Flora complained and shot a dirty look at CD who was still trying to get the location of the cleaning rooms from the others. ---------- Meanwhile, CD's stereotypical hunter joined the tread again and met up with the strange Fire Marschall. "Woaw! You got four arms! That's weird! You look like a space alien! I hate space aliens! The're not creatively done! They're monsters! Taste lead!" The hunter said and aimed his shotgun. Fortunatly for Fire Marschall bullets never hit in cartoons, but still cause the target to run away in fear. So that's what Fire Marschall did and the hunt was on. ---------- What will...Forget it, this is getting old. Just join us in the next story tread. Good day and I'm covered with lemonade! ------------------------------------------------ The J.A.M. "Uncle, is everyone here that weird?" [...unWARP!!!] Good evening. ******* ...asked The T.A.N., looking oddly at the alien who was shooting. "I'm afraid so," replied The J.A.M. "Just be glad you weren't here during the Ultimate Coffeehouse Brawl." "What happened then?" asked The E.M.M.Y. "I lost my shirt. I hope nothing similar happens here." "But when's the party going to start?" asked The N.I.M.H. "When the Birthday Girl gets here. Speaking of which, I wonder what's taking her so long...." ******* Until next time, remember: I AM THE J.A.M. Good evening. [WARP!!!] ------------------------------------- Aiva (Registered User) Someone else joins With flash, portal opened, and three persons felt out. Two were ordinary mice, if by ordinary mice you conty mice standing on their back feet and wearing clothes, pretty fine clothes in case of female mice. The third one was a human, but at thge moment he was the same size as the wtwo mice. "Hey! Where did you pull me this time?" the human asked inbto annoying voice. "Into a great party!" female mouse announced, looking around. "Atl easyt, i hope so. " "You just pulled me out of one," human objected.\ "No problem. Less alcohol and more fun this way." -------------------------------------- Karl (Registered User) "May I take your order, please?" The brand-new servobot sitting next to the faithful and battle-scarred cappuchino machine, smiled metalically and repeated it's question. Karl exchanged a glance with the cappuchino machine, which was gently burbling as it attempted to suppress a wicked laugh. The servobot, being a newbie, had not one clue that such a simple question might bring about unexpected results. "I'd like two hundred and ninety-seven bicycle clips - and a hot pastrami on rye with melted swiss cheese and sauerkraut. A dill pickle on the side and a glass of Guinness draught" Grinding sounds began arising from within the servobot. Karl watched it quivering there while a small section of the table slid aside to deliver his meal. The food was, as always, perfect. The entertainment was pretty good too, since the servobot managed to generate forty-three bicycle clips before popping a circuit breaker. "He'll get over it. The rest of your clips will be shipped up from the sub-basement in a few minutes." The cappuchino machine slapped the servobot on the back in congratulations for it's effort. Karl saluted it with his beer glass. "Good job!" "Sub-basement?" whispered the servobot. "Yep." "Argh." "Next time, you'll read the Coffeehouse Staff manual instead of trying to make time with that saucy young salad spinner, won't you?" The servobot nodded, looking dazed. "What d'ya want all those bicycle clips for?" the cappuchino machine turned toward Karl. "You going into the business?" "Oh, those are for the guys over there with the ship" Karl pointed, "though with the fire marshal gone they probably won't need them." "Y'can't have too many bicycle clips, I always say." "Too true." --------------------- KS (Registered User) "Oooh!" cooed Drywall... Racing over to Karl's table, the insatiably curious weasel was obsessed to find out where the sandwich had come from. "Must be a passage under there," Drywall concluded, "Did I hear someone mention a sub-basement?" As the weaseal darted about the table trying to find a way inside, KS exerted great efforts to avoid getting Drywall's leash wrapped around anything... like Karl's neck. After awhile, he noticed the leash wasn't moving. Pulling it up to it's far end, he realized Drywall and managed to get loose. While trying to figure out just how he should retrieve his nosey creation, the servobot turned to KS, "May I take your order?" It didn't sound quite as confident as it had before, almost as if it didn't really want to hear the answer. KS considered ordering a beer, but thought better of it. Then, the means of recovering Drywall made itself known. "Yes," he stated to the servobot, "I'd like an empty paper bag with the words 'Bag-O-Mystery' written on it." At least it was only one object. A section of the table slid aside as a paper bag with the words 'Bag-O-Mystery' rose up. The supposedly empty bag quivered as if there were something alive within it, after which Drywall's head popped out. "Gotcha," KS stated as he leashed the critter once more. "There wasn't anything in there you know," Drywall stated blandly, "Why would someone label it a 'Bag-O-Mystery' and not put anything in it?" "You put yourself in it," KS answered. "But I'm not mysterious," the weasel countered. "Do you remember how you got into the table?" Drywall thought for a second, then shook his head quickly. "Well there you go," KS finished as he pulled his creation away. Drywall climbed out of the bag like a group of clowns emerging from a tiny car. Turning back quickly, KS grabbed the bag. "This might come in handy later," he pointed out. No sooner had he picked it up than Drywall stuck his head in, just to see if anything had changed since he was in it last. ----------------------------- Karl (Registered User) And then... The servobot looked around in gleeful anticipation of showing itself off, having done so very well so far on its first day at the job. It spied Chip (Original Series Version) sitting alone at a table, staring at a gold-framed photo with a dreamy look on his face. Certainly, this would be an easy customer to please! "May I take your order?" "Ah... Gadget.." Chip sighed. The servobot would have blanched in terror, if chrome could blanch, but it did what it knew how to do as best it could... There was a brief disturbance at the other side of the room, and moments later the top of Chip's table slid back, revealing the top of Gadget's head as she rose smoothly to stand above an astonished Chip. "We need to talk." Gadget muttered darkly. The cappuchino machine hid the protesting servobot in a cupboard under the bar, and instructed it to stay put until told otherwise. --------------------