Y2K, The Thread--Part 5 ----------------------- Y2K: Anyone got a set of cables? This thread needs a jump start! _________________________________________________ After several repeats of singing "100 bottles of Koo-Koo Cola on the Wall" Julie was just about ready to go insane. "Misty, are you sure you read that map right? I don't see Mobius anywhere." "I think so, did you follow them right?" retorted the redhead. "I had no idea that a squirtle could improve it's watergun attack by drinking five gallons of 7-up before a battle. Is it true that asparagus can improve a pokémon's speed?" asked Chris (RC). "Actually, it's brussel sprouts. I don't think anyone would be cruel enough to make their pokémon choke those down though. Let's get back to your lesson in rock type pokémon..." In the back, Dyglo was continuing to strain against his bonds. He contemplated what he was going to do once he got loose, and decided on singing "The Song That Never Ends". _________________________________________________ Rudolph stared at the horde of Barney clones marching towards him. "H*ck!" he said. Dyglo ------ The suppressed feelings. First time after getting into this trouble, Aivars felt a hope that he will get out of it still into one piece. Then he paled. "You said it had hacked into our server?" he asked into weak voice. "What if he just toss us into next level, and we get separated? Ups!" He shut his mouth off, too late remembering the rule of Murphy: "Never say - it was too easy..." "You and your big mouth," Alex hissed at him. "Hey, i just..." "Not a word from you until we get out, clear?" "Well, i know its not the best time to get introduced, but well, you are just standing here on guard... Who are You and where we will land out?" Lawainee winked at the robotic figure suggestively. "Such a brave looking boy must have some cool place where to take us after all this jam ends, yes?" Lawainee knew, that she had some power overthe males, and she had used it well before, even the rescue Rangers had felt to it. The situation here was quite dangerous, and if they were to choose whom to left behind, she woud like to not go as last. Havint the red trooper on her side would ensure that much easier. Aivars ------ Out of the frying pan... Lawhiney read the message on her screen and laughed out loud. "If only she knew..." the mouse mumbles to herself. "Uh, Lawhiney?" asked Shake'a as he tapped her on the shoulder. "What?" she snapped. "Uh, why don't you just reach in the screen and pull them out?" the surfer suggested. "What the...?!? Shake'a! That is the -stupidest- idea..." she scolded. Shake'a Bake'a interrupted her, "Is it more stupid than some of the stuff we did back in Kat's Lair?" Lawhiney thought for a moment. There was the time she swiped some of the plumbing, the time she put chocolate pudding in the water supply (oddly, Kat seemed to -like- that), raided Chipper's wine cellar, got teleported into an evil wizard's lair, fought Negaduck... She shrugged and replied, "Okay, I'll try it. Help me." Shake'a left his blue marine to its fate and joined Lawhiney in front of her monitor. "Ready?" she asked. Shake'a nodded. They brought their paws up to the screen...and then their paws went -through- the screen. Inside the game... Suddenly, Aivars felt something grab him. He screamed and then disappeared. Back in the Coffeehouse... "Pull!" shouted Lawhiney. "I -am-!" replied her boyfriend. They pulled Aivars through the screen and into the Coffeehouse. He lands on top of them. "Where am I?" asked the Writer, who was about the same size as the mice. "The Coffeehouse, dude." replied Shake'a "Get off of me you two!" snarled Lawhiney. The did so immediately. Kat ------ ::Back at the Sazerac:: ::Indy and E-Man were still contemplating how they were transported off the Magic School Bus II at the last nanosecond before it left Chateau Pax. Then they realized their contemplation quota was over, and snapped out of it:: E-Man: So now Julie et al are out collecting the various chatters. What's our job? Indy: I don't know. Make sure there's enough lemonade to go around when they get here, I guess. Then we'll send them on to the Coffeehouse, unless they find a direct way there. ::Indy trots off to check the lemon supply, while E-Man requests Dancing in the Dark from Vic Fontaine:: Vic: That's sort of a strange one for you, pallie... E-Man: Well, we're all still a bit in the dark on how everyone's going to get to the Coffeehouse and fix this Y2K problem. Vic: Hey, don't worry pallie. It's like Sammy D. used to say--"You can solve any problem except a lady." Of course, he was no great shakes on that himself... ::All across the galaxy, the various forces of evil and folks with bad intentions that had played into the Coffeehouse thread stopped, as they heard an all-encompassing voice:: Voice: Ahem...testing, testing. This is merely a test of the Evil Participants' Network. Had this been an actual EPN alert, you would have been instructed to leave your story threads and converge on the Coffeehouse. This concludes this test of the EPN. Worf: Captain, I thought I picked up a message, but... Picard: But what, Mr. Worf? Worf: Now, it no longer registers on my instruments, Sir. Data: We are also picking up strange activity on the planet's surface, Captain. Picard: On-sreen, Mr. Data. ::Data puts up a detailed computer schematic of Earth:: Data: As you can see from the red indicators, there has been a considerable amount of extradimensional activity on the planet in the past few hours. Picard: Explanation? Data: Not enough information to be certain, but I would deduce that our allies from the Coffeehouse last year are once again at work. Riker: Would they be aware of the solution to the Y2K problem at this time? Data: Unlikely, commander. That information was only obtained after... Picard: Yes, yes, we know Mr. Data. No need to review ancient history. Now, we need to get in contact with someone down there... Indy ------ So den whut happened??? The Enduring Man-Child had retired to the kitchen of the Sazerac and so was unaware of the arrival of the mysterious lass from the Shetlands who apparently had been the only girl to have retained her Magical Female Powers(tm). It was probably a good thing, too. As Man-Child toiled with his molasses and shellac over the plates he felt a presence and looked up. "Neal, what are you doing?" asked the beautiful, gentle voice with that endearing lilt that could never be supressed. "Mrs. Brisby!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" "I'm here to help you and the Rangerphiles," she explained matter-of-factly, "The Malignant Will is threatening all the realities, including mine." "Oh, Mrs. Brisby . . . I'm so sorry," Man-Child said sincerely, "I hope we can fix this problem. We came awful close to losing last year." "But we didn't," she said encouragingly, "we prevailed in the end, and that is what matters. Um, what are you doing anyway?" Man-Child blushed profusely and attempted to block Mrs. Brisby's view with his prodigious person. This failed, however, and she eventually saw and then turned to him and did that eyebrow thing. Man-Child blushed even more. "When are you going to write my name in plates with molasses and then laminate them?" she asked. And this time Man-Child's blush illuminated the environs. "Aw Mrs. Brisby! You won't tell, will you?" "That depends on what I judge is best for you," she said briefly, though still smiling and with a twinkle in her eye. "Man-Chil' hon! When ahe y'all a-gonna come out heah an' . . . " Annie Mae stopped short at the scene. "Why, hi-dy Mizz Brisby! How ahe y'all? An'--oh mah stars!" She sounded kinda like Bunny Rabbot when she said it. "Oops," Man-Child said again, this time illuminating the length and breadth of the kitchen. "Whah, you li'l ol' rascal you!" she said with a friendly blow to his shoulder and that eyebrow thing, "ya'll don' nevah give up, do y'all?" "Annie Mae, please don't tell . . . " "Aw, y'all know yo' ol' Annie Mae better'n that!" she said with a conspiratorial wink, "li'l ol' Annie Mae ain' gonna say a li'l ol' word!" "Thank you so much! Do you think you two could help me dispose of these implicating plates?" "Well hon, you know yo' Annie Mae jes' hanker aftuh sorghum 'lasses! Brang it on!" "NO!!!" Man-Child said with a suddenness and determination that quite discomfited the two ladies, leaving them without a comfit to their names. "Er . . . sorry Annie Mae. But I can't let you efface the name from even a single plate. Besides . . . they're laminated." "Oooooh, Ah see!" she said with a wink that brought on an even brighter blush. Man-Child could have rented himself out as a traffic light. "Well don't y'all worry none, hon! Li'l ol' Mizz Brizz an' li'l ol' me'll get them precious plates o' y'all's all stored up safe 'n sound!" "We will!" Mrs. Brisby assured him with a laugh. Man-Child sighed. "Thank you!" he said. * * * "Mr. Data--you helped deliver one of the young Rangerphiles from captivity in some nondescript deserted warehouse in Knoxville, didn't you?" asked Captain Picard, pondering. You could tell because he was leaning forward in his captain's chair and had his chin in his hand. "Affirmative, sir. I also left a tracking device to lead Julie and the Magic Bus II to her location, and Rachel and her friend Jeremy should be boarded by now," Data added with what in a human would be satisfaction. "And you received your instructions from an entity of some sort? I certainly did not have the information to give the order." "That is what puzzles me, Sir," Data said, his head doing those jerky movements, "whatever entity it was I cannot recall. In fact, I find myself remembering fewer and fewer of the details. It is as though after having performed my task my memory banks are being purged of the entire incident." "Well, what do your logic circuits tell you is the entity responsible?" the Captain asked, hoping to lead his android officer to name the party even if his memories had been lost. "I would say it was either Q, the Golden Bird, or Mrs. Brisby," Data reasoned very logically. "Sir," he suddenly added, "there is one more possibility." "And what would that be, Data?" Picard asked. "It is possible that somewhere some female has retained her Magical Female Powers(tm)," Data explained. "The bat, Foxglove, perhaps?" "Negative, Captain. Bats have no magical powers of any kind," Data explained, "Foxglove retains her hold on her mate solely through the beauty and purity of her chiropteran soul." "I see. Then with all the other females having lost their Powers(tm)," Picard gestured to Number One, who had been completely ignoring Counsellor Troi since this whole affair began, "wouldn't any female who still has them be on the side of our foes, the Forces of Evil?" "That is indeed the more likely possibility," Data admitted, "however, there is a small possibility that some isolated female may simply have been overlooked by the Malignant Will. I suggest we devote some effort to deducing which of the possibilities is the one we are facing before proceeding further." "My sentiments exactly!" Picard said, as with a gesture he ordered the crew on the ship's bridge to scan for the source of any remaining Magical Female Powers(tm). * * * Things were certainly getting exciting! "The Enduring Man-Child" ------ There was a muted popping sound... Like a cork being pulled through a knothole... Karl stretched his rather kinked limbs, and looked around the motorhome. Seeing Julie hunched over the wheel with a bad case of "white line fever" going, he walked to the passenger's seat and sat: "Need a break?" Julie stared blankly ahead. "Julie?" "Huhh!???" She came to with a start. "Oh, it's you. How long will you be with us this time?" "You seem upset." "Do I look like an experienced cross-country driver?" "Well.." "Never mind!" She pulled the Magic Bus II onto the shoulder. "It's your turn. Follow that blinking light thing E-man stuck on the dash." She stumbled to the read of the RV, stopping for a much-needed visit to the "facilities". "Okie-Dokie.." Karl pulled out onto the road, looking forward to various flavors of confusion, panic and freeway flapjacks in the hours to come. Karl ------ Meanwhile. . . [...unWARP!!!] Good evening. ************ The Jaguar looked at the Rabbit for a while, and then he coughed again. "'Oh, dear' what, J.A.M.?" asked Tails. This brought the Feline down to Mobius again. "Ermm, sorry, guys. Bunnie, something appears to have happened to Sally, I think she lost her MFP's." The Jaguar kept eyeing the Rabbit, for some reason. "She lost her toothpaste?" asked Tails. "*Toothpaste*?" asked both the Panther and the Lagomorph. "Sure. MFP, 'Maximum Fluoride Protection'?" "'Magical Female Powers (tm)'," corrected The J.A.M. "(tm)?" "(tm)." "Why (tm)?" "Don't know [COUGH!]. Maybe they're patented somewhere." "That's not good," she said. "Is that why you came here?" "Well, yes, Kat and I came here as soon as we heard. She's with Sally right now to find out what happened exactly." "And why are U here?" she asked. The Panther stammered, "Um. . . well. . . .actually. . . a funny thing happened on my warp to a *cenote*. . . . someone or something [COUGH!]--sorry, a slight cold-diverted me and brought me to the Coffeehouse because someone needed my help. Kat then received the message that Sally had lost her MFP's (tm), and so we both came here. . . .well, *she* came here to check on Sally. . . .but I. . . .I. . . .was worried something had happened to *you*. . . .Bunnie." The Rabbit Maid stood surprised for a moment. "You mean that *I* may have lost my Magical Female Powers?" "Well. . . . .for a moment, I *thought* you did. . . . but looking at you again. . . .I'm not sure." The Lagomorph pondered for a moment, and then she decided to try something. She suddenly turned to Tails, and GAZED at him. And Tails began to float again. "Hmmm. . .I appear to be just fine," she said, suddenly breaking her GAZE and turning back to The J.A.M. Tails made a sudden indignant drop on his posterior. "Ouch." "Well, so much for my hunch," said The J.A.M. "I guess I'm supposed to help Sally somehow, or at least help you guys and Kat help her. But I still wonder where I come in." "Maybe you have something in your warping abilities that can help her," said Tails. "Maybe," he replied, as all three of them walked back to Knothole. "But that still doesn't explain who or what diverted me, and why to the Coffehouse and not to Mobius directly, and why I have this strange feeling that this incident may not be happening just in Mobius. I mean, what could possibly happen that would be of such importance and urgency that someone or something would need to summon little ol' *me* to help fix it?" "J.A.M., you're starting to worry me," said Bunnie. "Sorry. But then again, it's not as if *every* female in this dimension has lost her MFP's (tm), right?" The trio arrived at Sally's hut. Inside, Sonic was playing a video game, and Sally was crying in Kat's arms. . . ************ Until next time, remember: I AM THE J.A.M. Good evening. [WARP!!!] The J.A.M. ------ A call from Chipper A few minutes after the test of the Evil Participants Network, Kat was still comforting Sally. Suddenly Kat's beeper went off. She picked it up and read the message. "Hmmm, does anybody have access to an Interdemensional comm system here?" she asked. Sally sniffed and blew her nose. "Here, use Nicole," she said and handed Kat her multipurpose handheld PC. Kat dialed the number and a few seconds later Chipper the JediChipmunk appeared on the screen. "Hi Chipper. Whats up?" The Jedi responded grimly, "I've felt a great disturbance in the force." "I could have told you that a while back. But its a long story," said Kat. "What did the disturbance feel like?" "It was as if some Malignant Will pushed its way across the cosmos, then blew a loud, squishy raspberry," explained Chipper. "Is there anything I can do to help?" (BTW, where is Kuwani? I started reading this whole Y2K thread about halfway through, so I missed how it started and if she was mentioned or not.) Chipper ------ Getting it together "Yes, there is. Meet us at the Coffeehouse." replied Kat. "Whatever is going on, I have a feeling it's going to come to a head -there-. If Kuwani is with you, bring her." Kat thought a moment, then added, "Check to see if her MFPs (tm) are working." "Huh?" Chipper said, confused. "Her MFPs? Why? Is something wrong?" "Yeah, Princess Sally seems to have lost -hers- somehow." replied Kat. She looked around and saw Bunnie, Tails, and El J.A.M. loitering near the door. Kat raised her eyebrow at J.A.M. "Okay, see you there!" Chipper said before signing off. "So, what's the verdict?" Kat asked. "Bunnie seems to be fine." replied the jaguar. Kat nodded. "Let's go back to the Coffeehouse and see if any of the others know anything." Sonic groaned. "But I just reached the final level!" Sally grabbed him by the ear and led him toward the door. Kat ------ ::E-Man receives a general hail:: ::The blue-and-white clad hero opens his minivid screen:: E-Man: Yes? Picard: This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the United Federation of Planets. E-Man: Oh, hello Captain! How's it going? This is E-Man here. Picard: E-Man? You mean the one who... E-Man: Precisely. Don't rub it in. Picard: Very well. We're trying to determine if members of that group you're associated with known as the Rangerphiles are behind the strange interdimension travel we've been seeing. E-Man: Yep, I'd say so. Julie and a few others are going around collecting Rangerphiles, and several others are likely at the Coffeehouse already. Picard: I see. And you are attempting to solve the Y2k problem? E-Man: Well, that and capture the evildoers who have been stealing all the MFP's (TM). Picard: MFP's? Are you sure? Troi: I think there is basis for what he's saying Captain.... Picard: No one asked you. Troi: See what I mean? No one would have interrupted me before! No male of any species has even glanced at me in days--not even Riker! Picard: This is serious--moreso than I thought. E-Man: Glad you think so. All the Rangerphiles will be at the Coffeehouse soon enough. Why don't you head on over there and see what assistance you can lend? Picard: It will be limited, since we can't alter the timeline. Indy: Oh, hi Picard! Glad you could join the wingding! I loved that performance you gave as Scrooge, though I thought it was a bit forced in places. Picard: What are you talking about? Indy: Nevermind. Indy ------