Rough Draft of "Ms. Hackwrench is the Centerfold"
 To the tune of J. Geils Band's "Centerfold"
 Alternate lyrics by "Rennod" 

 (synth intro)
 Come on!
 (syth & percussion intro) 

 Does it walk? Does it talk?
 Does it function well?
 Our main mouse inventor's
 Got a secret she won't tell. 

 Think she's pure like snowflakes?
 You know, of course, she is,
 But she did one indulgence
 For the magazine photo biz. 

 Mail comes by, I'm lookin' through my per-iod-icals,
 When what to my surprise, these photos sure will cause a buzz. 

 What do you know?
 My first thought was a great big whoa!
 Ms. Hackwrench is the centerfold.
 (Popular Mechanics centerfold)
 She's never told,
 These photos really were quite bold.
 (guitar segue)
 (Scientific American centerfold)

 Workin' 'neath the hood of a mouse-sized 'Vette,
 Or mixing chemicals you shouldn't mix yet,
 She was shy, she turned away
 Before the camera's eye. 

 I took in her lack of shoes,
 Sand-blonde hair and baby-blues
 If seein' weren't believin'
 I'd be callin' me a liar. 

 How did they convince her?
 They must have paid her much.
 Either cash or sprockets,
 Or a patent thing or such. 

 She never told,
 Those chipmunks need a shower cold.
 Ms. Hackwrench is the centerfold
 (OMNI Magazine centerfold)
 Her heart is gold,
 That Julie Bihn is sure to scold!
 (guitar segue)
 (Car & Driver Centerfold) 

 Na-na-nana-na-na, Na-na-nana-nanana-na-na
 Na
 Na-na-nana-na-na, Na-na-nana-nanana-na-na
 Na
 Na-na-nana-na-na, Na-na-nana-nanana-na-na
 Na
 Na-na-nana-na-na, Na-na-nana-nanana-na-na 

 Now listen, 

 I'm tryin' to understand;
 This must be some shrewd marketing plan.
 But don't you think she's too far gone,
 Of course her overalls were on! 

 Mechanics and engineers,
 Nerds and men of science,
 All were given a neat treat
 In the magazines they're buyin'. 

 Don't even think of askin' when,
 She'll prob'ly never pose again.
 Nobody sees these pics, I bet,
 Unless someone uploads 'em to the net! 

 I'll ne-ver throw
 These issues in the trash, you know.
 Ms. Hackwrench is the centerfold
 (Popular Science centerfold)
 How many sold?
 A fortune, man, in cash hard cold.
 (guitar segue)
 Ms Hackwrench is the centerfold! 

 Na-na-nana-na-na, Na-na-nana-nanana-nana-naaaa…. 

 All right, all right!
 1, 2, 3, 4! 

 Na-na-nana-na-na, Na-na-nana-nanana-na-na
 Na
 Na-na-nana-na-na, Na-na-nana-nanana-na-na
 Na
 Na-na-nana-na-na, Na-na-nana-nanana-na-na
 Na
 Na-na-nana-na-na, Na-na-nana-nanana-na-na 

 I'll ne-ver throw
 These issues in the trash, you know.
 Ms. Hackwrench is the Centerfold
 (Ms. Hackwrench is the Centerfold)
 She's never told,
 That Julie Bihn is sure to scold!
 (guitar segue)
 (Ms. Hackwrench is the Centerfold) 

 (fades to whistling of melody) 

 (end) 

   -- Rennod