Back From the Beach and a new song parody (ignore that last bit or "Dagum it, Tammy, I DID IT AGAIN...") Monday, 14-Aug-2000 00:15:24 Well, I'm back from another trip to myrtle beach. Dagum, how many times do I go there?! Anyway, this trip was, as my dad said, on of the better ones. I actually got some sun this time, and it was two :snap:: two ::snap:: two trips in one! But more on that later. Firstly, on Monday, I went to Barefoot Landing and just this year they installed a real live Ghirardelli Chocolate Shop! (Tasha, you might know of this, since you went to San Fran...:) ) anyway, I could NOT pass up the most terrific chocolate in the world, and got an Alcatraz Rock. That's TWO scoops of Rocky Road Icecream, and one scoop of premium vanilla in a hard chocolate candy shell, with hot fudge, whipped cream and a whole Marshino (sic?!) cherry. needless to say, it was one of the many highlights of my pilgrimage to the sea. on Tuesday, I went to the ORIGINAL Nascar Cafe. I ordered the Chicken Collision and for finishing it faster than my parents, I got a trophy...a bottle shaped like a fueling tank. Not only that, but I got to ride the Nascar simulator not once...BUT TWICE!! Basically what that is is it puts you in the driver's seat of several Nascar legends at tracks like Talladega, Watkins Glen and Darlington. When they shift, you feel it. when they brake, you feel it...and when they CRASH...WOAH MOMMA< YOU FEEL IT!!!. after two gut-wrenching treks through virtuality, I went to Broadway at the Beach (I have pictures of me there, that's where Hard Rock Cafe and Planet Hollywood are) and got caught in a thunderstorm. needless to say, I was mildly scared. the next day, we went to the Carolina Opry. now as you may or may not know, I dislike country. it gives me a tinge of a headache, to quote David Spade on SNL. However, this was NOT ALL COUNTRY. it was rock, pop songs, humour (though some of it was strangely adult...) 50s 60s 70s (yes, the Village People...) 80s and 90s. that was very intresting. It is and remains to be one of the best of ANY Calvin Gillmore production and if you ever have the privilage of going there, DO IT BY ALL MEANS!. Next day, we went to Wilmington, the two-fer I mentioned earlier. Now I may have not mentioned this, but in RRX, Tammy was born in Wilmington, and she and the Sorenthia Family (before Bink) lived in one of the trees in the parking lot of the Battleship North Carolina Memorial Site. So, I got pictures of it. THAT was cool. guns and everything. The guadalcanal. Iwo Jima. Tokyo. WE WERE THERE FOR TWO HOURS. After that, we headed back to MB and in the arcade (the same one shown in one of my old photos) they had installed a pool table. I don't ever play pool but I happened to pick that night to do so. upon doing so, I happened to finish off the game (doubles as it was, I was solids) and made a cut with the eight ball, something I could never do, and did it the impossible way, from the side. Truely, I believe that cut not to have been by my own hands. On Friday, I got to pick where we ate, and remembering how I hooked Seth (Claw Atticas) on Sushi, we went to Nakoto Japanese Steak House on Kings Highway. There, they had a FLOATING Sushi and Tempura Bar. I had never seen one like that before. I used my famous Timex Expedition and timed the floating of the boat trays for how long it took them to go all the way around the Sushi and Tempura Bar. EXACTLY three minutes. That's what I call a lazy river. It made Garfield look like a Weight Watchers Lifetime Member. Anyway, back to the bar. I got three specialties while my parents had Teppanyaki style dining. I had Sushi to start off with (salmon, tuna, green muscel, yellowfin and tiger shrimp), a kushiyaki sampler for the main course ( Japanese skewers with onion, veggies, chicken beef and shrimp in a rich sauce) and finish with (get out your barf bags, unadventurous eaters!) Calamari Tempura, or as Dale so quaintly put it in Gadget Goes Hawaiian..."A SQUID McNUGGET!" That's right, deep fried squid with a soy-ginger sauce. Actually that was the best thing I had. Chewy, flavourful, downright sinful in decidance, almost like a dessert. The next day, our last ful day at the beach, I went up to the McDonalds up on King's Highway, a mile both ways, and purchased breakfast along with The Groove CD, the one currently advertised on tv. Then, on the way back, I came up with a song, based on what I had heard from the first track, "Where My Girls At" by 702, a rather popular song which can be seen on MTV. So, I thought I would do a parody of it for you all as I sign off tonight. I'll show you all pictures as more stories develop. Ha. Pictures, develop. Nevermind, here's the song. Where My Squirrel's At Sung to the tune of "Where My Girls At" By 702 Parody by Eddie Baird wescottrrx@att.net Copyright MM UltraBox Industries [Slow fade in and camera move out and down from the ceiling of The Hangge-Uppe club in North Chicago. The camera zooms in on our two favourite lovebirds, Wescott and Tammy as they dance carelessly, swinging and jiving to the latest songs as the DJ spins the tracks. Suddenly, from out of the crowd, who should appear but Laura Katera. Laura boldly approaches Wescott and attempts to rend the two squirrels asunder. Tammy, seeing this, pushes Laura away.] Tammy: Get away from him! Laura: He’s mine now! [The two girls each grab one of his arms, yanking on both ends.] Wescott: AAAAAAAHHH!!! THIS HURTS!!! Tammy/Laura: Shut up, Wescott!! Wescott: Oh, no…Not again…Not here… [Finally, the two girls let go of Wescott, he lets out a sigh. Tammy and Laura size each other up and begin to tango in a circle, staring each other down as the music starts up. Lights flash and circle in the same motion as the crowd moves in to watch. Suddenly, Tammy begins singing.] Tammy: Girl, this here is my boy, So you just step back, 'Cause I'm ready to attack, And your head I'll have to crack… [Sudden cut to a shot of the crowd gasping.] Tammy: How do you think that you can take My man without a fight? Try to come and test my might, And make me put out all your lights? {Chorus:} Where my squirrel's at? Here by my side Well, would you look at that You gonna run and hide Well you can take that Take you for a ride Get outta here, rat Or you'll be kickin' yourself… Where my squirrel's at? Here by my side Well, would you look at that You gonna run and hide Well you can take that Take you for a ride Get outta here, rat… [Laura tries to grab hold of Wescott. Tammy roughly grips her by the tail. She shakes her index finger in Laura’s face.] Tammy: Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh Don’t you flirt with my guy Don’t even ask why… Or else I’ll make you fall down and cry… [Sudden cut to a shot of the crowd gasping again.] Tammy: Send you down to the floor, Kick your butt out the door, And if you want, you can come back for more… {Chorus} Tammy: I can see in your mind You’re wasting my time Don’t make me get medieval on you… Just get out of town, Never come around, And you won’t get a beat-down, too… {Chorus repeated to fade out} [Sudden cut to a shot of the door to the club bursting open. Laura runs screaming from the club, with Tammy right behind her.] Laura: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!! SHE’S CRAZY!!! Tammy: That’s right, hussy! Run home! Run home to mama! [Wescott follows her to the door.] Wescott: I’m glad you’re on my side, Tammy. I’d hate to make YOU angry… Tammy: I’m glad you feel that way, Peanut. Let’s go get a taco… Wescott: Now you’re speaking my language, babe. Let’s go. [Exeunt Tammy and Wescott. The crowd looks at them. Two onlookers, a male mephit and a vixen speak.] Mephit: What a weird couple… Vixen: Yeah, but how romantic… [Fade out.] THE END. Thanks you all for listening! See ya later! -Forever your squirrel Eddie Baird ------