8-Bit Star (Registered User) Lupin's Great Heist! "So all we need is lots and lots of water." Lupin confirmed. "Okay, I'm still not sure I understand it." Lupin and Jigen watched while the others loaded lots of bottled water into the Galaxy Car. "For the last time, according to Pennywinkel, using magic takes up their body liquids, making them dry up after awhile. We're going to need them to keep going, thus we need supply them with their fuel. But the flip side is that water is ALL we need. Their magic can handle the rest." "But how do you know they're really magicians? Don't you remember Paikaru?" "There's one way to find out." Lupin walked up to Pennywinkel, and asked "Now, you say you can blow up that concrete." "mmmhmmm." "Mind giving us a demonstration? Not that we don't believe you or anything..." Pennywinkel just shrugged, turned around, and after a moment of concentration, a huge chunk of the concrete pavement exploded into little shreds, revealing the grey metal of the Script Vault. Thus the heist of the century began. -------------------------- At the Coffeehouse, an alarm was sounding. "STOP! ALL DISNEY PERSONEL, WE HAVE A SITUATION AT THE STUDIO! ALL DISNEY PERSONEL, PLEASE RETURN TO WALT DISNEY STUDIOS!" -------------------------- The Great Galaxy Car flew down to the silverish substance previosly hidden under the concrete, and Goemon, Jigen, and Fujiko jumped out. Frog, using magic, molded parts of the vault into hooks that the three attached strong rope to. "All set!" Fujiko called. With that, Lupin started the Great Galaxy Car anew as his three companions forced themselves to hold on and stay perfectly still. "Your cue," Lupin called. Pennywinkel immediately activated one of her magical powers, one to decrease the weight of objects. Using it she made the weight of the vault and it's contents the weight of a mere feather, and struggled to hold on. And out of the ground the silver behemoth came, and it was lifted off and carried into the sun. But they were not out of the woods yet... ---------------------------------------------------------------- Karl (Registered User) The battle continues: It looked like an even match between Borg and Lawyer, until one elite Prosecuting Commando tossed an ominous looking red disk. "Duck and cover!" he screamed. The disk began unwinding endless loops of sticky, unbreakable tape against which the Borg's efforts were.. well... futile. It had to be said. Another lawyer looked on in terror. "You used RED TAPE! That breaks several litigateous modes of proper courtroom warfare, and is frowned upon by Judge Judy!" "We aren't IN a courtroom, my fine fellow purveyer of jurisprudence." The embattled Borg were bundled and bound, barely able to breath. Somewhere, a hive of "B's" wondered at this, but wisely made no comment. "How are you going to untie them?" Wondered Dale. "Sorry. That has to remain a secret" The ProComm said, deadpan. "However, now that we're through here, how do we get back?" Dale pointed to the still-open portal, and the entire group of Borg and Legal Eagles either walked or were dragged through. Then Dale suddenly burst out in giggles. Gadget looked concerned, "Uhm, Dale? What's so funny?" Rolling on the floor, Dale shakily pointed to the washing machine. "Changed... setting..." he managed to say. Gadget walked to the washing machine, then turned suddenly, looked at the portal. "Oh, my... Golly!" It is a little-known fact that one simply does NOT want one's Nimnul Reactor based transdimensional portal set to Spin-Dry. Death and Hades looked out upon the world of the living, and shuddered in horror. "If any of those guys make it here, I'm gonna have to ask 'em if they enjoyed the ride, quipped Hades. ---------------------------------------------------------- 8-Bit Star (Registered User) *Please post headers here* And suddenly, everything, everyone, froze. Except for the Rangerphiles. At this, all were shocked, scratching their heads, wondering what was happening. All the Gadget clones, borgs, lawyers, thieves, dead people, and fanfiction original characters suddenly froze, as if advancement of time had ceased to be. "What happened?" Man-Child wondered. "Good question." I answered. "Hmmm...." Indy hmmmed. If there was a clock, it would be ticking. "They're frozen," Rennod stated after awhile. "Yep." I said. "I wonder why?" Suddenly, Joji answered "IT's because this thread is so full of consistency errors! I mean, Mademanna's off with DiMM, right? And she's got the whole speaking-wierd thing going on to, right? But in another post, she's with Lupin and them and talking normally!" "Ummm... I can fix that!" I said defensively. "It's not just you! Notice how in the last thread, all Disney personel were recalled due to the heist, yet somehow more recent posts seem to overlook that? Or how no one but you remembers Chip getting beat up by DiMM? Or how no one can decide WHERE THE HECK WE ARE? I mean, I thought we were in the Coffeehouse, then Hades, then the Coffeehouse again, but suddenly and inexplicably we're back in Hades... and then there's how you suddenly disappeared from that car that you can't settle on a name for and ended up with these guys. THIS THREAD IS CONTRADICTING ITSELF LEFT AND RIGHT!!!" "So THAT'S why it froze up!" Indy realized aloud. "The question is, what can we do?..." Indeed, what? Quick guys! Find a way to solve this new mess! SAVE OUR SITUATION!!! ---------------------------------------------------- Ronnie Rabbit (Registered User) Actually, 8-bit, you appear to be having a small problem! (non-story post) I saw all the messages arrive in something fairly close to chronological order on my system, so the plot comes as close to making sense as a Coffeehouse thread is going to. For example, your post recalling all the Disney personnel has only JUST appeared for me, after all the other posts had already been up for several hours. There was a flow to the elimination of the threats in the Cafe, and from one place to another, that made sense and seemed in 'order'. Other people must be getting them in this 'order' too, since it's too coherent otherwise. Is anyone else noticeably getting messages 'out of order', like 8-bit? ----------------------------------------------- 8-Bit Star (Registered User) Huh? Who said anything about order? My problem is that I posted "Lupin's Great Heist" under the Original post in the thread so the story wouldn't go off Forever to the Right(TM), yet no one seems to have noticed and they're still posting at the longer string, and it's STILL going off Forever to the Right(TM). And yes, I checked-- Chip Chap's follow-up to your "Non-Violence" post was posted AFTER my "Lupin's Great Heist" post. ---------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------- Chip Chap (Registered User) Return of the Stringless Thread Suddenly, all the frozen Rangerphiles, Rangers, villains, authors and lawyers unfroze and looked around. "What's going on?" Winston asked. As if in response, a voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time began speaking to everyone. "All right folks, we've got a whopper of a thread going on here. It seems that everyone is at the Acorn Cafe and have just survived an attack by an army of Gadget clones." Again a similar voice spoke out but it seemed slightly different. "That's right Ree, Evidently one of the four main villains here named Widgo Fett created that giant army to pillage the Acorn Cafe, but they were defeated when somebody convinced them to convert a clothes drier into a portal into Silicon Heaven. Apparently, they just couldn't resist the idea of spending eternity in a dimension that contains every broken device in existence." "You got that right, Cap." the first voice said. "Widgo Fett is just standing around fuming now. But she's not the only one upset, the headless Eisner Borg has just been wrapped up in red tape by a posse of lawyers who Dale just sent off somewhere in that weird drier thing. This place sure is loaded... get it... loaded, like a load of clothes in..." "I got it Ree, and so did ANGST. The thread's evil entity has just climbed out of a blazing sulfurous lake and is making it's way back into the story." "That sure could cause a lot of trouble. But let's not forget the final member of the Freaky Four, the one and only Eisner Brain who had sent his bionic body to an uncertain fate with those lawyers of his." "Man, that lethal lump of lobes sure has his share of dirty tricks. Lets just hope that 8-bit and his friends succeed in their mission to break into the vault and get the copyrights to all the Disney movies, thereby freeing the worlds from Eisner's control." "Well Cap, I think that covers the basics, of course you never can tell with these Stringless Coffeehouse Threads. You never can tell where they can go or what they'll do." "You can say that again Ree! Of course, you could also say that they have no strings to hold them down, couldn't you?" "Of course, well that's all for now folks. Ree and Cap signing off." At that, the universe returned to as close to normal as anyone could expect it to and everyone resumed their work. ---------------------------------------------------------- Loki (Registered User) (sings) "I've got no strings to hold me down . . ." Sorry. (Duty days severely cut into Loki's ability to keep up with the story) Widgo Fett stamped her foot in irritation. "Those stupid clones better have a money-back guarantee!" "But why do you want to destroy the Acorn Cafe anyhow?" asked Dana, who wasn't doing anything else at the moment. "Who cares why?" Widgo shouted. "I'm a villain! It's my schtick!" "That's no reason!" said the brain of Michael Eisner. "I want to destroy the Acorn Cafe too, but I'm no villain! I'm a successful businessman! These nostalgia fans cut into my bottom line!" "You're a floating pink lumpy blob with delusions of adequacy," Widgo Fett retorted cooly. Michael Eisner's brain recoiled in shock. "What? How dare you address one of the world's richest men in such terms, you snotty, good-for-nothing, half-baked, indecisive, fan-fic character with a bad case of Star Wars fandom!" "Half baked?!! I'll show you half-baked!!!" Widgo Fett whipped out her blaster and zapped Michael Eisner's brain medium rare. "You can't do that to me, I'm rich! Lawyers, quickly, I want some legal action against this fuzzy armored menace!" "Well, technically speaking sir," said one of the legal eagles, "Widgo Fett is based on Boba/Jango Fett, who is George Lucas' property, and Widget, who is an original fan-fic character. Not much we can do about that." "YOU'RE FIRED!" "And you're fried," Widgo reminded the brain, smiling with self-satisfaction. "If you ask me, the best parts of you got wrapped up in red tape and carted out of here three posts ago." "Why you insufferable little . . . PIPSQUEAK!" "Shall I get the hose sir?" one of the servo-bots asked Chip. "Would it do any good?" Chip asked. "If these two keep at it, the Coffeehouse will get wrecked again. Our construction bills are getting pretty obnoxious." "Just a moment," called Loki from behind the bar, where he appeared to be tinkering with something. "Do you know what you're doing?" Gadget asked. She was naturally distrustful of anyone's attempts to modify her equipment. "99 and 44/100th percent of the time," Loki said. He gave a final twist on a wrench, and opened a beer tap. "Okay, now give 'em the hose." Gadget wandered over and inspected his work. "You're nuts!" "And I'll tell you something else," Michael Eisner's brain was shouting at the futuristically armored mouse, "If it weren't for my financial backing of the creative lackeys, er, geniuses at Disney, you would never have come to be at all!" "How like a megalomaniacal disembodied central nervous system to take credit for other peoples' work!" Widgo raised her blaster again. "I've a good mind to--" Suddenly both bad guys were struck by a high-pressure stream of malted hops and barley, which flung them across the room and into the nearest wall. Chip and Dale, who were weilding the hose, kept the pressure on until they were both thouroughly soaked. "Rescue Rangers Away!" "But how do you know this will work on a disembodied brain?" Gadget wanted to know. "He can't even drink, he has no mouth!" "Any alcoholic can tell you that alcohol goes straight to your head," Loki assured her. "I think they've had enough." Chip and Dale shut off the hose, and Widgo Fett and Michael Eisner's brain slumped to the floor. Indy regarded the spreading puddle of beer around them and remarked, "Alcohol abuse." Widgo Fett removed her helmet and cast it aside. "hic I just wanted everyone to like me more than that little miss goody-two-shoes Gadget," she remarked, to no one in particular. "I don't wear shoes," Gadget remarked, puzzled. "Try venture capitalism," Michael Eisner's brain slurred. "All I wanted to do was get rich so everyone would like me, and now they don't. It isn't fair I tell you." "Life is unfair!" Widget shouted for no particular reason. "Especially if you're a fan-fic character whose every move is left up to the whims of a bunch of weirdos." "Hey!" said one of the authors. "If you think writers are bad," Eisner's brain commiserated, "You should try stockholders. How do you balance the bottom line against the product?" "I just want everyone to like me," said Widgo Fett, bursting into tears. "Me too," said Michael Eisner's brain, and joined her in a good cry. "They're sloshed!" SomeGhol observed. "Hammered, polluted and smashed," Karl added. "When you see as many drunks as I do on liberty, you notice a few things." Loki turned off the beer tap. "They'll be like that long enough for us to resolve the story line, then they'll go to sleep for a while and wake up with terrible hangovers." "Your'e an alcoholic," Gadget said, in a sudden flash of revelation. "I mean . .sorry." "Reformed alcoholic," said Loki, with no trace of pride or regret. ====== Meanwhile, ANGST crawled into the bureau drawer. It passed through a colorful dimension full of vivid sounds, melodic shapes and bright smells. It emerged from a similar drawer into a grassy plain, and looked around. "What place is this . . ." ANGST mused, looking around. It was far to colorful for its tastes. "Hi" said a voice behind it. ANGST whirled around and was confronted with what looked like a group of teddy bears of varying hues, with various designs on their fuzzy tummies. "What are you?" "We're the Care Bears!" "NO-O-O-O-O-O-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!!!!!" Screamed ANGST. ------------------------------------------------------ MegaDale (Registered User) Observations from a quiet rangerphile MegaDale sat in one corner of the Cafe observing the scene that was laying itself out before him. "Hmm let's see,one disembodied Eisner brain with delusions of conquest." "A whole army of Gadget clones doing who knows what." "Loki creating machines that probably would have bomb squads running in fear." "And a bureu drawer that transports anyone anywhere at anytime,hmm I'm gonna have to get me one of those,I swear if I had a diary I could fill up an entire book with just one entry about this place." It was at this point Chip noticing MegaDale sitting there all by his lonesome quietly watching the spectacle with the hose of brew that he decided maybe he could help out. "Say MegaDale, you think you can help us here with these guys I don't think they'll put up a fight now that they're three sheets to the wind" "I always liked his nickname" Dale observed as he was helping put the hose away "Uh yeah sure Chip, say when did the cafe have a beer tap?" "Well we do get some thirsty rangerphiles in here who aren't gonna want to drink anything else, why do you want a drink?" "Actually no I don't drink I'm happy just sucking down Safeway brand sodas" "Dale's into that new Pesi blue himself" "That stuff looks like window cleaner to me" Finally after reaching the front door MegaDale tossed out the sloshed and thoroughly soaked villains out and closed and locked the door to the coffee house. "Well that was fun but uh say listen does that bureu drawer transport anyone to anyplace?" "You'd be surprised" "Hmm,say would it be alright if I used it to go somewhere?" "Why, where do you want to go?" "Actually it's not so much "where" as it is when." "Uh, why do you want to go through time that's a dangerous thing to be messing around with" "Well you see there's these two girls in the 22nd century and well- It was at this point Dale had come over with Loki with a couple of mops to cleanup the brew on the floor when he over heard what was being said. "THE DIRTY PAIR!" YOU WANT TO GO SEE THEM!? Man your crazy, I know all about those two and they're nothing but trouble I mean they could destroy Dragon planet much less the coffeefouse here in nothing flat if you ended up having them show up, naw you'd be better off staying away from those two." "Aww but Dale Kei and Yuri were always hot little numbers." "Yeah and you you want to go and play with fire,well it's your funeral pal." Chip not being familiar with what was being said about the subject in question decided to ask Dale about it. "Dale,what are you talking about who are "The Dirty pair"? "At this Dale just whips out a copy of one of his comics from behind himself and hands it over to Chip. " Dirty pairII:Dangerous Acquaintances"? "And I got more where that came from." "I'll bet you do" By this time MegaDale had crawled inside the drawer and proceeded to travel to his favorite place. "Well Chip say goodbye to that Rangerphile because he probably won't be coming back." "You think he'll get lost in the Drawer or something?" "Naw the Drawer'll get him to where he wants to go but he probably won't be alive to return back here." Gadget by this time had been listening to the boy's discussion and become somewhat alarmed at what she heard. "Golly! he shouldn't go off on his own in such a dangerous diminsion, we should go save him!" "Yeah but who'll save us though?" Chip had begun to regret not trying to stop MagaDale from getting into the drawer to begin with but since the deed has already been done he had only one question on his mind. "Well gang, who wants to go save a rangerphile?" --------------------------------------------------------- 8-Bit Star (Registered User) Oh I dunno... ... The Dirty Pair couldn't be half as destructive as Arale, or Lina Inverse. "Okay guys," I asked, "WHERE THE HECK AM I?!?!?!" "Huh?" All others asked. "One minute I'm with Lupin and we're about to do something illegal, next thing I'm here, doing NOTHING, and then I'm there again! Now I'm here! WHERE THE HECK AM I?!?!?!?! And furthermore, DO I ACTUALLY HAVE A PURPOSE BEING IN THIS STORY?!?!?!" "Calm down, man," said [insert Rangerphile here]. "Oh come on guys! I'm powerful, but I've just realized that all I've done in this story is get a major subplot rolling and then proceeded to be tossed around like Bastion from The NeverEnding Story! My being here is totally pointless! I'VE GOT FANTASTIC ABILITIES THAT I'LL NEVER USE!!!" "Ya know," Chip whispered to Dale, "not to sound uncaring, but it's almost typical that we're in a situation and he gets involved in an ego rant." [I would continue the part about the heist, but I'm not feeling good enough right now] ------------------------------------------------------------- Karl (Registered User) Tea and sympathy for the evildoers: "Tha' washn't ver nice athem." Complained Widgo. "At leash you've go' a skull to proshect yer brain." "Oh" she looked at the battered cerebellum, "I'm sho shorry!!" Widgo wrapped her armored arms around the greyish-pink lump and began crying. Karl walked casually toward them. Widgo whipped one arm toward him in a threatening manner and in a dramatically drunken flourish demanded "Don'sh you dare toush my drin'ing buddy here!" He sat on the ground. "I brought a pitcher of water and a bottle of aspirin." "Whash at fer?" "Alcohol dries you out, water helps a little. The sooner you drink the water, the less hangover you'll have. The aspirin was just an afterthought." "Why d'you care?" "I don't think either of you are really evil. Selfish, uncaring, but not evil." She was just drunk enough to take that without blasting anyone. "Yesh! I'm a terr'bul, evil, hea'hunting, bountymouse! Nobody likesh me 'cause I killed 'em all anyway! Whaddoo I ge' fer it? Ha! Nothin' but this armor and my ship." He poured two glasses, drank from one and handed her the other, she sniffed it suspiciously (old habit) then downed it in one long swallow. "guesh I wuz thirsty." "How would you like to help defend the Acorn Cafe?" "What'd you ask me?" "How would you like to join us, defending this place?" "What's it pay?" She seemed suddenly more alert at the thought of employment. "So you'd consider it?" "If you can pay for it." "We'll have to discuss this with your writer." Widgo's eyes went round "You know a writer? My writer?" "One of those friend-of-a-friend things." "He pulled a small notepad from his pocket and wrote: "The disembodied brain of Eisner recovered from the blaster injuries and hangover, and awoke feeling refreshed and at peace with the world, in Widgo's arms." The brain did just that. Widgo put her glass down, and stared at it. "I'd like another of those, I think." ----------------------------------------------------------- MegaDale (Registered User) A bit of reluctance Chip was sizing up his options about how to proceed on this sudden turn of events so he turned to the one person who had any knowledge in this matter. "So Dale, where is it that MegaDale went to anyway?" "Hard to say really, he could of ended up in any number of locations in either one timeline,alternate dimention, or who knows what!" "Really? why?" "Well,due to the fact that there was so many variations of their universe from the comics themselves to the cartoon movies of theirs." "Well I don't know if we should do anything if theres an untold amount of danger involved,it sounds like he knew what he was getting into when he left." Gadget at this point was getting a bit upset not to mention worried for a fellow fan and would do whatever it took to bring him back safely at which point would probably either chew his ear out verbally which is something she rarely did to anyone or give him a good bonk on the head first THEN chew him out for putting himself in harms way unnessasarily. "Golly we shouldn't just leave him to face whatever danger Dale said these girls are capable of creating, we should go in there and get him out,we couldn't call ourselves Rescue rangers after all if we left him in an obviously dangerous situation alone." Chip was still trying to decide how to proceed on this one and from what Dale had been informing him in on about the world of "The Dirty pair" he was seriously having his doubts on even venturing out in it even with a Rangerphile gone in there but in the end he decided Gadget's argument made sense "Your right Gadget, ok Gang we decided we're going in there to get MegaDale out but once we get back I'm going to have a loooong talk with him on his choice of vacation spots." It was at this point the bureu drawer opened up and out stepped the fellow rangerphile in question and was appearantly helping someone else out of the drawer. When the Rangers saw who had stepped out of the drawer they could only find one thing to say which they all did in unison, "MEGADALE!" "Hmm, oh hey guys, uh hold on a sec ok?" he turned back to whoever it was he was helping out of the drawer and first stepped out a red headed female in what looked like a silver bathing suit and another female in an identical outfit who was a long haired brunette. "Welcome to Ranger coffeehouse, a place where you can kickup your feet and read, write, and relax or share in a misadventure or two" the Brunette known as Yuri was obviously confused as to the method as to how they arrived in their new location. "Kei, when this guy came up to us asked if we needed a vacation and you told him "Anyplace that doesn't have paperwork to deal with" I naturally presumed you would ask him where this place he had in mind was, and why did we climb out of a drawer to get here?" "Relax Yuri this place doesn't seem so bad, besides I believe I may have even heard of this place at some point but I thought it was just an old wives tale or something,I mean come on, a place that has crimefighting rodents for hosts?" "Well we have dealt with weirder stuff I suppose." The Rangers and anyone else who had been observing this had become somewhat slackjawed at the sight of the two newest guest to the coffehouse and it was Chip who finally found his voice again once he realised noone had said anything for more than a minute. "MegaDale don't tell me you actually brought them here?" "Okay, I won't tell you" at which point he returned his attention back to his guests. "Well ladies why don't you have a seat over here and I'll get you some refreshments" "Cool, you got any beer here?" "Sure if there's any left from that little tactic of Loki's involving the Eisner brain Widgo Fett and a high powered hose" The girls just looked at each with a somewhat confused look on their faces and turned back to MegaDale. "Huh" "Uh nevermind I'll see what I can find." After MegaDale finished seating his guests Gadget, Dale and Chip followed him to the barsection of the coffeehouse in an obviously bitter mood and Dale was no short on words with his fear and anger of one of the Rangerphiles bringing in two obviously dangerous people. "How-how could you bring in two of world's-no UNIVERSE'S biggest threat to our cafe MegaDale? You know what those two are capable of." "Don't worry Dale they don't do everything with their guns and other dangerous technology, just be glad they left the Lovely Angel behind, trust me,you have my word they'll be no ploblem." "Oh great,now HE'S saying it, we're doomed!" Chip had wanted to give MD a piece of his mind as well as he watched him going back to the table of his guests with their drinks but decided he he wasn't gonna push it but now he had a new problem to deal with, with the speculated threat of two gun toting 22nd century fictional characters in their establishment he had to wonder if their wasn't some truth to Dale's gloomy prediction. "Well, maybe we will luck out and they won't do anything that'll put us in any danger." Dale quickly spoke up in disagreement "Oh I beg to differ Chip, while those two are here we're in as much trouble as having a hundred nuclear warheads going off right under our feet!" this statement made Chip's blood drain from his body and end up in his feet. Gadget thought about it and wanted to make sure Dale wasn't exaggerating the truth a bit. "Dale, are you sure those girls are that dangerous?" "Ok,ok maybe not a hundred nuclear warheads,more like uh,fifty." "Oh that's real reasurring." Chip had decided there was nothing much he could do about the new guests for now so he redirected the Rangers attention back to the Eisner brain problem. "Okay guys being as how those two girls are MegaDale's responsibility we'll just leave them to him for now while we still deal with the other problems that came here before this namely the Eisner brain and Widgo Fett and make sure Loki doesn't try to make another invention that could be as dangerous as having our newest guests here." And with that the Rangers went to the window to check and see if the two villians were still out there and noticing them talking to each other and hearing evil laughter coming from the both of them. Chip turned back to his freinds, "Well guys,it looks like those two might still be a problem." ----------------------------------------------------------------- MegaDale (Registered User) A last minute observation As Chip had turned to his friends and asked them what they thought they should do about the two villians in question Dale had noticed Karl out there with them. "Hey Chip look out there,isn't that Karl?" Chip looked out again and saw that it was in fact who Dale observed "What's he doing out there?" "Well let's go find out then." this coming from Gadget who felt she wanted to keep as many evil doers away from her fans as possible. When they got outside Karl was talking to them and noticed the Rangers standing there "Oh hi guys it looks like we may have solved our problems but I have to talk to thier writers first though "What do you mean you might have the problem solved, you mean they're leaving?" "Well if I can talk to their writers they may help us defend the cafe." Gadget being the ever positive thinker was suddenly smiling at this statement. "Golly,that'd be great, huh guys?" Chip being the ever cautious one was not one to abandon all belief in evil doers life time habits "Well, maybe but I'm gonna be keeping an eye out on them." Dale was still more concerned with the other two people that made their way into the cafe and growing more nervous by the minute. The Eisner brain observed Dale constantly looking at the cafe and had to ask the obvious question. "Why is that chipmunk always looking at the cafe for?" "He looks like he has to visit the little chipmunk's room." Chip noticed his friends agitated state and decided to try and calm him down. "Relax Dale,nothing's going to happen in there, MegaDale is keeping an eye on the girls so you can relax." This had the Eisner brain and Widgo curious as to what the fadora clad chipmunk was talking about. "What girls are you talking about?" "Oh just a couple of girls from a 22nd century universe who are here on uh, vacation." "And that makes him nervous?" "you'd be surprised what makes him nervous." "Oh uh very well then." Chip decided that things were safe for now so he and the other Rangers headed back to the cafe to help ease Dale's nerves. "Chip are you sure there's nothing to worry about in there?" "No not really, but we can deal with anything after we get inside." Dale not being fully convinced that everything was gonna be hunky dory was now biting his nails. "Golly I haven't seen Dale this upset since Foxglove came out wearing that wedding dress on April fools day." And with that the Rangers made it back to the cafe having to almost push Dale through the door. ---------------------------------------------------- CD (Registered User) Seeing as he was given an offer he couldn't refuse... Eisner's brain was quick to agree to be enlisted in the Coffeehouse security personal. "After all" He reasoned "Being Saint Eisner doesn't sound to bad. I'd put my only bodypart to good use to invent and plan. Hopefully I'll invent a huge laser cannon that I can use for when I become evil again. Where do I sign? Better yet, how do I sign?" "You could try to brain storm and hope the lighning strikes will leave burns on the paper that look similar to your name." Widgo Fett suggested. "No! I'll simply meditate and try to awaken my psychic powers! Then I'd manipulate the time and space around a pen and move it around to sign my name!" The brain declared triumphantly. "You could also ask me to write your name on the papers as well." Karl added. "Uh, yeah that's possible. Put also, quite predictable. I think I should do it totally different." Eisner revealed and continued to think up a plan to get his name on the piece of paper. ------------------------------------------------------- 8-Bit Star (Registered User) Plot? What Plot? In the midst of space and attention span, everyone had forgotten about ANGST. Sure, he had been stranded in Care-alot (home of the Care Bears) but I'm not the type who likes to stagnate the plot (sorry to ruin your fun, guys ;). After having gone through Care-alot AND the Forest of Feelings (yes, I used to actually watch Care Bears) bringing his namesake to both lands, causing the Care Bears and Care Cousins to become hateful and embittered, he made one more trip through the drawer. One almost wished he had gone through a wardrobe and ended up in Narnia instead, but we can't be that lucky. Thus, as Eisner's brain was figuring out how to sign his name, the omnipresent form jumped out of the drawer and was in the cafe. "#$%@" Chip stated, knowing what was up. "HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" Dale screamed. "No one can help you now!" Angst said. "Wait! Didn't 8-Bit talk about having fantastical powers or somesuch? EIGHT! WE NEED YOU!" And 8-Bit walked out... Notice I didn't refer to myself in first-person like I usually do, because THAT IS NOT ME. Lemme tell ya, the Rangers were shocked when Eight bowed down and said "greetings, my master." "Well well, if it isn't my fabulous creation--my first Imitation Author, Fake 8-Bit!" Everyone gasped. "THEN WHERE IS THE REAL EIGHT?!" Schroeder called. "Mwaahahahahaha! He is--" But, before ANGST could answer, a big safe (with a car above it) flew right through the wall, and landed, and from there Lupin called "Oh yea! We have Script-off! Hey Eight, CATCH!" "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" The Rangerphiles said as Fake-8 caught the database PC, and began to laugh. "Eh?" Lupin looked on in confusion. "This isn't the real 8-Bit!" Chip explained. "And I've got another surprise!" ANGST stated, "THOSE AREN'T 8-BIT'S CHARACTERS!" And suddenly, Fake Frog, Fake Pennywinkel, and Fake Mademanna grabbed the nearest person and took them prisoner using stun rays. Then they got off the safe and advanced towards the Rangers and fanfic authors. "But then, where are the real 8-Bit and his cast?" Chip wondered. "You need not worry about that. They're quite content to be my prisoners, I've got them locked somewhere playing a marathon of Ronin Warriors!" "That doesn't sound too bad," Dale said, remembering that 8-Bit LIKED that show. "It isn't... but what happens when the Marathon is over?" ANGST said mysteriously. "But what's important is that my fakes have infiltrated you, and your downfall has come!" Chip looked back, and wondered who the fakes were, and where the real authors had been taken to. (Meanwhile I prayed that the next poster wouldn't use a cop-out). ----------------------------------------------------- Ronnie Rabbit (Registered User) Cop-out! Suddenly, hordes of cops poured forth! from every door, every drawer, climbing in the windows! They mercilessly grappled all the villains to the ground, along with some innocent bystanders, threw them in the paddy wagons, and took them far away! However, it was determined shortly afterward that the whole thing was far the sake of a really bad pun, and by unanimouse vote Ronnie, who was found to be responsible, was bopped on the head with a mallet Gadget pulled from Hammerspace. When he fell unconcious, the pun-iverse was sealed into a closed loop of casuality, and everything returned to how it had been before the police arrived, allowing someone to REALLY solve the problem in a constructive fashion. ------------------------------------------------------------- 8-Bit Star (Registered User) LOL! Thank you, Ronnie... I really needed that. I seriously came back expecting a true-to-life cop-out, like say "Suddenly all the evil clones plop over and die and all was well" at which point I was going to have my good counterpart turn evil and beat everyone up ;). --------------------------------------------------------------- Chip Chap (Registered User) A fan's friction "Muahaha!" Fake 8-Bit gloated as his evil semi-original characters held Mr. Innocent Bystander hostage. "Wait a second..." Enaye said suspiciously as he approached the source if all the commotion, "Are you that author from Mind Media that captured the crew from Mystery Science Theater 3000, the Rescue Rangers and the real 8-Bit Star's original characters and stuck them on that weird island?" "Of course! I also created DiMM, who is my avatar." Fake 8-Bit said proudly. "Ohgoshthisissocool!CanIhaveyourautographMr.Fake8-BitStar,please. I'myourbiggestfanandIloveyourcoolcharacterTheRush,Ithinkhe'ssocool..." Enaye chattered as he ran around the room in a daze having finally met one of his most favorite fan-fic authors of all time. However, everyone else in the room was shocked beyond belief. "You...like...him?" Chip said with a shocked expression. "You...think my story was...good?" Fake 8-Bit Star said, having never intended for his stories to have ever been for any good except to fulfill his strange fantasies. "Of course I like your stories." Enaye said, having gotten over the initial shock of meeting his idol. "They so full of silly goodness are you Final Fantasy fan too? I love those games, I especially liked Cait Sith from Final Fantasy 7, I was really disappointed when the REAL 8-Bit decided to cast him with Fat Cat in his Ranger Fantasy series, I really think that Dale would have made a better fit for that role, I mean imagine Fat Cat riding a stuffed Mog, it just doesn't work. And besides..." Everyone in the Acorn Cafe stood petrified as one of the worst fan-fic authors in the universe was getting yakked to death by what could possibly his only fan. Enaye continued his mindless jabbering, totally oblivious to the stares he was getting, "I really think you should put The Rush in another story, probably in a Rescue Rangers - Megaman Legends crossover you know because I really like Tron Bonne and all those evil robots she makes." Fake 8-Bit blinked for a moment and considered what he was hearing. "You know, that does sound kind of neat... and the real 8-Bit does seem to like Mega Man..." The evil author brightened up and a look of pure and shameless selfishness crossed his face. "Yes, I'll do it, as soon I fulfill my evil plans here I'll destroy everything that 8-Bit holds dear! I'll lay waste to whole universes and make everyone suffer from the horrible choice of names I give my characters and my unforgivable habit of putting tiny people in the Rangerverse! Hahahahaha! Thanks for the idea, rodent, I never had anyone actually LIKE my stories before." "Oh, I bet they're all just jealous. Can I have your autograph, please?" Enaye said as held out a pen. "Oh sure." Fake 8-bit said as he pulled out a notepad and signed his name and handed Enaye both items. "I always wanted to get back at 8-Bit. I mean he had the gall to steal one of MY original characters." "Oh he did, did he?", Enaye said with a now obviously false look of surprise. "Yeah, he stole DiMM and used him to beat up on Chip because of something he did in Gadget in Chains." "When did this happen?" Chip asked, surprised. "I don't recall DiMM even appearing in this thread, much less attacking me." "Huh?" Fake 8-Bit said in confusion. "I could have sworn DiMM beat you up." "He didn't beat THAT Chip up." said a high-pitched voice from the entrance of the Cafe. "He beat ME up!" Everyone turned to see a chipmunk that looked remarkably similar to Chip walk into the Cafe and sneer at the occupants. "I'm the Chip Maplewood from the Realms of Chaos; the universes created by lousy fan-fic authors that keep messing up the personalities of existing characters." The Anti-Chip said with obvious distaste. "I've been forced to do things that no Disney character should be forced to do! I've had my dreams haunted by cameos, I've been forced to act like a jerk too many times to mention, I've had inexplicable bouts of jealousy and stupidity during critical moments, I've been shoved aside by practically every Mary Sue in existence, I've even been forced to kill my best friend because of some stupid time machine." Anti-Chip glared at Fake 8-Bit as he spat out those last words. "And now I'm being punished because somebody doesn't like another author’s story! Well I've had enough of this! 8-Bit Star... FEEL MY WRATH!!" Fake 8-bit dropped the database PC as he tried to run to the car his Fake characters had arrived in, but Anti-Chip clobbered him with the Ultimate Chipmunk Bonk of Doom(tm) and drove the author through the crust of Dragon Planet and into it's burning hot mantle. "Now, to pulverize that crumb's original characters." Anti-Chip said wickedly as he turned to the Fake characters that sat stupefied on the safe. "Actually, I think you might find this a bit more poetically just." Enaye said as he handed Anti-Chip the Fake 8-Bit's notebook. Anti-Chip looked at the object in wonder for a moment and then a truly terrible smile crossed his face as he took a pen and started writing... ---------------------------------------------------------- 8-Bit Star (Registered User) The 8-Bit Tweetle Beetle Battle in a Bottle on a Poodle Eating Noodles! But first: >"You...think my story was...good?" Fake 8-Bit Star said, having >never intended for his stories to have ever been for any good >except to fulfill his strange fantasies. Dude... that almost describes the REAL me! You a mind-reader? ;) Now, onto the story... ------------------------------- I was stuck, with my original characters, in a room, watching Ronin Warriors. The show wasn't bad, but we couldn't stop laughing. I felt like I was about to explode, when suddenly I had a very brilliant idea! Suddenly I pulled out my BeyBlade (that's a customizable battle top, for those who aren't up on toys) and let it rip on a random wall. Then I fell down and laughed when that actually *didn't* work. So did everyone else. (Rescue me! Please!) --------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, the Fake 8-Bit climbed out of the center of the Dragon Planet (yea, he's a survivor ;) and made his way back to the Coffeehouse, intent on beating Chip up again as well as getting his ego stroked some more (see, he's not that different from the real me after all!). Finally, he was out. "Drop that notebook, Anti-Chip!" He yelled. "Make me!" Anti-Chip retorted. Suddenly, a wall crumbled. "Yes!" I stated, "I knew it! NO WALL can stand up to BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON!" "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon?" Mademanna asked. "Legend of the Red Dragon?" Frog referenced. "By Thomas Harris?" Pennywinkel added. "That the end of the lame humor?" Lupin wondered. And then I noticed me. "Hey, who am I?" I asked you--wait, that didn't come out right... "I think you meant to say 'Who are you?' or somesuch." "Yea... you look familiar..." "Fool! Do you not recognize an EVIL CLONE when you see one, you vile stealer of characters?!" I thought, and thought... and realized this guy was a fake me...a Fake 8-Bit... "YOU!!!" I exclaimed. "Howsitbeen?" "Ha. Still absent-minded." "Headache." "Moron." "Oh." "Oh?" "Nevermind. And you get onto me for stealing characters, after YOU STOLE ONE OF MY PLOTLINES! You hypocrite!" "What? Enaye asked. "I heard the chat. If you read 'Mind Media' more closely, you'd remember that, while Fake invented the Rush, *I* put the Rangers on the Island! And heck, I actually put them on a boat, not an island! when did you read it, Enaye?" "Last year or so." "Aha! And you, Fake!" Now, I'm not a man of words. I'm all for love and peace myself (Hand me a girl and I'll be kissing--no, MAdemanna, you don't count). So, I threw a MAgic Music Device into the air, for as I previously explained, I become a superpower during songs I like. The problem is, me and Fake have similar tastes in music... First thing I did was customized a BeyBlade and let it rip. Taking some damage, he meditated until he, for five seconds, gained the attack powers of a Medabot and beat me. But I played my De-Spell card, and then used my Black Magician! But we both have similar taste in attacks, and ended with the final Commercial anime reference left to us: We both pulled out Pokeballs, threw them, and yelled "Godzilla! I CHOOSE YOU!" Well, actually, he said "Gamera." And I hit myself. "No, not THIS battle again!" (your turn, people). ----------------------------------------------------------------- MegaDale (Registered User) Oh no,the monsters are back! As the fake and real 8-BIT dueled for sumremecy,it was when they both pulled out their pokeballs and released the titans of terror that ever befell a messageboard that MegaDale knew that it was time to split. "Oh boy,here we go again." Kei and Yuri both seeing what had just been unleashed figured the floorshow had just taken a turn for the worse and figured maybe paperwork back at the 3WA wasn't such a bad thing to have to deal with after all. "Oh man how do we get out of here, they're both blocking the door!" "Don't look at me Yuri,I wasn't the one who brought us here remember!" Both of the girls turned to the one person who HAD brought them here and were very upset with him to say the least and Kei was seriously considering about throttling him. "Why have you brought us here to this-this nuthouse!" "Oh uh well I'll be honest ladies I wasn't expecting this but I did mention sharing in a misadventure or two so here it is." "If I wanted this kind of trouble I would've stayed back home! Yuri had to sidestep the monsters a couple of time from being a vicim of the battle taking place nearby not to mention listening to the ramblings of two slightly less than sane characters shouting out instructions to the monsters while they were tearing up the coffeehouse at the same time. "Well it's been fun and all but I think it's time to go home, where's that drawer thing at?" As soon as they saw where the bureau drawer was they made a break for it only to nearly get squashed when the heel of Godzilla came crashing down upon it. "Oh boy, that's not good." "Oh great, we're trapped here!" "I just hope these monsters are house broken." Looking around they see that the coffeehouse is all but destroyed from the monsters rampaging battle and MegaDale remembering this scene all too well has noticed the monsters have left once again a trail of destruction. -------------------------------------------------- Loki (Registered User) Well, when things get this crazy there's only one thing to do: GO WITH IT! Suddenly the lights around Loki went dark, with the exception of a single dramatic spotlight shining directly on top of him, casting his face into dramatic shadow. "Ya know, I come to the Ranger Coffeehouse after a long six months at sea, and believe me it was long, just to relax, hang out with some authors and characters, maybe have a drink or two, and spin yarns about what it was like in the Mediterranean. "I could go with the Gadget Clone Army. I could deal with the Borg Eisner. Heck, I could even manage the Eisner Brain and Widgo Fett. But this . . this . . author and his evil doppleganger and their Pokemon battle for the supremacy of the Universe are just too much! You clowns are cutting into my happy time, and I hope Gadget bills you for the damages!" Loki looked up, the spotlight now glinting menacingly from his eye. "I didn't want to have to do this, but as Bugs Bunny has on several occasions famously said, 'Of course you realize, this means war!' "Prepare to meet the two cutest and most destructive entities in the Universe! Behold my powers of summoning!" A wind blew, creating an even more dramatic effect. "On my left hand, the carrot-loving, half-cat, half-rabbit and part-time space warship, Ryo-Ohki!" "Nya!" said Ryo-Ohki, popping in to life on Loki's outstretched left hand. "And on my right hand, genetic experiment gone haywire, indestructible, unstoppable, but also cute and fluffy, Stitch!" "Aloha!" said Stitch, appearing on Loki's right hand out of thin air. "Meet the big guns. Guys, sic 'em!" "Nya!" said Ryo-Ohki, holding up a paw. "What? Oh, alright. Four bushels of carrots." "Oxwwe klshnishna?" Asked Stitch. "No problem. I'll write her, and I'm sure I can get one of my artist friends to draw her." Thus satisfied that their appearance fees would be met, Ryo-Ohki and Stitch plunged into the fray . . . ----------------------------------------------------- 8-Bit Star (Registered User) It's more fun than a barrel of monsters! We both glared at the previous authors, and then at each other. "Yep, we went too far." "So," I said solo, "What are we gonna do now?" "Wing it. Let Godzilla and Gamera roam free. Heck, it might cause a new and unforseen plot event. As for our battle, that can be nixed if you answer one simple question." I waited for his question. "Why oh WHY did you steal MY original character?" I thought long and hard, and came up with my reasons. "It's actually quite simple. First off, you were a clone of me, so any character you invented is, in a way, my invention, and vice versa (this means it's perfectly okay for you to use my chaps, as well). Secondly, I thought you were dead, and DiMM is just too good of a character to let him die along with you." I looked onward, and noticed the glee on his face. He had never expected such a compliment. "And third, I didn't. Check the Original Character Guide. You're still credited with his creation." Fake looked. "Well, it seems I am... though rather indirectly. And you make it sound as if I'm also just a character you invented! What gives?" "Now THAT I have no idea. I sometimes don't think in my right mind. It's as if there's a higher force guiding me..." We both listened, expecting to hear the amused laughter of another, higher, third 8-Bit Star. [At this point, the real me also turned and listened, wondering if indeed there was a fourth 8-Bit Star who was writing the Third 8-Bit Star who was writing the Second 8-Bit Star who was talking to a clone... and then I wondered: Who was the FIRST 8-Bit Star?] Ponder on THAT one, people! ------------------------------------------ MegaDale (Registered User) 8x4=32-BITS of too much Loki having just released two powerful characters seemily out of nowhere with the might that is his imagination smiled as he watched them about to wreak havoc on the ones who had destroyed his peace and harmony while the 8-BITS were more worried about who should get credit for who's characters are who's, and the real problems(namely two monstrosities by the name of Godzilla and Gamera) were busy letting it rip loose themselves and had no qualms by trashing not only each other but of course anything that stood in their way and one of the things being the car the fake 8-BIT's characters came in. SMASH! "Uh oh, that.. did not sound good" Yuri turned to the identical authors with the question neither was sure they wanted to hear. "Hey uh,did that car belong to one of you guys?" The 8-BITs run out to notice all that lay now in the place that was a car at one point was now nothing more then sheet metal. "Aw man and I just had that car detailed!" At this point Kei couldn't help but start laughing histerically watching all the calamity unfold watching what was about to happen to the authors next had her doubled over in laughter until it hurt which noone else could see what was so funny especially the authors themselves and watching the 3WA agent in such a state it only further confused them thus distracting from what was about to happen. "What is that girl laughing at anyway?" "Maybe it's you." "Aw no it's you." "no you" "no you" When the two 8-BITS noticing her pointing to something behind them while still laughing her fool head off it became appearent what she had ended up doing and that made Loki smile more than ever. ------------------------------------------- CD (Registered User) Guys... CD protested "All this monster havoc is dangerous. You never know how Windows reacts to all this action." Suddenly a mighty foot crushed one of the pictures of Clarice he had drawn a few adventures back that hadn't been cleaned by the Coffeehouse cleaning crew. "Okay, now you've gone to far!" CD replied angrily and took out a notepad and pen "See what happens when you mess with the most powerful type of artist in the galaxy!" CD wrote, and when he was finished the two monsters had turned into miniature versions of themselves, wearing diapers. Peace returned to the Coffeehouse. "Golly, what a mess! The entire Coffeehouse looks like a ruin!" Gadget observed worried. "Better say: the ruin looks like the Coffeehouse." Monty corrected her. "We literally brought the house down." Dale joked and giggled, earning him a bonk from Chip. The two 8-bit's recovered from seeing their creations reduced to mere babies. "You lose!" The said in unison. ----------------------------------------------- MegaDale (Registered User) The right song for the right occasion Having seen what became of the monsters of mayhem Kei had stopped laughing long enough to witness the latest event unfold and began laughing even more now while Yuri had to shake her head at the lunacy of the events she had been witness to herself. "Just when you think you've seen everything, alright Kei get up, it's time to get outta here before something even more ludicrous happens here." "Eh hehe oh man I will never forget this place now even if I tried,whew." "This headache I have is more reminder then I need of this place, I'm gonna get in contact with Lovely Angel and have Mughi come pick us up." Yuri used her comlink signal to patch herself through with the Lovely Angel but couldn't reach Mughi, which as usual was sleeping and only something like a sonic boom could wake him "Darn,he's not responding,guess I'll just bring the Angel here by remote then." Having done that the girls walked by the now two adorable little monsters that more looked like chibi versions of their former selves and the girls couldn't help but going all girly over them. "Aww, their so cuuuute!" "Yeah but I wouldn't want to keep them they're wearing diapers and who knows when they'll need changing." Gadget at this point decided now that things for the most part were relativly quiet she decided to inspect the damage of the coffeehouse and found one of the only things amazingly enough left untouched was the jukebox. "Golly how did that survive a monster attack?",Everything else in this place is trashed!" She decided to see if the machine was still in working order and was glad she created an alternative power source for it. "I don't know why Dale suggested I should make an alternate power source for a jukebox but I guess at long as it works who cares." Looking it over a bit she figured the best way to make sure it was alright was to actually play something on it so looking at the list she found an appropriate song on there and selected Kenny Wayne Shepard's "Everything is broken" song. "I don't know how many times I had to play this song here but I know it won't be the last." ------------------------------------------- Loki (Registered User) Cowabunga! Stitch walked over to the two now infant monsters and regarded them with undisguised contempt. Taking a deep breath, he blew them both out through the front door, which Ryo-Ohki closed behind them. "What a let down," said Loki, shaking his head. The act of shaking his head caused him to look around, taking in the shambles that had formerly been the Ranger Coffeehouse. "What a mess!" "We could use more guys like him at the WWWA," Yuri remarked. "You think he'll vouch for us that the mess wasn't our fault?" asked Kei. "Sorry, but I'm spoken for by the USN until 2005 at least. So what dirty, stormy destiny brings the Lovely Angels to the Dragon Planet?" "Him," said Kei and Yuri together, pointing out MegaDale. "Well, let's just get the mess cleaned up, and then we can all relax." Loki cleared his throat. "Will the responsible party please step forward?" Of course, no one moved. "Don't make me pick someone," Loki sighed, glaring significantly in the direction of Eight-Bit and his dopplegangers. Suddenly the lights went out, plunging everyone into darkness. When they came back on, barely a second later, the Coffeehouse had been rebuilt as new, with hardly a scratch and not even an ash in the ashtrays. "That's the advantage of a virtual club-house," said Gadget, emerging from the back room and dusting off her hands. "If it gets too messed up, we can just reset it. Since it's stored on a supercomputer, it boots up fairly quickly." "Neat trick," Loki said, much immpressed. "It keeps the rennovating costs down, and with this bunch around," said Gadget, indicating the authors, "we have to rennovate pretty frequently. I'd guess that about 50% of all Coffeehouse threads seem to end with some crazy gigantic battle royale that wrecks the place." "Whew, violent bunch," observed Kei as Yuri nodded in agreement. "I wonder if this means I still have to write Stitch a girlfriend," Loki wondered to himself. But the fluffy blue menace was not immediately apparent. "Stitch?" Loki looked around, finally catching sight of him and Ryo-Ohki at a back table, sharing an ice cream soda. "Ah, I guess not." "But what about Ken-Ohki?" asked one of the authors, who was evidently a Tenchi muyo fan. "Nya?" said Ryo-Ohki. "She said 'Who's Ken-Ohki?'" Loki reported, for the benefit of those who did not speak cabbit. "How did that happen?" asked Wiston. Loki looked at his watch. "Yup, it's February." -------------------------------------------------------------------- Kat (Registered User) In a Control Room... A brown-eyed mouse was seated in front of a keyboard. She occassionally tapped on a key or two. A blue eyed mouse was looking at the rows of monitors mounted in various places. Both mice bear a striking resemblance to Gadget, but the brown-eyed mouse has darker fur. "Security monitors?" asked the brown-eyed mouse. "Back on-line, Grace. Status of main generators?" replied the blue-eyed mouse. "Working at expected output levels. Is it safe to assume everything is back to normal in the Coffeehouse?" Grace glanced at her distant cousin and replied, "That depends on how you define 'normal'." Widget Bernouli looked at one of the monitors, said "I suppose this qualifies...", and pointed to the chibified Coffeehouse visitors. Grace looked up from the keyboard. "What the...?!? Er, on second thought, I -don't- wanna know." She looked back at the keyboard. ------------------------------------------------------ Karl (Registered User) The last straw: Angst had had a very bad day. It felt like making people curl up in the corners and scream themselves to sleep. Of course, it always felt pretty much that way, but today was special. It picked an easy-looking victim, and crept close. Closer. Closer... Suddenly it pounced, wrapping the small innocent creature in thick, oozing layers of self-doubt, despair, and all remembered evils of its victim's life. Stitch did not respond in the manner Angst expected. Stitch had been alive only a few weeks, and his most crushing memory involved beating up a guitar amplifier... "Qxtlp?" He asked, cheerfully. Then he started playing a game of tag with Angst. The Rangerphiles looked on in awe as they ran, screaming, down the road away from the Coffeehouse. "How long d'ya think it'll take for Angst to figure out it's a game?" wondered Dale. "A long time, I hope." Answered Chip. "What's a WWWA?" Karl asked Google... The search engine said not a word, for the speakers had been crushed and weren't part of the most recent Coffeehouse Software update.. "So - do I still get paid?" asked Widgo Fett. Eisner's disembodied brain just sat there, remembering waking up in Widgo's arms. Somewhere, a young Jedi shuddered and said "That's just plain gross!". -------------------------------------------------------------- 8-Bit Star (Registered User) The Easy Way! I, 8-Bit, decided that the situation was best resolved the easy way. "Fake, I've got an idea. We can settle our differences an easy way." "Okay, let's hear it." I pulled out my BeyBlade, a Master Dranzer. I also pulled out my GameBoy Advance containing Yu-Gi-Oh: the Eternal Duelist's Soul. "Duel. So which one do you choose, BeyBlade, or Duel Monsters? This way, no more rampant destruction... from us, anyway." "All right, I'll think on it. Right now, you have something to do." With that, Fake handed me the Database PC. "Oh yea! I forgot about this!" I flipped it on. "Hmmm... Okay guys! Big day for us all! I'm now about to alter the copyrights so that Rescue Rangers belongs to the fans! Now then... As my first order of business..." I grinned, "I'm turning the copyrights for the character of Gadget Hackwrench over to..." Everyone paused, the room went silent, not even a drumroll (no stupid American dubber is gonna mess up THIS exciting scene!) Suddenly, the Samurai Troopers song "Faraway" began playing in the background, and a disk came out of the Database PC. "And now!" I said, "The Rangerphile I feel most deserves this very special copyright!" I threw the disk, while yelling "INDY! I CHOOSE YOU!" Indy caught the disk flawlessly. I'm not quite sure how he reacted. "And now for the other Rangers..." -------------------------------------------------- Loki (Registered User) Wrapping up more loose ends . . . (We sure left a lot of them lying about with that tale, didn't we?) Kei tapped Karl on the shoulder, and when he turned around, she explained helpfully, "WWWA stands for the 'Worlds Welfare Work Association'. It's who we work for, we're Trouble Consultants!" As Loki had pointed out earlier, it was February and as a consequence of the proximity of Valentine's Day, the Magical Female Powers (TM) were strengthening considerably. After all, spring would soon be upon us, and a young man's fancy would turn lightly to thoughts of, well, you know. Karl found himself unable to form a coherent reply to the scantily attired redhead. "Oh brother, here we go again," said the Enduring Man-Child. As Michael Eisner's brain woke up and (as the EM-C would put it) GAZED into Widgo Fett's eyes, he also found himself unable to think of much for a bit. "Darn, now I wish I didn't do the evil disembodied brain thing. It's kind of a handicap, you know?" "They make rather an odd couple, don't they?" observed Winston. "Well, let's do something about that," said Loki, and drawing Winston over to a table, they sat down and tossed various ideas back and forth. Finally, Loki wrote out about a page of descriptive prose, and Winston (who was a better artist) used it as the basis for a drawing, and Bob's yer uncle, Michael Eisner's brain was comfortably encased in a reasonably good-looking mouse form, wearing an elegant, futuristic tuxedo. "Good work Winston." "A mouse?" asked Michael Eisner? "Sure," said Winston. "Do you good to see how the other half lives for a while." "Try it, you'll like it," Loki added is Widgo Fett came over and took one of his paws in both of hers. "Er, I'm Michael." "Hi, I'm Widgo." "I'm gonna cry," said the Enduring Man-Child. In a generous mood, for obvious reasons, Michael Eisner decided not to press charges against Eight-Bit Star and company for the script vault heist, deciding that it was better to license the characters to creative people who truly cared about them. Over the objections of his lawyers (the true root of all evil), he executed a licensing agreement jointly and severally with the Acorn Cafe and its patrons. ====== "Nice crowd, huh?" asked Botan. "Sure are," said Hades. "We ought to invite them to drop by more often." Botan gave him a strange look. "Not permanently. Just as, you know, visitors." Botan nodded and polished off her milkshake. And even the mythical realm of the dead became a more pleasant place. ====== Silicon heaven was now a very pleasant place, especially if one happened to be a Gadgephile, or a Gadget. All the Gadget clones were happily repairing broken and discarded things, and even combining some of them into new and exciting products, that did indeed work with no problems. ====== Am I missing any other loose ends? Someone else please tie them up. ^_~ ------------------------------------------------------ Loki (Registered User) "Hey! Let's get Julie!" Loki grinned like the mischevous maniac he was as this thought struck him. "After all, she hasn't said anything this thread. It's about time someone did something about that." Indy knew well the dangers of tampering with the wrath of the mistress of the message board, and advised Loki, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. She might be busy or something." "All the more reason to bring her here. Poor girl is probably bored out of her skull from not hanging out here with all of us!" Loki pulled out a pad and pen. "You wouldn't dare!" "Dare?" asked Loki, his grin growing wider. "Did you say 'dare'?" And with that he put pen to paper and wrote: "Suddenly, as if by magic, Julie Bihn was transported to the Ranger Coffeehouse." And in the midst of a purple glow, the Acorn Cafe's premier Gadgephile appeared out of thin air, eyes flashing with anger as she had actually been pulled away from something important, in a real-life sort of way. Instantly she drew her Magic Sword (TM) and said, "Alright, someone dies!" Her eyes swept the crowd looking for the perpetrator. "Come on, own up, who did that?" "Me," said Loki, who was standing behind her. Truly, the man was either fearless or just plain nuts. Julie whirled and raised her Magic Sword, intending to deal this upstart newbie (to her) a mighty blow, when she suddenly stopped in mid-stroke and, to the amazement of everyone present, blushed. Loki, for his part, put on one of his confused faces and tried to remember the last time anyone even remotely female had blushed at his appearance, and thinking it was probably college. "Your uniform," said Julie rather quietly. "My . . ." Loki looked down at his Service Dress Blues, ribbons, kerchief and all. "Huh. I'd quite forgotten I was wearing it." And then . . . ------------------------------------------------------------- Winston (Registered User) Something's strange here... Winston flipped through a stack of printouts, puzzling over an odd discrepency. "Wasn't MFP supposed to show up at some point? I kinda lost track of it... but then again, maybe I just missed something..." "Huh? I just assumed it got taken care of at some point, along with all the other villains so far." Indy shrugged. "Something's not right." Winston mumbled as he sat down at a table, still picking through the rough thread archive he'd created. "Of course, this IS the coffeehouse, so who knows what to expect, but still, there's something weird going on here. I'm just not sure - " Suddenly, Winston dropped his papers and looked around the room. "That's it. MegaDale summoning Kei and Yuri... Widgo and Michael... Loki and Julie... aww, jeeze, why didn't anyone see it?! MFP is... ALREADY HERE!" "Huh? What are you talking about? I don't think it's here, and if it is, it's still not hitting most of us... at least, not any harder than usual." 8-Bit pointed out. "That's the trick." Winston explained. "I think it's trying to use a gradual approach to evade detection. It'll grow in strength slowly, waiting for the right time, and when Valentine's Day rolls around..." "We're all in big trouble." Indy finished darkly. "So what do we do about it?" Winston shrugged. "I have no idea. I'm utterly clueless when it comes to stuff like this. Intelligent yet eccentric borderline nutcases like me usually are. I sure hope someone around here knows what to do..." ---------------------------------------------- CD (Registered User) Fortunately, one person knew what to do "If love is in the air, this is my long awaited chance!" CD declared triumphantly and pulled out his notepad and pen. "No, you don't know what you're dealing with!" Steve Nutcracker warned him but it was too late. CD pridely looked at his written version of Clarice, and GAZED at her beauty, the MFP quickly taking over his soul. "Oh dear..." Mercy murmured and wondered what was next. ------------------------------------------------------ MegaDale (Registered User) I suppose it was bound to happen MegaDale had begun noticing that the guys that had females with them was starting to act typical to ones that had fallen under the MFP and he was wondering if he had been a "victim" to it's effects as well when he brought the imfamous duo of galactic detruction to the cozy homestead that was the coffeehouse,he couldn't be sure as he had not been around females that had that effect on him since the 10th grade but he decided he wasn't going to think about it, love was a risky thing and he figured if it was meant to be than he'd know in his own way,that's when the girls walked up to him. "Hey MegaDale,you want to dance?" "There's a jukebox over there we could put to good use while we wait for our ride to show up." "Hey yeah listen we're also sorry we got all mad at you for bringing us here when the monsters went on the rampage and all,this place is pretty kickin' an all ya know?" "Uh sure ladies no probs,but say listen what would you like to get on Valentines day if you have someone to celebrate it with, let's start with you Yuri" "Well I'd like to get diamonds over chocolate, I'm trying to watch my figure." "And you Kei?" "What else,guns!" "Ok any prefs on the tunes to dance to?" Kei was wanting something hard and heavy but wasn't sure how that would go over with the rest of the guests at the coffeehouse she just didn't dance well to anything she considered "mushy". "Well if you don't mind... I'd like something with a beat to it I don't do well with the soft stuff." "Ok, do you care Yuri?" Naw it's ok I like something to rock out to every now and then as well." "Cool" MegaDale pulled a quarter out of his pocket and flung it straight at the jukebox which by "writer's law" made a perfect insertion into the coin slot and from way over from the bar no less. "So ladies, "diamonds and guns" you said?" Pressing the selection on the jukebox it began playing "Diamonds and guns" by the group Transplants and the rest of the guests stopped dead in their tracks of what they were either doing or talking about as they listened to the music playing "That isn't exactly romantic" came one of the authors "I'm surprised they can even dance to it." "What are they listening to anyway?" And although romance wasn't exactly what spurred the selection of the music, the fact that two girls were enjoying themselves with him the MFP began to have it's effect on MegaDale none the less cuz you just don't underestimate the MFP. ------------------------------------------------------------ Ronnie Rabbit (Registered User) Ronnie grinned. "*I* know what to do..." Shyly (but not so shyly nor slowly that someone else could beat him to it, mind you!), he took Gadget's hand. "We all give in, of course. I figure by this time next week, we'll all be well and truly twitterpated, just in time for Valentine's Day!" he beamed. He frowned again, though (which was really hard to do while he was holding Gadget's hand- of course, staying concious was hard, too...) "We're sitll... missing something... oh!" he brightened. "Of course!" He tugged on Gadget's paw, leading her to one of the computers- for Ronnie did all of his writing solely with keyboards- and quickly the small orange bunny tapped out a single sentence. Gadget grinned, foofing his hair as she read over his shoulder. "I think that," she squeaked solemnly, "Will work with No Problems." They all nodded in agreement, and went off- some in pairs, to romantically lit tables; some sat around the stage, where Clarice, Chip, and Dale were starting up the hottest band in all munkdom, again, to cheers and wolf-whistles (the latter cheerfully met with a bonk to the offending whistler's head by CD). And as all settled in for what promised to be a wonderful week of giving into the most kindly evil to ever grace the Acorn Cafe - the limitless mystery of Magical Female Powers - the computer sat quietly in its corner, the words glowing bright and cheerful and full of promise: AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER ------------------------------------------------ SomeGhol (Registered User) Tune in next time! Same Ranger time, same Ranger URL! And as all settled in for what promised to be a wonderful week of giving into the most kindly evil to ever grace the Acorn Cafe - the limitless mystery of Magical Female Powers - the computer sat quietly in its corner, the words glowing bright and cheerful and full of promise: AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER .... SomeGhol sat next to the tap, idly sipping a warm beverage. It was snowing again outside, but the inside of the Coffee House was warm and snug. The writer had been content to sit on the wayside and soak up the MFP that was floating around the room, much as he had for the last two thirds of the story thread (aside from the occasional cameo that is); but now he wanted to do something. Maybe it was the Magical Female Powers™ that were rapidly gaining power. Maybe it was the general stupidity that the poor guy could never quite get away from. Maybe we’ll never know, but for whatever reason, an idea formed in SomeGhol’s mind. He chuckled as he slid off the bar stool, paced unnoted to the front door and stepped out… (What does this guy have in mind? What’s he planning? Maybe we’ll find out later oooooon The NEXT string less Coffee House story Thread!) ----------------------------------------------------- 8-Bit Star (Registered User) 8-Bit's Epilogue I did not want to be left out either, but I did not have a girl to spend this lovely evening with... or, did I? I too, am an author, and that gives me the ability to do THIS! Suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard the lovely voice of Mega Man's sister, Roll, calling "hey Eight-Biiiiiit!" I turned, and smiled. (My evil clone, of course, gave himself an evil clone of Roll). Without further ado, I grabbed Roll's arm, greeted her, and asked her to sit with me at a table. Suddenly, Mega Man ran up, and asked "Roll, what about Bass?" She whispered, "This is a secret to everybody." Mega Man smiled sneakily. "Oh, I see..." Then he left us alone like the nice boy he was. --------------------------------------------------------------