Disclaimer: All characters used in this piece of fan-fiction are the property of Walt Disney Co.--except Kat. Kat is my fictional (mutant) self, so she belongs to me. ;) I am not making any money off of this nor am I trying to infringe upon anyone’s copyrighted property. I’m doing this just for fun. Please read, copy, print, burn, etc. freely. No disrespect is intended toward the authors of the parodies/fan-fics/fan-filks referenced in this fan-fic.

 SCENE: IN THE LAIR, MAIN ROOM

Every non-human Rescue Rangers villian (from the series) has been summoned to the Lair. Prof. Norton Nimnul and Irweena Allen are here, too. Irweena is messing around with an electric guitar. Nimnul is messing around with some spare parts.

Kat: Hey, Nimnul! Leave those alone!

Nimnul: But I was just...

Kat: Stow it, Nimnul! If you want to build something, use the Legos.

Nimnul: And where, pray tell, do you keep them?

Kat: In a big, yellow bucket on a shelf.

Kat points to a big, yellow bucket on a shelf. Nimnul gets the bucket down and looks inside. Lawhiney and Shake'a Bake'a are in there, playing with the Legos.

Nimnul (singing): There's someone else in your bucket, dear Kat, dear Ka-at...

Kat: That's quite enough of THAT, Norton! You'll get a chance to sing later!

Fat Cat is waving a printout of Jaelle & Orla's "The Bucket Song".

Fat Cat: Oooooh! I wish Jaelle and Orla had never written this--this--piece of X-filk!

Kat teleports the printout away from Fat Cat. It appears in Irweena's lap. Sewernose walks into the room.

Sewernose: WHO left the toilet lid up?!?

Kat: Don't worry about that, Sewernose. You won't be the one who gets flushed in THIS story.

Lawhiney is now out of the bucket and is sitting near Desiree DeLure. Desiree is quietly reading off of a printout.

Lawhiney (ROFL): HA! I LOVE that part!!

Kat wonders what has amused the insipid islander so much and looks (over Desiree's shoulders) at the printout. She sees that it is chapter 5 of "Sisters". A shocked expression spreads across her face.

Kat: Desiree!! Don't encourage her!!

Kat teleports them away and puts the printout in a cabinet.

 SCENE: THE RAINBARREL

Lawhiney & Desiree appear above a rainbarrel and then fall into it with a double "splash". Desiree surfaces first, soon followed by Lawhiney. Desiree's make-up is ruined.

Desiree: I am WET! I HATE wet!

Lawhiney: You should have used waterproof make-up, honey. Yours is streaking.

Desiree pulls out her mirror and examines her face. She freaks out and dives back underwater.

SCENE: BACK IN THE LAIR

Kat: Ready Sewernose? Irweena?

Sewernose: Of course.

Irweena: Yeah!

Kat: Let's do it!

The trio begins singing annoying filk, off key. Nimnul joins them. Everyone else writhes in agony and tries to plug their ears.

Kat, Nimnul, Irweena, and Sewernose: ...They're real-ly like X-Men. They may not know where they're goin', but you can tell where they have been!

Fat Cat: Aaaargh! Stop that infernal racket at once!

They continue singing. Kat teleports Fat Cat away.

SCENE: THE LAIR'S BATHROOM

Fat Cat appears over the toilet and drops into it.

Fat Cat: Yuk! How DARE you...

He gets teleported again.

SCENE: BACK TO THE MAIN PART OF THE LAIR

The quartet pulls out copies of the Koo Koo Cola jingle.

Sewernose (aside) : Hey, I didn’t know it was bottled in Pensacola!

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Come along, you belong, Feel the fizz of Koo Koo Cola...

Mole tries to change the song.

Mole: Golly, golly, golly, get your gizmos here...

Kat pulls out printouts of Matt Plotecher's parody/filk. The quartet start singing "Golly, golly, golly". Irweena does Chip's parts, Sewernose takes Monty's parts, Nimnul does Dale's, and Kat masacres Gadget's lines.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Golly, golly, golly, get your gizmos here.

Irweena, Nimnul, Sewernose: Golly, golly, golly get some doodads here.

Kat: All hail Megavolt!

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Come on down to Gadget’s, get those gadgets here. You’re going to neeeeed, a helmet in-deeeeed, But try not to think about it!

Every RR villain in the room gangs up on Mole and beats the tar out of him.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Golly, golly,golly, get those deathtraps heeeeere!

El MNOPO tries to make a hole in the wall, but knocks himself out instead.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Got a lot of golly jolly time bombs here!

Bubbles--oh, he's the Hooded Menace now--tries the door, but it is locked and secured.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Everything, we think, is safe--that’s what we declare!

Rat Capone and his gang try to jimmy a window open, but they get shocked very badly.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: A gizmo is a thing...

Nimnul: That’s all it is, and there’s a lot of ‘em.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Like the Ranger Wing...

Kat (aside) : I happen to like it very much, thank you.

Nimnul elbows her.

Nimnul: Occasionally it works...um, sometimes.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: The rotors get stuck in flight, or do other bad junk...

Megavolt pops up--similar to the way Dan "Toasty" Forden pops up in Mortal Kombat 2.

Megavolt: Hey!! That’s NOT how it goes!!!

He pops back down. The quartet continue to sing it off key & messed up, anyway.

After what seems like an eternity to the audience, the song ends. Irweena and Nimnul then do "The Bucket Song". Irweens sings Rogue's parts and Nimnul sings Joseph's parts.

(Note: Jospeh is the mutant formerly known as Magneto.)

Nimnul: There's someone else in my bucket, dear Rogue, dear Ro-ogue...

The audience tries to attack the singers, but Kat keeps teleporting them away. They keep re-appearing at the opposite end of the room.

Mepps: Fat Cat won't be happy about this.

Wart: Where IS Fat Cat, anyway?

 SCENE: A SWAMP

Fat Cat is walking around a swamp with an angry and disgusted look on his face. He suddenly disappears.

 SCENE: THE LAIR, MAIN ROOM

Fat Cat appears in the Lair. Desiree and Lawhiney soon follow. They all try to plug their ears.

Norton: ...with whaaaaat!?

Irweena: With METAL, dear Joseph, dear Jo-seph; with METAL, dear Jospeh, dear Jospeh. With MET-AL!

Desiree: Will zomeone pleaze shoot me!?

Lawhiney: Sorry. Kat took my gun away!

Fat Cat: Aaaaaargh!

He collapses and remains unconscious on the floor.

Irweena and Nimnul finish their duet. The quartet starts "You're the Best Bee For Me"

Irweena: One, two, three, four...

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Bee my honey, bee my drone!

Kismet dives under the couch. Her tail is still visible and every single hair on it sticks straight out.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Meet me tonight, I’m not coming home!

Jack and Nichols climb up a wall in an attempt to reach the rafters. This attempt fails and they slide down--into each other. They knock heads and go down for the count.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: When you come callin’ bring the pollen, and we’ll be fallin’ in love!

Bud (the snake who helped Freddy)wraps his coils around his head and closes his eyes (as if in great pain).

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Give me a buzz and I come alive, when I see you, I get hives!

Lou (Bud’s spider/accomplice) climbs into the rafters, where he hangs and puts 6 of his feet on his head.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Hard to be humble when my heart’s in a tumble, so don’t you bumble with me!

Desiree beats her head against a wall until she loses consciousness.

Irweena, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Buzz, buzz, can’t you see, you’re the best bee for me!

Lawhiney looses what little sanity she had left and puts her paws down. She shrugs and grins insanely.

Lawhiney: Well, if you can't ignore them...

Lawhiney joins the sing-a-long.

Irweena, Lawhiney, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: When you come callin’ bring the pollen, and we’ll be fallin’ in loooooove!

Irweens plays the intrumental part on her guitar now.

Nimnul: Eh? We have a problem!

Kat:What?!?

Nimnul: The mouse wasn't singing off key like the rest of us!

Kat: Lawhiney! Can't you do ANYTHING right?!? Sing off key or join the audience!

After Irweena’s guitar solo, the quartet resume singing. Lawhiney pouts and then sings--off key.

Irweena, Lawhiney, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: Buzz, buzz, can’t you see, you’re the best bee for me!

Nimnul: That's more like it!

He continues singing.

Irweena, Lawhiney, Kat, Nimnul, Sewernose: ...And we’ll be fallin’ in loooove!!

Rat Capone: You doity rats! I'll get youse for this!!

Kat: I'd like to see you try!

Kat teleports Rat Capone away.

 SCENE: THE BATHROOM--AGAIN

Rat Capone appears above the toliet and falls in. we see a lasso snag the handle. It goes taut and yanks the handle down, thus causing the toilet to flush. Rat Capone screams as he goes down the toilet.

SCENE: THE LAIR, MAIN ROOM

Finally, the quartet finished their final number. Everyone in the audience is unconscious by now.

Lawhiney (grinning): Isn’t this the part where we chase Zipper all over the stage?

Irween swings her guitar at Lawhiney, but she misses. Lawhiney sticks her tongue out at Irweena. Irweena tries again, but the guitar breaks as it strikes the ground after Lawhiney jumps aside. Irweena quits trying, due to exhaustion.

Kat (doing a bad Elvis impersonation): Thank you! Thank you vera much! You've been a won'erful audience!

Nimnul, and Sewernose collapse, exhausted.
Gadget Hackwrench walks into the room, looks around cautiously, and removes her earplugs.

Kat: Gadget?!? Where did YOU come from?

Gadget (smirking): The bathroom. Is it safe now?

Lawhiney (looking very loopy): Yes, dear; the coast is clear.

Gadget's smirk turns into a puzzled expression.

Gadget: Okay, Lawhiney. What are you up to THIS time?

Lawhiney looks at Gadget and laughs hysterically.

Gadget (aside to Kat): What's HER problem?

Kat (aside to Gadget): I think she's finally lost her mind.

Gadget: Oh. That would explain it.

Kat: And the first person who asks for an encore...has flippin' lost HIS mind, too!

Gadget: Don't you ever get tired of picking on my "evil twin"?

Kat looks at the ceiling for a moment and then looks at Gadget.

Kat: Nope.

Lawhiney: G'night everybody!

We hear Lawhiney laughing hysterically as the camera fades out.