okay sports fans. a new song to make you happy. Oh and btw, that is an ACTUAL album that I created at CDNOW.com. enjoy! -Eddie --- Squirellenium Sung to the tune of “Millenium” by Robbie Williams From the Soundtrack “Squirrelenium:The Album” Available on Ultrabox SoundWorx By Eddie Baird wescottrrx@att.net [Fade in. The Squirrel’s Night Out band, Wescott and Guy Atticas, Skippy and Slappy Squirrel, Rocket J., Secret S.,Tammy and Elizabeth Sorenthia, and Laura Katera, sit at their round table on the 24th floor of the Sears Tower. Wescott takes a sip of his coffee.] Wescott: Come on, guys. We need to get the new song for the Squirrelenium album off the ground... Tammy: What do you mean, Peanut? Laura: Do you ALWAYS have to butt in, Tammy? Tammy: Don’t you dare talk to me that way, bimbo! Laura: BIMBO?! RRRR!! Wescott: Ladies, please! Take your differences out after the song! Tammy/Laura: Sorry, Wes. Wescott: Right then. Dad, what say you? Guy: I think we should do the song about that other song, you know that one with the roulette table...and it looks like a Chrysler 300M commercial? Elizabeth: What’s he talking about, Wes? Wescott: Don’t worry, Binky. He doesn’t watch MTV that often. He’s talking about “Millenium” By Robbie Williams. All but Guy and Wescott: That could work! Wescott: Alright, then. Tammy, get the video equipment. Binky, sound equipment. We’ll record at sunrise. All: Right! [Rocket is being pursued around the room by Slappy.] Rocket: Secret! Help!! [Secret removes a glue gun from his jacket and pours some of the adhesive on the ground. Slappy is held in place andscowls at the lavender-capped secret agent.] Slappy: You’ll hear from my agent, Secret Squirrel. Secret: Just doing my job, ma’am. Sorry for the inconvenience. [Fade to very early sunrise on the roof. Wescott stands before the microphone, Slappy and Skippy tune their violins, Tammy tests her equipment, while Rocket works his guitar and Guy works on his, Secret tightens his drums and Elizabeth tests her mic, holding her tambourine and Laura turns on the synthesizer. Wescott looks back to the other squirrels.] Wescott: Ok, everyone. We’ll only get one shot at this today, so let’s make this thing work. Tammy, is the video/audio ready? Tammy: Check and Check, Peanut. Wescott: Okay, is everyone situated with their instruments? All: Check. Wescott: Good, let’s get this on. A one...A two... [The music starts up, violins leading off as the camera pans around all of them.] Girls: OoooooOOOooooooohhh... All: We’ve got fur and long, bushy tails And incisors that never fail, Squirrelenium... Wescott: Some say that we are rodents, Some say that we are dumb, But if you tick us off then we just might bite off your thumb, Got to speed up...Tell me what’s up... Run around in treetops, Live our lives in dreys and nests, Laying down under the ground, we’re not your ordinary pest... Then we speed up...Before we slip up... All: We’ve got fur and long bushy tails, And incisors that never fail, With some of us gliding with sails, Squirrelenium... Wescott: Live for aggravation, make life a living hell, It’s acting like a pack of jesters, that we pull off so well, My friends all share one species here, Close knit to flesh and fur, We all find it amusing, ‘Cause we know they’ll never see our blur... All: We’ve got fur and long bushy tails, And incisors that never fail, With some of us gliding with sails, Squirrelenium... Elizabeth: Run and hide, we jump and glide And drive mankind insane, Tammy and Elizabeth: Come along, and sing the song To end all the mundane... Secret: Squirrelenium... Rocket: Squirrelenium... All: We’ve got fur and long bushy tails, And incisors that never fail, With some of us gliding with sails, Squirrelenium... Skippy: Wherever we go we make people crazy No one can say that we are all lazy, Get up and see mischief that’s in my eyes... [Spew!!] Wherever we go we make people crazy, No one can say that we are all lazy, Get up and see the mischief that’s in my AY-YI-EYES... All: We’ve got fur and long bushy tails, Laura: Squirrelenium... All: And incisors that never fail, Guy: Squirrelenium... All: With some of us gliding with sails, Squirrelenium... Wescott, spoken: And we all shine... [Chorus ad nauseum...] Wescott: ...And, we’re clear. [Everyone heaves a sigh of relief and cheers.] Wescott: Good job guys. Maybe those jerks in the 50th floor will quit laughing at us after we get on TRL. Tammy: Now that would be something...Having our song on national cable TV with total morons off of the street interupting for shout outs... [Everyone looks at each other and pauses.] All: NAAAHH!!! Skippy: Come on, Aunt Slappy, let’s go home. This height is gonna make me spew. Slappy: Well, we can’t have that now on Mr. Atticas nice Chicago building, can we? See you later, handsome. [Skippy and Slappy go offscreen.] Wescott: Uh... Tammy: Hey, Peanut. I’ll buy you a coffee. Laura: Oh yeah? I’ll buy him a double and a scone. Tammy: Humph! I’ll get him A Caffe Latte, a scone, the Tribune and A NEW CAR! Laura: LIAR! Wescott: Uh... Tammy/Laura: SHUT UP, WESCOTT!!! Wescott: Dagum it! [Wescott, Tammy and Laura leave. Elizabeth runs after them.] Elizabeth: Wait for me, sis! Secret: And I have another case. See ya! [Secret pulls rotor blades from his hat and flies off to the North.] Rocket: Oh! Bullwinkle! I gotta get back to Frostbite Falls! Bullwinkle’s still falling off the falls! [Rocket glides off the building, leaving Guy all alone.] Guy: Uh, hello? Anyone? Anyone? AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!..... [The camera pans away to the Chicago skyline.] Singing: Squirrelenium! [Fade out.] Eddie Baird