*AT KAT'S LAIR*

Nightcrawler is sitting on the couch. He is watching an Errol Flynn movie marathon with Kat, who is leaning her head on his shoulder. The window to the Marvel Universe opens and Wolverine slides through it.

WOLVERINE: I hate to ruin the party, elf, but you're needed back in our dimension.

Kurt looks at Kat. Kat looks at him.

KURT: Sorry, Kat. It's been fun, but I have to go.

KAT: Awwww!

Kurt stands up. He and Wolverine walk toward the window.

KAT: Hey, Logan!

WOLVERINE: Eh? Go on, elf. I'll be with you in a minute.

Kurt blows a kiss to Kat as he climbs through the window. Kat smiles and then looks at Wolverine.

WOLVERINE: What is it, darlin'?

KAT: Do you have your Adamantium back yet?

Logan holds up his right hand in a fist. He "pops" his claws. We see that they are still made of bone.

WOLVERINE: Does that answer yer question, darlin'?

He sheaths his claws.

KAT: Man, your Writers are a lousy bunch of…

Kat's Writer makes her cut her sentence short.

WOLVERINE: Take care, Kat.

KAT: Bye, Logan!

Wolverine is about to leave when 3 glowing clawmarks appear. They spread into a portal and a mouse-sized Kuwani jumps through. The portal closes and a few seconds later, she returns to her normal size. For the benefit of those who don't know her, Kuwani is a Tari (mouse-like humanoid) with blonde hair. She stands 4' 7" tall (which is about 1.35 meters, for those of you who are on the Metric System), has a slender, muscular build, and when she is wearing her purple gear (as she is now), she vaguely resembles Gadget Hackwrench (of the Rescue Rangers).

Wolverine notices a rose in her hair.

WOLVERINE: Where'd ya get that, darlin'?

Kuwani looks at him and then realizes he's talking about the rose.

KUWANI: Heh. Chipper gave it to me.

She takes it out from behind her ear and sniffs it.

WOLVERINE: Really? (He grins.) I'm happy for ya. Hope he's a real

gentleman--for his sake.

He smiles mischievously and climbs through the window. The window to the Marvel Universe closes.

KAT: You've been at Chipper's -this- long? Whatcha been up to?

KUWANI: Oh, nothing that would interest you. (Grins impishly.)

KAT: I know that grin. Spill it, mega-flirt!

Kuwani looks around the room. She sees a piece of paper and picks it up.

KUWANI: What's this?

KAT: Don't change the subject!

The paper is a printout of a letter from someone called "Robo|\|erd". Kuwani reads it.

KAT: Hey!! That's my mail you're reading!

KUWANI: This stinks! He's moving his site because some low-life kept cracking into his account at AOL!!

KAT: Don'tcha mean 'NO life'?

KUWANI: Huh?!?

KAT: It has been my experience that people crack passwords for two reasons: thrill or profit. Since there is little profit in hacking into an AOL account, I'd say the perpetrator has -way- too much time on his hands and was looking for a thrill--which indicates he has NO life. If he had a life, he'd be too busy to pull crap like that.

KUWANI: But someone smart had to have cracked the passwords.

KAT: Yup. A case of intelligence without compassion. Heh. Kinda like Lawhiney, eh?

KUWANI: Hmm. That's -one- way to describe her. Where ARE Lawhiney and S.B. anyway?

KAT: (Looks embarrassed.) Ooops! I forgot about them. I did another one of those random 'ports again when they surprised Kurt and me.

Kuwani sighs and rolls her large, blue eyes.

KUWANI: Not -another- random 'port! Wait a sec...(Impish grin.) Surprised you doing -what-?

KAT: Oh, nothing that would interest you.

*AT CHIPPER'S TREEHOUSE*

Chipper is humming to himself and making some coffee for Adam when the Wookmunk awakens. Adam is sleeping on a lounge chair after having had a go at George Lucas' wine cellar. Chipper is a chipmunk identical to Chip from the Rescue Rangers in appearance, but he wears Jedi garb and has a lightsabre at his belt. Adam resembles Dale but has longer hair and wears an ammo belt. (See "The Power of the Farce")

CHIPPER: (mutters to himself) Adam, ya got to learn moderation. I know you wookmunks have the ability to stay sober longer, but sheez! A whole human-sized bottle?!

Chipper shakes his head and pours some orange juice for himself and sits back, reading a science fiction book.

*AT KAT'S LAIR*

Kuwani is gesturing over a pan full of water. She stops and frowns.

KAT: Found 'em?

KUWANI: Yeah. You're -not- going to like this. They're in Gannon's Evil Jar.

KAT: Ha! How appropriate!

KUWANI: Get serious.

KAT: (smirking) I am.

The manhole over the gutter moves aside and Space Ace sticks his head up.

SPACE ACE: I wish people would quit ripping off our routine!

KIMBERLY: (still in the gutter) Dexter! Get back down here!

Ace ducks back down & we hear him say something before the manhole slides back into place.

SPACE ACE: Call me 'Ace', huh?

KUWANI: What are we going to do? We can't just teleport into Gannon's place and ask him if we can retrieve something from his Evil Jar.

KAT: Why not?

KUWANI: Because if he refused, and he probably would, he'd attack us. Then I'd be obligated to attack back. If we started a mage duel, we'd destroy half of Hyrule!

KAT: Oh. Hmm. Maybe if we teleport outside and sneak in?

KUWANI: That could work. Maybe we should consult Zelda and Link first.

Kat grabs a backpack.

KAT: Okay. Let's go!

They teleport away from the Lair. The window to Mobius opens and Bunnie Rabbot steps through it. For those who don't know her, Bunnie is a Mobian hare who stands about 3 feet tall (slightly less than a meter, for those of you using the Metric System). Her fur is 2 shades of brown and her left ear tends to droop. Her left arm and both of her legs are robotic--due to her close encounter with a Roboticizer.

BUNNIE: Hey, Kat!

She looks around and sees nobody else there.

BUNNIE: Darn! Ah must have just missed her.

She sees Kat's Sega Genesis.

BUNNIE: Ah guess Ah -could- wait for her.

Bunnie turns on the TV and notices that someone has left a game cartridge in the Sega.

BUNNIE: Sonic 3? Sounds in'erestin'.

She turns on the Sega, sits down on the floor, and begins playing.

*AT CHIPPER'S TREEHOUSE*

Chipper looks up from his book at the chime of his tele-viewer. Chipper answers it and Robo|\|erd appears on the screen.

*GANNON'S EVIL JAR*

Lawhiney and Shake'a Bake'a wake up on a cloud of pink mist.

SHAKE'A BAKE'A: Whoa! Any idea where we are, babe?

LAWHINEY: No. Keep it down, Bake'a-honey; I have a headache bigger than my head.

SINISTER MALE VOICE: (Coming from -outside- the Evil Jar) What evil flunky shall I summon for this evil scheme of mine?

LAWHINEY: Huh? (Pokes at the semi-solid mist, then taps on the glass side of the Jar) Wherever we are, it's weird!

SINISTER MALE VOICE: Perhaps some Stalfoes?

Shake'a Bake'a looks up and sees some humanoid skeletons in dark armor standing around them. Next thing he knows, the pink mist dissolves and they are not in the Evil Jar.

SINISTER MALE VOICE: Well, what do we have here? You're not -my- minions.

They look for the source of the sinister, male voice and see what appears to be a large orc with greenish-yellow skin and glowing, red eyes. He is wearing dark blue wizard-type robes. Legend of Zelda fans will recognize him as Gannon.

SHAKE'A BAKE'A: Whoa! Where are we, Mr. Evil-Looking-Pig-Faced-Dude?

Gannon scowls even more.

GANNON: I'm the most powerful, evil wizard on this world and YOU were in my Evil Jar!

What were you doing there?

LAWHINEY: Trying to sleep off a hangover.

GANNON: I am -not- amused.

LAWHINEY: Aloha, Not Amused! My name's Lawhiney. What can I do ya for?

GANNON: Grr! You're worse than my Moblins!

LAWHINEY: Thanks! I think. Um, what's a 'Moblin'?

While they were talking, Shake'a Bake'a had wandered off. He finds a wand and examines it.

SHAKE'A BAKE'A: Whoa! Weird stick!

He picks it up.

GANNON: What? NO!! You fool! PUT THAT DOWN!!!

The wand starts shooting energy bolts in random directions. A bolt breaks a glass beaker and the green stuff that was in it oozes out all over the shelf and on to the floor. Another bolt singes one of Gannon's tusks. Lawhiney dives for cover. She finds an amulet.

LAWHINEY: I wonder what this inscription says? Kuwani's been teaching me how to read; let's see if I can read this.

Gannon takes the wand away from the brown mouse.

GANNON: You little moron! I should...

Gannon's attention goes to the smoke coming from the amulet Lawhiney is holding.

GANNON: NOOOOO!!!

A large, armored figure appears as the smoke dissolves. Legend of Zelda fans might recognize it (him??) as IronKnuckle.

GANNON: Look what you meddling mice have done! Get out of here!!

He raises his arms, gestures with his fingers, and teleports the delinquent duo.

*AT ZELDA'S PALACE IN HYRULE*

Kat examines a silver arrow.

KAT: So, this can hurt Gannon, eh?

Princess Zelda nods.

ZELDA: If Kuwani fires it from her shortbow.

The Tari in question is sitting cross-legged in front of a bowl of water.

Link watches an image of the chaos that unfolds at Gannon's.

LINK: Ha! It looks like they started the party without you!

KUWANI: Oh, slime-mold!! He teleported them! I have to re-cast Detection now!

Kat frowns.

KAT: I guess we won't need -this- now.

Kat gives the silver arrow back to Zelda.

*BACK AT KAT'S LAIR*

Bunnie has reached Hydro City, Act 2. As she tries to keep 'Sonic' from getting crushed by the wall that is advancing from the left side of the screen, Bunnie gets a little too excited and yanks on the controller. This causes the main unit (to which the controller is attached) to fall off the

shelf and hit the floor. The TV screen is dominated by static.

BUNNIE: Oh mah stars!

She examines the controller. The D-pad has been pulverized and the casing is severely cracked. She looks at the main unit.

BUNNIE: (moaning) Kat's gonna -kill- me! Ah'd best try ta get someone to fix it.

She thinks about going to Mobius and getting Rotor (Knothole's resident Walrus/mechanic) to fix it, but realizes he's much too busy. She sees Kuwani's Magic: The Gathering deck on a shelf (near the one the Sega had been on) and picks it up.

BUNNIE: Ah wonder...

She looks through the deck, finds one with Gadget's picture on it, and reads it.

BUNNIE: "Summon Rescue Ranger Legend..." Hmm. Ah heard Kat say this Gadget-gal's great at fixing things. Ah hope this works.

Bunnie "plays" the card, face up, on the table. In a second, Gadget Hackwrench appears at Bunnie's feet.

GADGET: Hey! What's the big idea, Kuwani? (Gadget looks up) Golly! You're not Kuwani!

Bunnie looks around for the person who said that. She looks down and sees Gadget.

BUNNIE: Sure 'nuff. Ah'm Bunnie, an' Ah need yer help.

GADGET: What's the problem?

BUNNIE: Ah accidentally broke Kat's Sega. Can you fix it?

GADGET: Hmm. Let me examine it.

*THE WATCHTOWER*

John Carr is sitting at the JLA main computer terminal. He is the first 'civilian' member of the Justice League. He gathers information and takes care of the Watchtower while the others are away dealing with some cosmic event. (Which strangely seems to be happening a lot more frequently since the new League formed.) He also looks suspiciously like the maintainer of "The Ranger Files". Anyway, he had just finished gathering information for a case that Nightwing was working on when he decided to use the inter-dimensional scanner acquired form the Pale-Martians. He was scanning the known dimensions when he stumbled across a very interesting one. It was interesting because it existed outside of the known dimensions. It was secluded--kind of like a pocket dimension. After further investigation, he found that Gadget Hackwrench of the Rescue Rangers was in that pocket dimension along with a rabbit that looked to be half machine. He decides it might be interesting to drop in on them. He checks the chronometer and discovers, to his delight, that his watch was just about up. After a few minutes of waiting, The Flash walks (if you call -that- walking) in to relieve him.

JOHN: Hey, Wally!

FLASH: Hey, John. Where are you going?

JOHN: I decided I would take a small trip to a pocket dimension

FLASH: OK. Have fun!

John heads to the JLA's teleporters and inputs the coordinates for the pocket dimension. Just as he fades out of his dimension, Despero the conqueror somehow gets by the world's most superior security system and starts to raise hell in the Watchtower.

*KAT'S LAIR*

Gadget cleans Kat's soldering iron while Bunnie puts the case back on the Sega and tightens the screws that hold the casing in place. Bunnie then hooks it back up to the TV and plugs in the power supply. Gadget plugs in a new controller (the old one was damaged beyond even -her- ability to fix).

GADGET: Try it, now; it should work!

Bunnie, oblivious to the true implications of the phrase 'it should' when spoken by Gadget, turns on the Sega Genesis. The Sonic 3 title screen comes up.

BUNNIE: Great! Thanks, Gadget! You sure are a handy gal t' have around.

John Carr materializes behind them. Bunnie's right ear twitches and she turns around.

BUNNIE: Who th' hoo-hah are YOU?

GADGET: Are you one of Kat's normal-looking but weird friends?

JOHN: I guess you can say that.

GADGET: Where are you from, and how did you get here?

JOHN: I come from another Earth and I came here using the JLA's teleporters.

GADGET: Oh. From another dimension. That explains a lot.

BUNNIE: People from other dimensions have a habit of poppin' up here. Hey what's that, sugar?

She points to a small silcer box with the JLA logo on John's belt.

JOHN: This is what keeps me in contact with my own dimension. I also have to use it to get back home.

BUNNIE: May Ah see it?

JOHN: Sure

GADGET: I don't think that's such a good idea.

JOHN: Don't worry, it is nearly indestructible. Even Doomsday himself wouldn't be able to damage it.

The box falls apart in Bunnie's hand.

BUNNIE: Oops!

JOHN: Oh, just great! Now what am I going to do? If I don't return to the Watchtower, Batman's gonna blow his top!

GADGET: Don't worry. Kat has a workshop here; I'm sure I can fix it.

They walk into the Workshop. Gadget examines the box at a workbench. John starts to look around at all the stuff. There are boxes and crates along one wall. A shelf with various tools lies along another. There is a window (which leads to the CDRR universe) in the east wall; Kat's workbench is just below it. A silvery arch seems to be embedded in a section of the north wall. Miscellaneous parts and circuitry litter the workbench and a table. There is a curtain in the southeast corner (which covers the doorway to a storage area).

JOHN: Man, Steel would get a kick out of this place.

Soon, Gadget repairs John's device.

GADGET: That should do it!

She gives it back to John. He checks it out and is satisfied with the repairs.

JOHN: Thanks, Gadget!

GADGET: No problem!

Bunnie and Gadget hear something in the main room and investigate. Chipper had materialized into the main room. He is standing on the shoulder of a scruffy looking human teen. The teen's hands are tied behind his back and he is looking quite forlorn. Chipper jumps down.

CHIPPER: Greetings m'ladies! (bows) Where are the lovely Kat and Kuwani?

BUNNIE: No idea, sugar.

BUNNIE:(whispers to Gadget) Friend of yours?

GADGET (whispering): We've met. I think he really likes Kuwani. He's like my friend, Chip, but he's a Jedi from another dimension.

BUNNIE (whispering in reply): Oh. Sonic's had a few encounters with guys like that.

Bunnie picks up Chipper (literally).

CHIPPER: Allow me to introduce myself, I am Chipper the JediChipmunk. And who do I have the pleasure of meeting?

Chipper gives his dashing grin.

BUNNIE: Ah'm Bunnie. Why'd you bring a tied-up human here?

CHIPPER: I am performing a service for RoboNerd. This low-life is responsible for some hacking at his site. I tracked him down and RoboNerd said that Kat and Kuwani could probably think of an appropriate punishment. And, well… I would have been by here before too long, anyway.

GADGET: HE IS THE CREEP THAT MESSED UP ONE OF MY FAVORITE SITES! LEMMIE AT 'IM!

Gadget rushes at him with the soldering iron.

The teen squeals in terror and runs as best as he can with his hands tied. Gadget pursues and soon she has him cornered in Kat's workshop. John had been examining the silver arch that is embedded in the north wall of the workshop.

JOHN: What the...?!?

He trips the teen.

JOHN: Gadget, what the HECK is going on?!

GADGET (shouting angrily): HE'S THE SNOTTY JERK WHO HACKED TAOGH!!!

JOHN(shouting in outrage): WHAT?!?

Scene shifts to the Lair's main room. Bunnie's left ear perks up as she & Chipper hear John shouting.

CHIPPER: Maybe I will leave him someplace safe until they get back,--or maybe letting Gadget at him WILL be a good punishment… So, any idea where they are?

BUNNIE: Not a clue, sugar-'munk.

CHIPPER: Call me Chipper. (We hear a scream, from the workshop.) Did they leave a note or something?

BUNNIE: Ah dunno. When Ah got here, nobody was in.

Chipper & Bunnie search the Lair. Chipper spots a piece of paper on the Virtual 'Fridge in the Storeroom.

CHIPPER: What does that say?

BUNNIE: (reads paper) "Gone to Hyrule to rescue Shake'a Bake'a and Lawhiney's tails. (Another yelp is heard, this time in the hall) Be back soon if nothing goes wrong."

Gadget and John chase the blubbering teen into the Storeroom.

TEEN: I'm sorry! I'll never do it again! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease! Just get her off me!

CHIPPER: (sighs) Get her off, Bunnie, so I can teleport him to a safe, yet unpleasant, place.

Bunnie removes Gadget from the whimpering teen.

JOHN: Before you do, would you mind picking up another scummer?

CHIIPPER: Who

JOHN: Mr.X.

CHIPPER: Ah, the guestbook vandal. Heard of him; glad somebody caught him.

John hands a small microchip to Chipper.

JOHN: This has the coordinates for where I left him. Pick him up and drop him of at the same place. Just watch out for the big, gray guy with spikes; he has a bit of an attitude problem.

GADGET: You left that brickhead with Doomsday? Ha! It couldn't happen to a nastier creep! (She glares at the teen.) Except for one in particular.

Gadget slips out and makes a dash at the teen (who cringes), but Bunnie grabs her again.

Chipper uses his device to teleport the teen to the Spice Mines of Kessel (after a brief side-trip, of course). Chipper reappears. He has some black vials in his hands. He smiles and pockets them for later.

CHIPPER: Well, I'm going to see if I can catch up with the girls. A Jedi is always helpful to have around in a rescue.

BUNNIE: You do that, Sugar. Ah'm gonna see if Ah can calm down ol' Gadget-girl here.

Bunnie is turning on a hose and aiming it at Gadget while Chipper activates his device and dematerializes from the room.

*ZELDA'S PALACE--HYRULE*

Kuwani has just finished her second detection spell.

KAT: So where are they?

KUWANI: Somewhere in Saint Canard, but I don't recognize the building.

KAT: Well, we might as well get going... (An explosion is heard in the distance) WHAT in Shang Tsung's Fireballs was THAT?!?

Link looks at the image from Gannon's lair.

LINK: Some small dude is giving Gannon and his minions one heck of a fight!

KUWANI: CHIPPER! What's HE doing here?

KAT: Probably looking for you.

Kat gently elbows Kuwani. The Tari blushes slightly under her fur, but only Kat notices.

Kuwani 'slashes' the air and leaves a small trail of clawmarks, which soon spread into a 'hole'. She sticks her hand through the hole. In the first bowl, we see her hand grab Chipper and yank him through the glowing portal, which closes immediately afterwards. We now see Kuwani holding Chipper.

KUWANI (to Chipper): What were you doing at Gannon's lair?

CHIPPER: Well, (deactivates his lightsaber and hooks it on his belt) I was looking for the most beautiful Tari in the multiverse. But… (smiles) she found me first.

KUWANI: You are so cute when you're trying to flatter me, Chipper. (grins impishly.) Multiverse, eh?

KAT (rolls her eyes): *Ahem!* We ARE here for a reason! We tracked Lawhiney and Shake'a Bake'a to Gannon's Lair, but ol' pig-face teleported them to St. Canard. We have to go to St. Canard and retrieve them before they get into more mischief! Kuwani, are you gonna make a portal or do I have to Teleport us Away from here?

Chipper is now standing on Kuwani's shoulder.

KUWANI: You do it; my "tears" in the dimensional fabric might tip someone off.

KAT: Okay. (Looks at Zelda & Link) Bye, Zelda! Bye, Link!

ZELDA & LINK: Goodbye!

Kat teleports her group away.

*SAINT CANARD- FEARSOME FIVE'S HIDEOUT*

Negaduck and his fellow evildoers are counting the loot from their most recent bank heist. Lawhiney and Shake'a Bake'a appear and fall behind Bushroot's share from the robbery. Shake'a Bake'a lands on his head and is out cold. The Fearsome Five don't notice their entrance. Lawhiney sticks her head out from behind the loot and sees where she is.

LAWHINEY: Holy Krakatoa!!

She ducks back into hiding. Shake'a Bake'a is still unconscious.

LAWHINEY: And me without my BFG! First a hangover, then some stupid pig-faced sorcerer, now HIM!

LIQUIDATOR: Hey boss, when is our next heist?

NEGADUCK: Whenever I feel like it! Barely got away that time and we didn't kill any innocent bystanders!

QUACKERJACK: Well, Darkwing Duck and Quiverwing Quack...

NEGADUCK: (interrupts him) I KNOW! (Stalks away) KNOBS!

(Whether he is referring to DW and QQ or the rest of his team is unknown.)

BUSHROOT: Geez, He's Mad.

MEGAVOLT: What else is new?

Liquidator leaves because he's steamed & needs to cool off. Quackerjack leaves to use the bathroom. Mr. Banana Brain bounces behind him as Quackerjack skips out the door.

*ROOF OF BUILDING NEXT TO THE VILLIANS' HIDEOUT*

Darkwing is practicing his daring, dashing pose as he looks down upon the hideout. Launchpad and Quiverwing Quack (Gosalyn's costumed identity) are with him.

LAUNCHPAD: That arrow with the tracking device you attached to the Fearsome

Five's getaway car was a great idea, Gos.

QUIVERWING QUACK: Thanks, Launchpad! Let's get going, Dad. (nudges Darkwing)

DARKWING DUCK: I was formulating a plan. By the way, it's not a good idea to call me 'dad' when we're in costumes. Secret identities don't do much good if they aren't -secret-, you know.

QUIVERWING QUACK: Ooops! Sorry.

DARKWING DUCK: Launchpad and I will go in the back entrance. You stay here and if any villains try to escape, nail 'em with a net-arrow.

QUIVERWING QUACK: Gottcha, Darkwing. (salutes)

DARKWING DUCK: Let's go, L.P.

They race into action. Quiverwing waits 'til they are out of sight.

QUIVERWING QUACK: Yeah, right. Wait here while you guys have all the fun, I don't -think- so!

She heads toward the front entrance.

*BACK INSIDE THE HIDEOUT*

Bushroot counts his loot and notices Shake'a Bake'a.

BUSHROOT: Ack! There's a rodent in my loot!

MEGAVOLT: Hmm. Let's give it a rude awakening!

Electric-blue sparks dance between his fingertips. Megavolt reaches out and touches Shake'a Bake'a with his finger. An electric-blue spark zaps the brown mouse fully awake.

SHAKE'A BAKE'A: Eeeyow!! Whoa! What happened?!

MEGAVOLT: I just gave you a shocking experience. Hey, wait a minute! Did you just talk? Another talking rodent! The space aliens and chipmunks will be coming next!

LAWHINEY: What is he babbling about?

MALE VOICE FROM ABOVE: Read 'There and Back Again.'

Everyone looks around, trying to locate the voice.

MEGAVOLT: Yeah, what the disembodied voice said.

FEMALE VOICE FROM ABOVE: A free plug for Matt Plotecher, eh? (chuckles) Well, TaBA -is- a way cool 'fic.

Negaduck charges into the room, brandishing his favorite chainsaw

NEGADUCK: Did I just hear disembodied voices in here? I HATE THOSE! (Sees Lawhiney.) YOU!

He revs the chainsaw.

LAWHINEY: Hey, don't you need a hockey mask to go along with your chainsaw?

NEGADUCK: Hockey mask?

MEGAVOLT: A duck wearing a hockey mask? What kind of idiots would think up something like that?

FEMALE VOICE FROM ABOVE: Hey! Don't dis' the Mighty Ducks, bub!

NEGADUCK: Will you disembodied voices shut the HECK up?!?

Negaduck growls, sees Lawhiney, and revs his chainsaw again. Lawhiney looks around for cover and dives into the loot. Negaduck spots Shake'a Bake'a and grins evilly. The rest of the Fearsome Five, minus Quackerjack, have returned at the noise of all the yelling.

NEGADUCK: Come out or your friend gets it!

He raises the chainsaw over Shake'a Bake'a. An arrow strikes the chainsaw, thus knocking the blade away and causing Negaduck to loose his grip.

NEGADUCK: Who DARES!!

QUIVERWING QUACK: Quiverwing Quack dares! I'm giving you the shaft, Negaduck!

She loads two odd-looking arrows and aims them at Negaduck.

Shake'a Bake'a uses this opportunity to hide in the loot.

NEGADUCK: You? Ha! You and what army?

Just then, Kat, Kuwani, and Chipper appear behind Quiverwing.

NEGADUCK: Oh... -That- army...

MEGAVOLT: It's the space aliens and the chipmunks! SEE!? I TOLD YOU!

He hides behind the loot, and the rest of the Fearsome Five (except Negaduck) join him.

QUIVERWING QUACK: (turns) What are you guys doing here? (sees Chipper)

Chipper! Been a while! How ya doing, short-stuff?

CHIPPER: Hiya, Quiv. (smiles weakly)

Having seen Kat and Kuwani's powers from "Excessive Farce" Negaduck realizes what the odds are and opens a door beside him. Inside is a large cake.

NEGADUCK: (yells into the cake.) Oh Morg, honey! Could you come here a second?

FAMILIAR FEMALE VOICE: Oh, what do you want now?

Out levitates Nega-Morgana from the Negaverse.

CHIPPER: I've got a bad feeling about this....

KAT: How about I just do this the easy way and teleport them all to jail?

FEMALE VOICE FROM ABOVE: That wouldn't be very fun. Any ideas?

MALE VOICE FROM ABOVE: Don't worry, I got it covered.

NEGA-MORGANA: (lifts her hands and chants a quick spell.) You can try all you like, featherless freak!

KAT: (tries to teleport them) HEY! It's not working!

KUWANI: Oh great; she can cast Rune of Return. Teleportation won't do much good against her.

KAT: So we have to fight?

NEGADUCK, CHIPPER, KUWANI, AND GOSLYN: (simultaneously) I can live with

that.

They ready their various weapons/spells and the rest of the Fearsome Five (Except Quackerjack, who is mysteriously absent) emerge at the coming of a melee.

KUWAINI: I've got the witch!

GOSLYN: Negaduck's mine!

CHIPPER: (Turns to Kat) I guess the rest are ours.

A purple hat, similar to DW's, appears on Kat.

KAT: Let's get -dangerous-!

The hat is Teleported Away before they begin the fray.

Kuwani summons Rock Efreets and then casts Anti-Magic Shell. Nega-Morgana turns the Efreets into turnips and hurls energy bolts. The bolts fizzle when the reach Kuwani's anti-magic field. Kuwani grins wickedly and advances toward Nega-Morgana. Nega-Morgana hurls a fireball, but it also fizzles. Kuwani tackles her opponent and they are both lost in a cloud of dust.

Quiverwing fires her arrows while Negaduck is looking for his favorite chainsaw. The arrows spread out to reveal a net; before Negaduck can dodge, he is snared in it.

NEGADUCK: Hey, what gives? This net is -sticky-!

QUIVERWING: The better to hold twisted criminals like you, Negaduck!

Liquidator tries to attack Kat, but she pulls some boxes of lime Jell-O out of her backpack and pours their contents all over the water-based villain. Bushroot attempts to bushwhack Kat, but Chipper uses the Force to hurl some of the loot at Reggie.

KAT: Thanks, Chipper! I think I can take him now.

Kat takes a Wand of Defoliation and a pair of hedge clippers out of her backpack. Bushroot screams in terror.

Megavolt aims at Chipper.

KAT: Look out, Chipper!

MEGAVOLT: Eat hot electrons, chipmunk!

An electric-blue bolt speeds toward Chipper. The Jedi chipmunk somersaults away from it easily.

CHIPPER: Your gonna have to do better than that to get a Jedi!

MEGAVOLT: So be it… JEDI!

Instead of a bolt, this time Megavolt shoots a continuous stream of lightning. Chipper blocks some of it with his lightsabre, but more travels down the blade and slams into him. Chipper flies back, screaming. Kuwani sees this and throws Nega-Morgana out of the dustcloud and against the wall.

KUWANI (very ticked-off): HEY!! Hands off the chipmunk, Sparky!

MEGAVOLT: DON'T CALL ME SPARKY!

Megavolt turns his attack on Kuwani, whose anti-magic spell doesn't work on something natural like lightning. She manages a quick casting of "Shield" which merely blunts the effect. He starts to pour into her.

KUWANI (mumbling): Crap! I wish I had a Ring of -Electrical- Immunity right now!

Having recovered somewhat from his brief electrocution, Chipper stands up and re-ignites his lightsabre.

CHIPPER: That's no way to treat a lady!

He jumps in a Force-assisted leap across the room and slices off the prongs on the top of Megavolt's helmet. There is a bright flash and Megavolt tumbles to the ground, out of the fight. Chipper quickly reaches out with the Force to make sure Kuwani is okay, then turns to defend himself and the Tari from an enraged Nega-Morgana.

Negaduck is free of the net. He has recovered his chainsaw and he looks for Lawhiney. The mouse in question had used the confusion to sneak onto the chainsaw and sabotage it. She crawls up his sleeve.

NEGADUCK: What th..?!? Aaaagh! Not again!

He tries to swat at her through his clothing, but this doesn't do any good. She bites him a couple of times.

NEGADUCK: Ouch! Hey! Ow! Stop that!

Shake'a Bake'a comes out of hiding and trips Negaduck. Lawhiney is hurled onto a high shelf as Negs hits the floor.

NEGADUCK: (Grabs Shake'a Bake'a) Stupid rodent! I'm gonna kill you for that!

LAWHINEY: Up here, sweetheart!

Negaduck looks up just in time for a bag of loot to nail him in the noggin.

Quiverwing jumps upon the semi-conscious villain and quickly cuffs him.

NEGA-MORGANA: Come on furball! Take your best shot!

CHIPPER: A Jedi uses his power for knowledge and defense, never to attack.

NEGA-MORGANA: (stares at him for a few seconds.) Yeah… Whatever!

The dark sorceress throws a fireball at him, which he avoids by rolling out of its way. Chipper pulls one of the vials he got at Kessel from his pocket and throws it at her face. The witch smashes it with an energy bolt, but powdered spice billows around her.

Kuwani Sits up; her hair and fur are sticking out in all directions, as is Chipper's.

KUWANI: What was that? Some type of poison?

CHIPPER: Nope. Just some of Kessel's finest. She'll be feeling pretty darned good for a while. But she's in no shape to put up a fight.

KAT: I've got the plant-duck! (Holds up a defoliated Bushroot.) Anybody want some Jello? (Holds up Liquidator's reprocessed body.)

SHAKE'A BAKE'A: There's always room for Jello.

CHIPPER: We got Sparky and the witch.

NEGA-MORGANA: I feel good! na na na na na na na. I knew that I would! na na na na na na na. I feel nice! Like sugar and spice. (continues to sing "I Feel Good.")

CHIPPER: Spice is right. As long as she doesn't start singing anything by the Spice Girls…

NEGA-MORGANA: (giggles) If you wanna be me my lover, ya gotta get with my friends...

There is a collective "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRGGGHHH!" among the group.

LAWHINEY: SHUT UP!!!

The Hawaiian mouse pushes another bag of loot off the shelf. It bonks Nega-Morgana on the head and knocks her out. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

QUIVERWING: I got Negaduck! YES! (starts dancing) Score one for the Quiverwiiiiing Quack!

KUWANI: Um… Guys? Where's Quackerjack?

The back door busts open. Darkwing enters with many of Quackerjack's toy teeth attached to various parts of his anatomy. He holds up a limp Quackerjack.

DARKWING: Ok you degenerates! I got one; who's next? (He looks around and visibly deflates.) What are you guys doing here? This is MY TURF! (He sees Quiverwing.) Quiv! I told you to wait outside!

Launchpad steps up behind Darkwing and also removes toy teeth from various spots.

QIVERWING: What?! And miss all the fun?

KAT: We were just reclaiming our mice.

LAWHINEY: And -I- just got back at Negaduck! Flame ME will he?

She crosses her arms.

Quiverwing Quack runs to Chipper and picks him up.

QUIVERWING: Way to go little Jedimunk!

She squeezes him in a hug.

CHIPPER: (Gasping for air.) Gos… I am not a teddy bear!

QUIVERWING: Aw, Chipper… (stops as Kuwani taps Quiverwing on the shoulder and

sticks out her hand.)

KUWANI: Ahem, do you mind?!? Please hand over the Jedi before you squeeze the crap outta him...

QUIVERWING: Why should I?

CHIPPER: Um girls… please don't…

KUWANI: (A fireball appears in her hand.) Because if you don't I'll toast your feathers off!!

Darkwing Duck does something very unwise and stands between the two girls. He glares at the chipmunk.

DARKWING: Chipper! I taught you Quack-Fu with your promise that after I did you wouldn't horn in on my territory. And now here you are flirting with my daughter!

CHIPPER: Wait, I wasn't… I didn't… (sighs and mutters) I just can't win sometimes…

KAT: Well, actually Gos was flirting with him, not the other way around. (looks at the ceiling) And, um, -I- was the one who brought Chipper here.

The Tari mage pushes Darkwing to the side and once more holds out her hand.

KUWANI: (threatening tone)Now!

QUIVERWING: Oh, fine; here.

Gosalyn hands over Chipper. He scrambles up Kuwani's arm and hugs her neck.

Kat picks up Lawhiney and Shake'a Bake'a.

KAT: I think we should be going now. By the way Darkwing, you're welcome.

DARKWING: (who is peeling himself off the wall after Kuwani pushed him there) For what?

KAT: For vanquishing all your villains and letting you take the credit and the rest of the night off.

DARKWING: OH… Well… Yeah. thanks. Bye now.

Kat teleports herself, Kuwani, Chipper, Lawhiney, and Shake'a Bake'a back to her Lair.

DARKWING: So Quiv, you got Negaduck yourself?

QUIVERWING: YEAH! (Gives Launchpad a high-five.) Well… I had a little help from the mouse…

DARKWING: Still, not bad kiddo. Come on, let's get these guys to the police station before they wake up.

As they walk away, Darkwing mutters something about others nosing in on his turf.

*AT KAT'S LAIR*

Gadget has changed her clothes and is now wearing a white T-shirt (with the Rescue Rangers logo printed on it) and lavender shorts. Gadget is reading issue #17 of the CDRR comic. She points to a panel.

GADGET: Does my hair look -that- orange to you?

Camera pans back a bit. We see that Bunnie is sitting on the floor nearby and is reading issue #46 of the Sonic the Hedgehog (from Archie Comics). She looks up, then at the panel in question, and then looks at Gadget.

BUNNIE: Nope. Does mah fur looks -this- orange to you?

Bunnie shows her a panel from the Sonic comic.

GADGET: Well, no. But maybe that's a different you.

BUNNIE: Let's not get into alternate universes again, okay?

John looks up from an issue of JLA.

JOHN: Yeah; one 'discussion' is enough for me.

Kat and her group appear in the Lair.

GADGET: Golly, Kuwani! What happened to your hair?

Kuwani looks in the mirror and realizes it is still sticking out in every direction.

KUWANI: Wow! I didn't know that my hair could even -do- this!

Kuwani looks at herself from different angles.

CHIPPER: A close encounter with Megavolt. (Winks at Kuwani.) I think it's a good look for you-- if you like that 'fried to a crisp' look.

Kuwani glares at him briefly, then waves her hand. A silver brush appears in it and she uses it to comb her hair and fur.

Kat notices that everybody is reading her comic books & that Gadget is not wearing her usual attire.

KAT: Hey, Gadget; why'd you change your clothes?

GADGET: (looking a bit embarrassed) Well, my overalls got wet...

KAT: O-kay. I don't need to hear the details.

CHIPPER: OH! Comic books! Got any Star Wars?

GADGET: Nope. Sorry.

KAT: How did you find my comic book collection? I thought I had -hidden- it.

BUNNIE: You did, but John found them.

Kat looks at John.

JOHN: Hey, I can explain! Gadget asked...

At that moment, his JLA box beeps.

JOHN: I have to go; Batman is calling me. Hey, Bunnie why don't you tell Kat about the Sega incident.

John disappears.

Kat looks at Bunnie.

KAT: -What- Sega incident?

BUNNIE: Well, while Ah was waitin' for you t' get back, Ah played with your Genesis.

KAT: Nothing wrong with that. Anything else?

BUNNIE: Ah got a tad excited and...

Kuwani and Chipper decide that this conversation doesn't concern them. They go into the storeroom and get some drinks from the Virtual 'Fridge. Then they wander into the Kat's workshop and begin to relax when a figure in shades and winged boots flies through the silver archway at warp speed.

HERMES: Hello there! I'm looking for a Miss Kat and a Miss Kuwani.

KUWANI: I'm Kuwani. Who are you? (takes the invitation)

CHIPPER: Hermes! Messenger of the gods. Friend of Hercules.

HERMES: Hey Chipper! Nice seeing you here! Small multiverse huh?

CHIPPER: Yeah! I haven't seen you since I did some training with Philoctetes. How is Phil?

HERMES: Oh, he's great ever since Herc proved himself a true hero.

CHIPPER: Good for him! So, what's the invitation for?

HERMES: Opening night at the Ranger Coffeehouse! Isn't that just too nutty?

KUWANI: So, if you're a messenger of the gods, why are you delivering mail for the Rescue Rangers?

HERMES: Well, It gets kinda boring on Mount Olympus sometimes, and I work for other powerful forces, such as The Phantom Lord, from time to time.

CHIPPER: The Phantom Lord?

KUWANI: He's the guy who put that arch in over there. (points at the silver arch)

Hermes points down the hall. Sounds from the Sega Genesis version of 'Mortal Kombat' can be heard.

HERMES: Is Miss Kat in there?

CHIPPER: The one and only.

HERMES: Well, I'll let you give the invitation to her. See you around Chipper.

He zips out of the room through the archway.

KUWANI: Hmmmm, "…may bring an escort." (smiles at Chipper) I know who I'm bringing. (opens up her hand and Chipper jumps into it.)

CHIPPER: It would be a pleasure and an honor to escort you milady. (bows) So, how long 'till the opening night?

KUWANI: With these writers… who knows?

CHIPPER: So we have a bit of time on our hands before we need to be there…(grins)

KUWANI: (impish grin) I'm sure we'll think of some way to fill the time.

Iris out.

***CREDITS***

"A Show of Farce"

Committed by: Chip "Chipper" Lundsmark & Karen "Kat" Mollett

Aided and abetted by: John "Q" Davidson

The Rescue Rangers Expansion Pack and the "Summon Gadget" card were Mike "Monsoon" Gibby's ideas/creations.

Magic: The Gathering is the property of Wizards of the Coast.

Wolverine and Nightcrawler belong to Marvel Comics.

Gadget Hackwrench, Lawhiney, Shake'a Bake'a and all of the characters from Darkwing Duck belong to Disney.

Space Ace and Kimberly are from the game Space Ace (duh!) and last time I checked they belong to Bluth Group Ltd.

Zelda, Link, Gannon, Ironknuckle, and all other characters from 'The Legend of Zelda' belong to Nintendo.

Bunnie Rabbot belongs to Sega. And, yes, her fur -is- orange in the comic books made by Archie Comics ;) However, it ranged from brown to orangish-tan in the StH animated series. Oh, yeah; Sonic and Rotor belong to Sega, too. :)

The Flash and the Justice League of America belong to Detective Comics.

Shang T'sung and Mortal Kombat belong to Midway Manufacturing Company. And Shang T'sungs fireballs look more like skulls than balls. Should they be called fireskulls, then? :)

Jell-O belongs to…well, whoever make Jell-O!

And George Lucas' wine cellar belongs to George Lucas :D ;)