by Nancybe

As Julia walked to the Old House, she reflected on what had led her to traverse this path again after so many weeks. She had been driving home this late summer evening and had recognized that she was feeling out of sorts, but it had taken her the entire drive to realize what the trouble was: She missed Barnabas. Not just because she loved him but because he was her best friend, and they had not shared very much of their lives with each other lately. She had decided to go to the Old House to see him and to find out if his mood had improved since the last time she had talked to him.

She felt oddly nervous as she knocked on the door of the Old House. She was unaware that she had been holding her breath until she had let it out at seeing Willie open the door.

"Julia! What are you doing here?" Willie had asked in an accusatory tone.

She decided to ignore his provocative remark. "Is Barnabas here, Willie? I’ve come to visit him."

"No, he went out," he answered, and she noticed that now he seemed to be looking at her with relief. "I’m glad you’re here, Julia. I’m worried about him."

"Why?" she asked quickly, trying to ignore the guilt that was beginning to lick at the edge of her conscience.

"Well, you know how he’s been actin’ lately, all depressed and stuff. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, Julia, and, well, I called him on it. Made him talk about it. You’re usually the one to do that," he stopped and spread his hands as if to explain, "but since you weren’t here, I thought somebody oughta help him out."

"And what did he say, Willie?" Julia bit her tongue to keep from responding to the taunt she thought she had heard in his voice.

"Well, he’d been mopin’ around here so long about Angelique – "

"He should be feeling better about that by now, Willie," she interrupted.

"Yeah, I thought so, too, but just when he seemed to perk up a little, you stopped comin’ around, and then he got worse. I finally told him tonight that he had to get over her, and he said he hadn’t felt so bad about her in a long time, that he wasn’t sure what was wrong with him."

"What? He said he was over Angelique’s death? Then why hasn’t he been acting any better?" Julia asked perplexed.

"That’s what him and me tried to figure out. I started thinkin’ that he was actin’ like he was – what’s that kinda depression called, Julia?"

"Clinical depression," she answered, gradually feeling a grudging respect for Willie creeping up on her.

"Yeah, that’s it. I thought maybe he had clinical depression. Ain’t that caused by some kinda traumatic event or somethin’?"

In spite of the seriousness of the conversation, Julia had to try not to smile at Willie’s psychoanalysis of Barnabas. "It can be."

"Well, that’s what I was thinkin’. But if it wasn’t from Angelique dyin’, what coulda caused it? And then, it hit me. Imagine you was Barnabas, way back when, a rich, handsome, young guy with the whole world for the takin’. All of a sudden, your future is yanked right out from under ya, quick as a wink. And what you’re left with is worse than bein’ dead- "

"Willie," Julia interrupted in exasperation. "I HAVE imagined all of this. You’re not telling me anything I didn’t already know – "

"Oh yeah, Julia? Well, have YOU been able to figure out what’s wrong with him?" he asked smugly. With her silence as his answer, he continued, "I’m just settin’ the stage so you’ll understand where I’m goin’ with this. So, anyway, we know how Barnabas reacted to all this – he’s been obsessed with his past since I – let him out. For a long time, it was Josette, Josette, Josette."

Julia nodded absently. No one had to remind her of Barnabas’ preoccupation with recapturing Josette.

"And a’ course, restorin’ this house just like he knew it and not lettin’ me put in any modern conveniences. Easy for him, too. Does he haveta cook without electricity or go half blind tryin’ to work in the dark?"

"Willie, what is the point of this discourse?" she asked impatiently.

"Just that he’s never been able to let any of it go, Julia. And even goin’ back to 1840 musta seemed like goin’ home to him, a little. Some of the same folks he’d known were still alive. And so when he come back here after all that and Angelique dyin’ for good and his curse over, well, all his ties to the past were finally cut. There was nothin’ left to bind him to his original life. Do ya see what I’m sayin’, Julia?"

"Yes, Willie, I do." She looked at him with newfound admiration. His analysis was right on target, and she, the noted psychiatrist, had not even thought of this explanation as a possibility. She had been too close to the situation; she had blamed Barnabas’ depression all on Angelique’s death because that was how it had related to her, Julia. What a fool she’d been! "He has been grieving for the life he lost 200 years ago. It is finally lost to him forever."

"Exactly! And when I explained it to him tonight, he agreed that that was what’s been botherin’ him. But it made him look so sad, havin’ it told to him like that. I hope I did the right thing, Julia…."

"You did, Willie. You got him to the first and most important step. Now that he has faced his problem, we can work through it."

"'We’?" he asked, looking at her closely. "Does that mean you’re gonna be comin’ around again, Julia?"

"Yes, Willie, that is what it means," she answered quietly. "I thought that I was doing the right thing," she said, turning away from him. "I thought I needed to protect myself. I was so wrong! Oh, Willie, how could I have abandoned him when he needed me so much?" Her words caught in her throat as she choked back a sob.

Willie walked over to face her and gently put his hands on her shoulders, looking directly into her tortured eyes. "I understand, Julia. He’s taken so much from you in the past. You just didn’t think you had anymore to give."

She nodded mutely, and he surprised her by giving her a quick hug. "But he needs ya now, Julia. You gotta help him."

"I will, Willie. I’m going to find him right now." She stopped on her way out of the drawing room to regard him with affection. "You are a very wise man, Willie Loomis."

Willie smiled in satisfaction as he watched her turn and hurry out the front door.

MORE TO COME.

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