Disclaimers: Recognizable characters belong to Dan Curtis Productions. The rest of them and the ideas are my own. I have written this story for my own enjoyment and have received no profit for it. Etc. 

Author’s Note: This is a sequel to “Home for the Holidays Redux”.

Invitation to a Dance
 by Michelle Zafron

1972 LPT (Luciaphil’s Parallel Time)

Making his way through the corridors of Hell, Nicholas Blair rapped smartly on the door of Diabolos’ chamber. 

“Enter,” his master called in a distracted voice.

These days if one wanted to find Diabolos, the choices were limited. Every inhabitant in Hell, that is every one who mattered, knew that more than likely, one could find him parked on his throne with a clear view of the scrying mirror.

Really, thought Nicholas, he could have entered wearing a tutu and Diabolos wouldn’t know the difference.

“Careful,” his master warned. “I may be distracted but do not forget, Nicholas, I am still in full possession of my powers and I don’t think you would like to look like Anna Pavlova.”

Nicholas flinched. Diabolos was more than capable of making that come true. “Then you know why I have come.”

Diabolos spared his Vice President of Human Relations a brief glance. “You are questioning my decision to allow Angelique to remain on Earth.”

Nicholas hesitated. One second guessed the master at one’s peril. “I realize you find her antics very entertaining, but there is the question of precedent.” A month prior, Diabolos, bored out of his mind and stuck with American holiday television programming had allowed Angelique to return to Earth. The condition was simple: without the aid of her powers, in a single human day, get Barnabas Collins to repeat his declaration of love to her. The reward: release from service to Diabolos and freedom to live out her natural life with the aforementioned mortal. Fairly standard impossible bargain stuff.

Angelique had failed miserably; she had not even managed to see Barnabas Collins let alone wring a confession of love out of him. Instead within a half an hour of her arrival, store detectives accused her of shoplifting. Brewster’s Department store brought charges and the flaxen-haired nemesis of the Collins family found herself spending quality time with Collinsport’s finest.

“Precedent? Well, I suppose there is that to consider. However, there is also the question of productivity. Since her ‘conversion’ to my side, Angelique has never really fulfilled her potential. She cannot even achieve the simplest of tasks. But here.” He waved a claw at the mirror. “Here, my Angelique never fails to entertain me. She flails about miserably, unaware just how much she amuses by her ineptitude. It is true, she is not quite as unhappy as I would like, but she continues to entertain me. As far as I can see, she is much more useful to me in this capacity than she ever was ‘serving me’. So you go and tell anyone who questions my decisions, that if they care to take it up with me, I have an open door.” Diabolos turned back to his mirror.

Nicholas bowed and backed out of the room. He had done his bit, let his coworkers beard the demon in his den if they wanted.

* * *

Perry brought two steaming mugs of coffee into the bedroom. “Are you sure you don’t want me to whip up some breakfast?”

Julia shook her head. “I’m supposed to meet Barnabas for lunch.”

He nodded but said nothing.

One of Deputy Cartwright’s more sterling qualities, Julia reflected, was his ability to know when not to talk. The man was a miracle of tact. “So what are you going to do with your day off?”

“Loaf, that is I’m going to try to.”

“Is she still clinging to you?”

Perry sighed. “Ayuh. I never thought I’d be saying this, but I feel kind of sorry for her. Look I don’t want to waste our time together talking about Angelique. Are we still on for the dance?” In another rare burst of holiday spirit, the Collinsport society matrons, principally comprised of the Hadley wives, were sponsoring a Valentine’s Day Masquerade Ball.

She hesitated. The last thing Julia had intended after ending her relationship with Richard Hadley was to date another man so soon. But Perry had been fine with a no-strings fling. Going to the dance together would mean going public and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to do that. Still she had said yes before. “Of course. It will be fun.”

* * *

Unaware that she owed her continued mortal existence to her master’s inability to get cable in Hell, Angelique trudged through the snow bound streets of Collinsport to her apartment building. She stopped to readjust her hold on her bag of groceries. Despite her best efforts of decades, here she was once again fairly poverty stricken and dependent on the largesse of the upper classes.

She was surprised at how little rancor and how much gratitude she felt toward Roger Collins. Were it not for him, she would probably still be rotting in that jail. Thanks to him, the charges had been dropped and he was providing her with a moderate monthly check in exchange for her cooperation for a quick and uncontested divorce. Angelique didn’t understand his desire for that bizarre librarian but she wasn’t about to quibble with her luck.

A truck drove by and spattered her with a mixture of frozen snow and gray sludge. Rage welled up in her. If only she had her powers, that driver would learn a lesson. No, Angelique counseled herself, remember what Dr. Campbell said. “Anger is unhealthy. You need to take these things less to heart.” She did her breathing exercises and felt much better. 

Angelique turned up her street. She spotted Perry’s squad car and brightened. Things were looking up already.

* * *

“Are you ready to order yet, Mr. Collins?” Susie, the brassy-haired waitress asked. She sure hoped the answer was yes. The Coffee Shop was bursting at the seams.

Barnabas frowned. “I am waiting for someone. Dr. Julia Hoffman will be joining me shortly.”

It was on the tip of Susie’s tongue to tell him if he wasn’t going to order he’d have to leave, but something in his manner stopped her. How did you tell such an imposing guy he had to park it someplace else? “Sure thing, Mr. Collins.” Was he sweet on Dr. Hoffman now? That guy went through more crushes than a teenybopper with a raging case of puberty. 

“Thank you.”

“Oh, okay.” The waitress went off to handle a group of middle aged matrons.

Where was Julia? He still wasn’t sure how he felt about her. Since their discussion on Christmas Eve, he had made a marked attempt to achieve what Julia considered “normal” relationships with not only her but also with his family. The results had been somewhat surprising, but on the whole rather pleasant. Barnabas fought the urge to fiddle with the sugar packets; he had been raised to sit just so and not to fidget. 

Somehow in altering his friendship with Julia to a more conventional model, he had lost some of the intimacy he was used to. While he knew more about her background and family, he found himself shut out from her personal life in ways that nagged at him. He was used to visiting her whenever he chose and more importantly, he was used to her dropping everything to accommodate him. Those days were apparently gone now. 

* * *

Angelique struggled with the heavy outer door. It kept shutting on her as she tried to negotiate the handle while holding onto her bag of groceries. Finally, she got through and yelled with pain as the door handle whacked her derriere, causing her to spill her groceries. Why did being a mortal have to be so hard? 
Breathe, she counseled herself. It is not important. Remember what Dr. Campbell said. Calm down. Think positive thoughts.

She finally made it up the stairs and after dropping her keys six times opened her door. Just as she shut it, she heard Perry’s door open and to her horror, Dr. Julia Hoffman’s whiskey flavored voice bidding him an all too fond farewell. 

“I still don’t know what we’re going to do for costumes,” Julia was saying.

Costumes, why did they need costumes? Angelique wondered. Suddenly she remembered seeing a poster somewhere. Was Perry actually dating Julia? And was he going to have the bad taste to take her to the Valentine’s Day Masquerade Ball? 

“It’s not that kind of masquerade,” she heard Perry saying. “After that incident with Halloran getting drunk and ripping off Sophronia Magruder’s vintage shepherdess costume, Rosemary Hadley put her foot down. Ordinary party clothes and masks. We’ll have fun. Hey, don’t I rate a kiss goodbye?”

Angelique’s eyes flashed. Everything Dr. Campbell had said flew straight out of her head with the baby and the bath water. Here she was, trying to get her life together, trying to conform to these petit bourgeois values, trying to become a normal, well adjusted woman, trying to develop her self-esteem—not that she understood the concept, and here once again was frumpy, clinging Julia Hoffman horning in on her territory.

Couldn’t Perry see just how wrong Julia was for him? He deserved someone who could appreciate him for the handsome, intelligent and sensitive man he was, someone who could love him back passionately, someone who was young enough to give him children, someone who could make him happy, someone, in fact, like her.

Why hadn’t she seen it before? She loved Perry Cartwright! Unlike Barnabas, whose charity and kindness only showed when he wanted to impress, Perry was a fundamentally decent man. Even when she had sat shivering in his jail cell, he had been kind enough to get her a blanket and a hot meal. Who had helped her find a job? Who had helped her when the sink backed up? Who had listened to her when she needed a friend? Perry Cartwright. He couldn’t have done those things if he didn’t love her; not after all she had done to his friends. 

Well, Angelique had never shied away from a fight for her man before and she wasn’t going to start now. 

* * *

Barnabas saw Julia fighting to get through the crowded restaurant to get to him. He rose to greet her. 

“Sorry, I’m late.”

Barnabas didn’t think her words matched her tone. 

Susie came over and plunked down a place setting and a laminated menu. “Finally. Here you go.” She popped her gum and took off.

Barnabas mumbled something about the doctrine of equality being overused by the present generation, then recollected that he had promised Julia he would try and adapt. “Have you heard about this Valentine’s Day dance?” he asked casually.

“You folks ready to order?” Susie demanded.

Barnabas glared at the waitress. “No.”

“I am.” Julia placed her order and gave Barnabas a look that suggested he do the same. With almost ill grace, he complied. 

“About this dance.”

“Maybe I should have ordered the lobster roll. I haven’t had that in a long time.”

Barnabas counted to ten and tried again. “A masquerade ball is being held for Valentine’s Day. We can go together.”

“Who is we?”

“Well, naturally . . .I didn’t word that particularly well. Julia, would you do me the honor of—“

Susie plunked down bowls of clam chowder in front of them both.

Julia smiled at the look Barnabas shot the waitress. It would be interesting to see how much Barnabas tipped her, if he tipped her.

“Julia, would you do me the hon—“

“Dr. Hoffman! I thought that was you!” A cheery nurse walked up to their table. “I just wanted to thank you for convincing Bert to talk to you. He’s been so much better since he did.”

Julia responded politely, trying not to respond to the efforts of Barnabas to grind his teeth down to nothing. Finally, the nurse left.

“Julia, would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the Valentine’s Day dance?” Barnabas spat out as if he were a machine gun discharging bullets.

She crumbled oyster crackers into her chowder. “Thank you for the invitation—“

“Then you’ll come with me?”

“But I already have a date,” Julia finished as if he had not spoken. 

Barnabas said very quietly, “I see.”

He looked so forlorn that she was tempted to call Perry and plead to be released from going with him. Perry would understand. This hesitant country-dance that seemed to stand as a metaphor for her relationship with Barnabas was beginning to wear her down again. Somehow they could never get the timing right. No, she couldn’t do that to Perry. “Why don’t you ask Alicia?” Julia suggested.

“She, too, has a prior engagement.”

Julia’s regret and sympathy evaporated faster than the steam from her chowder. “That’s too bad. Well, I’m sure you’ll find someone.” She was through being somebody’s second choice. 

* * *

Perry smoothed the bedspread over the newly made bed. Out of habit, he pulled a quarter from his pocket and bounced it on the mattress. He bundled the soiled linens into the hamper. The bedroom back in order he walked into his living room, turned on the TV and flopped his lanky frame on his couch. Just as he prepared to lose himself in the mind numbing antics of any soap opera characters he could find, the doorbell rang.

“Hi Angelique. What’s up now?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you.”

Perry cursed the day he had ever taken pity on Angelique. He couldn’t explain it either. She had wreaked havoc on his territory and caused great pain to his friends and still there was a part of him that felt the need to help her out. “I’m kind of tired. Can it wait?”

“No.”

Sighing, he stepped aside. Perry noted she had yet another casserole dish in her hands. At this rate, he would never need to buy groceries again. He supposed he should be grateful that she was a good cook. “You don’t have to keep bringing me things, Angelique.”

“Oh but I like to do it. A man should have someone to look after him,” she told Perry looking around at his spotlessly clean apartment with disgust. 

He knew it was pointless to argue with her on this point. “What’s up?”

Now that she was here, Angelique wasn’t quite sure how to proceed. Oh, but he had beautiful eyes. She was tempted to just declare her love and rush into his arms. As she was still holding the casserole dish, that was not the most practical idea just now. There was nothing romantic about Boeuf Bourguignonne all over the love of your life. Besides, it was still hot and then there would be third degree burns and the need for medical assistance. She suddenly saw Julia in his arms and grew just as hot as the Boeuf Bourguignonne. “I saw Julia Hoffman’s car here earlier.”

Oh Christ, he thought. I should have seen this coming. “Ayuh. Look, I thought you were over Barnabas Collins.”

“I am!” she cried passionately.

“After all those hours we talked about this, after going to therapy with Dr. Campbell daily, you are still hung up on this guy? Angelique, he’s not good for you. Forget about him.”

“Julia loves Barnabas, Perry. Don’t forget that. No matter how many other men she sees, she loves Barnabas.”

Perry blinked. “Okay.” What was going through her head now? In the past month he had come to realize that Angelique did not process logic in the same way that normal people did.

Angelique was about to say more in the same vein when she stopped herself. All that Dr. Campbell said was not completely useless. She needed to think a plan of attack through. “Make friends, Angelique. This feeling that one person can solve all your problems is not healthy. And when you feel the time is right, you need to make amends with Barnabas.”

The time was definitely right. Angelique knew she needed an ally.

* * *

Roger rapped his knuckles lightly on Julia’s open office door. “Is the doctor in?”

She looked up. “Roger, come in.”

He carefully closed the door and complied. “I understand you’re going to the Valentine’s Dance.”

She capped her pen. “Yes. Perry Cartwright asked me.”

Roger took a seat. “Julia, I hesitate to get involved in this but I have to wonder if you know what you’re doing.” The moment the words were out of his mouth, he knew this had been a bad idea. He should have told his cousin to straighten out his love life himself. One did not intrude on Julia Hoffman’s privacy lightly.

“Did Barnabas send you?”

He debated attempting a lie and decided against it. “Not exactly. All right. He expressed some concern about you, that’s all. There isn’t a man more upstanding than Perry Cartwright.”

With an iron edged voice, she asked, “Then what is the problem?”

“Julia, I haven’t been living in a vacuum for the past five years,” he said pointedly. “I’ve never been clear on exactly what sort of relationship you enjoyed with Barnabas, but I can tell when someone cares for another person. Are you really and truly over him?”

“It’s none of your business, Roger.”

He sighed. “Normally, I would agree with you. However, I have Barnabas hounding me day and night trying to find out the names of the men you are currently seeing—“

“There have been two. That’s not a lot.”

“Oh, I agree with you. And in the ordinary way of things, I would never ask you about your love life. But Barnabas will give me no peace and I have enough problems with Liz fighting me about marrying Gertie.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him he could be concerned till the cows came home, but she knew how persistent Barnabas could be and she felt some sympathy for him. “I don’t know.”

Roger waited.

“I won’t deny that I loved him once. Maybe I still do. But I’m tired of waiting for him to grow out of his adolescent tendency to fall in love with the first pretty face he sees,” she pronounced in very definite tones. “It’s never going to happen.”

He got up. “Never is a long time, as they say. I spent a large portion of my life very unhappy and making other people equally miserable because I was too proud and too foolish to question why Gertie walked away from me. Don’t settle. You’ll just make a hash of your life the way I did.”

* * *

Barnabas sat in his favorite wingback chair, pressing his hands flat together, his face indicative of deep contemplation. What to do about Julia? What did he feel for her? He sat in this manner for some little time. Truth be told his thoughts were the usual obfuscation of logic and emotion.

That Julia had as much right as anyone to pursue other relationships didn’t occur to him. That he had often wished she would not care quite so much for him was also forgotten. Barnabas felt that Julia was cruelly abandoning him while she sought vicarious pleasure. Richard Hadley had been upsetting enough. Now Julia was keeping company with a policeman, of all people! What if this Perry Cartwright learned the truth about him? 

Barnabas raced on with his thoughts. Then there was Julia herself. Here he was asking her to be his escort to a dance, and here she was rejecting him out of hand merely because he happened to ask Alicia first. 

An altercation in his foyer interrupted his reverie. He rose to investigate.

“We don’t want ya here,” Willie hissed as he tried to throw his weight against the door.

“Willie? What is going on? Who is there?”

His faithful manservant flattened his back against the door. ‘Nobody, Barnabas.”

An all too familiar voice wafted through the cracks. “Barnabas! Let me in! It’s important! It’s about Julia.”

“Angelique!” Barnabas hesitated before coming to a decision. “Let her in, Willie.”

“But . . . but . . .”

“Willie!”

Reluctantly, Willie stepped aside to allow Angelique to enter. She shot him a disgusted look. 

“What do you have to say about Julia? We are over. I don’t feel anything for you but loathing and cont—“

“I am over you too,” she interrupted. “That’s not why I’m here. Why aren’t you and Julia involved?” Angelique demanded. “She’s loved you for years. What did you do to her? Throw her over for another brainless twit?” 

Willie and Barnabas stared at her open mouthed.

Angelique ranted on. “How could you let her go, you fool?! This is all your fault! How could you do this to me? After all you have put me through—“

“Put you through? I think it’s the other way around.”

Before Angelique could take it to the next level, Willie made a time out sign, which silenced both of them only because neither Barnabas nor Angelique understood the gesture’s meaning. “Whoa. Now wait a second. I’m kinda confused here. Why do you care about what guy Julia’s seeing as long as it’s not Barnabas?”

For once in his life, Barnabas stopped and applied impeccable logic to the situation. “Willie is right. This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Julia can see any man she likes, just not Perry Cartwright. She’s all wrong for him. She would never be able to make him happy, not like I could,” Angelique declared passionately.

“You and Deputy Cartwright?” Willie scrunched his face up like a newborn’s; he tried very hard not to laugh. It was a losing battle. Before long he was doubled over and making what Angelique considered particularly disgusting wheezing noises.

She sniffed. “And what is wrong with Perry Cartwright?”

“Nothing.” Willie wiped his eyes. “Except he’s a cop; he’s still hung up over Violet; he’s dating Julia and he sees right through ya.”

Like a leech attaching itself to the limb of an unsuspecting wader in a muddy pond, Angelique fastened on the unfamiliar name. “Violet? Who is Violet?”

Willie just waved his arm and wandered out of the drawing room.

Barnabas entwined his fingers together and looked at Angelique curiously. She was behaving all too typically. The only difference was this time someone else was the target. Suddenly his composure disintegrated. What if she decided to do something to hurt Julia?

Angelique took a deep breath and tried to go to her special place like Dr. Campbell advised. Finally, she felt calm enough to speak. “You and Julia are meant to be together. She has stood by you when anyone else would have abandoned you. But no, you keep getting your head turned by all those innocent little fools.”

“Who are you? Are you under a spell? What is making you behave like this?” Barnabas demanded. “Good Lord, Julia said therapy could work wonders but I never dreamed that the results would be like this!”

She ignored him. “Perry Cartwright is the man for me. If you care anything about Julia you will help me make him see they don’t belong together.”

“If you do anything to Julia, I will make you regret the moment you took your first breath.”

“You do love her!” she cried triumphantly. “I knew it.” Angelique grew practical. “The only way to get what we want is to work together.”

* * *

One of the most enjoyable things about Perry, Julia reflected, was his self-sufficiency. None of this business about taking a bottle of Windex and some paper towel to clean his bathroom for Perry—Julia had seen operating theaters that were less sterile than his apartment. And when Perry talked about having dinner at his place, he most emphatically did not mean picking up the phone and calling out for pizza or worse, having her show her skills in the kitchen. 

Nonetheless, Julia felt surprise at being offered Boeuf Bourguignonne as a late night snack. She sincerely hoped he wasn’t building up to something that was going to ruin this relationship. “If this was the product of a day of loafing, I would hate to see what you’re like when you’re being industrious.”

Perry looked guilty. “Angelique made this.”

Julia poised her fork in mid air. 

“I don’t think she did anything to it, if that’s what you’re worried about. I had some for lunch and I’m still okay.” When she didn’t say anything, Perry continued. “She’s a good cook. She feels grateful to me for helping her out. That’s all.”

Were all men this dense? “Perry, I realize you don’t know Angelique that well, but she is not the kind of person who spends hours of her life slaving in the kitchen day after day just to express her gratitude.”

“Well, why else would she be doing all this cooking?”

Julia looked at him significantly.

Perry reddened. “You think she’s got a crush on me?”

“It’s not that improbable. I know she hasn’t been near Barnabas in weeks. You tell me she’s constantly hanging around you.”

“Yeah, but I can see that. Angelique is new to all this, actually having to struggle along without her powers. I have to give her credit; she is really trying to give the therapy a shot. But to say that she’s got a thing for me, just doesn’t make any sense”

Julia drank some Merlot. “You are a good looking man. You treated her with courtesy even when you had reason to hate her. She has no self-esteem. None. And it’s going to take years for Dr. Campbell to get anywhere with her to build that up. She’s fastened her sights on you, Perry. You would be wise to direct them elsewhere before it’s too late.”

* * *

“I really don’t see what more I can do,” Roger protested. “I’ve talked to Julia. She knows how you feel. Julia is a grown woman in full possession of her faculties. If she wants to accompany Perry Cartwright to the masquerade ball, it’s her business. Honestly, Barnabas, you make me feel like we’re in the eleventh grade and you’re trying to get a date for the junior prom.”

Barnabas was uncertain as to how old that meant but Roger’s tone was not complimentary so presumably, it was a younger age. “I am sorry for inconveniencing you, of course,” he said stiffly.

“It’s not that I don’t sympathize but this is really your own fault, you know.”

“My fault?”

Roger peered into yet another glass case. “Where can that man have gone?” He was anxious to return home. Gertie was due at Collinwood any moment and the less time she and Liz spent together, the better. “Yes, it’s your fault. What were you thinking running after Alicia? A more rapacious, greedy little trollop never walked the earth.”

Barnabas gasped. “That isn’t true. Alicia is a lady of breeding and character.”

Roger gave an undignified snort. “Alicia is a gold digger. I don’t know why, but all my secretaries always are. She is also twenty years old,” he said pointedly.

His cousin looked unconvinced.

Roger sighed. “It’s a wonder you haven’t been stripped of your fortune by now. Didn’t you find it odd when she dropped you like a hot potato? She thinks she’s found someone wealthier in Arthur Hadley, which she has. He could probably buy and sell the both of us.” He chuckled. “Not that it will do Alicia much good. The Hadleys are not easily rooked.”

It was true that Alicia had suddenly become abrupt with him, Barnabas realized. She had seemed so charmingly naïve. 

“In any case,” Roger continued, “You should never have admitted to Julia you had asked Alicia to the dance first.”

“No, I suppose not.” Before he could say more, the jeweler returned. Barnabas found himself thinking over Angelique’s plan. Her impatience with him if nothing else convinced him that Angelique had indeed moved on. That and the fact that she kept wondering aloud what she had ever seen in Barnabas—a tad too frequently for his personal taste—supported her claims.

Had he been too hasty in declining his former wife’s offer? No. The situation called for finesse. Angelique had less of that quality than a sledgehammer did.

* * *

Anyone observing Nicholas Blair as he strode through the corridors of Hell would have assumed that he was an entity without a care in the universe. They would have been wrong. His calm exterior hid his extreme irritation at having been yanked out of a promising seminar on finding new ways to fool with the minds of humans to answer a summons to his master.

“Nicholas! Get in here!”

“Yes, master. What is it that you required?” He noticed that Diabolos was not alone in the main chamber. Clustered around him were a varied group of demons and minions.

Diabolos dramatically pointed a claw to his view screen. “What in the name of all that is evil, is Angelique doing?”

Obligingly, Nicholas turned his attention to Angelique’s antics. “I’m not quite sure. That appears to be a hammer. But why . . . “

“That’s why I summoned you, you fool. You’ve spent decades on that miserable surface. Don’t you know?”

“My goal was to corrupt mankind, not to study American plumbing,” Nicholas said defensively. “It makes no sense that she would be whacking it in that manner though.”

One of the demons suddenly pointed at the mirror. “Whatever she is doing, she appears pleased.” She frowned. “This isn’t like her at all. She’s filthy and you know how Angelique hates to have a hair out of place.”

Despite himself, Nicholas could not take his eyes off the spectacle of Angelique smiling in triumph as water spouted out of her sink. “Master, I think if I saw a little more, I might be able to explain her odd behavior.” 

* * *

A tired Julia Hoffman walked toward her office at the hospital. She could cure vampirism but not devastating illnesses like schizophrenia and paranoia. A long day trying to help apparently hopeless cases left her feeling defeated. How was she going to manage this ball tonight?

She found Barnabas waiting for her. “I have a lot of work,” she began.

“What I have to say won’t take long,” he promised. “I merely came to apologize for my behavior at the Coffee Shop.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He shook his head. “Once again, I took you for granted. I should not have done that. A gentleman should not treat a lady in such a manner.”

Julia had to admit it. She was touched. How often had she longed to be on the receiving end of his very selective gallantry? Had he ever even done her the courtesy of referring to her as a lady?

“I expect I shall see you at the ball. Will you do me the inexpressible honor of granting me a dance?”

Julia nodded. 

“And now I shall leave you to your work.” Barnabas bowed from the neck and departed.

Damn it. How was she supposed to remain detached when he went and pulled a move like that? Julia could feel hope rising; she tried to keep it down. Just wait, she counseled herself, some sweet young thing will come along and he’ll forget all about me, yet again.

Was it really possible to teach herself to stop loving him? Somehow Barnabas was always there, even when he was physically elsewhere. His spirit had haunted her relationship with Richard Hadley to the point where Richard could no longer stand it. Things with Perry seemed to be working primarily because they were both hung up over other people and understood just how much the other was willing to commit to their affair.

So now where did this leave her? Julia was damned if she knew.

* * *

Perry was at his desk typing up reports when his phone rang. “Hello.”

“Perry! You have to come here and help me!”
Christ, she was the last thing he needed today. “Angelique, I’m working. What is it?”

“Water is shooting out from the plumbing underneath the sink! It’s everywhere!”

“Calm down,” he counseled. “Call Jerry. He’s the landlord and he can—“

Angelique interrupted. “He won’t come. I already tried him. Please, Perry, I don’t know what to do.”

The deputy rubbed his temples. “I’m not a plumber, Angelique.” God, he could practically see her lips trembling. “All right. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He hung up the phone and thought a moment. He had planned on changing at the police station and swinging by Collinwood when his shift was over. He picked up the receiver.

Julia answered on the second ring. “Dr. Hoffman speaking.”

“Julia, it’s Perry. I’ve got an emergency. My mother is probably rolling in her grave—a gentleman should pick a lady up for a date—she always said but can I meet you at the dance?”

She laughed softly. “It’s not the end of the world. That should work out fine. I’ll get a ride with Roger or Quentin and meet you there.”

“Great.” He hung up and then went about the tiresome task of finding someone to take over the rest of his shift.

* * *

The group around the scrying screen in Hell had grown larger. 

“Do you think the old girl can pull this off?” Azriel whispered to Nicholas.

“That depends. Her scheme, if I understand it correctly, is not very subtle. Dr. Hoffman can be a formidable opponent.”

Diabolos pounded the arm of his throne. “If you want to see this, I will have silence!”

One of the demons who was more or less an equal to Diabolos laughed. “We’re not exactly interrupting anything right now. Let’s see an image of the Hoffman woman and check out Angelique’s competition. I confess, too, I am anxious to see the mortal woman who has foiled Nicky’s plans so many times.”

Nicholas resisted the urge to defend himself. 

Diabolos waved a digit and allowed everyone a momentary glance of Julia Hoffman in her ball gown.

“Not bad,” Azriel admitted. “She’s no raving beauty but she does have good bones.”

Nicholas nodded. “That dress is quite flattering on her.”

A minor minion disagreed. “She isn’t a patch on Angelique.”

“No,” Nicholas admitted. “But I don’t refer to her as ‘the inimitable Dr. Hoffman’ for nothing. Angelique has never been able to best her before.”

“Now,” Diabolos said in a deceptively calm voice. “Everyone pipe down.” He waved again and everyone was treated to the sight of Angelique now in a thin shift and affecting a carefully disarranged hairstyle. “And so it begins.”

* * *

Slowly but steadily, the ballroom of Hadley House was filling up. One of Collinsport’s social events of the year, the Masquerade Ball was justly popular with the townsfolk. The Hadleys did not stint when they threw or helped to throw a party. One could expect good, plentiful food and drink, decent music and a damned good time.

In the ordinary course of things, Julia would have arrived much later. Regrettably, she had been forced to go early. Gertie was on the committee and needed to be there to see that all went well. So now she was trying to stay the hell out of the committee and Richard Hadley’s way by professing feigned interest in the undoubtedly genuine Old Masters on the ballroom walls.

Her mask itched and would provide no real protection against anyone who wanted to find her.

“Good evening Julia”

She whirled around, her deep green skirt twisting as she did so. “Barnabas.”

“You look lovely. Where is Deputy Cartwright?”

“He had an emergency. Did you come with anyone?”

Barnabas shook his head. “The only woman with whom I cared to attend this function was you. Oh, I know I asked Alicia to go, but I have since realized the error of my ways. May I keep you company until your escort arrives?”

What harm could it do? “Thank you. I should like that.”

* * *

“Damn it! What did you do?” Perry yelled as he desperately tried to stop the torrent of water.

Angelique was too busy admiring the way his sopping wet police uniform clung to his muscular frame. 

“It looks like you hit this with a hammer.” 

She grew flustered.

“You did hit it with a hammer, didn’t you?”

“Only to stop the leak,” she lied. “I was trying to fix it myself.”

“Okay.” He rose to his full six and a half feet. “It’s time we had a talk.” Julia was right. If he let this continue, it would be unmitigated disaster.

Angelique refused to budge. Now the water was drenching her as well. “I’d like that,” she told him raising her blue eyes to his face.

Perry tried not to notice the thinness of her shift, growing more transparent with each second. “Angelique, I think you have a lot to offer the right man. But I’m not that guy. You have to work on getting your act together first before you should even think about romance.” Christ, but she had a great figure.

One of Angelique’s greatest strengths or weaknesses, depending on who was analyzing her was her ability to ignore everything but her goal. In this instance a puddle of water helped her along. She moved forward intending to dispute this and quite without meaning to, she slipped and fell on Perry sending them both crashing to the linoleum floor.

* * *

Julia stood talking to Eliot Stokes trying not to feel uneasy about this debacle. She checked the clock unobtrusively and wondered just where the hell Perry was. Although this was ostensibly a town affair open to the public, the stamp of the Hadleys was everywhere. Not only was it in a Hadley property but seeming dozens of the family swarmed everywhere. Therein lay the problem.

The Hadleys had disapproved of her relationship with Richard Hadley. While they felt gratitude for her actions years ago that saved Richard’s life and kept the police from discovering the source of their wealthy, this sentiment did not extend to her marrying into their clan. Edith Hadley had a particular bride in mind for her distant cousin and the lady was not Julia Hoffman. 

When she had ended her relationship with Richard, Julia assumed that the polite but frigid stares would end. Unfortunately the Hadleys, while not wishing her as an in-law, were appalled that she should be so ungrateful as to dump one of their own. It was in fact, a classic catch-22.

What Julia did not get was the fact that she seemed to be getting the cold shoulder from virtually everyone. They couldn’t all be related to the Hadleys, or could they?

Oblivious to the undertones, Eliot excused himself. She scanned the room for Barnabas. She saw him pinned up against a wall being talked at by that peculiar old lady in the black bombazine dress and pink tennis shoes. 

“I should have warned you,” Gertie said in her ear in an apologetic voice.

Julia turned around. “Warned me about what?”

“About how everyone was going to react to you. Where is Perry anyhow?” 

“He had an emergency he had to deal with. I suppose it’s all about Richard Hadley,” Julia said, sighing.

Gertie snagged two glasses of champagne from one of the weedy looking waiters. “That’s a small part of it. Your big mistake was going out with Perry.”

“Don’t tell me—he’s a Hadley by marriage, right?”

The librarian laughed. “No. But they want him to be. They still consider him Violet’s property. And most of them are hoping they get back together.”

Julia considered this. “That makes sense, I suppose. But why are all the villagers treating me like I have cholera?”

Gertie sipped her champagne. “Perry is a native.” She lowered her voice. “By now, you must have realized that we’re not as ignorant about what really goes on here.”

Julia nodded. It had been quite a revelation to her to learn just how unnecessary their attempts at secrecy were.

“Perry feels very protective about Collinsport. He tries very hard to keep everything together, which given all that goes on at Collinwood, is not an easy task. The locals would rather see him stay away from anyone who lives at Collinwood.”

Julia digested all of this. So much for an uncomplicated fling. Roger came and claimed his fiancee for a dance. She needed to get out of here. She could handle being a pariah but that didn’t mean she had to stick around.

* * *

“Ow! Damn it! Angelique, stop it!” Perry tried to peel her off of him.

Angelique pouted. This was not going as she had planned, not at all.

Perry gave the pipe another wrench. “Finally. Let’s get this cleaned up.” 

They worked in silence, mopping up the pools of water. Perry’s uniform clung to him like a second skin. Angelique’s hair lay plastered to her face. Her dress was now completely transparent.

“The next time you want to talk to me, do not, I repeat do not try and wreck your plumbing. How old are you anyway? What the hell made you try this sophomoric scheme?”

Defensively she cried, “I tried that. You wouldn’t have come over if I just asked you too. You were all set to go to the dance with Julia. Why you want to be with that dried up old maid is beyond me!”

“God, you just never quit, do you?” Perry thundered. “You come into my town and raise hell! You hurt my friends! People who never did anything to you! Do you know how long it took Tony Peterson to straighten out the mess you left him in? Gertie and Roger were happy until you came along and decided you needed to marry him. I mean Roger is a snob but what did he do to deserve you? Do you have any idea of what it did to Gertie to watch you turn him into a zombie? And for what?!”

“How dare you!”

Perry took a step closer to her. “How dare you! You are the most infuriating, logic deprived, insane, deranged, nutcase I have ever seen! You stay the hell away from me and my town! Do you get that?!?! If you ever even so much as—“ He broke off and grabbed her by the shoulders. Angelique stared up at him clearly not even hearing a word he was saying. Without knowing why, he suddenly found himself kissing her with furious passion. 

* * *

The band had moved away from some of the more ambitious modern numbers into Gershwin’s “A Fine Romance.”

“Would you care to dance?” Barnabas asked. “I think I can manage this one.” His previous attempts had been foiled by the musical choices. Swing dancing, the Twist and the Watusi, were beyond his capabilities. “I’m sorry about before. Mr. Russell would not be put off. I finally had to be quite rude with him. And then Miss Crawley insisted on sharing her predictions for the future.” He frowned. “Shall we?”

“Thank you, I would like that.” 

In the movies, Julia reflected, they would have danced divinely. They would have gazed into each other’s eyes and all the resentments and hurts would have melted away. Naturally the reality didn’t live up to that. Barnabas moved diffidently, still unfamiliar with the steps; her bare skin tingled at his touch. They looked and felt awkward. But somehow as they tried to relax, it also felt right.

* * *

A contented hush fell over the crowd in the throne room. The Barnabas and Julia scenes that Nicholas insisted on watching would have bored them to tears had they been able to cry, but Angelique’s self-destructive behavior provided them with the entertainment more to their general taste.

“Master?” Nicholas began hesitantly. He cleared his throat. “Will you allow Angelique to continue her stay on Earth?” 

Diabolos was still chuckling. “Of course! This is going to be most amusing. This Perry is much more intelligent than Barnabas Collins ever was. And I am anxious to see his old flame lock horns with Angelique.”

He was never going to dispute the power of television again, Nicholas realized. Here he was quite anxious to see how it all turned out.

Azriel remarked thoughtfully. “Now I know why you didn’t want to leave Collinsport. Such an exciting little town.”

* * *

The End