Hopscotch

Mary-Lynn Allard
September 18, 2002

Julia put on her gloves and sunglasses, and looked around for Barnabas, who according to Mrs. Johnson, was waiting for her outside. Through the trees, she could hear Amy's light clear voice answered by Barnabas' rougher, lower tones, and she followed the sounds to the driveway. There on the pavement, Amy had marked out a slightly crooked outline for the game of hopscotch.

“You can't let your stone touch the lines,” Amy told Barnabas as she threw her stone into the box marked 6. “And except for where the boxes are side-by-side, or of course Sky Blue, you can't have both feet down at once.”

Breathless as she hopped the length of the grid to stand and turn on the end square, home, safety, Sky Blue, she continued, “This is Sky Blue. You can stand here all you want, and then you have to go back and get your stone…”

She put the words into motion, hopping back, her long red curls bouncing behind her, stopping before the square with her stone in it. Balancing carefully, still on one leg, she picked up her stone and then continued to the end. Done, she turned and with little hesitation threw her stone again toward number seven, and then sighed. “On the line.”

She picked up the stone and put it back into the seven square. “It's got to stay there until I can earn it myself. Your turn, and you can't step in my square either.”

She looked around and finding a nice flat stone on the ground picked it up. “Here. You need a stone.”

Barnabas looked startled. Slowly he took the stone from Amy's outstretched hand.

Taking pity on him, Julia approached the pair, not even trying to hide her amusement. “What are you two up to?”

Amy's face fell. “I guess you've got to go now.” Trying to smile brightly, she added, "Happy Birthday, Dr. Hoffman." And then her face fell again. "Have a good time."

Surprising Julia, Barnabas took off his Inverness and put it on a nearby tree stump. “I’m sure Dr. Hoffman won't mind if we finish our game first. If we ask nicely." He smiled over at her. "Please.”

With a hopeful look Amy added her voice to Barnabas’ and grinning, Julia nodded.

Barnabas turned and easily threw the stone onto the first square, and then with an agility that surprised both females, navigated the course, hopping over the two squares holding stones and after barely stopping at Sky Blue, hurried back. He repeated this until breathless and with just a hint of perspiration on his forehead,, he finished, the winner.

Bowing to Amy, who was looking at him in adoration, and offering her a return match in the undefined future, he took up his coat again, putting it over one arm instead of putting it back on.

“I forgot how much effort that could be,” he said to Julia as he offered her his free arm.

“Where did you learn to play that?” she asked.

"Hopscotch is a very old game. I used to play it with Sarah."

He was quiet a moment, and then he said, "I think you must have been very like Amy, when you were a child.”

Julia stopped and turned around. It wasn't just the red hair that Barnabas was referring to, and Amy didn't have Julia's hazel eyes that changed color with her mood. Having lost the game, Amy had begun at square one again. A solitary child, she was far too serious and old for her age. For a moment Julia, too, saw herself as a child, and now.

Barnabas urged Julia and she turned toward him and they walked toward his car.

~*~

At the restaurant, Barnabas seemed edgy. More than once he had stolen a peek at his watch. And several times when Julia looked into his eyes, she found his eyes looking toward the door behind her. “Are you waiting for someone?”

Barnabas, all attention on her at once, shook his head. “Why would I be looking for someone else, when I am here with you?”

Julia looked at his eyes, no hint of the vampire he used to be, his eyes were clear and brown, and they were twinkling. “You’re up to something,” she teased.

Barnabas gave a mysterious smile and put all his attention on her. “How well you know me.”

They had grown closer. More than once in the last few months, she had felt that they were on the brink of something, but she had felt that before and each time Barnabas had turned away from her toward someone else. Lifting her chin in semi-mock distrust, she repeated, “You’re up to something.”

Just as Barnabas was denying that he was playing some game of his own, oohs and ahs from neighboring tables caused Julia to turn around. A waiter approached, wide grin on his face, carrying a small cake with a sparkler sizzling on top of it.

Barnabas reached over and touched her hand. “It should have had a candle, and then you could have made a wish.”

With the sparkler having grown cold, Julia took it out of the cake, and laid it aside to cut it in two, a piece for each. “I got my wish when the waiters didn’t gather around the table to sing Happy Birthday to me.”

Barnabas smiled. “You got out of it this time, but I warn you, Mrs. Johnson intends on having a cake ready for you when we get home.”

As he ate a piece of the cake, he asked, “What will you wish for?”

Julia felt herself growing warm, and hoped that she wasn’t blushing. About to answer him with a standard, “It won’t come true if I tell,” she was interrupted by Barnabas suddenly dropping his napkin to the table next to his plate. “Excuse me a moment, Julia. I’ll be right back.”

Julia watched him go toward the men’s room and with the abruptness of his leaving, wondered if he was unwell. Deciding now was a good time to freshen up, she picked up her purse, but as she was about to stand she saw that Barnabas hadn’t gone to the restroom, but had gone to the entryway of the restaurant. Puzzled, she watched for he seemed to be talking with someone. What could he be up to, and was whomever he was talking to the one he seemed to be waiting for all evening? Settling down to watch, without looking like she was watching, Julia waited until Barnabas moved slightly. She felt an ache near her heart, as she saw that he was talking to a woman, and not just any woman. It was Maggie Evans.

~*~

Barnabas smiled, and Maggie smiled. She gestured, and he smiled again. She put a hand on his arm, and he grinned. She handed him something small, but not too far away for Julia to not to see that it was a velvet box with the jeweler’s name on it, and then he hugged her. And then Maggie was gone.

Stunned, Julia turned back to her plate. For the rest of the meal, Barnabas’ attention was on her. No more looks toward the door. He had been expecting Maggie. But it didn’t make sense. If he wanted Maggie to join them, why hadn’t he said so? Maggie was going to be at Collinwood when they got back, so why meet him here? Well she knew all the signs. She had seen them before. Barnabas was in love, and it looked like Maggie returned it.

Julia listened with only half an ear as Barnabas talked about vague plans for the future, as she thought about her own future. Should she fight for him? She’d only make embarrass both of them. Should she try to attract him? Wear softer clothes, more feminine styles, maybe change her perfume? Or if she was going to change, what about bigger changes, be more clingy? After all, whenever she was sick or in danger, Barnabas reacted by taking care of her. No, in that area she was as stubborn as Barnabas, she wanted to be loved as she was. She could leave Collinwood. She had been offered a job in California and had turned it down. They refused to take no, saying she should think about it for a few days, after all she was free wasn’t she, no family ties? She had told them no, all the time thinking of Barnabas and wishing he was a family tie.

She looked at Barnabas, his eyes full of concern. “Julia, are you all right?”

Realizing that she had been caught daydreaming, she took a deep breath. Knowing she had decided her future, she answered, “I’m fine. I was just thinking about how nice this day has been, how wonderful it was to have made a home at Collinwood.”

Barnabas took her hand over the table. “You talk like you were leaving.”

Julia shook her head, her hazel eyes green with emotion. “No, I can’t picture my future anywhere but here, or rather there at Collinwood.”

For a moment they shared a smile.

~*~

The rest of the evening was to forever remain a blur in Julia’s mind. Cake, lit candles, a birthday song sung with more love then tune, a wish that she couldn’t remember wishing, and then presents. Presents from everyone but Barnabas.

Julia tried not to care. But when Maggie got called away to the phone, and the party began to break up, David and Amy off to bed, Carolyn on a date, the others debating whether to play a game of cards, Julia was relieved that it would all be over soon.

She went out to the foyer, and Maggie was standing, pale, holding the phone. “I’ve gotten a call from Wyndcliffe…”

“Wyndcliffe?” Julia echoed.

Maggie looked at her, awe on her face. “It’s Joe, he wants to see me.” She turned to the door, where Barnabas, Roger and Elizabeth stood. “I’ve got to go to him. Roger, could you take me?”

Roger raised his eyebrows. “I would but my car is having brake trouble. Barnabas, you could take her, couldn’t you?”

Maggie looked at Barnabas and exchanged a look with him. He looked back at Maggie with something in his look that Julia couldn’t quite read. She had exchanged many such a look with him, and knew that whatever they were talking about, wasn’t going to be in their words.

Barnabas turned to Julia. Was that regret in his eyes? And then he turned back to Maggie. “Of course I’ll take you”

Maggie smiled. “Thank you, Barnabas.” Suddenly it was as though a light went on inside her. “I left my jacket in the old schoolroom when I was cleaning out my things. Perhaps you could go with me to get it.”

Barnabas nodded, and they disappeared and were a long time in returning. Julia pictured them alone in the schoolroom, in the dark, touching, whispering, doing the things that she most yearned for between herself and Barnabas, and then roughly pushed the thoughts away. She would have to get used to the change around here, and as the younger set said, get over it.

When they finally returned, Barnabas pulled her aside. “I’ve been wanting to tell you something all evening, and ask you something. It’s very important.”

Not sure she wanted to know what Barnabas wanted to say, and to ask, Julia patted his arm. “It will have to wait until tomorrow.”

Barnabas did have regret in his eyes. Did he hate hurting her so much? Then why did he have to hurt her? Her thoughts so strong, she almost didn’t hear his voice as he spoke softly to her. “It can’t wait. I had a birthday gift planned…”

Roger called out to Barnabas, “Maggie should be going.”

Barnabas gave Julia a reluctant smile. “I wouldn’t have chosen to go, not just now. You’ll understand later. Happy Birthday, Julia.” He leaned down and softly kissed her on the lips. Without thinking, Julia responded, kissing him back. If this was to be their one and only kiss, she was going to make it a memory worth remembering.

Then remembering that Maggie was watching, Julia broke away, looking guiltily around, but Maggie had already gone out to the car, and the only one watching was Roger, mouth and eyes opened wide.

“I never…” he gasped.

“It had better stay that way,” Barnabas warned as he passed, him in tones so low that only Roger could hear.

~*~

Julia closed the door to her bedroom, and leaned back against it. It wasn’t her worst birthday, not even the worst one she had since she had been at Collinwood. Actually, if it weren’t for finding out about Barnabas and Maggie, it would have been one of the best birthdays in her life.

She thought of how promising the evening had started, Barnabas and Amy playing Hopscotch. He would make a good father and she could see him playing with his own children, dark hair like his, the boys tall and strong like all Collins men.

She stepped away from the door. Well it was her turn to play again and it was back to square one. It wasn't the first time she had to start over again with Barnabas, and it probably wouldn't be the last. Loving Barnabas, all the good and the bad that came with it, was the life she had chosen. She frowned as she realized that the fire was still glowing in the fireplace. Surely the wood she had placed into it so many hours ago would have been ash by now. She reached her bedside table and was about to turn on the light, when she saw in the firelight that her bed was turned back and that there was something on her pillow, a rose. She lifted it, and saw a piece of folded paper under it. Inhaling the scent of the flower, rather than turn on the light, she took the note over to the light from the fire, and opened it. Seven little words. The thing that Barnabas wanted to tell her, and the question that he wanted to ask. Not square one, after all, she had reached Sky Blue.