HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MR. HOFFMAN

by Nancybe

 
     




~~~Fall, 1990~~~

Julia awoke to a cool morning sun teasing her to awaken and leave the seductive comfort of sleep to the night. She smiled drowsily as she regarded the man beside her and remembered what day it was. Her husband slept on, his breathing slow and regular as the sunlight washed over his still handsome face and predominately dark hair. Julia pondered the inequities of life - her own red locks now had considerably more than a sprinkling of gray - and wondered why men always seemed to age more gracefully than their wives.

She moved closer to him to place a tiny kiss on his mouth and to awaken him in the same way she had on each of their nineteen anniversaries.

"Happy Anniversary, Mr. Hoffman," she whispered with a hint of laughter in her voice.

Barnabas reluctantly opened his eyes and smiled softly. "Happy Anniversary, my darling Julia," he murmured in the voice that still made her melt. He pulled her to him to continue the anniversary tradition that they had established so many sweet years ago....



~~~Late Summer, 1971~~~

Julia had waited patiently since their return from 1840, as patiently as she always had for Barnabas. Since their sojourn to 1995, she had finally allowed herself to hope that Barnabas had feelings for her. The way he had spoken to her that day at the Old House (the day she had almost gotten him killed thanks to Gerard's influence), the way he had looked into her eyes and held her - she couldn't forget any of it. She could still feel the sensuous way his hands had traced circles on her back. And then before he had "discovered" that he had always had feelings for Angelique, there had been his desperate attempts to find his way back to her in 1840, his panic at finding her near death in the lighthouse. Had she imagined what she had seen in his face, what she had heard in his voice? Had she imagined all of it? Now she had just about convinced herself that she had....

She had waited anxiously to see Barnabas' state of mind once they had returned to the present. He had been devastated by the loss of Angelique before they had left the past, but to her relief, in 1971, those emotions seemed to stay locked 130 years in the past - distant, musty, forgotten feelings that crumbled easily under the weight of reality. He rarely spoke of his dead wife and when he did, he seemed to regard her as he always had, with disdain and anger. And gloriously, his vampirism had not returned to haunt them either. He was finally a mortal man with his first real chance at completing the life that had been interrupted and denied him nearly two centuries before.

And so she had waited, waited for him to figure out where she fit into his life now - and yet, nothing had changed. Summer was soon to fade into autumn, and she felt her hope slipping away with the warm breezes, hope that would soon fall away from her like the leaves that would lose their lifelines to the trees to which they clung. Hope slowly and painfully losing its bright color, fading and dying until she would be left as bleak and bare as the molting behemoths that grew in the forests around Collinwood. She felt patience turning to despair and knew that her only hope for survival was to leave him.

Thus she had made inquiries about positions at hospitals and universities across the East Coast. Many attractive possibilities awaited her decision, but she didn't trust her judgment at the moment. She needed a place to clear her head - a place unlike Collinsport - somewhere that would not remind her of Barnabas. And so she made arrangements to spend a month in the Virgin Islands to think and to heal. But first, she knew that she had to tell him goodbye.

The scene between them had been blessedly brief. He had been surprised at her announcement, surprised that she was leaving so abruptly, perhaps a little hurt that she had not shared her plans with him before. Why didn't you tell me you were thinking of a new position, Julia? Why do you want a new job, a new location?

She had tried to pass it off as fatigue after the past four grueling years of time traveling and fighting creatures that were only supposed to exist in legend. I need a change, Barnabas, that's all. I need to rest. Or maybe Collinwood is too dull now, too peaceful after the likes of Gerard, she had joked with what she had hoped was a convincing laugh.

In the end, he had been very quiet but had said that he understood. He had thanked her again for all of her help through the years and had walked her to the door. She had managed to remain calm as they said goodbye and as she walked out of the Old House for the last time. Her whole being screamed for him to try to stop her, but she knew that he no longer had a reason to do so.


The woman who walked along the shore of the nearly deserted beach dug her hands deeper into the pockets of her navy blue cover-up as if the action could protect her from the emotions that tore at her. Deep in thought, her eyes were trained on the sand below her feet although they occasionally strayed to the far-off horizon which continued to deepen into the vermilion hues of dusk as she slowly trudged along. The warm breeze kissed her bronzed skin like an amorous lover, wrapping her titian hair around its fingers and whipping it into a frenzy; she had long before stopped fighting that losing battle and just let the wind have its way with her. The sand beneath her was rapidly cooling as the sun withdrew its affections for the day to make room for the eventual cold caress of moonlight.

A trio of gulls screamed, and Julia looked up in surprise as a full shadow suddenly crossed her path. The face from her fantasies stood before her, a face bearing a tentative smile and yet still haunted by loss.

"Barnabas!" she gasped, her hand flying by old habit to grasp together the collar of the fluttering cover-up.

"Julia...."

"Barnabas, what are you doing here?"

His eyes were dark and deep as they always were when he was struggling with turbulent emotions. "I've come to ask the same of you. Why are you here, Julia? Why did you really leave me?" His voice was low and tortured, and she had to force herself to meet his gaze.

She no longer had the energy for pretense or even for self-protective deception. They were half a world away from Collinwood where lies and secrets reigned supreme. This setting- this warm, open, tropical paradise - seemed to demand honesty, and so she gave him the true answer to the question he had traveled so far to ask. "I couldn't do it anymore, Barnabas," she said in a half-whisper.

He stepped closer to her. "Do what anymore, Julia?"

She looked away from him and slowly shook her head. "Pretend. I couldn't pretend anymore - that I was just your good friend, that it didn't hurt to be near you. I needed more, Barnabas, more than you are able to give me. I couldn't wait anymore. I had nothing left, not even hope. So I had to leave."

She looked up into his face which was painted with the fading glow of the sunset. She was astonished at her own honesty, at how freely the truth had flowed from her. And then she realized why it had been so easy - she no longer had anything left to lose. But it still hurt enough that she had to fight to keep the tremor from her voice and to keep her eyes from clouding with tears.

Barnabas reached out and gripped her shoulders with strong fingers. His eyes penetrated hers, and his voice was riveting. "You're wrong, Julia. I am able to give you what you need. Everything that you need."

"Barnabas, I-"

"When you left, Julia, a chasm opened up in my heart, and I could find no way to fill it. No way except to find you again and tell you that I love you." He stopped then, his words lingering on the sultry breeze before being carried out on the tide. He anxiously searched her expressive eyes for the look that used to live there, the look reserved only for him. "Please tell me that your love for me hasn't died," he pleaded, tightening his grip so fiercely that he almost lifted her off the ground.

She was silent a moment, lost in the intensity of his gaze, overcome by her awe at his revelation.

"Of course I still love you," she finally whispered, unable this time to keep her voice even. "You are a part of me, Barnabas. The best part of me." And now she truly could not see clearly through her tears.

The enormity of her love for him struck him anew, and he could not prevent tears from filling his own eyes. He gathered her to him and pressed warm lips against her salty, ocean-kissed mouth. Their first kiss - slow, sweet, inviting - drew them into each other until they had to stop and remind themselves to breathe.

"Oh, Julia," Barnabas said, tenderly stroking her cheek, "I felt so lost without you. The Old House was so empty, colorless, as if all the life had been drained from it. I could hardly wait to find you, to tell you how I felt. Julia, I'm so sorry I was blind, that I hurt you so much...."

Julia looked deeply into his eyes. "You really are sorry, aren't you, Barnabas?" she murmured.

"Yes, yes, my darling. There are so many ugly and hurtful things in our past. I want to start anew with you, Julia, to make it up to you, to try to forget all the pain and sorrow we have shared. Will you allow me to do that?"

She shook her head slightly. "Barnabas, what we have been through together has helped shape our relationship with each other. We can't erase our past or forget it, and we shouldn't try. We must accept it and move on to a new and better life."

"You are an amazing woman, Julia. And speaking of a new life..." He paused as he felt in his pocket until he found the object he had placed there. He took hold of her hand, and she felt him press something hard and smooth into it - a chestnut colored conch shell the size of her palm.

"I found this shell on the beach, and it reminded me of you - beautiful, exotic, its loveliness the result of its strength. This shell has been exposed over and over to the harshest of elements - sun, surf, sand- and its refusal to be destroyed by any of those adversaries has only polished it and made it more beautiful. That is you, Julia, beautiful, strong, always there despite the obstacles."

Julia, amazed at these never before spoken sentiments, gazed at the conch, running her fingers over its smooth surface which was still warm from its nestling in Barnabas' coat. She turned it over to inspect the inside and gasped at the treasure that had been secreted there. 

Barnabas smiled crookedly and put one hand under hers as he pulled the shimmering ring from its hiding place. "Will you marry me, Julia Hoffman?" he asked in a clear, soft voice, the voice that Julia always thought of as his bedroom voice, the one as sweet and smooth as warm honey.

"Barnabas, I would marry you today, tomorrow, in any lifetime, in any time band," she said happily as he slid the diamond solitaire onto her finger.

"Then we had better make it quite soon, my dear, because my bags are already in your room," he answered with a wicked grin. 

"What-"

"When I inquired after you, the desk clerk assumed that I was your husband. I did not take the trouble to dissuade him of his belief."

He pulled her closer to him, and she smiled when she felt his need for her. "You were quite sure of yourself, weren't you, Mr. Collins?" she murmured seductively, pressing herself against him.

He looked down into her glowing face and lightly touched his lips to hers, afraid that his control might be lost if he pursued a deeper kiss. "Just desperately hopeful, my love," he answered in the bedroom voice. The look that passed between them left no doubt as to what would happen the first opportunity that arose.

"If we are going to make honest people of each other, Mr. Collins, I suggest that we get married tonight, right now."

"Julia, I don't understand. How-" Barnabas began, bewildered.

Before he could continue, she had taken his left hand in hers and removed the onyx ring that adorned his index finger. Holding his hand gently between both of hers, she looked into his questioning eyes and slowly began to slide the ring onto his left ring finger. "I, Julia Hoffman, take you, Barnabas Collins, to be my husband from this day forward. We have been through more together, Barnabas, than any married couple I can imagine - triumphs, tragedies, horrors, miracles. I have loved you through all of it, no matter what you were, no matter where we were. You are in every beat of my heart, in every breath that I take. I cannot imagine life without you. I tried to, but you were all I thought of, night and day, waking and sleeping. I promise to love you and only you with all of my heart for the rest of my days."

Barnabas looked at her astonished and momentarily speechless. When he was once again capable of speech, he took her hand and removed the solitaire he had place there just moments before. "I, Barnabas Collins, take you Julia Hoffman, to be my wife from this day forward. You have never failed me, my beautiful Julia, despite monumental obstacles and terrors that would have frightened the hardiest of men - and women," he added with a smile. "You have always believed in me, believed in me and loved me when I neither believed in nor loved myself. You have always accepted me despite my condition. You are the only person who knows everything about me, whom I can always be honest with no matter the circumstances. I know now that I have loved you and wanted you for a very long time. I just wasn't wise enough to recognize and trust my own feelings. I pledge to love you and only you all the days of my life without fail."

"I now pronounce us husband and wife," Julia said with a smile. "Perhaps not in the eyes of the law, but in the eyes of God, and nature and most importantly, in our own eyes. You may kiss the bride, Barnabas, and then...."




As the velvet darkness finally claimed the beach for its own, the contented couple strolled into the lobby of the elegant hotel. The desk clerk looked up as they passed by and smiled.

"Oh, Mr. Hoffman, good, you found your wife. Your bags have been taken care of, sir."

"Thank you," Barnabas answered in a rather clipped tone as Julia turned to look at him. Her eyes danced with merriment, and she bit her lip hard to hold back a bark of laughter.

She waited until they had turned the corner in the direction of her room before she began to laugh. "How did that happen?" she chuckled.

"I asked for Dr. Hoffman, he assumed I was your husband and...." he grumbled as he shrugged his shoulders.

Julia continued to smile broadly at the thought as she unlocked the door to her room. But her face became thoughtful as she and Barnabas turned to each other in the sitting room of her suite. They regarded each other seriously for a moment and then joined hands and silently walked into the bedroom.

Julia disengaged herself for a moment as she carefully placed the conch shell he had given her on the dresser. Turning to him, she slowly removed the cover-up and let it fall to the floor. Barnabas approached her and reverently slipped the straps of her bathing suit off of her shoulders. He placed warm hands on the bare skin of her upper arms and drank her in as if he had been thirsting for her all of his life. His soft kisses began at her forehead, moved down to her quivering mouth until finally his lips found her neck. Trembling with emotion, Julia knew that if she hadn't been willing to do anything for him before, that she certainly would be now. His tender caresses graduated to insistent touches until he finally peeled the suit from her and carried her to the bed.

Although both Barnabas and Julia were anxious to consummate their love, their lovemaking was slow, sweet and tender by mutual unspoken agreement. It was as if both lovers wished to savor each moment, each sensation, each discovery of the other. Years of pain and hurt melted into nothingness until they were finally truly united in all ways -in mind, heart, spirit, and body. Their souls were at last knitted together, completing the communion that they had begun on the beach in their own private ceremony. And the roar of the surf outside their window provided the baptism for the united soul that they had just created through their total love.

As they lay quietly in each other's arms, feeling each other breathe, Barnabas became aware of the unfamiliar feel of the ring on his ring finger. It felt different, new but so right, and he realized that he did indeed feel truly married to the woman in his arms.




Barnabas and Julia were married by a minister the next day on the same stretch of beach where they had first declared their love for each other. And every year after that, Mr. and Mrs. Collins celebrated their anniversary with the same tradition. Julia would wake her husband by wishing him a "Happy Anniversary, Mr. Hoffman," they would make love, and then Julia would find a new gift hidden in the conch which she still kept on her dresser as a reminder of the day that they truly found their way to each other.

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