by Terry S. Bowers

Barnabas Collins followed his 'cousin', Quentin, down the hallway leading to Angelique's room. He'd expressed interest in seeing it, hoping he would somehow find his way back to his own time band. He had to find his way back.

Quentin paused and explained again the unpredictability of the phenomenon, then opened the double doors to reveal the Parallel Time room. Barnabas stepped beside him, his eyes growing wide. It was the room as he knew it, the room from his own time. Empty, dark, deserted, except for one person. Julia!

Barnabas consciously forced himself not to react as he wanted to. He could not reveal himself, could not allow Quentin's suspicions that he was the Barnabas Collins of whom these other people spoke to be strengthened. But he desperately wanted to call out to Julia. To somehow find a way to make her hear him, to let her know he was all right and wanted to come home.

Collins swallowed hard when Julia spoke, when she called out to him, asking if he could hear her, if he was standing in the hallway in that other time, unable to pass the barrier and return.

No! He could not allow himself to react. He was not supposed to know this Julia; was not even supposed to know her name. But his mind cried out in answer. Julia! Yes, I am here. I can hear you. I want to come home. And I will try, I must. Oh, Julia, do not give up hope!

Barnabas watched as Julia Hoffman turned in the empty room. Her back had been to him, but now she faced the doors, faced him. Her expression was one of hopeful despair. She desperately wanted to believe he could somehow see and hear her, but was doubting the possibility as well. She was beginning to believe he was lost to her in the alternate time stream.

Collins watched as Julia took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She released the breath slowly, and when she opened her eyes, she shook her head sadly. Julia turned and left the room.

Julia..

Forcing an astonished look to his face, Barnabas Collins faced Quentin Collins, who was turning to ask him what he thought now that he had seen parallel time. Quentin would never know what Barnabas truly thought.

Collins watched as Alexis Stokes left Angelique's room. He was pleased Quentin seemed to heed his advise, and moved his sister-in-law from the parallel time room. It would prevent anyone belonging to this time band from being accidentally sent to his own time. And it would allow him freer access to the room; allow him more chance of returning to his own time.

Moving over toward the double doors, Barnabas strained his eyes into the hallway, as if hoping he could see past the realities of this time and into the darkened hallway of his own time. Mentally wanting to see the Julia Hoffman he knew and trusted, Barnabas looked around the well furnished, well lighted room and sighed silently.

"Julia, can you hear me? Will I ever see you, see my home again? Julia..."

Collins shook his head, glancing down at his hands. He'd come to this band of time seeking escape, seeking a way to avoid harming those for whom he cared after he was cursed by the Leviathans; after he became a vampire once more. Julia had not wanted him to go, had pleaded with him to stay so she could help him and protect him, but as always he had been stubborn and not listened to her. Now he wished he had heeded her wise advise, for at times, she knew better what he needed than he did.

"Julia..."

Why did he call to her and no one else? Perhaps because Julia represented all he desired most right then. He desired to go home and he desired the security of that home. He also longed for the familiarity of that home and the people he knew in his own time stream. Barnabas knew Julia could - and would - provide him with all he desired - a familiar, friendly face, a feeling of security in his own home, and even more importantly, a sense of safety. Were he with Julia he would not have the constant fear of exposure that had once been his insistent companion. That fear faded into the background when he was with Julia, for he knew she would protect him, and his secret, at all costs.

Barnabas looked around the parallel time room, willing it to change. It did not. Could there be other reasons why he called out to Julia and no one else? Yes, there were. Barnabas could not lie to himself, no matter how hard he tried. The other reasons had been a part of him for a very long time, he'd just been unable - or unwilling - to admit them to Julia, and especially to himself. Julia represented far more than security and safety. But so long as he was cursed, so long as he had to live by night as a vampire, he could not openly admit those reasons to anyone, especially her. He could not tell Julia he returned the love she offered him; could not let Julia any further into his life even though he knew she would willingly accept any risks she might face. He wanted her place in his life to be so much more, but he dared not allow it.

Glancing around the room again, Barnabas once more shook his head. None of what he wanted or could allow to happen really mattered anyway - not so long as he was trapped in parallel time, living amongst strangers.

"Julia,... I will find my way home, my way back to you."

His escape, his way back to Julia was not to be this night. The barriers between time streams were too sturdy to be breached in the short minutes he had left. Dawn was nearing and Barnabas took one last look toward the double doors, then quietly left.

Across the threshold, across the barrier of time lines, Julia Hoffman pressed herself against the invisible wall that kept her from stepping through into another band of time. She watched as her friend, the man she loved, promised her he would return to her. Then he left and the room was empty.

"Barnabas..."

Her voice tight with emotion, Julia watched through tear filled eyes as the room suddenly changed. But it was too late - Barnabas was already gone. The change had not come soon enough. He would not be returning to her this night.

"Barnabas..."

* * * * * * * * * *

Terry S. Bowers June 10, 1999

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