by
Terry S. Bowers

I don't know what happened to make me forget. No one else does either. I have been told I was found wandering in a cemetery called 'Eagle Hill'. They told me I had been missing for three days and everyone was frantic to find me. I can't help them discover where I was or what took place during that time. I have no memory of those events, or of any events before I was found.

Barnabas took me to a place called 'Wyndecliffe'. There the doctors tried to help me to learn about my memory loss, but they could find no physical cause. I had no head injury, no trauma, no marks of any kind. And they were unable to help me even begin touching those clues so as to help me regain my identity. While I was there, I was told it was my hospital; that I was in charge of the facility. But it did not look familiar, I did not recognize it, or the possessions they said were mine, or any of the people who worked there. I could see it saddened them - their inability to help me. I didn't like that but there was - there is - nothing I can do. The doctors said my memory will have to come back on its own. They have done all they can for me, and recommended I spend some time in places where I am comfortable, with people I know well and trust. Barnabas brought me back to a place called 'Collinwood'. I have been here now for a month and still do not know who I am or what caused my memory to be lost - to be taken. I know I must be patient, but the hurt and longing I see in Barnabas' eyes haunts me. I want to remember the kind of relationship we had that would cause such sadness and loneliness, such... disappointment in his eyes at my lack of recognition and... I'm beginning to fear it will never happen; fear I will simply have to start over, build a new life and new memories, never knowing my own past...

Julia sighed and put the pen down, pushing the notebook away from her. One of the doctors at Wyndecliffe suggested she keep a journal of what she thought and felt now. She'd made only this one entry so far and didn't know if it had been helpful or not. It would take time to know that. And apparently she had a lot of time.

Standing, Julia Hoffman moved away from the writing desk and glanced about the room they told her she used when staying at Collinwood. She'd done this same thing countless times before, remembering nothing, recognizing nothing. She moved across the floor and opened the wardrobe, gently running her fingers over the clothing within. They assured her these were her clothes, but Julia could only trust in what they said. Everything was new to her, and as her fingers lingered on a green and white herringbone suit, Julia wondered about several of the outfits there. She did not find them particularly appealing or attractive - a couple were downright ugly - but she did concede they were conservative and functional enough to be practical for a doctor. She just couldn't visualize herself wearing them. She didn't even like green - at least, she didn't now.

Feeling herself begin to yawn, Julia glanced at the clock beside her bed. It was late - past midnight. She closed the door to the wardrobe and switched off the desk lamp. This household seemed to keep rather late hours. When she'd first been back, unable to sleep, she'd heard people coming up to bed as late as two or three in the morning. Something told her that, if she could remember, if she had her memories, she too would be keeping some of the same late hours. But not now. The doctors had also told Julia she should get plenty of rest, and she was trying to follow that prescription.

Yawning again, Julia changed for bed, switched on the bedside lamp and turned off the overhead light. She checked the window, cracking it open just a little to allow the fresh sea air into her room, then she climbed into bed.

As she lay down, resting her head on the pillow, Julia sighed. On several occasions she'd tried to read before going to sleep -- books, newspapers, magazines - but found the activity frustrating. She knew the words, but did not have the background - the memories - to allow the concepts and context to make any sense. Specific skills and knowledge were still intact. She had treated a nasty cut the housekeeper, Mrs. Johnson, received the other day without even thinking about it. But any information about herself, the other people in the house, or the world was gone.

Shaking her head slightly against the pillow, Julia switched off the lamp, turned on her side and closed her eyes.

Elizabeth Collins Stoddard made it a nightly practice to discreetly check on Julia Hoffman before she turned in. Elizabeth hoped, if Julia knew or ever found out, that she would accept it as the gesture of concern and friendship it was intended to be, and not some attempt to intrude on Julia's privacy.

The Collins matriarch had just finished looking in on Julia, closed the door quietly and started down the hall toward her own room when a heart - stopping scream came from behind Julia's door. Elizabeth paused, waiting for her heart to stop thumping, then she turned and hurried back toward Hoffman's room. She reached to open the door just as another, even more terrified scream sounded.

Elizabeth entered, flipping on the overhead light as she hurried to Julia's bedside. Julia was sitting up in bed, her eyes tightly closed, preparing to scream again. Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed and reached for Julia's hands as they clenched about the bed clothes.

"Julia, it's all right. You're having a dream. Julia, do you hear me? You must wake up."

Julia screamed again, and Elizabeth could hear the running feet of others coming to investigate. Her brother, Roger, and her daughter, Carolyn, hurried in.

"What the devil...?"

"Julia, Julia, wake up."

Carolyn joined her mother at the bedside and added her plea to Elizabeth's.

"Julia, you must wake up."

Hoffman opened her eyes, staring ahead of her. A deep shudder coursed through her.

"No! Oh God, no!"

She began to sob uncontrollably and Elizabeth took Julia's hands more firmly as Carolyn stepped forward. She put her hands on Julia's shoulders.

"Julia?"

"It was me. I did it... I was... was made to kill him... No!"

"Whom did you kill, Julia?"

"Barnabas! I was forced to kill him. I couldn't stop it. I'm sorry! Barnabas!"

"Julia, Barnabas is fine. You saw him only a few hours ago. He had dinner with us, then the two of you went for a walk."

"I killed him. I killed him. I killed him."

Julia shook her head and laid back down, curling onto her side. She alternated between sobbing and claiming she had killed Barnabas. Elizabeth looked up at her brother.

"Roger, you'd better go to the Old House and get Barnabas."

"It's nearly three in the morning, Liz!"

"You know as well as I do that Barnabas keeps late hours, Roger. And if he should be in bed, I doubt very much he will mind being disturbed for this. Julia may calm when she sees for herself that he is all right."

Clearly not pleased by the idea, but knowing his sister might be correct, Roger Collins turned and left the room. Going for Barnabas in the middle of the night was better than listening to Julia screaming. Carolyn and Elizabeth focused their attention on Julia, trying to comfort her as best they could.

Barnabas Collins hurried through the front door of Collinwood and up the stairs. He had been to Julia's room only once or twice in all the time they had known one another, but he knew where it was, and he headed directly there. The door was open and he paused just across the threshold. He saw Julia Hoffman, curled under the blankets, rocking herself. Distinct sobs came from under the bedclothes and his eyes grew wide with astonished fear. Elizabeth still sat beside Julia, and looked up to meet Barnabas' gaze. She stood and came around the end of the bed.

"Elizabeth?"

"I thought she had awakened from a dream, screaming, but... I think she's still asleep, Barnabas. She will not respond to either Carolyn or myself, and her eyes are still closed. She's been like this about five minutes."

"No! NO! I killed him! Barnabas... I'm sorry..."

"She keeps repeating that she killed you, insisting that she didn't want to but someone forced her to do it. I've told her you are fine, but she doesn't seem to comprehend."

Barnabas had not taken his eyes from Julia, and he nodded his understanding. He stepped further into the room as Elizabeth continued.

"I thought perhaps, if she could see for herself that you are unharmed..."

"Thank you, Elizabeth. And you as well, Carolyn."

He pressed his hand on Elizabeth's arm and smiled at Carolyn, then slowly sat on the edge of the bed. He reached out to gently touch Julia's shoulder as he spoke her name softly.

"Julia,... Julia, you must wake up. This nightmare must end. Julia, it is Barnabas. Listen to me. You must wake up."

"BARNABAS!"

Julia sat up, screaming his name.

"I am right here, Julia."

He reached down and took her hand, then squeezed it hard. He saw her flinch.

"Julia!"

She took a deep breath then opened her eyes. She blinked.

"Barnabas! I'm sorry!"

"Julia, I am here with you. There is no need to apologize."

Still holding her hand rather tightly, Barnabas used his other hand to reach out and turn Julia's head so she was looking directly at him. She blinked again, still not fully awake or comprehending what was going on.

"Barnabas?! No! I killed you! I didn't want to. I was forced to kill you!"

"Julia!"

The sharpness of his tone made Julia start. She blinked her eyes again and took a deep breath, then swallowed hard, shaking her head.

"No. Go back to your grave. Do not haunt me..."

She closed her eyes and began to sob. Barnabas reached out and raised her chin so their eyes could meet once again.

"Julia, look at me. Feel my hand, my fingers. They are warm and alive. I am no ghost. I do not haunt you."

Slowly, very slowly, awareness began to creep over Julia Hoffman. She blinked, looking down at her hand, still tightly clasped by Barnabas' hand. She raised her other hand to touch his cheek, feel his breath.

"Barnabas?"

"Yes, Julia. I am here and very much alive."

"I didn't..."

"No. It was a dream - a nightmare."

She collapsed with a sob, leaning her head on his shoulder. Collins nodded and wrapped her in his embrace, then glanced up at a touch on his arm. Elizabeth indicated they would all wait out in the hallway. He nodded and heard the door close behind them.

Slowly Julia began to calm; to understand she had not killed the man who'd been so kind and concerned about her ever since this all began. When she could breath without sobbing, Julia raised her head from Barnabas' shoulder and met his gaze. He smiled gently.

"What..."

"You had a very... intense, traumatic, and long lasting nightmare. You kept insisting you'd been forced to kill me. Elizabeth felt that if you were able to see for yourself that I am unharmed, it might help to... lessen the nightmare."

Julia was nodding, unaware that Barnabas still held her hand. But even as she tried to recall details of the nightmare, they slipped away from her. Julia frowned.

"Julia?"

"I... can't remember it, Barnabas, nothing. Damn!"

She thumped her clenched fist against the mattress, frustration and anger clearly evident in her expression.

"I don't understand any of this, Barnabas. Why can't I remember anything about myself? By now I should be able to recall some things. They might not make sense yet, they might not help me make the connections I need to make, but I should be able to remember something. But I can't. Clinically, I know this. It's normal for a patient with traumatic amnesia. Why can't I remember anything? Why were my memories... taken? Why is my identity gone?"

Julia took a deep breath to keep herself from screaming - or sobbing. She looked at Barnabas, silently pleading with him to tell her something, anything that would help. He couldn't, and shook his head.

"I deeply regret I can not provide those answers for you Julia, or for myself. For I would like to know as much as you would."

She shook her head in frustration, and again met Barnabas' gaze, seeing once more his distress at being unable to really help her. Julia smiled and squeezed his hand gently, completely at easy with the discovery he did still hold her hand.

"You have done so much for me already, Barnabas. I know I just need to be patient, but... it is so frustrating."

"Yes, it is, for all of us who care for you, Julia. But perhaps this nightmare, even though you are unable to remember details, is a step toward regaining your memories."

"How?"

"That is beyond my level of knowledge. I cannot answer that either, but your colleagues at Wyndecliffe should be able to."

Julia studied Barnabas closely, understanding what he was suggesting.

"Yes."

"I shall make an appointment for you first thing in the morning. But now I think you should rest. Will you be able to sleep again?"

He felt her tense at the mention of sleep, perhaps fearing the nightmare would return.

"I will stay with you if you like, Julia."

"I can't deprive you of your bed, Barnabas."

"I shall be just fine in the chair."

Before she could protest further, Barnabas stood and helped Julia get settled under the covers. He crossed the room and turned on the desk lamp, then turned off the overhead light. He sat beside Julia on the bed once again, and took her hand.

"Sleep well, Julia. I shall be nearby if you need me."

She smiled gratefully, then closed her eyes. The stress and fatigue caused by her nightmare quickly gave way to exhaustion, and allowed Julia to fall asleep. When Barnabas was certain she would not wake, he eased his hand from her grasp and stood slowly. Quietly he made his way to the hallway door and opened it. He joined his cousins in the hallway where they were waiting for word on Julia. He closed the door before he spoke.

"She is asleep again."

"Could she tell you anything, Barnabas?"

"No, the details of her nightmare seem to have fled as completely as her memories. I shall be taking her to Wyndecliffe after breakfast. Perhaps one of her colleagues will be able to help where I cannot."

"A sound idea, Barnabas. Come, I will drive you back to the Old House."

"Thank you, Roger, but I have promised Julia I will stay the rest of the night with her."

"Barnabas..."

"I shall sleep in the chair, close by if she should need me. I have given her my word, Elizabeth."

"Let me get you a pillow and a blanket."

"Thank you, Carolyn. Both would be appreciated."

She moved down the corridor to get him the items while Elizabeth met Barnabas' gaze sternly.

"Is this wise, Barnabas? Should Julia grow dependent on having someone else in the room with her..."

"I sincerely doubt Julia would allow that to happen, Elizabeth. Although she has lost her memories, she has not lost her independence or her strong will and stubbornness."

Roger nodded his agreement enthusiastically while Elizabeth Collins Stoddard smiled slowly. Carolyn returned with the pillow and blanket. She handed them to her cousin.

"Thank you, Carolyn."

"Goodnight, Barnabas."

"Goodnight."

He gave everyone a nod, then returned to Julia's room, leaving the door open so as not to appear improper.

"A wise move on his part. It is time we were all in bed. Goodnight, ladies."

Roger turned and retreated to his own room. Moments later, Carolyn and Elizabeth did likewise.

A gentle knock on the door caused Julia Hoffman to turn from the window and glance over her shoulder. She knew who was there.

"Come in."

The door opened and Barnabas Collins stepped into Julia's office. He had talked with Andrew Greene, one of Julia's associates, and learned the general results of Greene's hypnotic session with Julia. Barnabas hoped Julia would be willing to tell him more specific details.

"Julia?"

"Come in, Barnabas."

She turned away from the window completely and took several steps toward her desk before pausing. She was quite comfortable and at ease in this room, but still had no memories associated with it.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired, drained, better. Doctor Greene was able to help me recall my nightmare, but... the images mean nothing to me."

"Can you tell me what you saw?"

Julia shuddered as she looked at Barnabas with what he could only call fear. Then she sank into the chair behind her desk. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"I saw... my hands... disemboweling you while you were still alive. I knew what to do, I knew how to stop it, how to repair what I'd already done and help you but... someone else in the room prevented me. This person held me back, and made me watch as your blood..."

She swallowed and shook her head, unable to continue. Barnabas had gone pale as he sank into a chair in front of her desk.

"Did Doctor Greene have any ideas as to what it may have meant?"

"Yes... My mind is trying to provide memories for the ones that are lost. But why the nightmare was so gruesome..."

Again she shook her head, then abruptly stood.

"I need to get away from here, Barnabas."

He glanced at the wall clock then back at Julia.

"Of course. Would you like to drive back along the coast, or would you rather take the back road through the woods?"

"You decide, Barnabas."

He nodded and escorted Julia from her office.

` Barnabas chose the back road, welcoming the secluded and isolated route it provided. Julia said very little on the drive back, staring out the window at the passing scenery.

A storm was beginning to gather in the near distance as they rounded a curve in the road. Barnabas slowed the car and turned on the headlights when a road sign came into view. It declared the bridge ahead was out and the road closed from that point on.

Collins sighed, stopped, and put the car into reverse. He turned the car around and started back the way they'd come. From the corner of his eye, he saw Julia sit up straight. She extinguished her cigarette in the car ash tray, and her tension level increased.

"Julia, what is it?"

She was looking intently ahead of them through the windshield, her hand resting on the dashboard.

"This... looks familiar, Barnabas."

"You often took this route when commuting to Wyndecliffe."

She said nothing, but Barnabas knew his explanation had not eased her mind at all. They continued in silence for nearly a mile, until the car suddenly swerved to the left, the distinct sound of a punctured tire letting Barnabas know what the problem was. He slowed the car even more and eased it onto the shoulder. Both got out.

Collins bent to inspect the large hole in the front tire, then he walked to the rear of the car and opened the trunk. He scowled. The spare tire was missing. Overhead the storm was beginning to strengthen. Barnabas sighed heavily with exasperation as he looked around.

"There was a private road about a half mile back. Perhaps it leads to somewhere that we might ask for assistance."

Julia only nodded, still feeling this was all quite familiar. Barnabas took her elbow and they began to walk back toward the bridge. Overhead the wind gusted heavily. They had not gone far when they heard a car coming up behind them. It slowed as it came along side, then it stopped. A man got out.

"I take it that is your car with the flat tire. May I be of assistance?"

"Yes, it is our car - no spare tire. We were hoping to find some kind of help up ahead."

"I live just up the road. Please, allow me to offer the use of my phone and shelter from the wind until help can arrive."

Rain was beginning to fall. Barnabas looked at Julia a moment, then nodded gratefully.

"Thank you."

Collins opened the back door of the stranger's car for Julia. She got in and slid over, then he got in beside her. Their host re-started the car and in moments they turned down the private road Barnabas has seen earlier. On each side of the road was thick brush and woods. A few moments later they emerged from the wooded area and entered a clearing. A well cared for lawn surrounded a small but elegant house.

As the car headed toward the garage attached to the house, Julia grew more uneasy. Something about the area was all too familiar, but she could not place what it was. Barnabas studied her across the back seat, uncertain of what to do. Julia had been uneasy ever since her nightmare of early that morning, and yet... she had an intuition about situations and places that he could not ignore. He placed a gentle hand on her arm and gave her a reassuring nod when she looked at him. Neither saw their host watching them in the rear view mirror.

A loud crack of thunder followed by a flash of lightning and a strong gust of wind marked the nearness of the storm moments after Barnabas and Julia were shown into the back hallway of their host's home.

"It's going to be a nasty storm, I think. My name is Robert Nitz, by the way."

"Mr. Nitz, we deeply appreciate your hospitality. I am Barnabas Collins, and my associate, Julia Hoffman."

"Mr. Collins, Miss Hoffman, welcome. Let me show you to the phone."

"Thank you."

Nitz led the way through a short hallway and into the living room. He indicated the phone and phone book, then excused himself to make them all some coffee while Barnabas moved to use the phone. Moments after picking up the receiver, Barnabas returned it to the hook, shaking his head in response to Julia's silent curiosity.

"The lines must be down."

Julia went pale and shook her head.

"Barnabas, we need to leave, now. We can go back to the car and return to Wyndecliffe."

Collins studied her carefully, then glanced out the front window. There had been no hurricane predicted for the area, but the winds were quickly approaching gale force. He shook his head as he placed a comforting hand on her arm.

"We would never survive out there, Julia, and it would be foolish to attempt it."

She turned to stare out the window, her uneasiness growing. Behind her, Robert Nitz entered the room carrying a tray of cups and a plate of cookies.

"The coffee will be ready in a few minutes. Were you able to reach the garage, Mr. Collins?"

"Unfortunately the phone lines seem to be out. I shall try again later."

"The way that storm looks, you probably won't be able to get through for at least several hours."

"Yes, I had thought of that. I hope we shan't be imposing, Mr. Nitz."

"Not at all, I welcome your company. It can get very isolated out here, especially during a storm. Excuse me a moment while I check on the coffee. Please, have a seat."

He indicated the couch, placed the tray on a low table and smiled, then once again left the room. Barnabas crossed the carpeted floor to stand beside Julia, still at the window. He placed his hands on her arms and met her troubled gaze when she looked his way.

"What is wrong? Can you tell me?"

She studied Barnabas' gaze for a long moment, once again seeing the pain and frustration he felt at not being able to help her, to give her what she needed most at this point -- her memories. Slowly she shook her head and took a deep breath.

"I don't know what is wrong, Barnabas. I have the overwhelming feeling of having been here before, but... our host doesn't know either of us. I also sense... danger of some kind, but I can't place it."

Julia began to tremble with frustration as tears sprang to her eyes. She clenched her fists at her sides and bit her lower lip to keep from screaming. Barnabas put his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace, comforting her as best he could.

"We will work this out, Julia, we will find out what happened to your memories and get them back. I share some of your uneasiness, but I think it is due to the unexpected storm. Come, sit down. The coffee will warm you. Then we can decide what is to be done."

Julia took a deep breath and nodded once. She accompanied Barnabas over to the sofa, where they sat side by side.

Although the intense thunder and lightning associated with the storm abated relatively soon, the rain and excessive wind continued steadily. Barnabas and Julia resigned themselves to accepting the over night hospitality of Robert Nitz. They would spend the night in the safe haven his home offered, and try again in the morning to find assistance for the disabled automobile.

They spent the time conversing, playing card and board games. As the evening wore on, Barnabas sensed Julia's restlessness lessen. She was still uneasy, but no longer insistent that they needed to leave immediately.

Improvising sleeping arrangements as best they could, Barnabas reluctantly took the master bedroom. Julia was assigned the guest room across the hall, and Nitz claimed he would be perfectly fine on the couch in the living room.

"Storms like this fascinate me. I should be up most of the night watching it anyway. There is no reason not to avail yourself of the master bedroom, Mr. Collins."

Barnabas inclined his head and relented. As it neared midnight, Barnabas could see Julia's fatigue growing. They said their good nights to Robert, and Barnabas saw Julia to the guest room. He paused outside her door, hand resting on her arm.

"Will you be all right, Julia?"

She stifled a yawn, then nodded.

"Yes,.. yes, I think so, Barnabas. I'm exhausted."

"I will stay with you if you like, explain to Mr. Nitz at a later time."

"Thank you Barnabas, but after last night's lack of sleep, you must be as tired as I am. I'll be fine, really."

He slowly nodded and met her gaze.

"I shall be just across the hall then, and will leave the door open a bit. All you need do is call out if you should require my assistance."

Julia smiled when Barnabas gave her arm a gentle squeeze. She almost reached up to kiss him on the cheek, but hesitated a moment too long, not knowing if he would accept that kind of gesture from her. Then she turned and entered the guest room, wishing him a good night. Collins waited a moment before retreating to the master bedroom. He doubted he would sleep well, but he would make the effort - for Julia.

* * * * *

Julia woke slowly from a deep sleep. She felt groggy, unable to open her eyes or keep them open. She heard a voice, distant and faint, calling to her. It was a familiar voice, but she could not place it. Frustration washed over her. She knew that voice, but from where; to whom did it belong?!

Coming more fully awake, Julia glanced at her strange surroundings. It took her a moment to recall where she was, and why. The storm, the man with the car... Julia listened and could hear the wind and the rain. The storm continued. She took a deep breath, then started when she heard her name called out, desperation and fear filling the voice. She had not dreamed it!

Glancing at her nearly closed bedroom door, Julia rose and dressed quickly. She carefully crossed to the hall door and cracked it open further. The hallway was empty and just across its width was the door to the master bedroom. It too stood open a crack, exactly as Barnabas promised. Carefully crossing the hallway, Julia stood outside the door and listened. She could hear no sounds from within, and finally knocked gently.

"... Barnabas."

Her voice was a whisper and she waited several moments before calling to him again. When there was no answer and she continued to hear no sounds from within the room, Julia glanced over her shoulder toward the living room, where Nitz was staying. She carefully pushed the door to the master bedroom open further and slipped inside.

A faint light, orange-red in color, came from across the room. It was bright enough to let Julia see Barnabas was not asleep in the bed, and that he had not left it willingly. The bed clothes were pulled out from the bottom of the bed and stretched across the floor, while the pillows were jumbled in the middle of the bed and spilled onto the floor.

"Julia!"

She turned quickly at the sound of her name being called again. It had come from the side of the room, near the source of the odd colored light. The voice she still could not place, but it almost sounded like Barnabas'. It was coming from somewhere beyond the walls of the room.

Julia stepped closer to the wall, realizing a panel had slid back, revealing a balcony of some kind. She hesitated to step through, wondering if this were another part of her nightmare, a part she'd not been able to recall before. But it felt too real to be a dream or nightmare.

"No! Julia!!"

The voice sounded more like Barnabas' this time, and he was in pain. He needed her help. She might not remember anything about herself or others, but she still retained her medical knowledge. She had to help him.

Carefully Julia stepped through the opening in the wall and onto the balcony. It overlooked a deep cavern of stone. The odd colored light was from a series of torches and fires that burned below. To her left was a flight of stairs, carved from the stone of the cavern. They were steep, with no handrail to prevent her from falling over the edge should she slip, but Julia knew she had to descend. It was the only way to reach Barnabas, the only way to help him.

Moving slowly, taking each step with care, Julia followed the stairs to the bottom of the cavern. There the light was brighter and she could see the stone room was decorated in a way she knew she should recognize but could not. The symbols were vaguely familiar, and she was instinctively frightened by them, by their meaning, but since she had no memories as to what they represented, she did not allow herself to react as she wanted to.

"Julia! No! Go back! Leave, now!"

"Barnabas!"

"Get out of here! Go! Leave me and go!"

His voice echoed and bounced off the cavern walls, but Julia had no trouble following the voice to its source. She stepped from an area of bright light into one of shadowed darkness. Her eyes adjusted slowly. Julia saw Barnabas, stripped to the waist, bound to a table. Her eyes grew wide and she reached out to free him.

"I shouldn't, My Dear."

The voice! The one from her dream, the one that sounded like Barnabas' but wasn't. She watched as Barnabas opened his eyes. This time when he spoke, she was certain it was him and not some imitation. He shook his head slowly.

"No, Julia, do not try to free me. I will be all right. I have no value but as bait."

"And you have served well in that capacity, Mr. Collins. However, I do have other plans for you. Our association will not be short lived."

Julia watched Barnabas' face, then was preparing to turn around to look at the person behind her when Barnabas' warning caused her to stop.

"Julia, do not look at him. It is what he wants. Leave now."

She stared at Barnabas, her hand still poised to release him, yet unable to complete the action. She knew that other voice... But Julia had no chance to place it, no opportunity to identify its owner, for even as she turned toward the source of the familiar voice, as Barnabas had known she would, there was a flash of firelight on highly polished metal. Julia was drawn closer to Barnabas and the table on which he lay.

The glint of metal caught her eye and Julia looked at her hand, still poised above Barnabas. In her fingers she grasped a surgical scalpel, the kind used for making a chest incision.

"No..."

Images from her nightmare rushed over Julia, causing her to gasp in pain and dread. No! This could not be real! She would never do this to Barnabas! It had to be another part of her nightmare.

Hoffman jumped when the owner of the familiar voice was suddenly behind her. His cool, supple hands caressed her arms and the back of her neck... just as he used to do. He leaned forward to speak close to her ear, but his voice was pitched so Barnabas could also hear his words.

"When you left me you said it was because you did not love me enough to marry me. You were certain your destiny, and mine, were along different paths. And you were so very right, Julia. But now those paths have converged. You know where your path now takes you. Proceed. Do not hesitate. You have been shown what to do. Now you must do it."

"Steven..."

"Yes, My Dear, you do know..."

He gave her a slight push and Julia stepped up to the table, her gaze focused on her hand and the surgical implement she held. Slowly, hand trembling, she moved it closer to Barnabas, toward his bare chest.

"Julia, you can stop this. It need not become real."

"She is a woman of strong will and determination, Mr. Collins, as you well know. However she is not strong enough to resist and repel the forces I call upon for assistance; the force that compels her forward. Julia, do as you know you must, as your destiny demands."

Julia was shaking her head, tears in her eyes, yet her hand was still moving closer and closer to Barnabas' chest. She dared not look at Barnabas, dared not meet his gaze. He was helpless to stop her in any physical way, and she was helpless to resist.

When the blade Julia held touched Barnabas chest and she began to make the incision, his cry of agony filled and echoed in the cavern. Julia watched in fascinated horror as the blood welled up through the sliced skin and tissue, collecting around the sharp blade. It slowly ran across his chest and down his ribs to pool on the table beneath him.

"Julia, no..."

Barnabas' voice was soft, weak from pain, but he refused to give in to it. Julia needed his help, his reserves of inner strength and he would not fail her.

"This is my destiny, Julia, the path I chose to follow when you left me. I have been a loyal, valuable, and trustworthy servant to my Master. I have learned quickly and he has granted me an indulgence. This is my reward, my revenge for your desertion of me two days before we were to wed! It is also my way of thanking you, of making me to see the truth of your words and allowing me to follow my true calling in the service of my Master. Now, continue."

Steven's voice was firm with the command, and Julia pressed the blade further into Barnabas' flesh, cutting deeper. The blood flow increased and she realized this was truly her nightmare. She chanced a glance at Barnabas. His gaze was fixed on her, silently imploring her to be strong and resist as best she could; promising her he would not give in to the pain again.

Julia swallowed then closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and began to concentrate. Her hand pressed against Barnabas' chest again and she heard his hissed intake of breath as he tried to tolerate the pain. A moan finally escaped his lips and that was all Julia needed.

"NO!"

She pulled her hand and the instrument it held away from Barnabas, then spun to face Steven Webster; the man she had once planned to marry, the man she found she did not truly love and ultimately did not trust. He had kept too many secrets from her, including his involvement with the Black Arts.

"You cannot resist, Julia. I have shown you which path you must take. You will destroy him, the man you now love, in body, just as you destroyed me in spirit and soul; just as you destroyed our life together and all the potential it held. Now."

Steven's gaze locked with Julia's, and although she struggled hard to resist, she could not. Slowly Hoffman turned back to face Barnabas Collins, her hand returning to the wound she had inflicted.

"Barnabas, I'm sorry..."

He simply met her gaze and steeled himself for the resumption of intense pain. Just as the blade was about to touch his skin again, Julia jerked her elbow back. Steven was standing so close behind her she caught him in the stomach. She spun around and lashed out at him, slashing his cheek with the scalpel. He cried out in angry hatred and lunged at her. Julia was forced back against the table. She slipped in a puddle of Barnabas' blood that had dripped to the floor, stumbled, and brought her hands up to protect herself from Webster. A scream of pain issued from Steven's mouth and when he stepped back from Julia, his eyes were wide with disbelief. Julia saw the surgical knife she'd been holding was deeply imbedded in his chest - in his heart.

Julia gasped and leaned against Barnabas as wave after wave of memory suddenly returned. She cried out in desperation then looked down at her hand, and the large pearl ring she wore. Fumbling frantically, her fingers slick with blood, Julia pulled the ring from her finger and flung it at Steven's prone form.

The firelight and torches began to flicker wildly as the cavern around them began to shake.

"Julia!"

She looked up to meet Barnabas' gaze, then reached forward to free him from his restraints. The cavern was beginning to collapse and they had to escape. The only exit was the flight of stone stairs. Julia helped Barnabas to his feet, but the loss of blood from his still open wound had weakened him and his knees buckled.

Rocks and stones were beginning to shake loose from the fissures. Knowing she could not give in to the fear and anxiety she was feeling, Julia pushed it all away, concentrating instead on getting Barnabas and herself to safety.

Julia slipped her arm about Barnabas' waist while putting his arm over her shoulder. They moved away from the table and toward the flight of stone stairs. Rocks, stones, dirt and debris, and a few small boulders continued to fall from the cavern ceiling. Julia could see large cracks beginning to form in the stone of the stairs, but she was determined that she and Barnabas make it to safety.

Calling on reserves of strength and sheer will, Barnabas kept pace with Julia. He had to lean on her more than he liked, but not as much as his condition suggested he should.

They were five steps from the top - and escape - when the stone stairway began to crumble in the middle. Julia cried out and pushed herself forward as fast as she could. She reached out to grab the less than securely anchored railing on the stone balcony and pulled them both to safety just as the stone from the top step gave way and crashed to the cavern below. Barnabas caught hold of the railing as well, and held tightly to it, pressing Julia to him as they caught their breath.

Knowing they couldn't rest, Julia looked up to meet Barnabas' gaze for a moment, then turned toward the wall panel leading back to the house. It had slid shut part of the way, but Julia leaned against it, pushing it open once more. She stumbled through, pulling Barnabas with her.

"Julia..."

He was breathing hard, blood still seeping from his chest wound. She had to treat him, but the room was not safe. Plaster and dust were falling from cracks in the ceiling and walls, and sparks were shooting from the electrical sockets.

Julia looked around the room quickly. She spotted the belt Barnabas had been wearing still draped across the back of a chair. Carefully, Julia steered Barnabas over to the bed and helped him to sit. She grabbed the belt from the back of the chair and took a pillow from the middle of the bed, stripping off the protective case. She positioned the pillow over Barnabas' chest wound and used the belt to hold it securely in place. She buckled the belt across his chest so there was pressure on the wound to help stop the bleeding, but not tightly enough to interfere with his breathing.

"Julia, go... it is... you..."

"Barnabas, be quiet."

Her tone left no room for argument and he was quickly losing strength. Pulling a blanket from the floor, Julia wrapped it around Barnabas to keep him warm, then once more helped him to his feet. They stumbled through the bedroom door and into the hallway just as the overhead bedroom light fixture shorted out, the sparks catching in the drapes and starting them afire.

They were almost to the garage door when a cloud of smoke billowed into their path. From the smoke, Steven Webster began to take shape.

"You will not escape me, Julia. We are bound together through all eternity."

He laughed deeply and held his hand out toward her, palm up. In his palm was her pearl ring. Julia stared at it a moment then hesitantly reached out to take it from him.

Barnabas slumped heavily against her, and just as she was about to touch the ring, Julia pulled back, beginning to recite the words of a binding spell she had learned to protect herself and those for whom she cared. Julia would not allow herself to wonder if the spell was strong enough to hold Steven for long. She only cared it would hold him or distract him until they could escape.

"No... no!..."

Webster's image faded into the smoke. Julia braved going through it and out the door to the garage. Robert Nitz's car was still there, even though she had seen no sign of their host. Julia was about to put Barnabas in the car when another flash of memory let her know to use the car would be walking right into Steven's hands.

"Barnabas, let's go."

"The car..."

"No. I'll explain later."

She led him to the garage door, unlocked it, and they moved into the night. The storm had ceased, but behind them the house was beginning to collapse into itself, flames coming from the windows and roof.

Moving as quickly as Barnabas could, they stumbled down the length of the private drive and back to the main road. Julia looked both ways, then across the blacktopped road. She helped Barnabas over the pavement and down a slight embankment on the other side. Clumps of brush and small trees provided an area of natural cover and Julia eased Barnabas to the ground. She tucked the blanket around him tightly as he breathed heavily.

"Stay here. I'll get help."

"Julia..."

He caught her hand and met her eyes. She smiled gently and nodded.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. Stay here."

"... Yes..."

Barnabas closed his eyes. Julia watched him a moment, then hurried back to the road and the disabled car.

* * * * *

"Julia..."

Barnabas felt warm, gentle fingers wrap around his; heard movement near his head.

"I'm right here, Barnabas. You'll be fine."

"My chest..."

"I know. It will hurt for awhile, but you're going to be all right. Rest. I'll be here when you wake up."

He weakly squeezed the hand wrapped around his, drifting back to sleep.

When Barnabas next woke, he was able to open his eyes. He was not where he remembered being. He licked his lips and swallowed.

"... Julia..."

Movement nearby caused him to turn his head. Collins saw he was in a hospital room and Julia was in the chair beside his bed.

"Where..."

She smiled gently as she took his hand in hers.

"You're at Wyndecliffe. I got the car, got you into it and drove back here. Your wound has been treated, the blood replaced, and you're being given antibiotics to fight off possible infection. Now all you need is some rest."

"Webster?"

"I don't know. The house burned to the ground, but when authorities arrived to investigate, all they found was evidence of an old campfire."

"You?"

"I'm all right, Barnabas."

She gave him a strong smile and once again Barnabas Collins returned to sleep.

Barnabas looked up when Julia entered his room. He was strong enough to be out of the hospital but not strong enough to make the return journey to Collinsport, so Julia had him moved to her private apartment on the hospital grounds until he recovered more of his strength.

Collins quietly endured her examination of his chest wound, and waited until after Julia had changed the dressing before he spoke.

"Well?"

"A few more days here, then I'll take you back to the Old House and turn you over to Willie's care."

"And are you fully recovered, Julia?"

She met his gaze and bit her lower lip, then sighed and nodded as she sat in the chair beside Barnabas' bed.

"Yes. My memory returned while were still in the cavern, after Steven was injured."

"All of your memory?"

"Yes, including what happened those three days I was missing and how I came to be in Eagle Hill where you found me."

"Webster?"

"Yes. Posing as Robert Nitz, he made an appointment to see me at Wyndecliffe."

"Now I understand why you were so uneasy around Nitz, why your desire to leave was so strong."

"I knew he was not to be trusted, that we were not safe under his roof, but because my memories were gone, I couldn't express that."

"I am sorry, Julia. Please, go on if it is not too difficult for you."

Julia nodded and swallowed hard. She needed to share this with Barnabas.

"When Nitz arrived for the appointment, I immediately recognized him as Steven. I was not pleased to see him, but I did understand why he used a false name. Had he used his real name, I would have refused him an appointment."

"He treated you so poorly?"

"Steven was never physically, or even mentally abusive, but he was very secretive. Eventually I came to realize I couldn't trust him, and that made me examine our relationship very closely. I also realized I didn't love him, and called off the marriage two days before the wedding. When I saw him enter my office, I thought he had come to talk about that."

"He had other intentions?"

"Yes. I knew he'd always had an interest in the occult. He tried to interest me as well. Perhaps that is why I was able to recognize your curse when I was first treating Maggie. Not having seen Steven for over ten years, I had no way of knowing he had begun to study and follow the ways of the Black Arts in earnest. He came to se me... to get even, to get his revenge.

"Steven had given me that pearl ring I always wore. I tried to return it - more than once - but he always refused. It was through that ring he was able to gain control of my will. I suppose he hypnotised me in a way. He placed a specific set of instructions in my subconscious, then left. At the end of the day, those instructions took hold. He was waiting for me in the parking lot. We drove to his house, the one he - as Nitz - took us to. There he proceeded to... steal my memories, take my identity. He did so in such a way that conventional methods of treatment would be ineffective."

"And when he was certain he had been successful, he returned you to Eagle Hill."

Julia nodded.

"Yes. He realized, through my memories, that it had significance to both of us."

"And your dream?"

"That too was part of the subconscious instructions, so we would be drawn to that road at that time. He even provided the storm for us."

"But he did not allow for your strong determination, Julia."

"Perhaps, or... perhaps he did not fully comprehend the strength of our relationship. He was unwilling to believe we could be so close because his involvement with me did not have the strength and trust you and I share."

Barnabas nodded and hesitantly reached for Julia's hand.

"That has been an asset more times than I can count."

Julia just nodded.

"So when you injured Webster..."

"His control, his ability to block my memories was broken, and they returned."

Barnabas nodded thoughtfully, beginning to better understand the events of the past few weeks.

"Julia, I must ask you... What was that incantation you spoke when Webster emerged from the smoke?"

"It was a simple binding spell, Barnabas, to prevent Steven from harming us further. It wasn't a very strong one, but it did serve to confuse him and protect us until we could get out of the house. I asked Eliot to teach me it. I felt it a wise precaution to know some simple but effective way to protect myself and those I care about, given our less than conventional adversaries."

Barnabas squeezed Julia's hand lightly and met her gaze. He smiled, pleased to be among those for whom she cared.

"I'm glad you're back, Julia. I missed you. I missed seeing..."

He glanced away quickly, not really able to voice what he'd felt when Julia's memories were blocked, and she unable to recall what they shared. Feeling Julia lace her fingers through his, Barnabas looked back to meet her gaze again.

"I know, Barnabas. I could see that it your eyes, your manner, even though I couldn't remember why. I'm glad to be back as well."

Slowly their gazes locked. Barnabas brought Julia's hand to his mouth and he kissed the back of it tenderly. Both smiled, love and devotion evident in both pair of eyes.

* * * * *

* * * * *

Terry S. Bowers

April 2, 1999

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