A Suitable Fate

Terry S. Bowers
July 6, 2000

*"You will think of a suitable fate for her."*....

His words, his orders continue to echo in my mind, even though I refuse to give them any thought, refuse to obey them. I don't know what you could have done, Julia, to anger Jeb so; to make him dislike you - hate you - so. Perhaps you did nothing. Jeb needs no reason, he follows no logic I can understand, he reacts on instinct alone. Considering his true nature, I can expect nothing less, even though I try to persuade him to conform to human standards of behavior. He never will, perhaps he cannot. He is who he is, who he is destined to be. I am not who I was, my destiny is tenuous and elusive, save for you. I know you are part of my destiny, Julia.

I do not understand why Jeb is so determined to have you eliminated. He wants to be rid of Maggie, and Amy as well, but you... He seems to have singled you out as an especially dangerous enemy. The... relish in his voice when he ordered me to determine a suitable fate for you... it sent a shiver up my spine, and made me more afraid for you than I have ever been before... Perhaps he perceives you as a threat to the success of his fate. Perhaps, somehow, he knows how important you are to me and is testing me, my loyalty to him, to the Levithians and to the cause. Perhaps he is trying to 'teach me a lesson' for my refusal to kill you when he ordered it as Michael; or perhaps he is simply enjoying the power he now wealds - over me, over all of us, and is amusing himself with it. I do not know. I do not care. Now, as before, I will not do as he says concerning you, Julia. I will not kill you or allow you to be killed, I will not determine a fate suitable to the Levithians for you.

Jeb will accept nothing short of your death, or your conversion to the ways of Leviathan. I already know your conversion is not possible, a fact for which I am increasingly grateful with each passing day - each passing hour. As much as I do not want to involve you in this, Julia, as much as I have tried to keep you safe and uninvolved, I, more than anything, do not want you to climb those stairs, enter that room, and change your very form; become a creature such as he. I know I must turn to you for help, trust you as I have so many times before, know that your immunity to the Leviathan way will be my salvation.

Perhaps my journey toward that salvation will begin in only a few hours. Minutes ago you confronted me in the foyer at Collinwood, telling me of the empty coffin you discovered when you dug up Michael Hackett's grave, and what that discovery means to you. I realized then you do know a great deal, and are far more involved than I ever imagined you to be, or wanted you to be, but you do not know all of it, the worst of it, and I agree, I must tell you. Now, as we walk toward the Old House, where I have promised to tell you the entire story, I watch you, savoring the fact I no longer need to lie to you, no longer feel the need to treat you an the enemy. I am anticipating the ability to share with you again. I have missed that so very much, Julia, just as I have missed the time we once spent together. I want nothing more than to reach out for you, envelope you and protect you any way I can, but I know I cannot do that. I must keep Jeb from learning what I am about to do for as long as possible, and to achieve that, I fear we must appear to still be at odds with each other, at least when we are around those who are under the control of the Levithians. I am certain that when Jeb learns how much you are soon to know and understand, he will take on his true form, torment you, terrorize you,... abuse you, then kill you in the same manner as he killed Stoddard and Sheriff Davenport, but much more slowly. It can not - it will not - happen.

I do not know what will come next, what will follow after I tell you what I must. I do know I welcome your help and will do all I can, limited though it may be, to protect you from Jeb, from the Levithians, from what he may deem to be a suitable fate for you. We disagree violently on that particular matter, Jeb and I, for in my mind, your suitable fate is one in which we continue to work together, continue to be friends. Perhaps your suitable fate is to be more than my friend, more than my protector and confidant. I cannot know what the Fates have planned for us, Julia, but I will do all I can to be certain we both have a chance to learn what that future may be for us. I know my actions do not always reflect how much I value our friendship and your loyalty. I do what I must to protect those I love. Yes, even you, Julia. But in the privacy of my mind, in the thoughts I share with no one but myself, I know the truth of my feelings. Your suitable fate, Julia, is to somehow be with me, as my fate is to be with you - in whatever form that relationship may take. If we are both to perish battling the Leviathans, so be it, but I will not harm you or allow you to be harmed in any way, Julia. I cannot harm you. We are each other's destinies.
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