Change

Terry S. Bowers

October 26, 2000

Standing in the hallway outside the parallel time room, Julia Hoffman distractedly watched the seemingly deserted room. There had been little activity in the room in recent days, and Julia assumed the occupant, Alexis, had been relocated to different quarters. She could only guess it was because they too had discovered the existence of parallel time and did not want to needlessly expose anyone to the dangers that being in this room that was a gateway into another existence could present.

Julia had not seen Barnabas in the room for several days, and hoped it was simply a matter of not being there at the same time as he. It concerned Julia that she had not seen Barnabas, even though she sensed no danger or fear from him, only a need, a desire for blood that he was trying to resist. She knew sooner or later the blood lust would become too powerful for Barnabas to conquer, and he would be forced to succumb.

Fascinated by the feedback she was getting from Barnabas, Julia closed her eyes, distantly feeling his needs as her own. Once again she tried to force the barrier, tried to press herself against it in the hope it would weaken and she could pass through. It was futile Julia knew, but still she had to try.

A sudden feeling of relief and satiation enveloped Julia and she released a gasp of surprise as her eyes flew open. She knew, through her link to Barnabas, by the sensations she was experiencing, that Barnabas had just lost his battle with the blood lust. She felt his needs and desires subside, and a very, very infinitesimal weakening of her link to Barnabas. He no longer needed her. He'd found someone else.

"No, Barnabas..."

Julia closed her eyes and shook her head. No, she could not allow herself to think that. Barnabas would always need her. Perhaps not in the way she would hope; perhaps not as intimately as their weak link had initially established, but he would always need her.

Clenching her fists, Julia's eyes opened and she stared ahead of her, not really seeing the parallel time room before her. She was suddenly angry with Barnabas. All he ever had to do was ask and she would have gladly assisted him any way she could. All it would have taken was a single look from him as he held her in his arms, his lips and fangs grazing her neck and they would not be apart now. But no, Barnabas had chosen to run from her, had chosen to escape her presence rather than accept anything that even hinted at any kind of physical intimacy from her. She didn't know the name of the person Barnabas had found to assuage his needs, but she could provide a very accurate description of his new... associate. Female. Young. Blond or auburn hair. Very pretty. Very gullible and willing to be charmed. Looking for a life better than what she had...

Julia stopped. She could make an endless list, but would not allow herself to do so. All it really meant was that Barnabas would rather turn to a complete stranger and risk exposure than ask her for what they both knew she would give him.

"Damn you, Barnabas."

Julia swallowed back her anger, knowing it to be unfairly directed at Barnabas. He was doing what he felt was right; what he felt he had to do in order to preserve her continued safety and health. They had a silent understanding that Barnabas would never hurt her. He needed her as a part of his life too much to risk her safety - her life - in any way, but especially by using her as a safe blood source. Julia knew it made perfect sense, but that did not change the fact she suddenly felt as though she were being cast off as no longer useful; ignored and dismissed as some insignificant annoyance.

Again Julia swallowed hard and took a deep breath to calm herself. She would not allow herself to give in to these emotions, to the jealousy she suddenly felt. She had learned long ago that Barnabas did not respond well to jealous women, and she would not betray or destroy the trust and friendship they'd built since that learned lesson. She shook her head and clamped down on all the emotions in which she did not want to indulge. They would simply get in the way of what she had to do - find some way to bring Barnabas home.

That did not, however, lessen the anxiety and sense of loss Julia felt when she realized her tenuous link to Barnabas had been weakened just a little bit more. She could no longer feel his presence in her mind as strongly as she once had. That link had never been exceedingly strong, but now it was even less so. Julia didn't like it.

Staring into the room but not seeing its contents, Julia fixed her gaze on some invisible spot that was located neither in the time band she knew or anywhere in parallel time. It was somewhere she had never been, but knew it to be the place where her link with Barnabas was strongest. She concentrated and reached out with her mind to touch Barnabas' mind. This night, her message to him changed, in response to the changes she felt within.

Barnabas?