Episode Summary

[Kate's Crab House]
This week's episode starts us off in lovely, if not fictitious,
Crisfield, Maryland. Billy shows up at Crab's Kate House one more time,
to say good-bye to Sam, but not before speaking his mind. Okay, so you
thought that would pretty much wrap up this scene, but no, Billy
actually says something, namely how Sam is blind to what her mother is
trying to do. He says, "She is manipulating you into staying here, for
her own sake, because that's what she wants, what she needs. It's all
about her guilt." What Billy has to offer Sam is so much better. After
all, he just wants to manipulate her into going back to California with
him, for his sake, because that's what he wants, what he needs! He feels
guilty for causing her to run away. He adds, "We've come so far
together, you know that? We have our whole lives ahead of us. Why do you
want to throw that away?" Sam shakes her head and says she needs to
think of herself for a change. Billy makes one last grab and feel but
Sam backs off. Billy leaves. Sam returns to the restaurant, where her
mom tries to cheer her up by telling her the big plans for the
weekend... going to a swap meet on Saturday and a picnic with a gang on
Sunday. Boy, I hope the rest of Maryland is a little more exciting than
Crisfield. But maybe I simply misunderstood Kate, and a swap meet is
what Crisfielders call a swinging singles party and she really said they
were going to pick-up a gang, not picnic with one, on Sunday... Kate
adds that she just wants to try to be the mother that she wasn't before.
Sam says to her, "It wasn't you. You were a good mother. It was dad. He
was the bad mutha." This makes Kate feel good, she reads the same lines
Billy just muttered minutes earlier ("You have you're whole life ahead
of you, blah, blah, blah), and everyone's happy!

[Royal Beach Hotel, Room 254]
Lexi and Peter are gasping for breath, and by the close-up shot of the
way her big toe is curled, you know they must've just had sex. "Don't
you ever get tired?" she begs to know. Peter is rather intrigued about
the other woman that Coop fell in love with, so Lexi gives the Reader's
Digest version of what happened back in the Midwest. She explains that
the woman was in a coma when Coop fell in love with her, which could've
just been the necrophiliac in him. She adds, "Then Snow White woke up
and I couldn't compete with her," although I would've used Little Red
Riding Hood to describe her myself. Lexi mentions the woman's first name
was Kimberly. Peter's jaw drops, and he asks, "Not Kimberly Shaw?"
(After all, Kimberly is such an unusual name!) Lexi is surprised that
Peter knows her, and he explains that she was a doctor at Wilshire
Memorial. The two of them, obviously still somewhat oxygen-deprived from
spanking the bedsprings a moment ago, wonder if Coop could be in L.A.
for some ulterior motive. Duh.

[Burns-Mancini-Coop Medical Office]
Michael tells Megan he's been seeing a therapist. Knowing Michael, this
would mean that's who he's currently cheating with. But Megan doesn't
care, and she tells Michael it's over between them. In fact, she's given
her two-week notice, leaving the only job she had where dictation didn't
require getting down on her knees. Then Eric Baines calls the office,
and insists that she call him Eric. He asks her out for a date on Friday
night. She doesn't accept, but tells him she'll check her colander
first, which reminds her it's time for lunch so she leaves for a salad
bar.

[AWA]
AWA, aka Amanda Woodward Advertising. No, not as much fun as wondering
what D&D stood for, but then again, the writers must've felt this was
taking away too much attention from the show, and that the viewers were
becoming confused. Instead, chalk up another company named after the
main character most closely related to it. Amanda finds Eric making
himself "at home" at her desk, where he had just placed that call to
Megan at that other place of business named after some other
people-on-the-show. Amanda overhears Eric instructing one of the
secretaries (yes, this is one business that still has secretaries,
rather than administrative assistants) to send Megan flowers on a daily
basis. Amanda warns Eric he might not hit a home run with Mrs. Mancini.
He asks, "Are you jealous?" She laughs and has him leave.

[Kyle's the Restaurant]
Kyle brings Taylor a big brown box. He tells her it's for her and the
baby, a present from his mother and father. She opens it and finds a
teddy bear, wrapped in layers and layers of bubble wrap, his parents
figuring it might get broken during shipping. At least, now I know why
Kyle isn't the smartest person around, considering the way his parents
think. Taylor exclaims, "It's a Mr. Max teddy bear!" A Mr. Max? I guess
this must've been the stuffed toy left on the shelves last Christmas
after the Tickle-Me-Elmo's were gone. Then Taylor makes the mistake of
giving her opinion on how Kyle should treat Amanda. Kyle tells her to
mind her own business.

[MP Courtyard]
Craig is sitting by the pool. Jennifer brings him a plate full of
cookies, telling him she baked them herself. Craig questions her
culinary skills, and she admits they're store-bought. Jennifer asks him
if he's decided what to do with his inheritance, and Craig replies that
he's going on a cruise. He explains that for so many years, he used to
sit in his tower and look out at the ocean, but never really got to feel
its power underneath him. People were always drowning or some other
emergency kept coming up each and every week. Well, this talk about
riding a Love Boat really infuriates Jennifer, who tells him a cruise is
a stupid idea and that he should've invested the money in stocks. Lucky
for Craig that he didn't since the Dow happened to plummet over 500
points this Melrose Monday! Listening to Jennifer ranting, Craig figures
out that she was the one who spoke with Mr. Andrews and changed his mind
regarding the inheritance check. Craig tells her that even if the cruise
is a stupid decision, at least it's his decision. He starts to walk away
so Jennifer blurts out that she'll miss him. He stops momentarily, turns
around, and tells Jennifer that she's not his type for him.

[Billy's Apt]
Billy arrives home to find a couple of warm bodies in his apt. One is a
nice cabernet, the other is pouring it. Billy gets all goo-goo eyed,
finding Sam there waiting for him. They skip dinner and go right to the
dessert. The next morning, Billy and Sam are in the missionary position.
Now, while most people in this position would be ready to come, Billy is
ready to go. He cries out in ecstasy, "Oh, I'm going, I'm going! Oh yes,
I'm going!" He gets out of bed goes to work to interview a graphic
artist for Amanda Woodward Advertising.

[Wilshire Memorial]
Michael informs Taylor that the tests prove she is not pregnant. She
panics, telling Michael that Kyle gave her a teddy bear. Michael can
only wonder if this has the same implications as when he gives a girl a
teddy. Michael tells Taylor she might as well tell Kyle the truth, the
sooner the better. Instead, Taylor pouts, trying to think of what to do
next. Meanwhile, Michael leaves and heads for Dr. William Charette's
office, the Family Therapist. Why he's not seeing a couple's therapist
is another question. The same question must've popped into Michael's
head because just as he's about to enter the office, he turns around and
starts to leave. Coop runs into Michael and comments about Michael
seeing a therapist. Michael stutters for a moment, until Coop assures
him seeing a therapist is no big deal, and admits he even saw one for
awhile. Coop explains he was trying to use a cauterizer on a patient but
the instrument slipped out of his hands and the patient died. Coop then
comments how awkward the cauterizer is to use, let alone say, and that
someone should invent a more elegant instrument, more like a glove or a
finger attachment, which could be called The E.T. Coop leaves to finish
rounds and Michael is left in the hallway, looking at his hand and
thinking about what Coop had just said.

[Burns-Mancini-Coop Medical Office]
Instead of going to the therapist, Michael goes back to the
Burns-Mancini-Coop Medical Office where Megan is ready for anyone who
wants to give her some good dictation. Michael describes the invention
as a finger-less glove which covers the palm and pinkie, the cauterizer
being at the end of the little finger, allowing the rest of the fingers
to perform other medical operations. Megan gets a delivery of flowers
from Eric, although he's really just wasting his money since Megan seems
to be keeping them in vases UNDER her desk rather than on it. She
reaches down to show Michael the other bouquet that was delivered.
Michael can't believe she's accepting these gifts, causing Megan to get
upset, so she calls Eric and accepts a date with him for Friday night.

[Upstairs at Kyle's]
Jennifer enters to give Kyle the cash bag from the bar. Kyle is just
hanging up the phone, and he tells Jennifer he lost the Boston
restaurant. Jennifer asks, "Did you look in Chicago?" then adds how she
has fond memories of the place. Just then, Amanda comes in, and kicks
Jennifer out. Kyle tells her to take it easy, but Amanda defends herself
saying, "It's just frustrating. Every time I turn around, one of you
ex-lovers pops up." She brings up Taylor and how she's scheming to get
him back, and Kyle tells her to stop being so paranoid and that she's
being the problem lately. Amanda says she doesn't want to fight, so Kyle
changes the subject and tells Amanda he lost the lease to his Boston
restaurant. He's very upset, saying "I mean, the rug was ripped out from
underneath me so fast, I didn't even have a chance to catch my
balance... If I only kept a closer watch, it wouldn't have happened."
It's only been a whole year since Kyle moved to Melrose, and he's spent
every minute since then watching the sway of Amanda's "back bay," that
he lost sight of Boston's! As Amanda leaves, she runs into Taylor in the
main area of the jazz club. She tells Taylor that Kyle isn't in his
office, then the two exchange their normal barbs regarding Kyle and the
baby. As Taylor starts to head back downstairs, Amanda grabs her by the
arm and says, "You already messed up my relationship with Peter. And
nobody messes with me twice." Taylor replies, "And I'm not nobody." Then
she tries to free herself from Amanda's grip, and in doing so, she loses
her balance and tumbles down the stairs to Kyle's the Restaurant.
Everyone in the dining room looks over and wonders what that dark-haired
blob is curled up at the bottom of the stairs. Amanda gasps

[Wilshire Memorial]
Taylor wakes up, cuddling Mr. Max and wondering where she is. Kyle is by
her side, and tells her she took a nasty fall at the club. She asks Kyle
where he was last night since she went to see him at his office but
Amanda told her he wasn't there. He tells her he was there, all night
long. Then Michael enters, and breaks the news that she "lost the baby."
One thing about those McBrides, they always seem to be losing things.

[AWA]
Sam shows up at Billy's office to apply for the graphic artist position.
She promises that if he hires her, she promises to show Billy a few
other positions, morning, noon, and night. She gives Billy a lap dance
and a couple kisses and he hires her.

[Burns-Mancini-Coop Medical Office]
Dr. Cooper catches Peter is rifling through his office, so Peter
explains that the patients are getting restless and he was simply
looking for Michael. Coop looks at him strangely, then mentions Michael
is probably at therapy. Peter is interested in any dirt on Michael that
Coop can provide. Coop is amazed that Peter and Michael have stayed
partners this long. Coop admits he isn't the fondest of Michael either,
so Peter asks him for a favor, namely to find out if Michael's hands are
well enough to do surgery (although, even when his hands were normal,
Michael was never good enough to do surgery!) However, Peter made a deal
with Michael regarding getting his job back as Chief-of-Staff as soon as
his hands had recovered, so Peter is extremely interested in Michael's
progress. Coop agrees to find out about Michael and leaves for the
hospital, while Peter resumes scrounging around Coop's desk. He finds a
couple documents that light up his eyes.

[Wilshire Memorial]
Speaking of Chief-of-Staff, Michael is busy in a staff meeting at the
hospital when Jennifer busts in. That's right, she's wearing yet another
one of her low-cut outfits. She pulls Michael aside, telling him she
wants him to get Craig to invest in his new invention. Michael doesn't
want Craig involved, and questions why Jennifer is so interested in
Michael's invention. Jennifer admits she's trying to become the "woman
by Craig's side." Michael tries to discourage her by saying, "You know
what? You're only going to end up hurt. Craig's married to a dead woman.
Until he gets over that, you can never have a healthy relationship."
Jennifer replies, "Oh, you're the one to talk about a healthy
relationship?" No, he's the one to talk about being married to a dead
woman!

[Peter's Condo]
Peter has Lexi over for some early evening fondling. He starts kissing
the nape of her neck causing her to coo, "I feel like I'm in the back of
my father's convertible." Okay, so she may have only had one man in her
life (Coop), so I guess her father doesn't count. Peter continues with
foreplay the only way a doctor knows how, by waving medical records in
front of Lexi's face. Actually, they're Coop's accounting records. She
admits this is why she came into town in the first place, but tells
Peter she's also found something better and starts barking like a dog.
Obviously, she hasn't gotten any since she and Coop split up years ago.

[MP, Kyle's Apt]
Amanda stops by to find out why Kyle is moping around. He informs her
that Taylor lost the child. She says she's sorry, but Kyle questions her
sincerity. She says she may be a heartless woman, but that doesn't mean
she doesn't care. Kyle confronts Amanda about lying to Taylor about his
whereabouts at the jazz club last night. Amanda uses the old "I was
jealous" crutch that Kyle knows oh so well. Still, Kyle is disgusted and
he walks out in need of a drink.

[Michael's Office, Wilshire Memorial]
Coop stops by Michael's office, sees Michael busy jotting down notes in
a notebook, and comments on how well Michael's hand seems to be
recovering. Michael immediately drops the pen he was holding. Coop then
tells Michael he's been thinking about a new cauterizing tool, a
finger-less glove with the cauterizer in the pinkie. Michael tells Coop
it's a stupid idea, would never, work, and if it did, it would've been
invented already. Then Michael ushers Coop out and back to their medical
practice with some requisitions for Megan. As soon as Coop leaves,
Michael gets on the horn with Jennifer and orders her to get Craig and
his money. Jennifer immediately gets the gears turning, delaying the
cruise from boarding by calling in an anonymous tip that an infectious
disease is on board the ship.

[Taylor's Room, Wilshire Memorial]
Amanda pays Taylor a visit in the hospital, and as part of her modus
operandi, Amanda offers Taylor flowers, an apology, and a free ride in
her Jag anywhere she wants to go.

[Seaside Cruise Lines]
Michael and Jennifer find Craig standing around on the docks with all
the other passengers, the boarding of the ship having been delayed due
to the anonymous phone call. Jennifer tells Craig she understands what
he meant earlier when he said she wasn't his type, then points to her
brother and says, "Michael needs you." They explain that Michael needs
money to fund the prototype of his invention. Craig warns them he knows
nothing about the medical industry, which is perfect, because they only
want him for his money anyway. Craig says there are many things he wants
in life, but an infectious disease isn't one of them, so he abandons the
idea of the cruise. But if he's so worried about infectious disease,
why'd he sleep around with Jennifer?

[Upstairs Jazz Club]
Megan and Eric are having martinis at the bar. Is it me, or is this the
only drink they seem to serve upstairs?  Eric is laying the compliments
on thicker than her makeup. Megan's eating up every line, too, and gets
so excited she excuses herself for a minute to either powder her nose or
insert her diaphragm. While she's gone, Eric comments to Kyle, "I'm
sorry to hear you lost your restaurant. That's a tough break." Kyle
seems a bit surprised Eric knew and asks, "Who told you?" Eric manages
to extract his size 13 foot from his mouth in time to answer, "Oh, uh, I
guess Amanda said something. It's really a shame." Kyle chuckles,
finding the fact that they finally agreed on something sort of humorous.

[Streets of Melrose]
Billy and Sam are strolling hand-in-hand down the sidewalk after seeing
"Roman Holiday" starring Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck. Sam giggles,
saying she never knew he was such a romantic. "No shit, Sherlock" Billy
quips. She laughs uncontrollably. She tells him she doesn't think she
should take the job at the agency because it might jeopardize his job
there. She explains that workers were talking, saying the only reason
she got the job is because she's her girlfriend., "Okay, you won't be my
girlfriend. You'll be my wife. 'Cuz I wuv you, I weawwy doo." He gets
down on one knee and proposes to her. Then some guy walking by with a
saxophone in his mouth, a common occurrence in West Hollywood, starts
playing "Here Comes the Bride." Oh yeah, if anybody cares, she says yes.

[MP, Amanda's Apt]
Kyle enters Amanda's place. She didn't know if he was going to stay over
that night. Kyle heard how "nice" she was to Taylor earlier today, and
he tells Amanda it really helped Taylor. Amanda admits it really helped
her, too. Amanda suggests he go down and comfort Taylor tonight. Kyle
agrees and leaves. She goes to the window to watch him as he enters
Taylor's apartment. Then she sees Megan returning home with Eric.
Speaking of Gregory Peck, Megan says goodnight gives Eric a peck. Megan
goes inside, and Eric turns and looks up towards Amanda's window. Amanda
quickly flings the curtains in front of her, although not before Eric
catches her looking at him. The scene ends with that all-too familiar
guitar riff wailing as the scene slo-mos to an end.

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