(Opening)
[Police, West Hollywood Division]
Peter bails Coop out of jail and the two of them leave the West Hollywood Division. Funny, but last week wasn't Coop in the Los Angeles County Jail downtown? I guess the writers figure the viewers are so bored with the current cast, they'll probably sleep through this blooper. Anyway, Peter explains he's bailing Coop out of jail in order to keep their medical practice afloat. As a gesture of thanks, Coop immediately yells at Peter to keep his nose out of Coop's personal affairs. Michael then zooms up in his convertible, yelling out accusations at Coop about trying to shoot him at the beach house. Coop, obviously forgetting that wrinkling
Michael's suit is what got him in the brink in the first place, grabs Michael by the lapels and starts demonstrating Shaken Baby Syndrome. Peter breaks them up, telling Michael it would've been impossible for Coop to try to shoot him, considering Coop was in jail at the time, and that Michael should think about who hates him so much that he would want him dead, which doesn't really help Michael narrow the field any.

[MP Courtyard]
Coop arrives back at the apartment complex, and as he passes the mailboxes, a hand reaches out and grabs him. It's Kimberly... Kimberly's mom, that is. Coop exclaims, "My God, it was you," figuring out Mrs. Shaw was the one who tried to kill Michael at the beach house earlier. Mrs. Shaw explains she just wanted to scare Michael, but when he said Kimberly's name, she realized that Kimberly was dead and Michael was alive, and that a prank was no longer good enough. The gun went off, as well as her sanity. She rants and raves and if I didn't know better, I would say Michael is right, Kimberly is alive and well. Coop has Mrs. Shaw give him the gun and tells her he has doctor friends back in Ohio who can help her. She can't believe he wants her go admit herself to a
sanitarium, but he tells her it's either that or jail. She hugs him.

[Upstairs Jazz Club]
Kyle and Amanda gather the staff and inform them that tomorrow night is the last night of the restaurant and club. My, how time flies in the land where births take seven months rather than nine and thirty days pass in the blink of an eye. Amanda can't take it anymore and heads outside for some fresh air, where she runs into Eric's limo. He tells her the offer still stands, saying "I'm available tonight, as a matter of fact, and could have you home for breakfast." Amanda stares at him saying "And it doesn't matter that I'd lie there like a log, hating every moment of it." New Revelation: Logs hate it when you use them for sex. Eric gives her
until 8 o'clock tomorrow night to bark like a tree.
(Roll Opening Credits)

(1st Segment)
[Beach House]
Michael returns to the beach house, only to find the front door wide open, the place still a mess, and a mysterious figure lurking on the back patio. He sneaks around the back as the stranger enters through the patio door. He pursues and tackles the person, who lets out a shriek. It's Megan. As it turns out, this the closest he's come to jumping her bones in a long time. She tells the maniac to get off of her, which he does, all th while explaining that someone took shots at him last night. Same dumb Megan, oblivious to the overturned living room, asks "Why didn't you call? I waited and waited."

[Streets of West Hollywood]
Sam is giving Jennifer a ride to work in her Sydney-killing-mobile. Sam pops in a cassette tape of wedding music she needs to listen to, and the first song is Herb Alpert, her favorite. Gawd, she might as well play ABBA at the wedding. Worked well for Muriel. Jennifer is impressed how Sam and Billy are able to spin their magic despite all their adversity. Sam comments she thought Jennifer and Craig had the same thing. Jennifer lets out a verbal fart. She says she and Craig have more of a "business thing." Jennifer mentions that if she even mentions the commitment, or "any of its 300 synonyms, the guy shuts down faster than a toy without batteries." Sam laughs, picturing her Tickle-Me-Elmo not vibrating, while Jennifer shudders, thinking about the day her D-cell "toy" stopped vibrating. Jennifer wishes she were getting married. Sam suggests that having the right boy helps and that maybe Craig just isn't. But Jennifer tells Sam she's got too much invested in Craig already for him not to be the right one.

[Peter's Marina Condo]
Coop drops by to pay back Peter for bailing him out. Only Lexi answers the door, so they exchange their usual jibes, ending with the weekly obligatory face slap. It was a pretty good one from Coop: "Even in a coma, Kimberly had more sex appeal." Coop wishes Peter luck in turning Lexi around. Lexi, meanwhile, runs upstairs and pops a couple more Diazepam. She realizes she's reached the end of her prescription.

(2nd Segment)
[Burns-Mancini-Coop Medical Office]
It's only around midnight, or so it seems, and we find Coop talking on the phone in his office. Megan arrives, Michael having given her job back. Why she feels she needs to show up at the office this late is also a mystery. She overhears Coop making some sort of arrangements with a doctor in Cleveland, but Megan doesn't know the arrangements are for Mrs. Shaw. Coop turns to find Megan standing at his door, and defensively demands, "What do you want, huh?" She explains, although Michael offered her job back, she needed to get the approval of all three partners. Coop figured she's really just a spy for Michael but she reminds him she went to Michael on his behalf while he was in jail to get him to drop the charges. Coop warns her that Michael will destroy her, but she says only if she lets him. Coop's word of wisdom: "Don't." The violins play, and we're supposed to believe there's a moment of tenderness between the two.

[AWA]
Let's hop over to yet another office, Amanda's, where the lights are always burning bright. It's 8 o'clock, and rather than let Eric dip his "pen" in her ink well, she dips her own and signs the agency over to Eric. Then there's a raucous in the other room and Kyle bursts in. Eric tells his goon it's okay, although considering Kyle's already this far, what's a goon to do? Kyle tells Eric, by getting the restaurant and club he's won, so why take the agency too? Eric says he'll extend the deadline by 24 hours, and Amanda know what she has to do if she wants to retain her company. Eric leaves and Kyle asks Amanda what Eric was referring to.Amanda tells him to shut up, saying all he's managed to do is put her through two more days of hell (24 hrs = two days... more Melrose math,
don't even try to understand).

[Peter's Marina Condo]
Lexi is on the phone trying desperately, yet unsuccessfully, to get her prescription refilled. Peter enters as she's hanging up, and notices her odd behavior. She attributes it to coming down with something. Peter wants to play doctor, suggesting he give her a full examination, but she says she's his lover, not his patient. Little does she know Peter does this to all his lovers. Still, to comfort her, Peter tells her he'll set up an appointment with Dr. Angela Barrett at the hospital.
 

[Field/Mancini Enterprises]
Jennifer is hanging around in Craig's office. She notices he got an invitation to Sam and Billy's wedding, mentions that she got one as well, and asks if he'll take her. Craig reminds her the last wedding he went to didn't work out so well, referring to Syd getting bowled over by a car. Speaking of bowling, it reminds Jennifer that Sam and Billy invited her and Craig on a double-date to go bowling. When he hears this, Craig's ears perk up and he agrees.

(3rd Segment)
[Wilshire Memorial]
As Lexi finishes buttoning up her tight-fitting blouse, Dr. Angela Barrett, says her body is pretty healthy. Lexi mentions she gets a little anxious now and then, hinting that she'd like some tranquilizers prescribed for her. Dr. Angela says she's seen Lexi's medical records and knows she's been on high doses for a few years now, and even if this is L.A., the only thing she'll prescribe is a treatment program.

[MP, Coop's Coop]
Megan drops with some paperwork that needs signing. Coop apologizes for being so suspicious at first, explaining it had to do more with Michael than with her. Something about Megan, but whenever she and Coop are together in the room, Coop needs to be on the phone. Like clockwork, the phone rings, and Coop takes the call in the other room. While he's out, Megan, having just been given the stamp of trust by Coop, proceeds to snoop in his doctor's bag and finds the revolver that Mrs. Shaw had given him earlier as well as an airline ticket.

[South on Sepulveda]
Megan calls Michael from her car. She explains she peeked into Coop's doctor bag and saw a gun. For all Megan knows, this may be as common as a stethoscope for L.A. doctors, but she didn't have anything better to do so she figured she'd follow Coop. Michael asks, "Are you sure?," Michael can't believe it either, that Coop's bag would be without one of his Mancini gloves. She informs Michael that Coop stopped at a hotel, picked up a woman, and is now heading onto Century Blvd. Even ditzy Megan knows
this means one thing... the airport.

[Bowling Alley]
While the wenches are sent to get another round of beer. Sam says she knows that Jennifer is hoping that some of the commitment stuff that she and Billy share will rub off on her and Craig, but Jennifer simply hopes that when Craig puts his fingers in the bowling ball, that it'll remind him of her. Billy and Craig finish up their game. Billy bowls, leaving the 5-pin. Poor Sam! As any avid bowler knows, missing the 5-pin means no sex for 5 years. Billy and Craig start arguing over who won the game, the two of them confused about what an "X" means. Their fighting leads to personal gibes about each others' business tactics (stabbing people in the back, etc.) and before you know it, they start wrestling and bowl each other over the ball return. The girls run over to see what the commotion is about, but by the time they get there, the two weenies are laughing and apologizing and challenging each other to another game, double or nothing. Boy, with all that body contact, how Jennifer must wish she was in Billy's shoes right about then...

[LAX]
Michael arrives and catches Coop with Mrs. Shaw. He runs over and tells Megan to get the police. Coop defends Mrs. Shaw, telling Michael that she's agreed to be taken into custody as soon as she arrives in Cleveland. "Look at her Michael, she's beyond hurting anyone." Michael takes one look at the cheap mascara she's wearing and knows immediately that she needs help. He agrees to let her go back to Ohio, figuring if she wants to go back to Cleveland voluntarily to a sanitarium then she must be crazy.

[Nancy's Coffee Shop]
The foursome are enjoying breakfast after an all-nighter of fun at the bowling alley. Billy asks Craig to be his best man, and Craig accepts, saying he'll have to hurry up and organize the bachelor party. Billy suggests that Sam have Jennifer be the maid of honor, but Sam reminds him she already asked her art school friend from New York, Connie What's-Her-Name. The scene cuts to a big city, and we are informed it's New York. A girl plays back a message from Sam on her answering machine. Sam thanks Connie for agreeing to be her maid of honor, mentions how long it's been since the two of them saw each other and how it'll be a great
wedding. Connie mumbles, "Over my dead body." Either it's been so long since they've seen each other that Sam forgot Connie hated her guts, or New York can make even the sweetest person a callous snot.

[Wilshire Memorial]
Lexi jitters down the hall, like a short-circuited Energizer bunny. She asks Nurse Amy where Peter is, and the nurse informs her Peter's in surgery. Lexi tries to leave, bouncing her way down the corridor when Coop spots her. He can't believe she used up the 20 refills he gave her already. He shakes his head and says, "Peter doesn't know, does he?" "What, that his dream girl is a drug addict?" Lexi replies. See, all you skeptics out there. Melrose does deal with serious topics, just like 90210 and POF. So what if this topic of drug abuse will be remedied in the next 5 minutes of the show, at least they talked about it! Coop writes her a prescription for some more pills.  Lexi begs Coop not to mention this to Peter. Coop has no intention of mentioning it since Peter's his best chance at ending the alimony payments. Coop then gets a phone call, informing him that Mrs. Shaw never made it to Ohio, that she must've gotten off when the plane stopped in Chicago. Hmm, maybe Marion isn't crazy after all.

[Plaza Hotel, Century City]
It's Billy's bachelor party, and while Billy, Craig, and Kyle cozy-up together on a couch, a bunch of guys I've never seen before are over where the action is, watching some blonde strut her stuff. Another woman then enters and heads straight for Craig. It's a hotel employee, and she tells Craig this is his last warning to quiet down. Craig offers her a drink. She smiles, and says he has until 10 pm, at which time she's calling the deputies.

[Wilshire Memorial]
Peter, Coop, Michael, and apparently, the entire staff of surgeons and nurses are all squished together in the O.R., anxiously awaiting the debut of the Mancini glove. Peter dons the Mancini glove, which he places OVER his sterile latex glove. Everyone quiets, as the sizzling sound, like a steak on a barbecue grill, is heard throughout the operating room. "Ah, humans. The other red meat." Peter is rather impressed by the glove and the fact that someone of Michael's limited mental capacity could invent such a device. Outside of the O.R., Megan finds a rent-a-cop standing guard. He tells Megan that the crazy lady never made it to Ohio
so Michael's hired bodyguards to protect him until she's been captured. Megan goes to get a cup of coffee, and then Mrs. Shaw pops out from behind a door. She looks at the rent-a-cop and at Megan walking away down the hall. She leaves, dresses herself in some scrubs, then heads to the operating room. If you thought the cops in L.A. were bad, compared to the rent-a-cops  they're awesome! The bodyguard lets Mrs. Shaw past despite the fact she is glove-less and has big black marks from her cheap eye
makeup. Mrs. Shaw grabs a scalpel from the table and tries to stab Michael in the back, but before she can do so, Megan bursts in and yells for Michael to look out. Megan runs in and grabs Mrs. Shaw's wrist, but the scalpel manages to stab Megan in the belly. Well, she always did want to have a pierced belly button, just like Jo Reynolds. Megan falls to the floor. Michael wrestles the knife away from Mrs. Shaw and the security guards drag her away. Peter remembers he still has an operation to finish, so he continues his searing. Meanwhile, Coop instructs all the glove onlookers to take Megan to O.R.#2 where he'll perform emergency surgery. Michael tells Coop to wait, but Coop tells him there's no time.

[Billy and Sam's Apt]
Billy and Sam wake up in the doggie position. Sam moans, "Mmm, I think I'll send you to bachelor parties more often." Then Sam thinks about what she just said and adds, "You guilty, or you just missing me?" Billy tells her to shut up because he wants to make love to her. But Sam has a different agenda. First, she orders Billy off of her. Then she orders him to get the newspaper, since today is the day their wedding announcement is supposed to come out. When Billy opens the door to retrieve the paper, he's greeted by a pair of long legs and a low-cut top. The woman introduces herself as Connie. Billy lets her in and she and Sam go
through the typical wax-loosening screams when they see each other. Then Sam continues her preview of things to come by demanding that Connie stay with them in the spare bedroom rather than at a hotel. Billy, wanting to show he's wearing the pants in the family, despite only wearing boxer shorts at the time, says, "Sure."

[MP Courtyard]
Jennifer heads over to Craig's apartment, but stops short when she sees the female hotel worker from last night finishing up her room service. Jennifer turns to leave, but Craig stops her, asking her where she's going. She says, with a tear in her eye, that she got the message, and if he didn't want a commitment, all he had to do was say so.  You know, like he's been doing for the past several weeks to a deaf ear.

[Wilshire Memorial]
Coop, Peter, and Michael are hovering over Megan's bed. Peter notes, "Still sleeping." Coop corrects him, saying Megan had an allergic reaction to the anesthetic and went into a coma. When Michael hears this, he figures Coop did it on purpose and threatens a full investigation. That is, until the nurse standing amongst them confirms that Megan went into full cardiac arrest and if it weren't for the  quick thinking of Dr. Coop, Megan would be a dead woman right now. Well, coming from the nurse, Michael accepts it. One thing's for sure, comas aren't like they used to be. In the old days, back when Jack Parezi was in a coma, he had to have big honkin' tubes shoved in his mouth and down his throat. Meanwhile, Megan, a woman who could easily handle a big honkin' tube down her throat, instead sports a tiny little tube placed delicately up her nasal passages. The wonders of medicine.

[Kyle's the Restaurant]
As the last of the boxes are taken away by the movers, Amanda, Kyle, and Taylor find themselves at the bar having the last of the scotch. Taylor suggests a toast, saying, "What should we drink to? I know, selfishness. To selfishness everywhere!" Kyle says he can't find a job anywhere, but figures he could probably get a job at a fast food joint. I know Dave Thomas is always on the lookout. Amanda tells Kyle to stop that sort of talk because it's exactly how Eric wants him to sound. Then Billy arrives and says to Amanda, "Ready to go?" Kyle demands to know where they're going. Billy adds, "Amanda didn't tell you? We found a client that might get us off the hook." Kyle thinks it's great how they came up with someone just under the wire. "Let's do it!" exclaims Amanda (I guess she's practicing that line for when she sees Eric later on). Once outside, Billy asks her what's up, but Amanda won't tell him. He asks if there's actually a chance that the agency will be saved, or if that's a lie, too. Amanda assures him there's a good chance the agency will be saved. Then she has Billy promise he won't say a word of any of this to Kyle. Billy promises, even though he has no clue himself of what's going on. Of course, their whole conversation is overheard by Taylor, who just happens to be leaning out a nearby window.

[Eric Baines' Hotel Suite]
Amanda arrives and learns what it feels like to be Megan on a good night. She looks over the contract which promises to give back the restaurant, club, and agency. Eric says he'll sign them... "afterwards." Then they start with the champagne. Eric approaches her from behind, grasps her by the shoulders, and starts nibbling at the nape of her neck. When she turns, he sees a tear in her eye, which he deems unacceptable. He orders her to stop crying and going to the bathroom to freshen up. He wants this to be just like a summer's eve.

[Upstairs Jazz Club]
Kyle is tinkering at the piano, wishing he had talent, when Taylor enters with a confession. "Kyle, I haven't been honest with you," she admits. Kyle laughs, "Which time? There have been so many." Taylor goes on to leak the news that Amanda is spending a night with Eric in order to save her agency. Some gratitude for saving her restaurant. Taylor tells Kyle if he doesn't believe her, to call Billy and he'll find him home with Sam. Then she adds, "The Kyle I knew would never put up with this." Kyle calls Billy's apt, and when Billy picks up the phone, Kyle hangs up and rushes past the camera.

[Eric Baines' Hotel Suite]
Amanda and Eric are in bed -- Amanda grimacing, Eric drooling. Kyle finds Eric's room. If there were only two things the military taught Kyle, it was sexual harassment and kicking down doors. Kyle thinks for a moment, then figures this is the time to use the latter. Eric and Amanda hear the noise as Kyle's boot slams against the entrance, and by the time Eric runs out Kyle has made his way inside. He grabs Eric and ask him, "Did you do it? Did you sleep with her?" Rather than answer, Eric pushes Kyle away and asks, "What if I said I did?" Kyle tells Eric he's killing him anyway. Eric, who must've forgotten he was without his two thugs,
continues to taunt Kyle by saying, "You don't have the guts." Well, with that, Kyle shoves Eric towards the balcony door. Of course, the door's wide open and Eric flips over the railing of the balcony, but keeps from plunging to his death by grabbing onto the railing. Amanda yells for Eric to save his life, to say they didn't have sex. Eric begs Kyle for help. Kyle grabs Eric's arm, then says, "Save your life, slime ball. Tell me I'm not seeing things."