"Okay then. Tell me what happened."
Maggie took a deep breath and looked at the floor, then at Steve.
"Well, I had just gotten through talking to my father. I had just left his house and was headed home." Steve nodded.
"Anyway, I sped up and then realized that the Telstar was still in front of me so I quickly slowed down. I blared my horn and flashed my lights at her to try and tell her to speed up, but it didn't work. So, next, I just sped up to try to tell her that she needed to go faster, but that didn't work either. I saw the truck getting closer to my car, and I decided that I'd better pass the Telstar or I'd be crushed," Maggie stated, her voice a little shaky.
"I pulled into the other lane and began to pass her except that I didn't look first and had to pull back into my lane to keep from hitting another car head-on. I looked again and saw the lane was clear and pulled out to pass her. I had almost gotten past her when I hit a puddle and skidded to the left. I started spinning out of control and hit a tree, then a telephone pole." Maggie's voice became caught in her throat and she took a minute to compose herself.
"I looked up in time to see the truck hit her back bumper and push her into a telephone pole," she finished with a tear in her eye. "Is that what she said happened?"
"Pretty much," Steve said with a nod. "Her story of course didn't have so much of the detail of the truck trying to ram you. I don't think she figured that out until you had passed her and she became the target."
Maggie nodded.
"Can I see them, now? I want to see if Belinda's okay."
"Sure. I'll take you over there now. I think her mom could use a little company," Steve said as he got out of his seat. Lois stood up and headed out the door toward the waiting room. Sheila sat in the waiting room with her daughter Katie, waiting for news on Belinda's condition. Steve and Maggie approached them, and Maggie sat down in a chair by Sheila.
"How is she?" asked Maggie, worried.
"They haven't come out yet. I don't . . . I don't know what's going on," Sheila said, her voice getting teary.
"I'm sure everything will be fine," Maggie said with encouragement. She put a hand on the other woman's shoulder. Sheila turned and looked at Maggie as if she had just seen her for the first time.
"You know, I don't even know your name," Sheila said with a chuckle.
"Oh! My name is Margaret Doyle."
"As in Pat Doyle?" asked Sheila, questioningly. "Well, it's nice to finally meet his daughter."
Maggie smiled.
"Thank you. And your name is?"
"Sheila Thackerson and this is my daughter Katie."
"Well, it's nice to finally be introduced to you and your daughter," said Maggie as she looked down at Katie's sleeping form. "I'm just sorry we had to meet under these conditions."
"That makes two of us. I just hope . . . I hope that everything. . . . " Sheila cut off and began to cry.
Maggie instinctively reached up and hugged the other woman as she cried against her shoulder. A few minutes later, Sheila pulled back.
"I'm sorry. I just can't believe this happened. I mean, Belinda was any normal 8 year old girl and now I don't even know what's going to happen to her. It just took a second to totally turn our lives around," Sheila said sadly.
Maggie nodded sympathetically.
"I know exactly what you mean. I've had it happen a few times myself."
"I just . . . don't know what to do," Sheila said through a deep breath.
Maggie opened her mouth to say something and noticed PJ coming through the doors. She jumped up and ran to him.
"PJ! Oh, thank God you're here!" she exclaimed.
PJ gladly embraced his girlfriend and held her tightly. He kissed her temple and then rested his head on her shoulder.
"Are you okay?" he asked a few minutes later when he had pulled away from her.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said.
"What happened? Was anyone hurt?" PJ asked anxiously, looking at her stomach with clear worry.
"Come over here and we'll tell you what happened," said Maggie.
PJ quickly followed Maggie and sat down in a chair next to her. Sheila and Maggie quickly filled him in on the accident and what had happened afterwards. PJ just shook his head.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there, Maggie."
Maggie put a hand on his shoulder.
"PJ, honey, you couldn't have known what was going to happen."
"Well, I always seem to be off somewhere when something happens to you. I just wish I could have been there tonight with you for two obvious reasons."
"Honey, there was nothing that you could have done other than what had already been done by the other cops and the paramedics. You can't be with me all the time," Maggie said.
PJ smiled a half smile and stroked her cheek with his thumb. At that moment, the doctor came out to the waiting room and called Sheila over to talk to her. Maggie sat watching closely as Sheila stood up and crossed the room to the doctor. He talked quietly, but Maggie could see the impact his words were having on the other woman. Suddenly, Sheila clapped her hand to her mouth as big tears filled her eyes. The doctor grabbed her arm to steady her as he continued to talk, but Sheila could only shake her head in disbelief.
The doctor then escorted her over to the seat by Maggie and sat her down. Maggie put her hand on Sheila's shoulder to comfort her as she sobbed into her hands. The words were whispered so softly at first that Maggie couldn't hear them. But as she spoke them again, Sheila's voice grew louder.
"She's gone," Sheila simply said.
PJ took Maggie’s hand in his and took her home. It had been several hours since Maggie and he had heard the news of Belinda's death, and she was taking it harder than PJ expected. They drove home in almost complete silence, each not knowing what to say to the other. PJ took her back to her house and brought her into the living room, not knowing or caring whether Dash was home. She immediately turned to him and hugged him. Glad that he still could hold her, PJ pulled her to him and whispered soothing words in her ear. A little while later, she pulled back from him and headed inside to her bedroom. PJ quickly followed her and changed from his suit to his pajamas quickly when he reached the bedroom. He noticed her sitting on the edge of the bed and walked over to sit next to her. He put his arm around her and pulled her to him. It was at this moment that Maggie burst into tears. PJ, not expecting this severe of a reaction from her, quickly pulled her into his lap and held her as she cried.
After a few minutes, she looked up at him.
"I really wish you had been there tonight. I could have handled all of this so much better. I just felt so . . . helpless. With you there, I would have at least had the strength not to cry," Maggie said tearfully.
PJ just looked at her and brushed the tears away with the back of his fingers.
"Maggie, you are anything but helpless. Believe me when I tell you this. I know it had to be horrifying to see and be involved in what happened tonight," PJ said looking lovingly at her, "and, yes, I am very sorry that I wasn't there with you in the accident and to comfort you when it did happen,especially being two of you now to protect but you said yourself that I cannot be everywhere I'm needed all of
the time."
"I'm sorry PJ. When you repeat my words back to me, it makes it sound like I'm blaming you for the accident even occurring. That's not what I meant by it. I just meant that I need you, and I wanted you there with me. I'm beginning to realize how much I need you and want you to be a part
of everything in my life, even the bad."
"Maggie, I will be every part of your life, and you will be every part of mine until . . . well, forever. There's no doubt about that. I love you more than anything, and I would never let any part of our lives not be lived by both of us together," PJ said as he picked up Maggie's hand, "and I know that together," he entwined his hand in hers, "we can overcome anything."
Raising her hand to his lips, he kissed it and placed it on the bed next to them. Maggie smiled faintly and looked into his eyes. She still didn't know what she had done to deserve such a loving, kind man for a lover.
"I love you so much," Maggie said while she looked at him.
He smiled at her and hugged her tightly.
"I love you, too, Maggie."
She sighed, slowly climbed out of his lap, and crossed the room to retrieve her nightgown from the drawer she kept it in. Feeling extremely exhausted from the night's events, Maggie quickly changed and crawled into bed. PJ pulled her to him and held her while she slept. He became her source of comfort and strength throughout the night and into the early hours of the morning when she finally fell out of a fitful sleep and into one without dreams.
The next few weeks were pretty uneventful. Maggie was still depressed about the accident but seemed to be taking it better everyday. PJ was always patient and supportive and was willing to talk to her about the things on her mind. But lately, Maggie seemed to be clamming up on him and he didn't really understand why.
Back when they had first met, Maggie had a hard time opening up to him and admitting certain feelings. He had seen this diminish with time and the growth of their relationship. However, lately, Maggie seemed to be regressing back to that state and seemed unwilling to share any fears that she might have. PJ became increasingly concerned when she began to dive nose first into every case that came along. When he did try to talk to her about it, she just brushed it off like she didn't know what he was talking about. Even though he knew Maggie was a very strong and capable person, it still worried him. He had never seen her so upset over someone else's loss. Of course Maggie had heart, but she never got emotionally involved in something such as this. He knew that she had practically seen Belinda die in front of her, but he expected her to accept it with a little more ease. It had been difficult enough for PJ to even accept that she had been in an accident without him there to protect her and their child, let alone deal with Maggie's emotional state because of the accident.
*What am I thinking? I know that I would go through hell and back for Maggie. We have been through so much already. Why can't I just accept the facts and be there to support her? I know that she has been through a lot with the accident and seeing about Belinda and her family. It has been very draining on Maggie and all I can do now is sit here and think like this?*
PJ sat back in his chair and looked at Maggie across the room from him. She looked deep in thought while she sat there typing away at her computer. That was something else PJ thought was unusual about Maggie's behavior. She seemed to be getting into the reports, yet, when she was working on them alone, like she was now, she always seemed distant and preoccupied. PJ slowly got up from his chair and headed over to Maggie's desk. He stopped in front of it and just looked at her working diligently. Apparently lost in thought, Maggie didn't see PJ standing there and continued typing her report. He cleared his throat and she looked up, startled.
"Hi," PJ said.
"Oh, . . . hi. Did you need something?" Maggie asked.
"Uh, . . . no. I just came over to see what you were doing.
Obviously it had to be something pretty interesting because you didn't even hear me come up to your desk," PJ said.
"Oh, . . . yeah. Well, it's not that interesting. It's just this report I was working on for that bank robbery on Monday. I . . . ."
"Maggie," PJ began cautiously, "is. . .I'm worried about . . . how you've been lately."
Maggie looked up and smiled. "I'm fine, PJ. Honest."
"Well, I just. . . " PJ began again, choosing his words carefully, "I wanted to make sure that . . . you're okay with everything . . . that happened . . . uh. . . ."
"PJ, I am fine. If you want me to say it again, I will," Maggie said as she stood up and brought her face up to his. "I am fine."
"Okay," PJ said as he turned around and walked back to his desk.
*Maybe I am overreacting about this. I just hate to see Maggie in distress and her not tell me about it. I just wish she knew that I only want to help her.*
Later that day, Maggie and PJ left the Station and headed back to her home. He jumped into the CI car to take them home. The ride was quiet, yet there was a lot of tension in the air. PJ knew that Maggie was hiding something, but he couldn't figure out what it was. He had tried to ask her nicely about what had been bothering her, but had gotten nowhere with her. They stopped in front of Maggie’s house, Maggie headed inside. He soon caught up with her as she unlocked the door. They shed their coats and PJ strode towards the kitchen to prepare dinner.
PJ was surprised that even preparing one of Maggie's favorite dinners didn't bring her out of her state. She sat quietly throughout the meal without uttering two words. He found this strange but didn't want to have the same conversation as the one at the Station. Leaving her alone with her thoughts, he cleared the table when they were both finished eating. Before he was even done washing the dishes, Maggie had gone to take a hot bath. He soon joined her in the bedroom as he got ready for bed. Noticing Maggie had already gotten under the covers, he hurried to get into bed. PJ slowly crawled between the sheets, turned out the light, and kissed Maggie goodnight. He sighed as he settled down and then fell into a deep sleep.
PJ felt something hit him during the night and sat straight up in bed. He looked to his left and saw Maggie thrashing around in the bed. She had tossed all of the covers off of her and was flailing her arms and legs. PJ grabbed her arms to still her movements and spoke her name to bring her out of her nightmare. Maggie opened her eyes and looked at him.
" Maggie. . . " he said, as he brushed the hair off her sweaty brow, "are you all right?"
Maggie caught her breath.
"Yes. I'm fine."
She pushed his hands away from her face and turned over to go back to sleep.
"No you're not," PJ stated firmly.
Maggie didn't turn over.
"I'm very worried about you. Why won't you talk to me?" PJ put a hand on her shoulder.
"Because there's nothing to say."
"I think there's plenty to say, Maggie, and I'm willing to listen if you'll just give me the chance."
Maggie sighed. "Goodnight, PJ."
"Maggie . . . . "
PJ knew he was treading on dangerous ground, but he hated not being able to help her when she was like this.
"PJ, I'm fine. Just go to sleep, okay?"
"No. It's not okay, Maggie. You're not okay, and if you think you are, then you're just kidding yourself," PJ said.
With that, Maggie sat straight up and looked him dead in the eye.
"Who are you to decide if I'm okay or if I'm not okay?"
"Maggie, . . . I know something's wrong. Just tell me and we'll work it out together."
"I don't need your help, PJ, because there is nothing to help me with," Maggie said, practically shouting.
"Fine. All I'm saying is that when you're ready to talk then I'll be here ready to listen." PJ turned over and bundled up in the covers. Maggie, all of a sudden, got up and headed out the door.
"Where are you going?" PJ asked.
"To the lounge. I think the couch would be a little more inviting right now," Maggie said, angrily.
"Maggie . . . . "
PJ tried to apologize but it was too late. He knew that he had done the wrong thing by trying to force her to fess up to what had been bothering her, but it hurt him so much to see her in this state. He had only wanted her to be able to confide in him about what had been bothering her, but now he had even blown that chance. All he could do was wait until she decided to come to him with what was bothering her.
The next few days passed with a slowness that PJ had never known. Maggie wouldn't talk to him at home on the phone or in person and only talked to him in a professional sense at work. It was driving him crazy, but he didn't know what to do about it except to let her cool off. He had never seen Maggie hold a grudge against him this long and he became even more worried since she was carrying their child and had not even told any of their friends let alone speak to him about it lately. He knew she was terribly afraid of something, but he didn't know what. And he didn't know how to help her if she was unwilling to share her feelings with him. PJ sat back in his chair at his desk and studied Maggie from a distance.
"You're not gonna get much work done by staring at our Senior Constable, PJ," Tom said. PJ looked up at him and then back at his desk.
Tom turned from PJ's desk and headed back to his office. He really did feel sorry for PJ because he knew how Maggie could be when she was angry. He also knew how PJ could be when he was worried about Maggie. Tom sighed and just hoped that PJ's patience would hold out over her grudge.
Maggie woke with a start in the middle of the night. She had that awful dream again. She looked to her right and saw that PJ was sleeping soundly. Apparently her sudden jarring didn't wake him. She was silently thankful for the moment because she didn't want him to accuse her of hiding her feelings again, but then she began to feel very scared and lonely.
Maggie had always had a difficult time dealing with her emotions, but it had gotten easier since she and PJ had gotten closer. Since the accident though, she had pulled back from telling PJ what she was fearing. It was hard enough to admit fear to herself, let alone PJ. He was the perfect boyfriend, always patient and kind, but she just wanted to be able to deal with this on her own. She supposed that she felt this way because she wanted to maintain her independence and the feeling of being in control. That had always been important to her and she felt that if she could deal with this, like everything else in the past, then that meant she was a strong person.
*I will deal with this! I don't need to bother PJ. It would only worry him further.*
"PJ, I'm so sorry. I know. . . . "
PJ held her while she cried.
"I love you, PJ," Maggie said, her eyes still closed.
With that she opened her eyes and climbed into his lap. He held her there for a long time and was astonished when he looked down and saw that she had finally fallen asleep. PJ slowly carried her to her side of the bed and laid her down. With Maggie asleep, PJ felt better. He had seen how much this wreck had bothered her and now he at least knew the reason why she had taken it so hard. Drained himself, PJ went to his side of the bed and fell asleep instantly.
The next morning, Maggie woke up to the smell of breakfast. She quickly got up and went to the kitchen to see what PJ had fixed for them to eat. Maggie bounced down the stairs feeling better than she had felt in weeks. She took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. PJ was behind the stove making his mother's famous blueberry pancakes and whistling the theme song to Gilligan's Island. He saw her and the refreshed look on her face and instantly felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He had been so
worried after last night's outburst.
They ate breakfast together and talked about the cases that they had worked on over the past few weeks. Maggie seemed to be getting back to her old self. PJ still thought better than to ask her to talk about the accident again. Last night had been a nightmare enough for both of them. He knew that now that she had talked to him, she would work through the problem with more ease. One of the things he found most amazing about Maggie was that she always tried to work things out by herself when she knew that with him, things could almost always be worked out faster and easier. He guessed she didn't always confide in him because she had been so independent for most of her life, but he felt like that was all about to change.
PJ got up from the table and took their dishes to the sink. He looked back at Maggie who had stopped talking for a while. She had that far away look in her eyes once again, and PJ felt that feeling of dread return to his gut.
*Maybe everything hasn't been resolved yet,* PJ thought grimly.
She smiled and nodded at him. He really seemed to understand her or at least predict some of her behavior. No one else had ever been able to do that and it made Maggie feel better. Maggie got up from the table and headed to her bedroom to get ready for work.
PJ stood there looking at his girlfriend. He knew that she wasn't fine and the only thing she had accomplished was telling him what was bothering her. He couldn't just sit back and watch her put herself through agony. It tore him up too much. To PJ's astonishment, he felt like crying himself. Maybe that would tell her how much she was hurting him by not sharing her problems with him. He just shook his head and walked past her into the lounge.
"Maggie, I saw you last night and you were a mess. I have never been that scared for you in my life. I just want you to talk to me and tell me what's wrong so that maybe I can help you get through this. Don't you understand that by not telling me what's wrong that you're tearing me up in the process?" he said as he stared at her.
She seemed too shocked to respond, so he continued, his voice softer. "When you don't tell me, I feel nothing but helplessness. I can't do anything to help you unless you tell me; and I want to help you through anything that happens, but that means that you have to trust me and let me in," PJ
said as he wiped his eyes with a swipe of his fingers and sat down on the couch with a flop.
Maggie still didn't know what to say. She now knew that in trying to protect him from her fears, she had only hurt him more. Hanging her head, she started up toward her bedroom. PJ sat there and waited until he heard the bedroom door close. He knew what he had said had shocked and even hurt her, but he had to tell her what her silence was doing to him. He couldn't just sit back and watch her do that to herself. If she wasn't willing to do something about it, then PJ was going to try his hardest to get her to
face the problem. PJ took a deep breath and suddenly felt very tired. He looked at the bedroom and wondered what Maggie was doing. Propping his head in his hand, he soon fell asleep.
Several hours later, PJ woke up. He looked around the house but didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. He wondered if Maggie was still in the bedroom or if she had left the house to think things over. PJ slowly headed to her bedroom. He opened the door to find her sound asleep on the
bed. She looked like an angel laying there sleeping peacefully. PJ walked over to the bed and pushed a strand of hair out of her face. She didn't even stir which indicated to PJ that she was indeed over tired and needed the day off. Softly, rain began to beat against the window. PJ turned around and noticed the gray, overcast sky.
*Now that's appropriate,* PJ thought to himself
Maggie, still sleeping, realized that she was in her nightmare once again. She saw the Telstar in front of her and Belinda looking back at her to find out what Maggie was signaling about. This time though, Maggie wasn't signaling about the truck, she was signaling about Belinda and what she knew was going to happen to her. Maggie decided that flashing her lights and honking her horn wasn't going to work so she began to pass the other car. She almost got up to the driver's window when she hit a puddle in
the middle of the road. She skidded and began spinning out of control once again.
After hitting the tree and then stopping at the base of the telephone pole, Maggie looked up and saw the truck hit the back of the Telstar. It skidded forward and hit a telephone pole nose first. Maggie scrambled out of the Laser and ran over. She felt like she was moving in slow motion. After finally reaching the Telstar, she opened the back door.
She looked and saw the big hole in the windshield and knew what had happened. Running with all her might to the spot where she knew Belinda's body would lay, Maggie found that she wasn't there. Frantically, Maggie began looking for Belinda, but couldn't find her anywhere. She ran past the spot where Belinda should have been and into a large field. Soon, Maggie wasn't looking for Belinda, but trying to run as far away as she could. She could feel the tears streaming down her face as she began
running harder and harder. If she could just run far enough, she would be okay. She had to get away from this. It was just too much to bear.
Suddenly, Maggie tripped in a hole and came tumbling to the ground. It seemed to take forever to finally feel the solid earth beneath her. When she did feel it, she looked up and saw the angry clouds that beat the cold rain down on her now exhausted body. She was just so, so tired.
*I'll be . . . okay if I can just . . . just lay here a while.* Maggie closed her eyes and then felt a small hand on her shoulder.
For the first time in weeks, Maggie felt her strength returning. She closed her eyes and reveled in the embrace she shared with the little girl. A few seconds later, Maggie was shocked to find her arms empty. She looked up and saw Belinda running across the field, dancing and skipping. Maggie just smiled and clapped her hands to her mouth.
Looking at the clock, Maggie realized it was mid-afternoon and quickly got up out of bed. She slowly walked down the stairs and saw PJ at her computer. He caught a glimpse of something moving and looked up to find her walking over to him. Seeing her tear stained face, he thought that maybe she was having another guilt trip over Belinda's death, but he noticed something in her face that hadn't been there for weeks; hope, relief, and even a little happiness.
With that, they were up the stairs in a flash. Throughout the night, sounds of pleasure and laughter came from the bedroom as Maggie and PJ explored the regions of forgiveness and love together.
THE END
"Well, . . . ever since Maggie was involved in the accident a few weeks ago, she's been diving into every case that's come along. I mean, I know that's really not that unusual, but she's ignoring my attempts to try to get her to talk about the accident. And worst of all, she's been having bad nightmares. It's really frustrating because she won't tell me what's wrong. I keep trying to be there for her and she refuses to let me do anything, I thought we were best friends."
"Well, Son, you know Maggie and when she's good and ready, she'll tell you what's on her mind. She's been on her own most of her life, and she's used to having to depend only on herself when times get tough. Hell, it took her two years just to be able to tell me . . . . "
Maggie walked over about that time.
"PJ, I need the list of suspects that we have on that smuggling case."
PJ looked up at her and smiled softly as he handed her the list. She quickly turned on her heel and walked back to her desk.
"Wow. What did you say to her?"
"Nothing, Boss. I just tried to get her to talk to me and she kinda got angry with me when I did."
"Kinda angry?"
"Well, a lot angry. She won't talk to me at all even on the phone. At least she talks to me here, even if it is in a professional sense."
"Well, I have two words for you: Good luck."
"Thanks, Boss. I have a feeling I'm going to need it."
With that, she tried to go back to sleep, but without much success. She tossed and turned for more than an hour and finally sat up, frustrated. She looked down at PJ's sleeping form and suddenly began to cry. Maggie buried her face in her knees and sobbed. Suddenly, she felt PJ's strong arms come around her shoulders in a warm embrace. She gladly entered his arms and stayed there while she cried. He stroked her hair and listened as she apologized through her tears.
"Shhhh. It's okay."
She pulled away to look at him.
"No, I . . . I want to tell you why I've been acting this way. Just be patient with me. This could take a while. Not because it's a long story, but just because I'm not used to bearing my soul at the drop of a hat. I know since we've been seeing one another I have opened up a lot more, but I just can't seem to face something that I am afraid of. Do you know what I mean? I mean life itself is very scary, but I can always seem to handle the big stuff. It's just always these little details that always get me . . . "
"Maggie."
"What?"
"Uh, . . . you're babbling."
"Oh. I'm sorry, sweetheart," Maggie said. "Anyway, as I was saying before, when I saw the accident the other week I was . . . really taken back by what happened. I have never witnessed an accident like that right before my eyes. It was horrifying. I was amazed that I wasn't hurt at all in the wreck. I guess fate was on my side that night," Maggie said, "but it wasn't on Belinda's," she barely whispered.
"I remember now seeing Belinda before the accident happened. Sheila told me later on that night that Belinda had . . . " Lois began to get teary, " . . . taken her seat belt off to see what I was honking my horn about. Right before the accident, PJ, I saw her look back at me like she was trying to find out what I was trying to signal them about. Then I saw Sheila, who was driving, tell her to turn around and sit down. She did turn around, but . . . she didn't put her seat belt back on. I guess Sheila didn't notice because of all the commotion I was causing, but I finally passed her and hit that puddle. That's when things really went downhill. When my car had finally stopped, I looked up in time to see them get hit from behind and pushed into a telephone pole," Maggie said as tears streamed down her face.
PJ just nodded.
"PJ, don't you see what happened?"
"What are you talking about, Maggie? The truck hit them and they hit the telephone pole. You told me that the night it happened."
Maggie shook her head.
"No. I mean the fact that if I hadn't done what I did then Belinda would still be alive tonight. If I hadn't honked my horn and flashed my lights then she would be fine. I don't know why I just didn't pass them and move on. I just wish there was something that I could do to . . . . and I was worried about our baby, what if she were to have died that night....."
Maggie's voice caught in her throat and she began to sob uncontrollably.
"Maggie, honey, that's not what happened. I mean it is, but you're not responsible for Belinda's death. You were just trying to warn them about the truck. Honey, you had no idea what was going to happen, and you and our baby are perfectly safe."
Maggie was silent except for her tears, and PJ felt that there was no way that he could tell her that Belinda's death was not her fault. He could see her point of view, but he also knew that Maggie would never take a life intentionally. As these thoughts went through PJ's mind, he rocked Maggie back and forth in hopes to stop her tears. Several minutes later, her sobs had quieted to an occasional sniffle. Maggie sat up, took a deep, shuttering breath, and looked at PJ. His heart ached to see her like
this. Reaching a hand up, PJ stroked her cheek and smiled softly at her. She just looked at him with pain-filled eyes and leaned into his touch. Maggie slowly closed her eyes and felt a few more tears escape down her cheeks.
PJ smiled at his girlfriend.
"I love you, too, Maggie, more than you know."
He sighed and walked over to his girlfriend.
"Earth to Maggie. Come in Maggie."
She shook her head and looked up at him.
"I'm sorry, PJ. I just can't seem to keep my mind on one subject today."
"Or off one subject," PJ mumbled under his breath.
"What?"
"Nothing, honey. I just want you to know that if you have anymore problems with . . . you know what, that I am here to listen, okay? You don't have to deal with this alone. I'll help you."
Maggie smiled and put her hand on PJ's.
"PJ, I'm . . . "
"I know. You're fine."
"Where are you going?" asked PJ.
Maggie stopped in front of the kitchen doors and turned to look at PJ.
"To get ready for work, PJ."
"Well, I called Tom and he gave both of us the day off. He said that we've both been working hard and needed some time off."
"PJ, there is nothing to be worried about. I told you that I'm fine. Now quit being closed minded about this and just accept it."
"What? No more lecture?" As soon as Maggie said these words, she regretted it.
PJ spun around.
"You know what Maggie?" PJ said, almost shouting. "You say that you're fine and I believe you, but let me tell you something. I am not fine, and do you know why? Because my girlfriend, my significant other, will not talk to me about what is on her mind when I know that it's tearing her up inside," he said as tears welled up in his eyes. He took a breath.
He turned back to Maggie and gave her a small kiss on the cheek before leaving the bedroom. He went to the lounge and sat in front of the computer for a while, looking for information on the suspects for the smuggling case that he and Maggie were working on.
"Is everyone okay?" asked Maggie.
"Yes. I think everyone's . . . . " the woman began saying, but Maggie knew what was coming.
The woman looked to her right and saw the empty passenger seat.
"Belinda, . . . where's Belinda?"
"Don't worry I'll find her. Just stay put, okay?" Maggie said as she closed the back door and ran looking for Belinda.
She opened her eyes and looked to where the hand was coming from. To her surprise, it was Belinda's hand that rested on her shoulder. Maggie sat up and looked at the young girl in astonishment.
"I thought . . . I . . . ."
"Maggie . . . "
"How do you know who I am?"
"That doesn't matter. What does matter is the grief that you're going through for me. It isn't necessary. I can't blame you for what happened to me. You were just trying to warn me and my family."
"But you died . . . " Maggie began, the tears taking over, "and it was because of me. Don't you see? If I hadn't flashed my lights and honked my horn at your mother, then you'd still be alive today. I can't help but feel responsible for what happened to you, Belinda. I am so very sorry," Maggie said as she cried.
"No.Maggie, you didn't do anything wrong. If you hadn't tried to warn my mother about the truck then we all could have died. It's okay," Belinda said as she kneeled in front of Maggie and put her hands on her shoulders.
Maggie looked up at the little girl. She looked so different from the night that Maggie had seen her in the crash. She was . . . beautiful. Maggie just stared at her small, round face and smiled. She could sense the love and forgiveness that Belinda was giving her and scooped the child up in a warm embrace. Belinda hugged her back with equal force as Maggie let the last of her tears slide down her cheeks. Maggie never wanted to let go of her. She felt such tremendous relief and joy because this child
had forgiven her for something she had felt terrible guilt over.
"Thank you, . . . thank you," she said softly.
Slowly, Maggie opened her eyes. She had been crying in her sleep but not from grief. She had cried tears of joy in knowing that Belinda didn't blame her for her death. In some special way, Maggie felt a bond with the little girl she had tried to help on that rainy night in May.
"What've you been doing?" PJ asked, his voice a hoarse whisper.
Maggie took a deep breath.
"Well, I've mostly slept."
She paused for a minute.
"I had the dream again."
PJ looked at her, concerned.
"No, PJ, it's okay. It . . . It was different this time."
"Different? How?"
"Well, the dream began as it normally did except when I went to find Belinda's body, it wasn't there. I looked all over, but I couldn't find her anywhere, so I just ran. I ran into a large field that was in front
of me until I just couldn't run anymore. I tripped in a hole and lay on the ground, too exhausted to move. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned over and saw Belinda standing behind me. I got up and we talked. I mean. . . we had a conversation." Maggie said this last sentence with a chuckle.
"Really?" PJ said, cocking an eyebrow.
"Yeah, but she told me that she didn't blame me for anything. She said that she knew I was trying to warn them and not to blame myself for what happened. But then I looked at her, I mean, really looked at her, and what I saw amazed me. She looked . . . beautiful. I couldn't get over it, so I just stared at her for what felt like an eternity. In that instant, though, I felt like she was forgiving me and helping me deal with the guilt I felt. It was like she wanted me to feel that it was all okay. So I hugged her. And then . . . she was gone. I looked up and saw her running and skipping across the field. It was so strange, but . . . it was wonderful," Maggie finished with a soft sigh.
PJ smiled at his girlfriend.
"I'm really glad this worked out between you and Belinda."
He sighed.
"I really should have been more patient with you, Maggie. I just worry about you sometimes, and I want you to realize that you can always come to me with any problem that you have, no matter what."
"I love you, Mr. Hasham," she said, as she embraced him in a tight hug.
"And I love you, Miss Doyle," he said, returning her embrace with as much enthusiasm.
PJ pulled away and brought her chin up. They locked together in a long, passionate kiss and held each other for a long time. When the kiss finally broke, PJ looked down at his girlfriend and smiled at her. Maggie got out of his lap and walked over to the door.
"Where are you going?" PJ inquired.
"I thought I'd go back to the bedroom."
"Are you still tired?"
Maggie looked at him thoughtfully.
"No, but I thought that maybe we could work on that forgiveness thing. Maybe you could teach me a few lessons."
PJ quickly got up and met his girlfriend at the door.
"I'd be happy to," he said with a smile.
Later on that evening Maggie whispered to PJ, "I think it’s about time we told everyone about our relationship, including the news about the baby". PJ smiled at her in return.
