Dixie: (breaking the kiss) Tad, we can’t do this.
Dixie: (breaking the kiss) Tad, we can’t do this.
Tad: Why not?
D: Because we don’t know where we stand, ok?
T: Sure we do. Honey, we’re standing right here, you and me, face to face…alone. (Pauses, realizing that he’s kidding himself). Except for that elephant in the corner called our past.
D: Yeah--it’s kind of a big, ugly elephant.
T: It almost worked, didn’t it? For a minute there, we were just two people on the dance floor, having fun, while the band played "Night and Day". What could be more natural than a kiss?
D: It was fun. But now we’re Tad, Dixie and the elephant, ok?
T: Is that the way you want it?
D: No…not particularly.
T: Well, then it seems to me we’ve got two choices. Number one, we can try to deal with our past, and hopefully get past it. Or number two, we can just pretend it never happened. Go on dancing. I kiss you, you kiss me back, and we just see wherever that takes us. (Dixie, who has been pacing, spins around to face him, disbelief registering on her face) It’s your choice, honey—it’s either door number one, or door number two.
D: (tears brimming up in her eyes, saddened to think that Tad could think there was any other option) Well, I’m afraid it’s going to have to be door number one.
T: Yeah, I guess so. (resigning himself to what he knows is coming, he sits down) So, you go ahead, start first.
D: Me? Why should I start?
T: (shrugging his shoulders) Ladies first? They did it on the Titanic. We’ve got to do this honey--it’s time.
~*~*~*~*~
T: I know you’re scared. Just for the record, I’m scared, too.
D: (scoffing) Oh, you’re scared? Tad the Impaler? I have it on very good authority that you’re not afraid of anything.
T: Oh, take it from me--when it comes to me and you talking about what went wrong, I’d rather jump out of a plane without a parachute.
D: Well, that’s how it felt. Two years ago I felt like I was…(pausing, trying to force the words out, but we can see how painful it is for her) …I felt like I was (her voice starts to crack as tears start to fall) …falling out of the sky…and I just hit the ground, and broke every bone in my body. I thought I was going to die of pain.
T: I know what you mean.
D: Oh, you know what I mean? Tad, How could you know what I mean? It happened to me. It didn’t happen to you.
T: How can you say that? (getting up and walking over to where she’s standing) It happened to me, too. Personally, it felt more like a car accident or a train wreck. You know, one of those things where all of a sudden you’re out of control, and next thing you know you’re in pieces and nothing works? (pausing, trying to emphasize his next statement) It happened to me, too. I know because for two years I walked around going through all the motions while everything else was dead inside.
~*~*~*~*~
T: I still feel it. Pain, sense of loss. It may have diminished a little bit over time, a little duller now, but it’s still there. Isn’t it?
D: (moves past him and resumes her pacing, trying to avoid his eyes) Well, yeah. You know, I guess I just got used to the fact that it might never go away.
T: Maybe not. But maybe it can, based on what we do right here, right now.
D: It’s just so easy for you to say. You just didn’t fall as hard as I did.
T: (honestly shocked that she would think this) Excuse me? I would match my pain and suffering to your pain and suffering any day of the week.
D: Really? (getting indignant, as if she can’t believe that he could possibly believe what he’s saying) Well then you’d lose, then, wouldn’t you?
T: Why?
D: Isn’t it obvious?
T: Not to me. Why should your suffering be more significant than mine?
D: Will I have to spell it out for you? One of us did something, and the other was done to.
T: Is it really that simple for you? I mean, that I was the betrayer, and you were the betrayee? ‘Cause if it is, forget it. I’m not going to take the blame for this all by myself. There’s no way. You do NOT get to be an innocent victim here. Okay, I screwed up, I screwed up big time, but so did you. If you get to be a victim, then so do I.
D: Oh, you’re a victim now? (getting angry now) You are SO arrogant! You are so unbelievably arrogant! How DARE you stand in front of me and tell me that you’re the victim, too?
~*~*~*~*~*
D: (angry, annoyed) Okay, okay…I want to hear how you think YOU’RE a victim. I want to hear what twisted logic leads you to that conclusion.
T: (getting angry, defensive) Do you honestly think that Liza Colby happened in a total vacuum? That one day I just woke and I decided to mangle my marriage? Do you? Because if you do, then you are suffering from a world-class delusion, Dixie. You’re just papering over all the things we need to talk about if we’re EVER going to get past this.
D: (spelling it out for him) Tad, we broke up because of Liza Colby, ok? That’s it--it’s that simple, ok? Anyone who knows our history, knows that is the truth.
T: Our marriage was in trouble a LONG time before Liza ever came back to town.
D: That’s news to me.
T: Is it? Is it? C’mon, think back, be honest. We stopped talking to one another…and whenever we did, it was only long enough to start a fight. It got to the point where I felt like NOTHING I could do was ever going to be good enough for you. What did you want me to do? I mean, I quit the Orsini Vineyard just so I could spend enough time with you and the boys.
D: And then you started taking work at the station, with Liza, and you stayed away just as long!
T: Well, it wasn’t because of Liza. I stayed away because I didn’t want to come home. (she stares at him, truly shocked, and not a little hurt, as tears re-form in her eyes) Every time I did, there was always some damn study circle going on.
D: My studying had nothing to do with you!
T: Oooh, and neither did your Uncle Palmer, or your brother Will, or anybody else you BLINDLY stood by. You always managed to put something or someone else ahead of me and our marriage.
D: That’s not true!
T: Well, it’s how I felt. I felt like I had to make an appointment just to schedule sex!!!
D: Unbelievable! How could you say that? I don’t have to listen to this. (turns and storms across the room) I can’t believe I’m standing here, listening to you rationalize why you ended our marriage.
T: (he follows her, as she tries to escape) I didn’t end our marriage. YOU did. (Dixie gasps, unable to believe what she’s hearing) YOU walked out on ME! And I’m not rationalizing anything—I’m telling you how I felt.
D: I don’t have to listen to this! (backing away from him)
T: (simultaneously) Oh yes you do.
D: There is NO point in talking about it! (she storms across the room)
T: Don’t you go anywhere. I’m telling you how I felt! (Dixie disappears into the bathroom) Where the hell are you going? Would you stop running away? (she then re-emerges a few seconds later, carrying a pile of clothing.)
D: Here are your clothes. Some are wet, some are dry. Put them on and get the hell out! (she waves the clothes in Tad’s face, then tosses them to the ground at his feet, then storms over to the door and throws it open.)
T: (Tad, in turn, storms over and slams the door shut, almost pinning her against the wall, preventing her escape) No, (slowly, deliberately) no, no. I’m not leaving. We finally started this, and by god, we’re going to finish it!
The scene fades out with Dixie doing her best to stare him down, as her chin quivers and she tries to hold back tears. As the scene fades back in, Tad still has Dixie backed up against the door.
T: You’re not throwing me out and you’re not running away. We’ve come this far, and we’re going on.
D: Oh, take no prisoners? Is that what you want?
T: Why do you have to look at it that way? Why can’t you just tell me how you feel?
D: Because you KNOW how I feel. (she darts away, pacing across the room. Tad follows, right at her heels.)
T: That’s not good enough. I want to hear it. I want to hear the words. That’s the whole point of this thing, Dixie—we’ve got to pull it out and look at it. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much it costs us.
D: (she spins around to look at him, to stare straight into his eyes, her voice thick with unshed tears) Costs us? Tad, I loved you more than anything—don’t you understand that? It’s not my fault—I didn’t ruin this marriage.
T: Well, neither did I. I loved you, and I still do. You were the world to me, and you just disappeared. Vanished. How could you do that? Why couldn’t you just stay and fight? For us? For me?
D: Because…because…I don’t know, all right?! All right? I made some mistakes! I guess I was far from the ideal wife. I guess I failed you! Many, many times. But I was very angry—don’t you understand that? So I just went to my work, and I was a bitch to you. I know that, and I couldn’t stop it. (trying so hard to make him understand where she was coming from) But it was because I was very jealous. I was jealous of you and Liza. How could even go near her? Within ten miles of her, considering your history?
T: Because I didn’t give a damn about Liza—I was in love with YOU!
D: (desperate, almost whining) But you kept pulling away! And I couldn’t get you back! C’mon Tad—that’s not fair. I know I was a shrew, harping at you at every opportunity, but…
T: (interrupting her, getting angry) Because you were convinced that I was going to cheat on you!! No matter what, you were sure of it! Right? Right?! Because somewhere in your mind, considering my history, you’re afraid that I’m always going to be Tad the Cad. That I’m never going to be anything else!
D: Well, I was right, wasn’t I? Wasn’t I right??!
T: I PROVED you right! (getting angry, egging her on) C’mon, say it! Say it! I should have stopped. Nothing you did deserved what I did, right?
D: (furious) RIGHT! YES! Right!!
T: I broke our vows. Say it! (encouraging her, trying to coax it out of her, but all she can do is cry) C’mon, say it! *I* broke our vows! I cheated on you!
D: (Covers her ears) Please, stop! Please stop, Tad. Please! (starting to cry, pleading with him) I can’t do this.
T: Yes you can.
D: I won’t do this.
T: Yes you can and you are going to. We’re going to finish it.
D: (continues to plead with him, almost crying) Please, Tad. What is the point? You want me to spill my guts? You think that’s going to make everything better? I don’t think so! This is AGONY for me—don’t you understand that? So please, I don’t want to do it. There is no point—I don’t care!!!!
T: (Long, loaded pause, as they both stare at each other) Don’t you ever tell me that. Don’t you EVER tell me that. Of course you care—you’ve got to. You’ve got to—don’t you see? You’re just afraid to let it go, because you think that if you do, you’re going to say something that hurts my feelings. Don’t you get it? You saying ‘I don’t care’ hurts me more than any accusation you could ever make.
D: (getting angry, shouting) Good. Good! I want you to hurt! I want you to suffer, I want you to feel agony
T: (interrupting her again, almost shouting) Exactly the way I made you feel! Right? (she nods, trying to keep herself from crying) The way I made you feel! C’mon, say it. C’mon Dixie, SAY it! You can do it. I know you can. I hurt your feelings. GET MAD! I’m the one who stuck the knife in your chest, I’m the one who jumped into Liza’s bed. I made love to her, you think about that? You think about what it was like for me, kissing her? (Dixie is really crying now, not even trying to stop the tears that are running down her cheeks, the sobs that are starting to wrack her body) C’mon, Dixie—DO SOMETHING! Get mad at me. *I* cheated on you! Show me how that made you feel! SHOW ME!!
Dixie, shaking from a combination of tears and anger, winds up and whacks Tad across the face with all of her might, not once, but twice. Tad’s eyes nearly bug out of his head, but he stands his ground and lets her dish it out(well, he did ask for it, right?). After a few moments, believing her to be finished, he regains his composure, and continues.
T: Okay…
Dixie, still shaking, still silent, just glares at him, and winds up for a final punch. This one impacts with Tad’s face so hard that he has to take a couple of steps backwards to maintain his balance.
D: (shakily, almost sobbing, tears coursing down her cheeks) Okay?
Tad stares at her, feels his swelling lip, and nods. The scene fades out as they stand there, staring at each other. The scene fades back in with them in basically the same position. They’ve both obviously had a bit of a chance to calm down, because when Tad finally speaks, his voice is much more controlled.
T: You have every right to your hurt, and your anger. (with the utmost sincerity) There’s nothing I have ever done in my entire life that I regret more than what I did to you, and I’m very, very sorry.
D: (no longer openly crying, though her eyes are wet, ready to spill over at any time) Are you really?
T: Yeah. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do, if I could go back and change it. But I sorry, that’s just not possible.
D: It’s not. (shaking her head, agreeing with him) It’s over, it’s done, there’s nothing more that we can say.
T: Sure there is…because (softly, sincerely) I want you to forgive me. Please. (pleading with his eyes, his tone) I just want to know that we can spend time in the same room together. I don’t care what happens from here on out, where we go from here. I just want to know we can be alone together, without the elephant. (staring at her with desperately pleading eyes) Please, will you forgive me?
Scene fades out with Tad staring at Dixie pleadingly, and Dixie staring back at him, tears running down her cheeks, unsure of how to react. The scene fades back in with Tad and Dixie in the same positions.
T: Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?
D: Yes, yes I can…I do…I forgive you.
~*~*~*~*~
D: What about you? Can you forgive me, for running out on you, for giving up on us?
T: (takes a step closer, staring at her in disbelief) You have to ask?
D: Yes, I do. This is me, you know, showing up for you. Finally.
T: Of course I do.
D: Thank you. (gives him a small, quick smile, then her face clouds over again) I’m sorry that I hurt you. (as her eyes fill with tears again) I’m really, really so sorry. (They both stare into each other’s eyes. Dixie takes a deep breath, then continues) Well, I guess, umm…
T: What?
D: No, I was just going to state the obvious…
T: Which is?
D: Well, you know you said before that you came here to clear the past, to see if we could get into the present, you know? I think we did that. (her face breaking into a smile as relief washes over her) Thank you so much.
T: (smiling, too) No, thank you. I guess we did. Mission accomplished.
D: You know, I couldn’t have done this two months ago. I couldn’t have done this two weeks ago.
T: Well, you know what they say—timing’s everything.
D: Yeah
T: Now what do we do?
Dixie smiles coyly, and looks over at the bed.
(no, they didn’t jump into bed together!)
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