Get your own Free Home PageTHE NORM CONSPIRACY
Hello, I am INWOsuxRED, and I am here to confront this anti-Norm conspiracy that is conspiring against Norm MacDonald. I am the internationally renowned co-founder of the Outsider Inc. a fictional company based on a wrestling newsletter built on a foundation of horrible horrible lies. First, I will look at a report on the "incident" that has caused stupid people to become angry. Then I will look at the stupid people.
Before I begin with that, I would just like to mention how incredibly funny Norm was on the Dennis Miller Live 100th episode. Norm appeared on the show to defend his "World's Funniest Man" title, and did it with style, single-handedly being funnier than all of Millers aprox. 100 past guests COMBINED. He had the audience, and Miller laughing like crazy. His speech was moderately slurred and he does kinda talk in a mumble, so that goes to prove that the stories of Norm's slurred speech being the problem in CT were greatly exaggerated.
"COLLEGE COMEDY GIG
ISN'T SO FUNNY"
By RICHARD JOHNSON with JEANE MACINTOSH and SEAN GANNON
(Excerpts from the article are in quotations. RED's response follows)
"The lesson to be learned from Norm Macdonald's disastrous appearance last
weekend at a college alumni reunion in Connecticut: Cocktails and comedy
don't mix."
Um, yeah ok. Cocktails and comedy don't mix. Quick, close down every
fucking comedy club on the continent!
"The former Saturday Night Live star was hired to do a monologue at
Quinnipiac College in Hamden as part of the school's alumni weekend
festivities.
Nearly 2,000 people packed into Quinnipiac's Alumni Hall to hear the ousted
"Weekend Update" anchor do his schtick. That much is clear. But there are
two versions of what happened next."
Yeah, Norm's version, and then the version of filthy dirty lies created by
whore mongers.
"A member of the audience reports Macdonald was so inebriated that once he
gained the stage, he could barely speak, much less make coherent jokes.
According to the source, it wasn't long before members of the audience got
so disgruntled they started booing.
Our witness says this prompted Macdonald to sneer, "Bleep you, bleep your
school, and bleep all your friends! And you know what, if I keep my fat ass
up here for another five minutes, you guys have to pay me. So let's talk
about the weather."
So the he was incoherent in the first paragraph, then in the second
paragraph he is quoted saying a number of coherent things. Funny and true
things. The "lets talk about the weather" line is great. It's funnier
than Sam Donaldson.
"It was chaos," says the source. "He had to be helped off the stage. I'm
so angry. These kids were really looking forward to this, they waited two
months, and he was so foul ã not one joke."
Kids? Ok, college "kids" it is. Drunken children, if you will. Norm's
act is foul. He is a foul man with a foul mouth. It helps make him funny.
"But Macdonald says it was the kids themselves who'd had too much to
drink."
He was right.
"So I go to this gig, wherever the bleep it was," he told PAGE SIX's
Jared Paul Stern, "and the entire audience was drunk. They'd obviously been
in the beer tent all day. I got on stage, and right away I noticed
something was wrong; there were about 40 security guards and 10 cops, which
doesn't usually happen at a comedy gig."
Unless there are drunken children there. Then all the cops come out to
watch the drunken children.
"Macdonald says he soon realized why the muscle was needed. "They were all
screaming, talking to each other and throwing things. I told a few jokes,
they started screaming and throwing things at me. I didn't want to leave
before the 45 minutes were up so that they couldn't use that as an excuse
not to pay me; they swore at me, so I swore back at them. Then I got off
and they didn't want to pay me."
He was booked for an appearance the following day at St. Bonaventure
College in Olean, NY, but had to cancel. "I was so traumatized, I couldn't
do it," he says. "I'll never perform for drunk people again as long as I
live."
LOL, another funny joke by Norm the angry drunk.
"According to a rep for Quinnipiac, "Macdonald was scheduled to appear,
but he was unable to continue with his performance, and he left."
Macdonald's rep says they are trying to resolve the payment issue.
© 1998 New York Post "
Now you see how the ignorant news media has twisted the truth. Now it is
on to the filthy lies of the drunken children.
(The following are excerpts from my guestbook-J)
Dave - 04/27/98 09:28:25
My URL:http://wqaq.home.ml.org
My Email:ciagldavip@quinnipiac.edu
Location: Hamden CT
Age: 19
Comments:
Norm is a crackhead. He does a great job at getting booded off a stage. no
really. April 25 Norm was booded off stage by 3,000 drunk college kids.
now...how the hell can you get booded of the stage by drunken college kids?
easy...be really really high and be very very un-funny.
There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to begin. First,
he was funny, I have read the transcripts. High people are funny, so are
people that swear at their audience, especially when their audience is from
an overpriced hellhole like CT. The answer to how how a person could be
booed off the stage by drunken college students is simple if you've ever
seen a documentary on the drunk tank. Hell, the only time I see College
students on TV is when they are beating the shit out of police because they
want to drink beer. Its happening all over the country, I've seen it on
CNN. At least you admit here the students were drunk, thus corroborating
Norm's part of the story and proving him to be innocent of all crimes.
P.S. Your website is horribly unfunny.
Bobby Schaefer - 04/27/98 16:17:28
My Email:schaerobel@quinnipiac.edu
Location: Quinnipiac College
Age: 21
Fave Comedian: Sandler
Fave Show: Simpsons
Fave Late Night Nost: What's a NOST?
Comments:
Norm is a tool. He came to our Spring Weekend obviously high and failed to
tell a single joke until 1/3 of the crowd of 3000+ got up and left. C'mon,
throw us a bone with an OJ joke or a Dole impression. Fight back! Security
pulled him off stage and t e police escorted him away from the school.
Lorne knew what he was doing.
Norm is a tool of comedy. Here you admit that Norm did tell at least a
single joke, thus corroborating Norm's story and proving him to be innocent
of all crimes. Your desire for something as trite and out of date as a Bob
Dole impression also proves that you don't understand humor. Your desire
to have bones thrown at you proves that you find throwing things an
acceptable practice, just as Norm has suggested all of you useless
Connecticut drunks did. Also, Lorne resisted Norm's removal(Norm was
likely fired because of a writer Ohlmeyer hated), so you are correct that
he did know what he was doing in trying to keep a funny funny man on the show.
Dave - 05/05/98 04:10:03
My URL:http://wqaq.home.ml.org
My Email:ciagldavip@quinnipiac.edu
Location: Hamden CT
Age: 19
Fave Late Night Nost: Leno!
Comments:
College that screwed Norm? HAHA no...see everybody was chearing his name,
waiting for him to come out on stage...and he comes out...and BOMBS. nobody
scrwed norm but himself. perhaps if he laid off the crack. dave>>
Your favorite host is Leno, and that proves you have no taste, and also
proves Norm is innocent of all charges against him.
P.S. Your web site is soooo not funny.
Gus - 05/06/98 20:30:53
My Email:*****
Location: Hamden
Age: 21
Fave Comedian: -Sandler and Scott Papacuri (The one who saved the show that
Norm destroyed)
Fave Show: Simpsons
Fave Late Night Nost: Letterman
Comments:
Ok all you dellusioned morons. Get with the times. NORM SUCKS!!!! I had
seen Norm and anxiously awaited his show at quinnipiac college. WHAT A
FUCKIN' DISAPPOINTMENT!!!! Lets put it this way, I was SOBER, and he wasn't
even funny. I couldve been dr nk off my ass or high as a kite and he still
would've been dumb. He may claim that the students at QC were too drunk but
that didnt stop Connecticut's Kiss95.7 DJ Scott Papacuri from bringing the
crowd to a roaring laughter. Obviously we were all sober nough to
understand him, now why not Norm??? Easily, He was NOT funny and he stood
there drinking water and thats it. He even went as far to say "I'm just
standing here to see if I am gonna get paid, then I'll leave." Yeah, great
comedian there. Do Ohlmeyer had it right. Norm is finished and the reason
he only did the news is because thats all he could do and he was even
losing his touch with that. Kevin Nealon was and will always be one of the
best with Weekend Update. To go back to the
QC inc dent, the moron claims he was traumatized and cancelled atleast two
of his other shows. MORON. Thats all I have to say. The name Norm MacDonald
to me will always be synonomous with Burnt-out-loser!!! Bye Norm and get a
life.
Kevin Nealon? WTF? Who is on crack now? Here you say you had seen Norm
and you anxiously awaited his appearance. This suggest you must have in
some way considered him to be funny. Then you go on to say that you were
dissapointed, suggesting that you thought he would be funny based on prior
knowledge of his funniness. But you also say how he sucks. You also
suggest he was bad at skits, even though he was almost universally
recognized as the highlight of each show he was on AFTER being removed from
UPDATE. You go on to say Norm was just drinking water and standing there,
which sounds like an amusing bit by itself. If he will always be a burnt
out loser, how is he supposed to get a life? That makes no sense. I wish
you were here so I could throw things at you. The end.
Send replies to the address below or to RED directly at INWOsuxRED@aol.com
© 1997 hbauld@netcom.ca
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