GC: Now Melisssa I don't want you to spoil the fun, under any circumstances. Understand?
MM: Yes Goddess.
GC: Good. Now how do I look?
MM: Fine. But you should remove the dagger. Hudson never wears one.
HL: She's right Cally, I don't.
GC: Removes the dagger ((with disappointment))
MM: The sheath too.
GC: ((grumbling under her breath, removes the sheath)) Better?
MM: Perfect.
HL: Now me, how do I look?
MM: Very Godlike. But it's your actions that always give you away.
HL: We've been practicing. Go ahead, ask me anything.
MM: ((please this is never going to work))
GC: ((Bounces my thoughts into Hudson's head))
HL: You doubt my abilities bard?!
MM: Wow! That was pretty good.
HL: Thanks.
GC: Ok show time.
The Goddess (GC) - Obviously *I* am invited.
Hudson Leick (HL) - Obviously *Hudson* is invited.
Melissa (MM) - well it is your house and need someone to cater to my whims.
Galloway - He's a fine bard, as bards go. (Don't you dare tell him I said so!) He has been showing me this thing called cyberspace...why have you never introduced me to cyberspace Melissa? Hmmm?
Erin - My Gal Pal
Sherry - always fun to tease the newbies
Mad Cater (Mad) - we need to discuss a certain .sig file regarding Gods and Apathy
Matt (MP) - oh alright Melissa, if he must come.
((((((ding dong))))))
HL: Could you get that Melissa?
MM: (thinking: oh sure it's not like I am busy COOKING or anything!) (Ok truth be told I wasn't, I had talked matt into bringing some chow from the food court, nobody would know the difference. I merely *thought* I was busy so as not to upset the Goddess, besides she would be disappointed if I wasn't at least a bit sarcastic, all part of my charm...)
GC: Uhm Melissa, for future reference when you are trying to fool me into thinking that you are busy doing something, it is not a good idea to then go into a lengthy monologue about how you are really doing nothing....I thought we went over this "aside" thing already.
MM: (blank stare) I thought you were being Hudson for the night.
GC: (arching an eyebrow) This is a dangerous game you are playing bard.
HL: Get the door!
MM: ok, ok already....
HL: (arching an eyebrow)
MM: (sigh) Goddess.
HL: Better.
MM: (open the door- It's Erin)
Erin: I brought brownies. (shoves the pan at the bard) Oh hi Goddess.
HL: Hi Erin. Glad you could make it.
MM: (shaking my head so only Hudson can see)
HL: I mean, it's about time you got here!
Erin: Uh sorry Goddess, traffic was a bear.
(((((ding dong))))))
Erin: You really should have that door bell changed Melissa. The war cry is much more endearing.
GC: War cry?
Erin: Oh yes Hudson, it is fantastic you'd love it.
MM: (answer the door - It's Galloway)
Galloway: (carrying bottle of Sparkling Apple Cider) Hi Melissa
MM: (stare at bottle) What, do you have a death wish?
Galloway: It's Apple Cider.
MM: I know that, but the Goddess doesn't generally ask questions and that bottle looks an awfully lot like a champagne bottle.
Galloway: I see what you mean. (getting a bit nervous)
MM: Here let me take it, I'll figure something out.
(Matt comes walking up behind Galloway)
MM: (Thinking: perfect.) Here Matt, hold this for a sec.
Matt: (Takes the bottle without thinking) okey-dok.
For a brief moment Melissa feels a tad guilty for sticking Matt with the wrath that would surely befall him when the Goddess catches sight of the Cider Bottle, in fact she was about to take it back when....
Matt: Oh shoot!
Erin: (draws her gun)
Matt: Figure of speech! Figure of Speech!
Erin: oh. (with disappointment)
Matt: I forgot to bring the food.
MM: (blank stare) Tell me you're joking.
Matt: Ok, I am joking. (LOL) Why don't you just have the Goddess will something up?
MM: (blank stare) Who are you? Hello? You know the Goddess prefers her food made the old fashioned way...at the food court. (grumble, mutter)
Matt: What was that?
MM: (evil grin) Why don't you just give that bottle to the Goddess?
Matt: Whatever. Hi Goddess, brought ya a little gift.
HL: Oooo. Sparkling Cider! I love this stuff.
MM: (DoH!)
Galloway: (grumbling...that's the last time I listen to Melissa.)
GC: (scowling at the bottle)
MM: Uhm, HUDSON is there anything I can get you?
GC: (remembering that she is suppose to be Hudson) I'm fine thanks. (still glaring at Matt)
Matt: (to Melissa) Ouch. What's up with Hudson?
(((((ding dong))))))
MM: I'll get it!
ALL: (blank stare: collectively think: as if there was ever any doubt)
MM: (open the door.) Hi Sherry. Say...do you take last minute catering requests?
Sherry: How last minute?
MM: Like for tonight.
Sherry: Hmmm. Well it will cost ya.
MM: Not a problem. I have truck loads of cash at my disposal.
S: Really? Truck loads? They wouldn't happen to be from a certain bank, now would they?
MM: (thinking: hey for a newbie she's got this intimidation thing down pretty well) uh...er...
Sherry: Tell you what. I will overlook what I just heard (thinking: Great I just got tomorrow's headlines in the tabloids!) but now you owe me big. And not in money, I am thinking something more like you pulling a few strings with the Goddess.
MM: sure, sure, whatever. Now can you get the food or what?
S: No problem. (picks up her cell phone)
((((((ding dong)))))))
GC: Wait! That would be "The God of Apathy," (evil grin) let me get it.
MM: (thinking: you have to stay in character goddess)
GC: Forget it then, you answer.
MM: Hi there Mad Catter.
HL: Well it's about time you got here! You apathetic piece of...(breaks character ‘cuz she just cracked herself up)
Mad: (looking really confused, and of course really scared) (gulp) Sorry Goddess. Traffic was a bear.
Then all Tartarus broke loose. It started when, quite inexplicably, Margaretta machines started popping up all over the room. Ok actually it started before then, when Hudson started snacking on some dip she discovered in the kitchen.
HL: For the love of Pete! (spits repugnant mayo dip across the room) (someone was going to pay)
Hudson stalked out of the kitchen, getting half way to the guests before realizing that foul taste was still in her mouth. "BLAST!" Just as she found Melissa (surely this was her fault somehow) Margaretta machines start appearing. Naturally everyone assumed it must be the Goddess's doing. This left us all rather baffled, why would the Goddess create alcohol? What kind of horrible test was this?! And then Hudson, still furious from having actually been exposed to mayonnaise, did the unthinkable. She drank a Margaretta! This left most of the dinner guests even more confused, because as you will recall Hudson was still pretending to be Callisto. Now there was some good news in all of this, the Goddess didn't actually know what a Margaretta was. So as far as she could tell Hudson had merely just downed a slurpy. Once this little tid bit became abundantly clear to Hudson, she decided to have a little fun at everyone's expense. By demanding that they drink a Margaretta along with her. The room quickly filled with blank stares. To which Hudson merely increased the intimidation factor, "DRINK!" She unsheathed her dagger. Soon all the party guests (save the Goddess who hated Slurpies and Melissa who wasn't about to put her life on the line because Hudson said so) were chugging down margs.
The fun couldn't last forever, it quickly became clear that the dinner guests were under the influence of some sort of mind altering substance. The Goddess grew suspicious.
GC: Melissa? What is wrong with everyone? Why they seem positively giddy!
Melissa was now faced a dilemma, she knew the reason everyone was acting so strangely but if she told then heads would roll, quite literally she was afraid, including hers for not telling in the first place. But if she didn't tell she would be lying and the Goddess hates lying most of all. So she told.
Callisto didn't say a word. She just vanished.
MM: (thinking: *that* can't be good.)
HL: Hey where'd did Cally go?
Galloway: Uhm, what are you taking about...Goddess? (but in the back of his mind he knew...)
They all did.
Sherry: Hudson? (with a squeaky voice)
HL: Yep. Me. (totally oblivious to the panic forming around her) Hey what do you all say we carry this little party on over to the Red Light District? Melissa, get your keys.
Sometimes we are all a bit befuddled by Hudson's logic.
Return to the Bard's Pathetic Stories
Get your own Free Home Page