Unsuspecting twins ran joyously through the meadowlands. Ok not so much joyous as will nill, but the twins never really were big on order. On this particular day they were playing one of their all time favorite childhood games - Xena: Warri....er we mean...Destroyer of Nations. Goddess Callisto watched invisible from the side lines, critiquing the twins performance, "pathetic" as usual. Tho she did notice one or two of them had a flare for creating an interesting story, the others totally batched it in their dramatic interpretation. She didn't care if they were just a bunch of 4 year-olds, there was no excuse for such lackluster presentation.
Then she got an idea. An awful idea. The Grinch...er we mean, Callisto...got a wonderful awful idea. Perhaps, she thought, the twins would be inspired by a visit from the DoN herself. And so the Goddess concentrated on folding time, on bringing the past to the future, on conjuring up Xena.
It seemed like a perfectly good idea at the time....
But something went terribly wrong....Xena actually showed up. And it wasn't the nice reformed one, but the evil blood thirsty warlord.
GC: oops.
The sky went dark. Thunder shook the earth.
MM: No Goddess, I can't. Please....not again....just make it go away.
GC: Melissa, think. Everything about this world has been a torment. We've been guided through it for a reason. Whatever happens, we have to go through it together.
MM: I prefer just to not go through it at all.
GC: I can't stop it.
Hatred (who looks strikingly like a certain Goddess of Chaos...a coincidence, Gabrielle assures us) [Sings]:
"It begins very small,
Seems like nothing much at all.
Just a germ, just a speck, just a grain.But the seed has been sewn,
And before you know it's grown,
It has spread through your life like a stain.
MM: that was...well, it was.
Hate: Look I didn't write this stuff. Don't blame me.
Gabrielle: (just her voice) Hey! I heard that!
Hate (continues):
And its power will strangle
Your love and your joy.
And its hunger consumes--
For it lives to destroy!
[Xena, Hercules, Pappa Smurf, and Iolaus appear during the singing of the last verse]
GC: Hatred, Melissa, that's what we're fighting -- hatred.
MM: How do you get that?
GC: Hello? Pappa Smurf? What else could it be?
MM: good point.
Hate: do you two mind?
Hatred Chorus: Yeah we are TRYING to do a job over here.
GC: Excuse me?
Hate: You'll get out of here faster.
GC: oh...uh pay attention bard.
MM: (blank stare)
Hatred Chorus:
Hate is the star;
It becomes who you are.
Not the hated but the hater--
Has a torment that's greater.
MM: (frown) Gabrielle wrote this?
GC: I think so. Why?
MM: It's just that, I always thought...I mean...in the history books she...
GC: she what?
MM: she uh...
GC: Just spit it out already.
MM: (thinking)
GC: I wouldn't.
MM: (swallows)
Lightening streaks across the sky.
MM: (suddenly finds herself bound to an alter) Goddess, I don't think we have time for this right now.
GC: (tied to a cross) rats.
MM: (looks at Callisto) Goddess, are you aware that there are several rats crawling around on that cross?
GC: that's what I said. Rats. (muttering) Sometimes you can be so dense...
Hatred choir: It will eat you alive, Consume you and spit you out.
GC & MM: ::blush::
Hatred choir:
Hate's gonna win--
That there's no doubt about!Hate doesn't care
Who you are!
Hate is the star!
MM: seems like this gal Hate is having some serious delusions of grandeur.
GC: I'll say. Perhaps when we get back to Cirra you could hook her up with Gene.
Hatred choir: (singing louder)
Learning hate is an art.
Even people who are smart
Can be caught, can be crushed, can be creamed.
MM: don't I know it.
Hatred choir: (louder & angrier)
Hate has swallowed you whole.
Did you think you're in control?
Hate you thought, hate you spoke, hate you dreamed.All your hate gave me substance--
Your lives are undone.
It's your eve of destruction--
Your hatred has won!
GC: I'm not sure I see the problem here.
Hatred choir: That's it! (wave hands through the air)
A clone of Goddess Callisto carrying a knife appears by the alter. She raises the kife up over the bard. At this exact moment a clone of Melissa appears carrying a mallet. She swings it back to crush Callisto's legs.
MM: Goddess!
GC: Melissa!
Hatred laughs.
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