The Rift

MM: Goddess, quick! (motions for Callisto to follow her through the waterfall)

GC: (touches the water) (ZAP) I can't.

[Hatred laughs.]

MM: (sharp look to Hate) Do you mind?! (to Callisto) Of course you can.

GC: It's no use, Melissa. It's Gene.

MM: Gene? Well yes, I know he can be a bit annoying sometimes, but that's really no reason not to return to Cirra.

GC: No, you don't understand.

[Hatred morphs into Gene and laughs.]

Gene: Interesting manifestation Goddess.

GC: (sneer)(draws her dagger) That's it!

Gene: (whimper) (passes out flat)

MM: (with awe) wow, you just made hate whimper.

GC: ::beaming:: it was nothing.

MM: I wouldn't say that. Did you see the way his eyes rolled back just before he went out?

GC: It was pretty cool, wasn't it? (g)

MM: It was perfect. Now come on Goddess, let's get out of here.

GC: (steps toward the waterfall - crackle) uh...what's the hurry?

MM: Hello. Millennium is on in five minutes. Or have you forgotten, it's your favorite show?

GC: What are you talking about bard? You know I...

MM: (little goofy grin)

GC: Have you been hanging out with Ares again?

MM: uh...(averts eye contact)....no?

GC: You know I don't like you watching that violent trash. (steps into the waterfall...or rather attempts to and gets zapped back) Son of a Bachae! Come here bard!

MM: I think not.

GC: (smiles sweetly) please.

MM: right.

GC: Dammit Melissa, I'm not playing around here.

MM: Then just come over here. By the Gods Goddess, it's just water! (jumps back and forth through it a few times) See.

GC: (be calm Callisto. You can always kill her later) Look bard I have been trying to tell you that I CAN'T pass through. Something is holding me back.

MM: what?

GC: Gene.

MM: But he's passed out, how could it be Gene?

GC: THAT is not Gene, it's Hate. It simply looks like Gene because its a manifestation of a deeper rooted problem that my subconscious mind has projected on to....

MM: (blank stare)

GC: (muttering) why do I even bother?

MM: I don't get it.

GC: (blurts out) Gene is a twin.

MM: Really? With who?

GC: (blank stare) Julio Cesar Chavez, you fool. Who do you think?

MM: the boxer?

GC: (SCREAMS)

MM: oh. OH! But you said there were no more of us. You gave me your word. You lied?

[Ming T'ien laughs.]

MM & GC: (blank stare)

Gabby: sorry it was the best I could do, what with psychotherapist boy passed out over here. (muttering) this is the last time I hire a bunch of Cirrans...pathetic.

GC: [Sings]: Yes, I lied. Thought I could protect you from the truth. Deliver you from evil, Spare your-- innocence and youth.

MM: Aren't you being just a tad melodramatic. I mean he's a therapist, it's not like he's Dahak or David Hasselhoff or something. Besides the savings incurred by the family rate alone will make him a valued twin.

GC: well, that's true.

MM: (frown) (smile) And it gives me another little brother to pick on. (starts to lapse into an all the really juvenile pranks she can pull on her newest brother haze...itching power, super glue, henban...er...red fire ants....)

GC: so you're not mad?

MM: (shrug) Very little phases me these days.

GC: Well that's good to hear because there's more.

MM: What do you mean - more?

GC: Just a second. (tests waterfall - ZAP) Bugger. It's Mr Galloway.

MM: Where?

GC: don't make me hurt you.

MM: Galloway is a twin? Why didn't you tell me?

GC: (blank stare)

MM: Yes, but he is a GOOD bard.

GC: (blank stare)

MM: (sigh) you should have told me.

GC: well it's bad enough that we have one odd bard hanging around Cirra - no offense - (thinking) well, yah offense - we don't need two. (shudders)

MM: Just because I didn't KNOW he was a twin doesn't make him any less my brother Goddess. I mean, he's still Odd right?

GC: Shut up.

Gabrielle: you are never going to get out of there with that attitude.

GC: (grumble) Gimme that. (rips the script out of Gabby's hands) (reading) what? You want me to say - I'm so sorry, I couldn't be the mother you deserved?

MM: You see, already Gene is coming in handy. (mental note: confirm appointment at Oedipal Complex)

Gabby: oops sorry again. ::blush:: wrong script.

GC: (muttering) (looks at Melissa) Look bard, I just didn't think you could deal with another oddity twin right now.

MM: you mean two new twins.

GC: whatever. The point is I had YOUR best interest at heart.

MM: (blank stare)

GC: Alright, I had mine. But really what's the difference right?

MM: (scowl)

GC: oh come on! I said I was sorry. What more do you want from me?

MM: sincerity. Besides, you never said you were sorry, you just read some piece of paper the irritating blonde gave you.

Gabrielle: Hey!

MM: piss off.

Gabrielle: (jaw drops open) (to Callisto) are you just going to let her talk like that?

GC: (thinking) Well if you would let me pass through the waterfall I could teach her a lesson. Hmmm?

Gabrielle: I'm afraid I can't do that.

GC: Well then - piss off.

Gabrielle: you try to do something nice for a blood thirsty Goddess who's heart has been eaten away by hate, and THIS is the thanks you get?! Well I don't need the abuse thank you very much. (vanishes)

GC: good going Melissa, now I'll never get out of here.

MM: But you...

GC: Don't question me. Just think of a way to get me free.

MM: (Censored)

GC: Ha-Ha very funny.

MM: you could try apologizing.

GC: for what?

MM: for not telling me about the other twins.

GC: oh. Uh...sorry. (attempts to go through the waterfall - ZAP)

MM: I think you have to sing it.

GC: (blank stare) (heavy sigh) (sings) I'm sorry.

MM: (LOL)

GC: (someone's getting a serious hinder kicking when I get out of here)

MM: maybe you have to sing it in one of those songs Gabrielle wrote.

GC: (blank stare)

MM: not the one about Solon Goddess.

GC: oh. (filters through some scrolls Gabby left behind) (sings) I'm sorry, please help me, forgive me.

MM: you have to actually mean it too.

GC: (mutter) fine. (sings)

I'm sorry, please help me, forgive me.
Don't hate me, don't leave me, forgive me.
Forgive me my debt as only you could.
Forgive me the hate; replace evil with good.
Forgive me and find out that you--
Will be able to forgive yourself, too.

MM: I forgive you Goddess.

GC: (deep breath) (attempts to step through the waterfall) (ZAP) TARTARUS!

MM: (cringe)

GC: You knew it wouldn't work all along, didn't you?

MM: (suppressing an evil grin) how could I?

Gabrielle: (rematerializing) You know what you have to do Callisto.

GC: I thought you left.

Gabrielle: well frankly I would have thought the two of you would have settled this by now. Hades it only took Xena and I forty-five minutes.

MM: were there firemen involved?

Gabrielle: (blank stare) How do you put up with her anyway?

MM: well it ain't easy.

Gabrielle: I wasn't talking to you.

MM: oh.

GC: I already told her about Gene. Sweet mother of Hestia, I even told her about the bard. I don't see why she needs to know about the (scrunches up her face) other one.

MM: Pandora?! Pandora's a twin?

GC: how did you get that?

MM: I'm a bard, Goddess. Charades is one of my many skills. And that face you made was clearly the "if only she didn't make those delicious waxed lips that Velasca lovin warrior wanna be would be out on her hinder" look.

GC: oh.

MM: So is it true? Is Pandora a twin?

GC: I don't know Melissa, perhaps you better call Julio.

MM: Bite me.

GC: Don't tempt me.

MM: no time. Anyway, why didn't you tell me about HER sooner, she's no bard.

GC: Well, something's not quite right about her, you know?

MM: (mutter) you mean because she's an Oddity Twin?

GC: No. It's more than that. I think I may have dropped her on her head during the scattering.

MM: (blank stare)

GC: It was an accident, I assure you.

MM: right.

GC: well, it was. (singing)

I'm sorry, believe me.
Stop hating, stop hurting,
Forgive me.

MM: So let me get this straight. All this time there have been three more long lost oddity twins, they have been living in Cirra, and you knew about them all along. And now you want that I should just forgive you?

GC: that pretty much sums it up, yes.

MM: (frown)

GC: (big goofy grin)

MM: (sigh) oh alright, I forgive you. Just one thing, promise me that if there are more twins you will tell me right here and now.

GC: (frown) (cautiously steps through the waterfall)(smile) Ok deal.

Hatred screams and disappears.....

The Goddess Callisto and her bard wake to find themselves laying in the ocean surf.

MM: (cough cough) Goddess help me! I can't swim.

GC: yes you can. And besides we are in like what, an inch of water.

MM: oh.


THE END

Oddity Twins Productions hereby absolves itself of any and all responsibility for the - and we use this term loosely - Fan Fiction produced in this and the several other posts entitled THE RIFT. Heck if we had known we were going to become such a major component of it, we would have tied the blasted thing up in litigation days ago.

We would however, like to welcome our newest Brothers and Sister into the Fold. (insert maniacal laughter) Let their assimilation be a lesson to all - watch your backs, resistance is futile, we are not who we are, this is who we are, live long and prosper, Shaaaazzam!

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