Aleph: Melissa, be calm. Open your eyes. Lies may be truth, And truth may be lies.
MM: Please Goddess, stop. I beg of you. I can't take much more.
Aleph: Fate is a wheel. It will reveal, All you've become-- All that you feel.
MM: (whimper)
meanwhile....
Warrior Chorus [bello, tower, erin, jake]: Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!
GC: (screams)
Warrior Chorus: Ooops wrong script. Callisto! Callisto! Callisto! Callisto! Callisto!
GC: please. You're going to have to do better than that.
Warrior Chorus [singing]: Famed for prowess with a sword, Who's as feared as Isadore, You've not lived till you've been gored-- by Callisto!
GC: Look that type of blatant brown nosing doesn't work with me. So just get to the point already.
Acean: (materializing)(sultry singing) You-- are the most divine, delicious warrior.
GC: Excuse me pissant?
Acean: Ares.
GC: right. I think I know Ares and you are not him or a him for that matter.
Acean: Look they couldn't afford Kevin Smith so I'm filling in ok. Just go with it. Now where was I? (clears throat) A man can't help Saluting your return.
GC: That's it I'm out of here.
Aleph: The darkness that rots you. Has brought you to this.
Snake: Surrender serenity, Suffer sweet misery. Sin seeks its cursed abysssss.
MM: That's it, I draw the line at talking snakes. I'm out of here.
GC: (muttering)(walking aimlessly through Ilusia) Where is that bard? I swear, once we get out of here....
MM: (muttering)(walking aimlessly through Ilusia) Where is that Goddess. I swear, once we get out of here...
Matt: (materializes) {singing}And if you're in a land that's new, I'm the man who'll get you through.
MM: Twin! Oh thank the Gods you're here.
Matt: Shhh. I'm being your guide here. {singing} Welcome home!
MM: Cut the....
Matt joined by Trancer, Jeff, and some other guy (or gal) we're not telling: You and me love peace..
MM: Do not. Take that back.
Oddity Choir: With the ducks and goats and geese!
MM: Hey what you guys do in your spare time is...
OC: Wile the hours away, Baking bread, pitching hay.
MM: perhaps you have mistaken me for Martha Stewart. Cut the song and dance. What's going on? Where are we?
OC: [speaking as one] we can't say. But it's all Callisto's fault.
MM: (frown) That's suppose to be a newsflash? When is it not her fault?
Jeff: you said that out loud you know
MM: who cares, I appear to have died and gone to Oz anyway.
Galloway: : Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
MM: What the? Who said that?
Galloway: : don't you listen? I said pay NO attention to the man behind the curtain.
MM: Well then you shouldn't have said anything at all then.
Inaudible mumbling from behind the curtain.
MM: just get out here already! I have a letter opener you know!
(muttering) Charming.
MM: What was that?
I said CHARMING! As in you could use a lesson or two.
MM: Geek is that you?
DoH! Uhm...no.
MM: Look if you don't come out...
Geekgrrl, Galloway, and Darth Skeye all come wandering out from behind the curtain.
MM: What's going on here.
Darth: redemption.
Geek: vengeance.
Galloway: : healing.
MM: (blank stare)
Geek: Hopeless.
Darth: Hey that's not in the script.
Geek: I know, I was just making a general observation.
Darth: : oh.
Geek: pathetic.
Darth: : (blank stare)
Geek: again, just a general observation.
MM: Stop that. And tell me what's going on here.
Galloway: : sing a song to be heard.
MM: Yeah yeah this is Ilusia. Just get to the point.
Galloway, Geek & Darth: : (arching an eyebrow)
MM: (sigh) (smile through clenched teeth) (sing) Yeah yeah this is Ilusia. Just get to the point.
Geek: (cringe) perhaps we could forgo the singing.
Galloway & Darth: : agreed.
MM: (mutter)
Galloway: : We are doing this for bards everywhere.
MM: so *you* are responsible for this little creation?
Galloway: : (confused look) no. How did you get that?
MM: You just said...never mind, just tell me why am I here? And how do I get out?
Darth: : by healing the rift.
MM: what rift?
Darth: : with the Warrior Queen.
MM: Warrior Queen?
Darth: : Yes, Callisto.
MM: Oh you mean the Goddess.
Geek: For what is a bard without a warrior?
MM: Oh I don't know - alive perhaps?
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