The Rift

part 9

When we last left the Bard and her Goddess

*SMACK*

When we last left the Goddess and her bard, the latter was getting her mouth washed out with soap.

....Somewhere back in Cirra, Gene mutters softly to himself. Something about overtime and the Oedipal Complex.....

MM: Ivory?

GC: nope.

MM: Oil of Olay?

GC: (shaking her head)

MM: Irish Spring?

GC: oh now you're not even trying.

MM: (devious grin) Lava?

GC: cute. But no. Come on bard *think!*

MM: Ivory with a touch of Dove and a splash of Pall Mall.

GC: that's my girl. (ruffles Melissa's hair)

MM: (crooked grin) and do I detect just a hint of Cascade?

GC: (big smile) an after thought.

MM: brilliant.

GC: ::beaming:: well, I'm not heartless you know.

Acean: this has got to be the most pathetic thing I think I have ever seen.

Gabrielle: (materializing) Tell me about it, she gives bards everywhere a bad name.

Acean: (blank stare) I meant the display of affection.

Gabrielle: me too. She's one twisted sister.

Acean: Yeah.

Gabrielle: I meant the bard.

Acean: me too.

Gabrielle: She needs to get angry if this is to work. We must convince her, Callisto's a jerk.

Acean: you can cut the rhyming.

Gabrielle: huh? Oh. Well, surely you can do something to speed up the process, you're the God of War after-all.

Acean: How many times do I have to tell you people I am only playing the part, which means I didn't actually get any of the nifty powers that goes along with the job, just the bad pay and the long hours. Besides, you're the one that hooked this thing up in the first place why don't *you* do something?

Gabrielle: (sigh) well this is my first try at it. I haven't had the chance to work out the bugs yet. It went so well when Xena and I did it, I just thought...oh fiddlesticks...

Acean: fiddlesticks?

Gabrielle: Callisto's not the only one who doesn't like swearing bards. Hey I got it! (waves her hand throught he air)

Matt: (age 7, materializes)

MM: who's the kid?

GC: (guilty look) don't know.

Gabrielle: It's Matt.

MM: That? Matt?

Gabrielle: Finally someone rhymes.

MM: but how? I mean, he's....

Gabrielle: oh yes that's right, you never have seen your dear twin at age 7, or 8 (a second Matt age 8 Materializes), or 9 (Matt age 9), or 10....

GC: Stop it!

Gabrielle: or how about Trancer (Trancer appears age 9) or Jeff (jeff appears age 79), or...

GC: ENOUGH!

Gabrielle: and why is that Melissa? Why don't you recognize your own twins? Hmmmm?

GC: Don't listen to her bard, she's trying to confuse you.

MM: (whispering) because of her.

Gabrielle: yes that's right, because of Callisto.

GC: Yes but bard think of all the extra room you had. No hand me downs from Jeff. No sharing the bathroom with Matt. No Alaskan snow ninja gi joe kung-fu grips from Trancer....

MM: (sigh)

GC: Ok bad example. No firemen run....ok again bad example. Come to think of it Trancer is pretty cool, I might have done you a real disservice there. (shrug) oh well, I'm over it.

MM: I hate you.


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