Get your own Free Home PageThe fan femmes drifted happily through the crowd. It was their dream come true, they were cartoon characters! True, it was a highly experimental soapie with everyone expected to flop like Launchpad’s short career in fence building, but what the heck!
Manderbug was chatting up Bushroot, Zyora and Drakey were dancing, Thlayli and Nosedive were seeing how many tricks they could play on Negaduck without getting shot at (none, he shot at them as soon as he saw them), NegaQuiv and Megavolt were doing something to all the lightbulbs in the toilets, Iago was hiding from Zundra(she had found out about his short fling with that ibis from Egypt), Kat was chasing Steelbeak, Duchess was watching Negaduck trying to annihilate his would-be tormentors, Darkwing and Morgana were sitting quietly watching the “kids” and Timon was happily stuffing his face.
“Why does this story start with everyone at a ball?”Nosedive asked Thlayli after they’d gotten away from the angry Negaduck.
“I don’t know. What should happen next?” Thlayli pondered.
“A cat fight! If this is a soapie, you’re gonna have to have a few of those.”
“Good idea! Now I know why I go out with you.” she giggled, as she pecked him on the cheek.
Nosedive feigned hurt. “You mean it isn’t cause I’m hunky?”
“Well, that does help. Anyway, let’s get on with this.”
Suddenly a cat fight broke out between Kat(duh) and Shadowfeather Raven.
“You dumb bird! FOWL could beat SHUSH with their hands tied behind their back!”
“You be careful pussy! Or you better hope you have more than nine lives!”
“Is that a threat? Are you threatening me?”
“And she calls me dumb! Hello, that was definitely a threat!”
They started scratching and pecking respectively at each other. Steelbeak looked like he was going to rescue Kat for a minute, then he changed his mind.
“And get this suit dirty? What am I, nuts?” He brushed off some imaginary dirt.
Nosedive rubbed his hands together. “This is good.”
Then Morgana waved her arms in the air, and Kat and Shadowfeather found that there was an invisible wall in between them.
“Aww, foul play!” Nosedive was annoyed. “I love seeing fan girls fight!”
Thlayli rolled her eyes. “They aren’t your fans.” she pointed out. “Most of them are his fans.” She pointed to Darkwing.
Nosedive folded his arms. “What’s he got that I haven’t?”
“A cartoon named after him. A really great fashion sense. Nifty entrance lines. That expressive forehead that does that cute wrinkly thing...” Thlayli was staring at him and her voice trailed off.
Nosedive waved his hand in front of her face and whistled. “Hey, come off it. He’s too old for you, and you’re already taken. Don’t break my heart babe!”
Thlayli turned and smiled at him. “OK. But I still like the Darkwing Duck cartoon better than “The Mighty Ducks”.”
He pulled her onto the dancing floor and smiled. “I can live with that.”
After the dance, Thlayli flopped onto her bed. She heard someone come on, and she rolled over. Timon hopped up to sit on the bed.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“I can’t decide who I really like.” she groaned. “It’s between Nosedive and Drakey.”
Timon looked thoughtful. “Well, lets see. You’re already going out with Nosedive. Drakey is madly in love with Zyora. Something tells me you should stick with Nosedive.”
“But you need scandal in a soap opera! I’m not doing very well so far.”
Timon smiled mischievously. “Let me get this straight. This is a story, right? So what happens has no effect on the real world, right? Whatever you type happens, right? So why not just write really outrageous stuff?”
Thlayli sat up. “That’s right! Come on Timon, I dub you assistant author. Let’s go.”
Thlayli and Timon crept into the computer room, and switched Sally(the computer) on. Sally asked them why they were on the computer at two in the morning. Thlayli told her not to worry.
Timon: Since when does Sally talk?
Thlayli: Since now. Hurry up, we have to write this now. When we hit save, everything will start to happen.
Timon: This sounds so fake.
Thlayli: DUH! That’s cause it is! Now follow the script.
Timon: Umm, it says “Timon hits the save button”.
Thlayli: *growls* Timon...
Timon: OK, just kidding. Shesh, never work in publishing....
*Timon presses button*
Suddenly the whole of St Canard started to shake. Everyone was staying at the same hotel “Hyde Pond” and they all ran(or flew or waddles WHATEVER) out as fast as they could go. Fires started everywhere and lots of buildings collapsed. In fact, all the buildings in St Canard fell down, except the Bay Bridge. So everyone went to stay in Darkwing’s hide-out. Everyone except Darkwing thought that was really cool, as it meant that half the villains in St Canard knew his hideout. NegaQuiv and Thlayli started going on rides back and forth from the Tower to the house, Tower to house, Tower, house, Tower, house etc. Most others milled around talking. Negaduck tried to sabotage every single piece of crime fighting equipment, while Megavolt continued his “free the lightbulbs in toilets spree”.
Suddenly Steelbeak started chatting up Duchess. Negaduck bonked Steely, Kat screamed at Duchess and soon everyone was fighting except for the DWFCSHS, cause they knew the whole thing was a set up. Oh, and then debbie tried to stop everyone, cause she’s nice. Then everyone but the DWFCSHS and NegaQuiv(she was still taking rides on the chairs) started ganging up on Thlayli, cause she implied that debbie was nice and the others weren’t. Just when Thlayli’s hair and ears were nearly yanked off, Jean walked in. Darkwing and Morgana had been smooching instead of fighting, and she saw them.
“What are you doing to my husband?” Jean cried.
“You’re husband? He’s MY husband!” Morgana screamed back, her eyes starting to glow.
Turns out Darkwing is into bigamy. His wives weren’t too pleased with that, so Morgana turned him into low-fat yogurt pudding(she’s on a diet) and she and Jean happily started to eat it.
“Noooooooooooooo!” Thlayli screamed! “Hit the delete button quick Timon!”
Timon opened his eyes(the whole thing had kinda been a dream, like the Wizard of Oz) and pressed the button. Thlayli woke up sore, Darkwing woke up feeling wobbly, and everyone else woke up feeling liked they’d been a fighting crowd. But no one remembered their dream thingy but Thlayli and Timon.
Story(if you could call it that!) Copyright Rachel “Thlayli” Baker ‘98. Some character Copyright Disney, and used without permission. The rest Copyright their respective owners, and used without permission.
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