Episode 1.03

TOW Chandler's Dad Part One

Well, there's been a slight change of plan in that, about three-quarters of my way through the script, I decided I couldn't possibly fit everything I needed to in one script. So I split it in to two. The next one should be along shortly and I apologise to anyone who was expecting an episode full of Monica's pregnancy. And please take a minute to let me know what you think, the address is at the bottom. Thanx!

Teaser

Scene: Monica and Chandler's apt. Monica is by the sink; Chandler is on the phone. It's early morning.

Chandler: (Hanging up the phone) Hey Mon, is it okay if my dad stays with us for a week or so?

Monica: Yeah, sure. I mean, as long as he isn't like your uncle, you know, the one who did nothing but eat, sleep, snore and sleepwalk? Oh and, the next time you see him, tell him I want my bras back.

Chandler: (beat) which bras? (She gives him a 'look')

Monica: I don't think that matters. (She walks towards him

Slowly and suggestively) But would it help to speed up the process if I told you that one of them was the black lacy one that you like?

Chandler: I'll get right on it.

Monica: (laughing) So when's your dad coming?

Chandler: I think he said the eighth.

Monica: But that's today.

Chandler: What's wrong with that?

Monica: Nothing, but we're supposed to be seeing the doctor tomorrow.

Chandler: I'm sure he won't mind if we disappear for a couple of hours in the evening. Just promise not to let him name our baby.

Monica: Not that I would do that anyway, but why?

Chandler: Who do you think was responsible for naming me?

Monica: Okay, I see your point.

Opening Credits

Scene: Central Perk, around mid-day. The gang, minus Monica, are hanging out. Chandler is complaining about his dad.

Chandler: My mom wanted to call me John, but no, dad had to have it his way.

Ross: And you actually like the name John?

Chandler: Let me put it this way. Would you like to be named Chandler?

Ross: I see your point man.

Rachel: What's he like anyway, I don't think I've ever met him.

Chandler: Well I doubt you would have unless you spend your weekends hanging around gay strip joints.

Joey: Mmmmhmmm!

Chandler: Joey, male gay strip joints.

Joey: Oh. Ewww!

Chandler: I think I'm going to ignore that comment. (He thinks for a minute) My dad. Well, I don't really know him very well, I mean, he was never around when I was a kid. Apparently I'm supposed to take after him, which scares me. But supposedly, before he became an alcoholic he was a fairly decent bloke.

Pheobe: What does he do? I mean, does he have a job or anything?

Chandler: Well, he's been sponging off the government for the past ten years. Before that I think he was a stoke broker or something.

Ross: How long has it been since you last saw him?

Chandler: I'm not sure, I think he may have turned up at my graduation, but it could have been a woman.

Pheobe: How do you feel about seeing him again? 'Cos I was kinda scared when I met my dad again.

Chandler: I'm not sure. I'm kinda excited, but a little angry with him as well.

Joey: These strip joints, does he ever go to the female gay ones?

On their looks cut to:

Scene: Monica and Chandler's apt. Monica is by herself washing dishes when there is a knock at the door. She opens it to reveal a man. (I'm picturing Mel's dad from Eastenders but more blond-sorry to anyone who doesn't know what I'm on about) I'm gonna call him Steve.

Steve: Hi, I'm Chandler's dad. (And the audience goes wild!)

Commercial Break

Scene: Monica and Chandlers apt. A few minutes later. 'Steve' has taken a seat at the table with Monica.

Steve: So you must be Chandler's girlfriend. It's nice to meet you.

Monica: Nice to meet you too.

Steve: I have to admit, I was a little surprised when you opened the door. You're much prettier than any of my sons other girlfriends. But then that is a little biased as I've never liked any of his other girlfriends.

Monica: You like me?

Steve: Well it's a little too soon to tell, but as long as you don't have body piercing and tattoos like any of them other freaks, then you're okay by me. (Monica coughs nervously) Oh god, I've offended you haven't I? What've you got?

Monica: A pierced bellybutton and an ankle tattoo.

Steve: That's…….not bad. What is it?

Monica: The Chinese symbol for love. I got it done as a dare in college.

Steve: Can I see?

Monica: (she lifts her leg up and rolls the bottom of her trousers) Sure.

Time Lapse: Couple of hours later, Monica and Steve are laughing like they're old friends. Chandler enters and they go silent.

Steve: (nervous) Hey…..son. (Chandler looks as if he is about to say something, changes his mind, turns on his heels and walks out. Monica glances at Steve then hurries to catch Chandler)

Monica: (catching him in the hallway) What's wrong?

Chandler: I don't know, it's just, I haven't seen this guy for ten years, I walk in and there he is, just sat in my kitchen.

Monica: Your kitchen?

Chandler: (smiling half heatedly) Our kitchen.

Monica: Maybe you should go and talk to him It might make you feel better.

Chandler( doubtful) I guess….

Monica: Well, you're gonna have to talk to him eventually, he's

staying for a week.

Chandler: What's he want anyway? 'Cos if it's money he's after then he's not getting it here.

Monica: Have you not considered that maybe he's here to see you?

Chandler: Briefly. Then I remembered that the last time he paid any attention to me what so ever was when I won $100 on the pools when I was nineteen.

Monica: Well maybe he's changed since then, you know. Don't judge him until you've given him a chance to explain himself.

Chandler: (looks thoughtful, then shocked) He's gotten to you hasn't he! He's told you the sob story that's his life and know you're both against me! Admit it, it's true!

Monica: Honey that's not judging, it's paranoia.

Chandler: Fine, since you're all against me I guess I've got to talk to him! (he heads towards the apartment door then pauses and turns back to Monica. He puts his hand in his pocket and takes out his wallet) Take this and run! (he opens the door and walks into the apartment. Out in the hallway Monica opens his wallet, takes out a couple of bills and puts them in one pocket, she then puts the wallet in her other pocket and we hear her thinking:

Monica: I wonder if Rachel wants to go shopping?

Cut to: Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Steve is still sitting at the table, Chandler sits down opposite him.

Chandler: (sighs) Hey.

Steve: Hello again.

Chandler: So what do you want?

Steve: What do you mean?

Chandler: I mean why are you here?

Steve: I'm here to see you. It's been long enough after all.

Chandler: Yeah right.

Steve: Listen son, I know I wasn't around for you that much when you were a kid, but I've changed, really I have. I just want

to spend some time with you is all.

Chandler: That's fine, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Steve: I know I can't get you to trust me again just like that, but I'd really like to get to know you.

Chandler: (sarcastic) Sure, I mean, you're gonna be here a whole week! That's plenty of time!

Steve: Well technically that's not true.

Chandler: What's not true?

Steve: I could actually be in New York for quite a while. I'm just staying here until I can move into my own place.

Chandler: (surprised)Oh, well, I mean…..

Steve: (cutting him off) I've gone on the straight and narrow. No more alcohol and I've even got a job here in the city to tide me over until I can retire officially and retire officially.

Chandler: (hurt) Oh yeah, I see. You got a job here in the city and you thought 'oh, I guess I'd better drop in on Chandler while I'm up there to stop myself feeling guilty for being such a lousy dad.'

Steve: Chandler no that's not why I came at all!

Chandler: (sighs) You know what, just forget it. You'd have thought I'd have gotten used to you screwing me over by now wouldn't you? (he storms into his room angrily and slams the door. Steve sighs and rests his head in his arms as the scene fades out and we cut to:-)

Tag

Scene: Monica and Chandler's apt. their room. Its night and they're laying in bed together.

Monica: So what happened?

Chandler: I don't know, we were talking and then he let slip the real reason he's here and I blew up at him. I need cheering up. (they kiss, semi-passionatly)

Monica: You know, your dad is sleeping in the next room.

Chandler: So?

Cut to:-

Rachel's old room. Steve is laying in bed. Suddenly a burst of loud giggles come from the next room, followed by creaking mattress springs. He groans and pulls a pillow over his head.

Well, that's it! What did you think? Let me know at melissa.watt@btinternet.com

Thanx and keep reading!