Hi! This is my first attempt at fan-fiction, so it's probably not all that good. I would appreciate your comments and suggestions; the address is at the bottom. Oh yeah, and before I forget, all characters are the property of Bright, Kauffman and Crane etc. etc. etc.

1.01

TOW Mrs Gellar's Spirit Friends

Teaser

Scene: Monica and Chandler's apt. -Their room. Chandler is sat on the bed looking into the wardrobe, which Monica is inside. Things are being thrown out at all angles and a lot of cursing can be heard.

Chandler: What are you looking for anyway?

Monica: Some stuff of my nan's. She called last night and said that after she moved out, she left some of her things in here. I need to send them to her.

Chandler: She only just got round to asking for them?!

Monica: She does things in her own time.

Chandler: So what did she do when WW2 started? Go down to her bomb shelter when we won?

Monica: (Throwing a shoe at Chandler) If you're not gonna help, then keep quiet!

Chandler: (Narrowly avoiding being hit by the shoe) Okay, but don't blame me when you throw too much stuff out of there and fall into Narnia!

(Monica catches her elbow on the side of the wardrobe, concealed cupboard opens and a dozen or so boxes fall out, crushing her beneath them.)

Chandler: I'm guessing you found your nan's stuff.

Opening Credits

Scene: Monica and Chandler's apt.-the front room. The boxes are now piled infront of the T.V. and the gang are sat around them.

Pheobe: What's in all these boxes anyway?

Monica: Mainly clothes I think. Heavy clothes. (She rubs her arms) Ouch!

Joey: You're lucky you didn't break anything.

Monica: Yeah, well, I sure don't feel lucky.

Ross: How is Nan anyway?

Monica: What do you care?

Ross: Well she is my grandma too!

Monica: Could have fooled me.

Ross: What's that supposed to mean?

Monica: You always preferred mom's mom. You never even visited Nan.

Ross: There was a reason for that!

Monica: Which was?

Ross: Mental homes freaked me out!

Chan/Rach/Joey:Huh?

Pheobe: Your nan ran a mental home? Cool!

Monica: No Pheebs, she ummm, she lived in one actually.

Pheobe: Huh?

Cut to- Central Perk, slightly later on. The gang are sat on the sofa and chairs.

Chandler: Your nan always seemed so normal! Well, apart from when she read tea-leaves and talked to herself.

Monica: She doesn't talk to herself, she talks to spirits.

Chandler: I should have known she was insane. She thought cartoons were the work of the devil!

Monica: She isn't and wasn't insane okay! She was wrongly commited.

Ross: Yeah, right!

Monica: Shut up!

Ross: Oh come on Mon, the woman belives she can see into the the spirit world!

Monica: Yeah, and do you know why that is?

Ross: Why?

Monica: Because she can!

Rachel: Come on you two, stop being so childish. Besides, everyone knows there's no such thing as the spirit world.

Pheobe: Uh-uh! From time to time, I see into the spirit world!

Rachel: Like I said, everyone knows the spirit worlds real!

Joey: After she was commited, did she have to wear one of those coats with long sleeves?

Monica: You mean a straight jacket? Probably, but I don't think that's the point-

Chandler: So why was she commited?

Monica: (Glances at her watch) It's kind of a long story, and as much as I would like to tell it to you, it'll have to wait 'till later I'm afraid.

Rachel:(Whiney) Why, I wanna hear the story now!

Monica: I have to go see a friend. I told her I'd be round in like, ten minutes.

Rachel: (Does a quick body count) But everyone's here!

Monica: Believe it or not, I do associate with other people.

Rachel: (Shocked) Since when?!

Commercial Break

Scene: Central Perk, slightly later. Everyone's sat around talking except for Monica. She enters looking slightly windswept.

Joey: So I told her I wasn't about to-(notices Monica) Oh hey, you're back! Now lets hear the insane grandma story!

Monica: (Sitting) You know, it's not even that interesting a story.

Chandler: We'll be the judges of that, now tell the story!

Monica: Okay, okay! (takes a deep breathe and begins) My nan has always dabbled a little in the occult. She holds seances and talks to the deceased, reads tea-leaves, that sort of thing. When I was a little girl, sevenish, she lived really close to us and I used to go and visit her all the time. At this point, I had an okay relationship with my mom. I didn't really start to despise her until I was around ten. But she resented nan. She was worried some of her traits would rub off on to me I suppose. But she didn't stop me from seeing her, she knew dad would object. In the end, things might have worked out better if she had done.

Pheobe: So what happened?

Monica: (Glaring) I was getting to that. Anyway, one day I went round to see her and she was really excited. Said she'd made contact with a big bunch of new spirits or something. She took me out to the shed at the bottom of the back garden, locked the door, drew the blinds and all that for privicy and made me light some candles.

Chandler: (Sarcastic) Oh my god, she made her granddaughter light candles! That's enough to commit anyone for!

Monica: (Smiling sweetly) Just for that, we're not doin' it tonight.

Chandler: Aw, come on, Pheobe interupted you.

Monica: Yeah, well, believe it or not, I don't make a habit out of doin' it with Pheebs!

Joey: (Raises an eyebrow suggestivly) Maybe you should do something to rectify that.

Pheobe: (Sounds grossed out)

Oh my god, I can't believe you just said rectify! Have you been buying word of the day toilet paper again?

Rachel: Come on you guys, I wanna hear the rest of the story! (Silence ensues immediately)

Monica: Okay, so the candles are lit and my nan starts to chant. Suddenly, her body shakes violently and she starts to talk in a German accent. Except of course, it's not really her, it's Stacey.

Chandler: (Tenativly, remembering what happened the last time he interupted.) Who's Stacey?

Monica: Stacey's a spirit duh. She was sixteen when she died and she was a German prostitute. Her parents threw her out when she was fourteen, 'cos they couldn't afford to support her anymore.

Rachel: (Mocking) And can you talk to Stacey?

Monica: (Glaring) Not that it's any of you're buisness, but yes. (Chandler starts to laugh) Shut up now or we're not doin' it for a week. (Chandler gets up, runs outside and starts to laugh uncontrollably-out of eyesight.)

Time Lapse

Scene: Central Perk. The gang are all back where they were-fairly contained. Monica looks peed off.

Monica: Anyway, nan was talking to Stacey. She seemed to be getting really worked up, or Stacey was. Suddenly, she went white and started to shake. Then she blached out. Only, as she fell, she knocked one of the candles over-and the shed caught fire.

Pheobe: (Upset) Oh no! What if they die!

Monica: Umm, Pheebs, if it makes you feel any better, both me and my nan are still alive.

Pheobe: What about Stacey!

Monica: Well….she's kinda dead anyway.

Pheobe: No! Poor Stacey! (She starts to cry lightly, making high squeaky sounds)

Rachel: Aw Pheebs, don't cry. (Turns to Monica eagerly) So what happened next?

Monica: Well, I was sat there petrified and I felt someone take my hand and lead me to the door. And I don't remember any of the rest. I came to in the hospital and they told me that I'd unlocked the shed, dragged my nan outside and saved her life. I just can't recall it.

Pheobe: Well duj. That's because Stacey did it, not you.

Ross: Yeah, sure she did Pheebs. (Looks at Monica) Can I tell the rest?

Monica: (Dubious) I suppose so.

Ross: When mom found out what had nearly happened, that was the last straw. The very next day she called a mental home and exposed nan for the nut-case she is.

Monica: She is not!

Ross: Sure she is. Chandler, side with me here.

Chandler: (Looks at Monica nervously) Ross, I'm sorry, but I'm a guy. I side with you and I probably go for a month without sex. What would you do?

Ross: (Thinks about it) Yeah, I see your point.

End Credits

Scene: Pheobe and Rachels apt. later that evening. Pheobe is by herself, on the phone.

Pheobe: Come on, pick up-yesss! Um, hello, is this Mrs Gellar, Monica's nan? Oh good. This is Pheobe Buffay, you don't know me, but I was wondering, if I came to meet you, would you read my palm?….

End

Thanx!