Female to Female B
Maureen:
Did you check the hall?
Joanne:
I checked!
Maureen:
Underneath the bed?
Joanne:
Right!
Maureen:
At the studio, no RCA's and we're dead.
Joanne:
Hang tight.
Maureen:
The cops are clearing out the lot by morning.
Joanne:
It's true, Maureen.
Maureen:
We'll lose our shot- my piece could be a warning.
Joanne:
What should I do, Maureen?
Maureen:
It's times like these I really appreciate Mark.
Joanne:
I heard you before.
Maureen:
How can someone so bright be so utterly in the dark?
Joanne:
Look, no more! Isn't enough that I scratch your every itch?
Maureen:
Bitch!
Joanne:
Isn't enough that I paid for all this?
Maureen:
Kiss.
Joanne:
Isn't it enough that I put up every day with a temperamental, selfish,
abusive-
Maureen:
Sexy!
Joanne:
All right, sexy!
Maureen:
Talented, brilliant-
Joanne:
Infuriating-
Maureen:
Funny.
Joanne:
Can you feel it too? Immature-
Maureen:
Post-modern goddess!
Joanne:
And oh-so modest!
Maureen:
Kiss me!
Joanne:
I adore your eyes, I adore your eyes!
Maureen:
And my lousy reviews.
Joanne:
And your lousy-
Maureen:
Hey!
Joanne:
It's one little pan
Maureen:
I know.
Joanne:
So the times ain't a fan-
Maureen:
Oh no!
Joanne:
One day they'll all beg to carve a statue of you.
Maureen:
I love you more each day.
Joanne:
I love you, Maureen!
Maureen:
RCA's! On the table.... if you love me, run home and bring back the
cable!
Joanne:
I hate you, Maureen!
Maureen:
Run!
Joanne:
Yes, Maureen.
Maureen:
If you fly I promise I will kiss you in a thousand places!
Joanne:
The mind races, my queen!
Maureen:
The feet race, the feet race, GO!
Joanne:
Go over your speech!
Maureen:
Go home or I'll screech!
Maureen & Joanne:
Female to female, female to female...
Maureen:
My speech: Last night I had this...shit! This what?
This dream.
Last night I had this dream, last night I had this dream, last night I
had this dream, last night I had this...
Female to female...
Another Day
Roger:
Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar.
Little girl- hey- the door is that way-
you better go, you know the fire's out anyway.
Take the powder - take your candle.
Your sweet whisper, I just can't handle.
Well take your hair in the moonlight....
Your brown eyes- goodbye, goodnight.
I should tell you, I should tell you....
I should tell you, I should- no!
Another time- another place.
Our temperature would climb, there'd be a long embrace.
We'd do another dance, it'd be another play.
Looking for romance? Come back another day....
Another day....
Another, another day.
Another, another day.
Mimi:
Your pain I see....
Your hearts been burned.
You're just like me before I learned....
There is no future- there is no past.
I live this moment as my last.
There's only us, there's only this.
Forget regret or life is yours to miss.
No other road, no other way.
No day but today.
Roger:
Excuse me if I'm off track!
But if you're so wise then tell me-
why do you need smack?
Honey get real- here's the deal:
it's time for you to book-
I mean look your cute but I don't buy that schpiel.
Take your needle, take your fancy prayer-
and don't forget, get the moonlight out of your hair.
Long ago you might've lit up my heart-
but the fire's dead- ain't never ever gonna start.
Another time- another place, the words would only rhyme:
we'd be in outer space.
It'd be another song, we'd sing another way...
You wanna prove me wrong?
Come back another day.
Another day....
Mimi:
Your anger's real but just beware-
it's a waste to feel that fate's unfair.
There's no such thing as tragedy.
I can't resent what's meant to be.
There's only yes, only tonight.
We must let go to know what's right.
No other course, no other way.
No day but today....
Mimi & ensemble:
I can't control my destiny.
I trust my soul....
My only goal is just to be....
There's only now, there's only here.
Give in to love, or live in fear.
No other path, no other way.
No day but today....
Roger:
Control your temper!
She doesn't see....
Who says that there's a soul?
Just let me be....
Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar.
Little girl, hey- The door is that way.
The fire's out anyway....
Mimi & ensemble:
No day but today.... No day but today.... No day but today.... No
day but today.... No day but today....
Roger:
Take the powder, take the candle.
Take your whisper, take your moonlit hair.
Take your brown eyes, your pretty smile, your silhouette.
Another time, another place, another rhyme, a warm embrace....
Another dance, another way, another chance....
Another day....
Mimi:
No day but today....
On the Street #2
Homeless people:
Christmas bells are ringing...
Christmas bells are ringing...
Christmas bells are ringing -
Out of town.
Santa Fe.
Squeegieman:
Honest living, man!
...a car squeals by...
Feliz Navidad!
Homeless person:
Evening, officers.
Mark:
Smile for Ted Koppel, Officer Martin!
Homeless person:
And a Merry Christmas to your family!
Police officers:
Right!!
Woman with bags:
Who the fuck do you think you are?
I don't need no goddamn help from some bleeding heart cameraman!
My life's not for you to make a name for yourself on!
Angel:
Easy, sugar, easy. He was just trying to -
Woman with bags:
Just trying to use me to kill his guilt!
It's not that kind of movie, honey- let's go.
This lot is full of motherfucking artists!
Hey artist - got a dollar?
I thought not.
Santa Fe
Angel:
New York City.
Mark:
Uh huh.
Angel:
Center of the universe!
Collins:
Sing it, girl!
Angel:
Times are shitty-
but I'm pretty sure they can't get worse.
Mark:
I hear you.
Angel:
It's a comfort to know
when you're singing the hit-the-road blues,
that anywhere else you could possibly go
after New York would be a pleasure cruise.
Collins:
Now you're talking.
Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle...
And I'm sick of grading papers - that I know.
And I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle...
All this misery pays no salary, so...
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe.
Oh sunny Santa Fe would be nice!
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe...
And leave this to the roaches and mice.
Oh- oh...
All:
Oh.....
Angel:
You teach?
Collins:
I teach - Computer Age Philosophy!
But the students would rather watch TV.
Angel:
America.
All:
America!
Angel:
I preach.
Collins:
Hallelujah!
Angel:
I beat the drum of apocalypse
like orchestras on sinking ships.
Collins:
America!
All:
AMERICA!
Collins:
You're a sensitive aesthete-
brush the sauce onto the meat!
You could make the menu sparkle with rhyme...
You could drum a gentle drum-
I could seat guests as they come:
chatting not about Heidegger, but wine!
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe...
Mark, Angel, & homeless people:
Santa Fe!
Collins:
Our labors would reap financial gains...
Mark, Angel, & homeless people:
Gains, gains, gains...
Collins:
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe!
And save from devastation our brains.
Homeless people:
Save our brains!
All:
We'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away...
Devote ourselves to projects that sell!
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe...
Collins:
Forget this cold Bohemian hell...
Oh-
All:
Oh-
Collins:
Do you know the way to Santa Fe?
You know- tumbleweeds...prairie dogs...
Yeah!
I'll Cover You
Mark:
Oh my god!
Angel & Collins:
What?
Mark:
Maureen! Quick, don't look...is she with anyone?
Angel:
You said not to look!
Mark:
Shit!
Collins:
She's alone.
Mark:
That's it.
...Mark exits...
Angel:
We'll never be that desperate.
Collins:
You'll never have to be!
Angel:
I've been hearing violins all night!
Collins:
Anything to do with me? Are we a thing?
Angel:
Darling... we're everything!
Live in my house,
I'll be your shelter.
Just pay me back
with one thousand kisses!
Be my lover- and I'll cover you....
Collins:
Open your door-
I'll be your tenant.
Don't got much baggage
to lay at your feet.
But sweet kisses I've got to spare....
I'll be there- and I'll cover you....
Both:
And I think they meant it
when they said you can't buy love.
Now I know you can rent it:
A new lease you are, my love-
on life- be my life!
Just slip me on!
I'll be your blanket.
Wherever- whatever- I'll be your coat!
Angel:
You'll be my king,
and I'll be your castle!
Collins:
No you'll be my queen,
and I'll be your moat!
Both:
I think they meant it
when they said you can't buy love.
Now I know you can rent it:
A new lease you are, my love-
on life- all my life....
I've longed to discover
something as true as this is....
Collins:
So with a thousand sweet kisses....
I'll cover you!
With a thousand sweet kisses...
I'll cover you!
Angel:
If you're cold
and you're lonely....
You've got one nickel only!
With a thousand sweet kisses....
I'll cover you!
With a thousand sweet kisses....
I'll cover you!
Collins:
When you're worn out and tired....
When your heart has expired!
Both:
Oh lover I'll cover you....
Oh lover I'll cover you....
WILL I?
Soloist:
Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
from this nightmare?
Group #1:
Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
from this nightmare?
Group #2
Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
from this nightmare?
Group #3
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
from this nightmare?
Group #4
Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
from this nightmare?
Get Over It
Maureen:
It's times like these I really appreciate... Mark!
Dear, I'm so glad you're here!
Honey, baby! You've lost some weight!
I mean, you always looked great...
Mark:
I try, Maureen.
Maureen:
Back when we used to date...
Mark:
You lie, Maureen.
Maureen:
Now let's not get irate.
Mark:
Why, Maureen?
Maureen:
Joanne ran for cable, but of course she's late!
Mark:
I don't know why I even try, Maureen.
Maureen:
My samples won't delay, but my cable-
Mark:
There's another way- say something, anything.
Maureen:
Test one, two- one, two, three!
Mark:
Anything but that!
Tell me what it's like!
Maureen:
What?
Mark:
With a girl!
Tell me what it's like for a girl and a girl!
Maureen:
No way!
Mark:
Tell me, or I walk away!
Maureen:
It's amazing!
Mark:
Who's on top? Who wears the pants? Who leads when you dance?
Give me one more chance, Maureen! This is just a phase, like girls
and horses! And you never even wore flannel shirts! You'll get over it.
Maureen:
How's it going?
Mark:
Not good- I'm depressed.
Maureen:
I meant the sampler!
Mark:
I'm adapting, repatching.
Maureen:
Thank god! You're the best!
Mark:
Ha!
Maureen:
Don't be depressed!
Tell me how you've been!
Mark:
Why?
Maureen:
Cause I care! Tell me how you've been- god, time flies!
Mark:
Don't patronize!
Maureen:
Tell me! We used to be friends!
Mark:
I'm lonely, bored, and horny...
Maureen:
Is there no one new? You need a mate! It's not too late! Have you
even had one date, boy? You just need some time, and you'll be fine,
Mark. Anyway, I treated you like dirt. You'll get over it. Just
remember what you hate about me... though it may be hard!
Mark:
How can you be so content without me? How can you disregard all
we had?
Maureen:
Dysfunction!
Mark:
All we said?
Maureen:
I'm over men!
Mark:
All we did?
Maureen:
I slept around!
Mark:
And will again!
Tell me what you'll do!
Maureen:
When?
Mark:
When you're bored. Tell me what you'll do when you're tired of girls.
Maureen:
I won't!
Mark:
I'll tell you- you'll run back to me!
Maureen:
Your fantasy!
Mark:
You always do!
Maureen:
Don't hold your breath!
Mark:
I know your kind, always change your mind...
Maureen:
Don't be so blind! Can't you see- all my life I've known who I was
meant to be...
Mark:
But you never even liked k.d. lang!
Both:
You'll get over it!
Mark:
This is just a fad, just a phase. You'll get over it.
Maureen:
You just need to get laid! You'll get over it. In time we'll laugh about
this! You'll get over it.
Mark:
In time you'll beg for my kiss!
Maureen:
Don't bet on it!
Mark:
Try it now.
Maureen:
You'll get over it... (You'll get over it, You'll get over it, You'll get...)
...Maureen gives Mark a huge hug...
Grrrrrr!
Mark:
I'd call this cause for hope!
Maureen:
I would call this platonic.
Don't grope!
...Joanne enters...
Honey! You're back!
Um... we're patched.
