Bart's Chalk Board Sentances

This isn't a complete list of everything Bart ever wrote on the chalk board in the show's opening show but it's a hell of alot.

I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not make flatulent noises in class
I will not belch the National Anthem
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
I will not do anything bad ever again
I will not show off (written in an Olde English font)
I will not sleep through my education
I am not a dentist
Spitwads are not free speech
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
High explosives and school don't mix
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
I will finish what I sta
Hamsters cannot fly
Underwear should be worn on the inside
The Christmas pageant does not stink
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not carve gods
I will not spank others
I will not aim for the head
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
I will not conduct my own fire drills
Funny noises are not funny
I will not snap bras
I will not fake seizures
This punishment is not boring and meaningless
My name is not Dr. Death
I will not defame New Orleans
I will not prescribe medication
I will not bury the new kid
I will not teach others to fly
I will not bring sheep to class
A burp is not an answer
Teacher is not a leper
I will not eat things for money
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
The principal's toupee is not a frisbee
I will not squeak chalk
Goldfish don't bounce
No one is interested in my underpants
I will not sell miracle cures
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
I will never win an Emmy
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
I am not deliciously saucy
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
Saying "Just Kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal
The fifth amendment does not cover burping
I will not waste chalk
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not burp in class
I will not instigate revolution
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I did not see Elvis
I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'
Garlic gum is not funny
They are laughing at me, not with me
I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not fake my way through life
Tar is not a plaything
I will not Xerox my butt
I will not trade pants with others
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not drive the principal's car
-I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not sell school property
I will not cut corners
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
There are plenty of businesses like show business
I will not re-transmit without the expressed writen permission of Major League Baseball
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
Beans are neither fruit nor musical
I will not use abbrev.
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
I am not certified to remove asbestos

Back to Simpsons Shrine

LinkExchange
LinkExchange Member Free Home Pages at GeoCities

1