Buffy: "Destructo Girl, that's me."

Blayne: "Girls really gotta' have something to go with me."
Xander: "Something like a lobotomy?"

Xander: "He's buff. She never said anything about him being buff."
Willow: "You think he's buff?"
Xander: "He's a very attractive man! How come that never came up?"

Xander: "Oh, right! Give her your jacket. It's a balmy night, no one needs to be trading clothing out there!"

Buffy: "Okay, I'll give you improved marks for that one. Ripping the throat out, it's a strong visual, it's not predictable."

Buffy: "That's all cryptic-guy said: Fork guy."
Giles: "I think there are too many guys in your life."

Buffy: "Bright, sunny, beautiful. How ever can we escape this torment?"

Xander: "It's funny how the earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to."

Xander: "Those who can, do. Those who can't laugh at those who...can do."

Xander: "This is a question that no one particularly wants to hear, but...where did they put his head?"
Willow: "Good point. I didn't want to hear that."

Buffy: "Yes, I lied, I'm a bad person, let's move on."

Giles: "Yes, she's lovely in a common, extremely well-proportioned way."

Flutie: "Don't say dead! Or decapitated, or decomposing, I'd stay away from D-words altogether."

Flutie: "We all need help with our feelings. Otherwise, we bottle them up, and before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved."

Cordelia: "I mean, one minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge?"

Cordelia: "When tragedy strikes we have to look on the bright side, you know? Like how even used Mercedes still have leather seats."

Buffy: "I'm not saying she craned her neck. We're talking full-on Exorcist twist."

Xander: "Forgiveness is my middle name. Well actually, it's Lavelle, and I'd appreciate itif you guard that secret with your life."

Willow: "He's got a crush on a giant insect!"

Giles: "This computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office, one assumes it is entirely legal?"
Willow: "Entirely!"
Buffy: "Of course!"
Giles: "Right. Wasn't here, didn't see it, couldn't have stopped you."
Buffy: "Good idea."

Xander: "What kind of a girly name is 'Angel' anyway?

Xander: "Needs should definitely be met, as long as it doesn't require ointments the next day."

Xander: "Your hands are s--really...serrated."

Giles: "Frankly, madam, I haven't the faintest idea what time it is, nor do I care. Now unlock his cell, unstrap him, and bring him to the telephone immediately. This is a matter of life and death!"

Willow: "Got it. Coroner's report, complete with--yuck--color pictures.

Giles: "I understand, Carlyle. Yes, I'll take every precaution. Absolutely. It sounds exactly like the creature you describe. You were right all along about everything. Well, no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a Pekinese, but--uh, try to rest, old man. Yes. Ta. Bye now."

Buffy: "We need to find it and snuff it. Any tips on the snuffing part?"
Giles: "Uh, Carlyle recommends cleaving all body parts with a sharp blade."
Buffy: "Slice and dice"

Giles: "Whatever you do, it had better be sudden and swift. This beast is extremely dangerous."
Buffy: "Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it, and he's still around."
Giles: "Yes, in a straightjacket, howling his innards out day and night."
Buffy: "Okay, Admiral, way to inspire the troops."
Giles: "Sorry."

Giles: "Where am I gonna' find that?
Buffy: "In the vid. library. There are no books, but it's dark and musty. You'll feel right at home. Go!"

Giles: "Recording bat sonar is something soothingly akin to having one's teeth drilled."

Willow: "According to Miss French's personnel records, she was born in 1907. She's like, ninety years old."
Giles: "And extremely well-preserved."

Claw: "You!"
Buffy: "Me."

Buffy: "Bat sonar. Makes your whole nervous system go to hell. You can go there with it."

Xander: "Just for the record, you were right. I'm an idiot, and God bless you."

Willow: "I don't think it's bad. I think it's really...sweet. But certainly nothing I'll ever bring up again."