Xander: "We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting!"
Willow: "It was like the Heimlich, with stripes!"

Xander: "I'm feeling that you're not in the field trip spirit here."

Xander: "Buffy, this isn't just about looking at a bunch of animals. This is about not being in class!"
Buffy: "You know, you're right! Suddenly the animals look shiny and new."

Flutie: "I've had it up to here with you four! What're you doing?"
Kyle: "Nothing."
Flutie: "Did I ask you to speak?"
Kyle: "..."
Flutie: "Okay, I guess I did."

Buffy: "What is it with those guys?"
Willow: "They're obnoxious. Professionally."
Xander: "Oh, every school has them. So, you start a new school, you get your desks, your blackboards, and some mean kids."

Xander: "Why don't you pick on somebody your own species?"

Buffy: "Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood pressure..."
Willow: "130 over 80."
Buffy: "You got it bad, girl."

Willow: "He makes my head go tingly."

Xander: "You took a bath."
Buffy: "Yeah, I often do. I'm actually known for it."

Buffy: "Oh, great. It's the winged monkeys."

Giles: "You just... run along to class while I wait for the feeling to return to my arms."

Xander: "Why do I need to learn this?"
Willow: "Cause otherwise you'll flunk math?"
Xander: "Explain the part where that's bad."
Willow: "You remember: you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this."

Coach Harrold: "God, this game is brutal. I love it!"

Willow: "He's not picking on you... he's just sniffing you alot."

Giles: "Xander's taken to teasing the unfortunate?"
Buffy: "Uh-huh."
Giles: "And there's a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?"
Buffy: "Yes."
Giles: "And, well, otherwise all of his spare time is spent lounging around with imbeciles?"
Buffy: "It's bad, isn't it."
Giles: "It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen year-old boy. Of course, you'll have to kill him."
Buffy: "Giles, I'm serious!"
Giles: "So am I...except for the part about killing him. Testosterone is a great equalizer; it turns all men into morons."

Buffy: "I cannot believe that you, of all people, are trying to Scully me. There is something supernatural at work here."

Giles: "Buffy, boys can be cruel. They tease, they, they, they prey on the weak. It's natural teen behavior pattern."
Buffy: "What did you just say?"
Giles: "Um, they tease."

Flutie: "You're gonna have so much detention, your grandchildren will be staying after school."

Willow: "Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy, or some ducks?"

Xander: "I've been waiting for you to jump my bones."

Xander: "Come on, Slayer, I like it when you're scared. The more I scare you, the better you smell."

Willow: "Buffy saved both of our lives."
Xander: "Before she came here our lives didn't need that much saving, did they? Weren't things a lot simpler when it was just you and me?"
Willow: "Maybe."
Xander: "When we were alone together...."

Buffy: "Didn't your mom teach you? Don't play with your food."

Xander: "I ate a pig? Was it cooked and called bacon?"

Buffy: "This is definitely the superior Xander. Accept no substitutes."

Xander: "Cool! Oh, hey, goin' vegetarian, huh?"

Xander: "Shoot me. Stuff me. Mount me."