Buffy: "School! Great."
Joyce: "You wanna go to school?"
Buffy: "Sure! Why not?"
Joyce: "Okay, good day to buy that lottery ticket."

Willow: "My parents don't even bicker. Sometimes they glare."

Cordelia: "Hello, dufus? You're in my light."
Xander: "Wendell, what is wrong with you? Don't you know that she is the center of the universe and the rest of us merely revolve around her?"
Cordelia: "Why don't you revolve yourselves out of my light?"

Xander: "Wendell was in Cordelia's light."
Wendell: "I'm so ashamed."
Willow: "Why is she so Evita-like?"
Buffy: "I think it's the hair."
Willow: "It weighs heavy on the cerebral cortex."

Xander: "Hey, guys, was there any homework?"
Willow: "We're doing active listening today."
Xander: "Cool. What's active listening?"
Willow: "That would be the homework."
Buffy: "Chapter Five: Active Listening. Where you put on your big ears and really focus on the other person."
Wendell: "Ms. Tishler demonstrated it yesterday."
Willow: "With you."
Buffy: "She was wearing that tight sweater?"
Xander: "Oh, the midnight blue angora. See, I was listening."

Joyce: "You just have to remember that your father adores you. No more than I do, by the way."

Xander: "Oh, the spiders. Willow's been kind of, um...what's the word I'm looking for...insane about what happened yesterday."
Willow: "I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you. For crawling across your face in the middle of the night. Ew! How do they not ruffle you?"
Xander: "I'm sorry. I'm unruffled by spiders. Now, if a bunch of Nazis crawled all over my face...."

Xander: "Well, the Hellmouth, the center of mystical convergence, supernatural monsters: been there."
Buffy: "A little blase there, aren't you?"
Xander: "I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there, we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party!"
Buffy: "Thanks for having confidence in me."
Xander: "You da man, Buff."
Willow: "Okay, but we're still caring about the spiders here. Let's not forget the spiders."

Buffy: "Hey, Giles! Wakey, wakey!"

Giles: "I was, uh, in the stacks. I got lost."

Xander: "Did you find any theories on spiders crawling out of books? Big, hairy, crawly.... It's funny if you're me."

Wendell: "I don't know what to say about that."
Xander: "There's nothing to say. You saw two hundred insects. You gonzoed. Anybody would've."
Wendell: "They're not insects. They're arachnids."
Xander: "They're from the Middle East?"

Willow: "What do you mean you 'love spiders'?"
Xander: "It is platonic, right?"

Doctor: "She'll recover. She's got a couple of shattered bones, a little internal bleeding. She got off pretty easy."
Buffy: "Easy?"
Giles: "Have you looked up the word lately?"

Xander: "It's a dream. It's gotta' be a dream. (pinches himself) Ow! Wake up. (pinches himself again) Ow! Gotta' wake up. Aahhhhh!!!"

Buffy: "Did you find anything?"
Giles: "I don't know."
Buffy: "You don't know if you didn't find anything?"

Giles: "I can't read!"
Buffy: "What do you mean? You can read, like, three languages."
Giles: "Five, actually, on a normal day."

Giles: "The boy's been in a coma for a week. How can this be possible?"
Buffy: "What, am I knowledge girl now? Explanations are your terrain."

Buffy: "Could I be seeing Billy's asteroid body?"
Giles: "Astral body, and I don't know."

Willow: "I would hate to have everyone paying attention to me like that."
Xander: "With nudity! It's a total nightmare."

Xander: "Um, our dreams are coming true?"
Giles: "Dreams? That would be a musical comedy version of this. Nightmares. Our nightmares are coming true."
Willow: "So, why is this happening?"
Giles: "Billy."
Xander: "Well, that explanation was shorter than usual. It's Billy! Who's Billy?"

Giles: "Somehow, I think he's crossed over from the nightmare world he's trapped in."
Xander: "And he brought the nightmare world with him. Thanks a bunch, Billy!"
Willow: "How could he do that?"
Giles: "Things like that are easier when you live on a Hellmouth."

Xander: "Probably faster if we split up to look for her."
Giles: "Good idea."
Willow: "Oh, uh, faster, but...not really safer."

Willow: "I'm not afraid. You'd think I'd be afraid, but I'm not."

Xander: "Alright! Someone else's loss is my chocolatey goodness."

Buffy: "I don't see the Ugly Man. I also don't know where the sun and the rest of the world went."

The Master: "Nobody died. What's the fun of burying someone if they're already dead?"

Willow: "I had to sing! Very bad to sing!"

Xander: "You were a lousy clown! Your balloon animals were pathetic. Everyone can make a giraffe!"

Willow: "Excuse me, when did they put a cemetery in across the street?"

Buffy: "Well, we better hurry...cause I'm getting hungry."
Xander: "That is a...joke, right?"

Willow: "Are you sure everything will go back once he's awake?"
Giles: "Oh, uh, positive."
Willow: "Well, how do we wake Billy up? What if we can't?"
Giles: "Willow, do shut up."

Buffy: "Glad you showed up You see, I'm having a really bad day."
Ugly Man: "Lucky nineteen!"
Buffy: "Scary. I'll tell you something, though. There are a lot scarier things than you. (takes two steps forward) And I'm one of them."

Billy: "I had the strangest dream. And you were in it, and you.... Who are you people?"

Buffy: "I just can't believe a kiddie league coach would do something like that."
Xander: "Well, you obviously haven't played kiddie league. I'm surprised it wasn't one of the parents."

Willow: "Personal question?"
Xander: "Yeah, shoot."
Willow: "When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?"
Xander: "Willow, how can you--I mean, that's really bent! She was...grotesque!"
Willow: "Still dug her, huh?"
Xander: "I'm sick. I need help."
Willow: "Don't I know it."