Xander: "Sheila's definitely intense. That guy with her - that's the one she can bring home to mother."

Buffy: "I'm a Slayer. It requires a certain amount of cutting and fighting. What's Sheila's excuse?"
Xander: "Homework. She won't do it. And most teachers respect that now. Oh, you might want to keep away any sharp implements when you're working with her."

Xander: "As long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you'll be fine."
Buffy: "Are you crazy?! Why did you say that? Now something bad's going to happen."
Xander: "What do you mean? Nothing's going to happen."
Willow: "Not until some dummy says, "As long as nothing bad happens."
Buffy: "It's the ultimate jinx."
Willow: "What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?"
Xander: "Well, you guys don't know. Maybe this time it'll be different."

Xander: "Yeah, I'll whittle stakes."
Willow: "And I can research stuff."
Xander: "And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune."

Xander: "Come on, one dance. You've been studying like 12 minutes?"

Xander: "So, this night of St. Vigeous deal, if they're going to attack in force, aren't we thinking vacation?"

Giles: "Well, he can't be any worse than any other creature you've faced."
Angel: "He's worse. Once he starts something, he doesn't stop, until everything in his path is dead."
Xander: "So he's thorough, goal-oriented."

Xander: "Okay, that's it. I'm putting a collar with a little bell on that guy."

Xander: "Does anyone remember when Saturday night meant date night?"
Cordelia: "You sure don't."

Cordelia: "My fingers are cramping. How long have I been doing this?"
Xander: "Three minutes."

Xander: "That's a bad look, right?"

Xander: "I knew you were lying. Undead... liar guy."

Xander: "So when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?"
Angel: "I told you, I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not."
Xander: "And if he bit me, what then?"
Angel: "We would have known he bought it."

Xander: "What's a sire?"