Xander: "Is she dying?"
Buffy: "I think she's singing."
Xander: "To a telephone in Hindi. Now that's entertainment."

Xander: "Hmm, and we thought just because we didn't have any money or any place to go, this'd be a lackluster evening."
Willow: "I know! We could go to the Bronze, and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water."
Xander: "Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail."

Xander: "Boy, what a long day."
Willow: "And you skipped three classes."
Xander: "Yeah, and of course, those flew by."

Xander: "Okay, so tonight, channel 59, Indian TV, sex, lies, and incomprehensible story lines? I'll bring the betel nuts."

Willow: "She's got a date with Angel. Isn't that exciting?"
Xander: "I'm elated."

Xander: "Cordelia's much better for you than Angel."

Buffy: "Angel barely says two words to me."
Xander: "Bummer."
Buffy: "And when he does, he treats me like a child."
Xander: "That bastard."
Buffy: "You know, at least Tom can carry on a conversation."
Xander: "Yeah! Tom? Who's Tom?"
Willow: "The frat guy."
Xander: "Oh, Buffy, I don't think so. Frying pan, fire? You know what I'm saying!" Giles: "Oh? I didn't see any."
Buffy: "Angel showed up. He could smell it."
Xander: "The blood? There's a guy you wanna' party with."

Buffy: "Well, say it."
Xander: "I'm not gonna' say it."
Willow: "You lied to Giles."
Xander: "She will."
Buffy: "Look, I wasn't lying. I was just protecting him from information that he wouldn't be able to digest properly."
Xander: "Like a corn dog."
Willow: "Like you don't have a sick mother, but you'd rather go to a frat party where there's going to be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy."
Xander: "Whoa, whoa. Rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?"

Xander: "So, Cor, are you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation, or are you just going with a halter top tonight?"
Cordelia: "Ohh, are we feeling a little envious? You could belong to a fraternity of rich and powerful men... in the Bizarro World."

Willow: "I can't believe she lied to Giles. My world is all askew."
Xander: "Buffy's lying...Buffy's going to frat parties...that's not askew, that's cockeyed."
Willow: "Askew means cockeyed."
Xander: "Oh."

Xander: "I'm going to the party."
Willow: "What?"
Xander: "I gotta' keep an eye on Buffy. Those frat guys creep me."
Willow: "You wanna' protect her?"
Xander: "Mm-hmm."
Willow: "And prove that you're just as good as those rich snotty guys?"
Xander: "Mm-hmm."
Willow: "Maybe catch an orgy?"
Xander: "If it's on early."

Xander: "One day I'll have money, prestige, power...and on that day they'll still have more."

Xander: "Okay, that is the guy you wanna' party with."

Xander: "Starve a snake, lose a fortune. Boy, I guess the rich really are different, huh?"

Xander: "Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? [sees Angel] Hey, man, how ya' doin'?"

Angel: "Buffy."
Buffy: "Angel."
Xander: "Xander."