Xander: "Hey, it's me. If Angel's doing something wrong, I want to know 'cause it gives me a happy."

Xander: "No, you just need cheering up, and I know just the thing. Crazed dance party at the Bronze."
Buffy: "I don't know."
Xander: "Very calm dance party at the Bronze? Moping at the Bronze."

Ford: "But, if you guys already have plans, would I be imposing?"
Xander: "Nah, only in the literal sense."

Xander: "'This is Ford, my bestest friend of all my friends.' Geeze, doesn't she know any fat guys?"

Willow: "That's Angel."
Xander: "He's Buffy's beau. Her special friend."
Ford: "He's not in school, right? He looks older than her."
Xander: "You're not wrong."

Ford: "Whoa! Cold hands."
Xander: "You're not wrong."

Xander: "Okay, once more with tension."

Xander: "Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with dead boy on this one."
Angel: "Could you not call me that?"

Willow: "Boy, we blend right in."
Xander: "In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs."

Xander: "Sure thing, Bossy the Cow."

Willow: "Ok, but do they really stick out?"
Xander: "What?"
Willow: "Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, 'wow, that baby is sore?'"
Xander: "You have way too many thoughts."

Girl: "We welcome anyone who's interested in the lonely ones."
Willow: "The lonely ones?"
Angel: "Vampires."
Xander: "Oh. We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones."

Angel: "You're a fool."
Xander: "You really are a people person."
Willow: "Now nobody's gonna talk to us."