Xander: "What are you two up to?"
Buffy: "Just having a quick game of "anywhere but here."
Xander: "Oh. Amy Yip at the waterslide park."
Willow: "You never come up with anything new."
Xander: "I'm just not fickle like you two, okay? I'm constant in my affections. Amy Yip at the waterslide park!"
Willow: "Do you think Giles ever played "anywhere but here" when he was in school?"
Xander: "Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there were only 12 grades."
Calendar: "Cordelia's going to meet us."
Xander: "Ooh, gang, did you hear that? A bonus day of class plus Cordelia. Mix in a little rectal surgery and it's my best day ever."
Cordelia: "This isn't right. School on a Saturday. It throws off my internal clock."
Xander: "When are we gonna need computers for real life, anyway?"
Calendar: "Hmmm, let's see: There's home, school, work, games..."
Xander: "You know, computers are on the way out. I think paper's gonna make a big comeback."
Willow: "And the abacus."
Xander: "Yeah, you know, you don't see enough abaci."
Calendar: "All right, guys, the first thing we're going to do is... Buffy."
Xander: "Huh? Did I fall asleep already?"
Xander: "Sit here, Buffs. De-militarize the zone between me and Cordelia."
Xander: "No one can be wound as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting."
Xander: "My Uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you ever met - by day. By night it was booze, whores, and fur flying. Were there whores?"
Buffy: "He was alone. "
Xander: "Give it time."
Cordelia: "I didn't think it was important."
Xander: "We understand. It wasn't about you."
Willow: "I'm not going to get close enough to feel his pulse, but he looks dead."
Xander: "Except for the walking and attacking Buffy part."
Xander: "Dead guy here interrupted our tutorial. Been meaning to thank you for that."
Buffy: "Xander, how do you feel about digging though some of Giles' personal files and seeing what you can find?"
Xander: "I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath? Nah!"
Xander: "Okay, Giles and orgies in the same sentence. I could have done without that one."
Willow: "We need to figure out how to kill this thing, and we need to do it fast."
Xander: "Hot lava."
Willow: "That's for a heretic."
Xander: "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, ooh, ooh, 'bury a potato.' No, that's for warts. Who writes this stuff?!"
Cordelia: "I've got the solution right here. 'To kill a demon, cut off its head.'"
Xander: "Oh, yeah, we'll find Ms. Calendar, then we'll decapitate her. Hey, she'll be the first headless computer teacher in school. You think anybody'll notice?"
Buffy: "Hey, maybe you should consider a career as a Watcher."
Willow: "Oh, no, I don't think I could handle the stress."
Xander: "And the dental plan's crap."