Xander: "Well, the bus depot was a total washout, and may I say what a lovely place to spend the night. What a vibrant cross-section of Americana."
Giles: "No vampires transporting boxes?"
Xander: "No, but a 400-pound wino offered to wash my hair."

Xander: "Let's go."
Cordelia: "And do what? Besides be afraid and die."
Xander: "Well, nobody's asking you to go, Cordelia. If the vampires need grooming tips, we'll give you a call."

Xander: "After classes I'll come back and help you research."
Cordelia: "Yeah, you might find something useful if it's in an "I Can Read" book."

Oz: "Uhhh, arm!"

Xander: "Sorry I snapped at you before."
Cordelia: "Well, I'm reeling from that new experience."

Cordelia: "You were too busy rushing off to die for your beloved Buffy. You'd never die for me."
Xander: "No, I might die from you. Does that get me any points?"

Xander: "Come on, can't we kiss and make up?"
Cordelia: "I don't want to make up. But I'm okay with the other part."

Willow: "What about the Judge? Where do we stand?"
Xander: "On a pile of really boring books..."

Willow: "Where's an army when you need one?"
Xander: "Whoa. Whoa! I think I'm having a thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a thought. Now I'm having a plan. Now I'm having a wiggins."

Giles: "And we're absolutely certain that Angel has reverted to his former self?"
Xander: "Yeah, we're all certain. Anyone not feeling certain here?"

Xander: "Meet me at Willow's house in half an hour, and wear something trashy... -er."

Cordelia: "Who am I supposed to be, again?"
Xander: "You're supposed to be a girl. Think you can handle it?"

Xander: "You know the ladies. They like to see the big guns, gets them all hot and bothered. Can you cut me some slack, give me a blind eye?"
Soldier: "And why should I?"
Xander: "Well, if you do, I won't tell Colonel Newsome that your boots ain't regulation, your post wasn't covered, and you hold your gun like a sissy-girl."

Cordelia: "So, does looking at guns really make girls want to have sex? That's scary."
Xander: "Yeah, I guess."
Cordelia: "Well, does looking at guns make you want to have sex?"
Xander: "I'm 17. Looking at linoleum makes me want to have sex."