Xander: "A visit from the pointed-tooth fairy."

Xander: "You know, I think there may be a valuable lesson for you gals here about inviting strange men into your bedrooms."

Cordelia: "Oh, god. I invited him into my car once. That means he can come into my car whenever he wants."
Xander: "Yep, you're doomed to having to give any of his vamp pals a lift whenever they feel like it. And those guys never chip in for gas."

Xander: "Hello! Excuse me, but have you ever heard of knocking?"
Boy: "We're supposed to get some books. On Stalin."
Xander: "Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?"
Giles: "This is the school library, Xander."
Xander: "Since when?"

Giles: "It's classic battle strategy, to throw one's opponent off his game. He's just trying to provoke you. To taunt you. To goad you into some mishap of some sort."
Xander: "The 'nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!' approach to battle?"

Xander: "Yeah, the more people who know the secret, the more it cheapens it for the rest of us."

Xander: "Hey, how come Buffy doesn't get a snotty "once again you boil it down to the simplest form" thing? Watcher's pet."

Xander: "And what did you two do last night?"
Willow: "We had kind of a "pajama party sleep-over with weapons" thing."
Xander: "Oh, and I don't suppose either of you had the presence of mind to locate a camera to capture the moment?"

Willow: "Look, all his weapons are gone."
Cordelia: "But I thought he kept his weapons at the library."
Xander: "No, those are his everyday weapons. These were his good weapons. The ones he breaks out when company comes to visit."

Cordelia: "So, Giles is going to kill Angel, then?"
Xander: "Well, it's about time somebody did."
Willow: "Xander!"
Xander: "I'm sorry, but let's not forget that I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying "I told you so" long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the fiend that murdered his girlfriend, I say 'Faster, pussycat. Kill, kill.'"
Buffy: "You're right."
Xander: "Thank you."