Xander: "It's officially nippy. So say my nips."

Xander: "The Yankees. Abbott and Costello. The 'A'. Now those were teams."

Xander: "Last month he's the freak with jicama breath who waxes his back. He wins a few meets and suddenly inherits the cool gene?"

Cordelia: "It's about time our school excelled at something."
Willow: "Mmm, you're forgetting our high mortality rate."
Xander: "We're number one!"

Buffy: "Boy, I was just going to go with big and wet."

Buffy: "Nice tat. What, they ran out of Tweety Bird?"

Buffy: "See, it's fun to hang out with me."

Willow: "Gage, your pie chart is looking a lot like solitaire...with naked ladies on the cards?"

Xander: "He actually told you to alter his grade?"
Willow: "Exactly...except for actually telling me to. But he made it perfectly clear of what he wasn't telling me."
Xander: "That's wrong. A big fat spanking wrong. It's a slap in the face to every one of us who studied hard and worked long hours to earn our D's."

Cordelia: "Xander, I know you take pride in being the voice of the common wuss..."

Xander: "What about that nutty 'all men are created equal' thing?"
Cordelia: "Propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less deserving."

Cameron: "I just want you to be comfortable."
Buffy: "I'm comfy. I'm so comfy, I'm nodding off, actually."

Cameron: "Are you wearing a bra?"

Cameron: "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you."
Buffy: "Oh, it's not me I'm worried about."

Buffy: "So I'm treated like the baddie, just because he has a sprained wrist and a bloody nose...and I don't have a scratch on me, which, granted, hurts my case a little, on the surface."

Buffy: "So, anything new with you guys?"
Giles: "Thank you for taking an interest."

Giles: "Nothing left but skin and cartilage."
Xander: "In other words, this was no boating accident."

Buffy: "So, something ripped him open and ate out his insides."
Willow: "Like an Oreo cookie. Well, except for, you know, without the chocolatey cookie goodness."

Willow: "So we're looking for a beastie."
Giles: "That eats humans whole--except for the skin."
Buffy: "This doesn't make any sense."
Xander: "Yeah, the skin's the best part."
Buffy: "Any demons with high cholesterol?"
Giles: "..."
Buffy: "You're gonna think about that later, mister, and you're gonna laugh."

Xander: "Too much research. Need beverage."

Xander: "Well, it was dark, and the thing went through the window so quick, and I was a little shocked when I saw it, and..."
Cordelia: "Go ahead, say it, you ran like a woman."
Xander: "Hey, if you saw this thing, you'd run like a woman too!"

Cordelia: "I think I've lost all will to cheerlead."
Xander: "Raise your hand if you feel her pain."

Buffy: "And raises the possibility that someone brought forth the sea monster from whence it came to exact that revenge. 'From whence it came...'? (to Giles) I'm spending way too much time around you."

Buffy: "You should question him."
Willow: "Really? Me? I'll crack him like an egg."

Willow: "So, you delved into the black arts, and conjured up a hellbeast from the ocean's depths to wreak your vengeance."
Jonathan: "..."
Willow: "Didn't you?"
Jonathan: "What? No. I snuck in yesterday and peed in the pool."
Willow: "Oh. Eeew!"

Buffy: "I'm a swim groupie. Oh, yeah, you know, there's just something about the smell of chlorine on a guy. Oh, baby."

Buffy: "Obviously, my sex appeal is on the fritz today..."

Gage: "What a psycho bitch, man."
Angel: "Gotta be talking about Buffy.

Angel: "You're in luck, my friend. Just so happens, I'm recruiting."

Angel: "Why, Miss Summers, you're beautiful."

Gage: "Was that the thing that killed Cameron?"
Buffy: "No, that was something else."
Gage: "Something else?"
Buffy: "Yeah, unfortunately we have a lot of something elses in this town."

Cordelia: "I thought Angel liked blood."
Buffy: "He used to."
Willow: "Maybe his eyes were too big for his stomach."

Cordelia: "Oh. Oh. Oh, my. Now, that, girls, is my kind of..."
Willow: "Xander?"

Xander: "I'm undercover!"
Buffy: "You're not under much."

Xander: "I figure I can keep an eye on Gage and the others when Buffy can't."
Willow: "When you're nude? I meant to say changing."

Xander: "Okey-dokey, Coachie."

Cordelia: "I'm dating a swimmer from the Sunnydale swim team."
Buffy: "You can die happy."

Xander: "What's the deal? You perspire a lot. You can't breathe. Or read. I mean, I guess you could, but the pages would probably get all wet."

Xander: "He's putting his sneakers on. But it's not the velcro kind, so give him a couple extra minutes."

Xander: "Tag, you're it."

Giles: "Well, the good news is that it would appear that none of your team actually died."
Buffy: "But, the bad news is... they're monsters."

Xander: "But is steroid use usually linked with, 'Hey, I'm a fish'?"

Buffy: "They needed to win, and winning equals trophies, which equals prestige for the school. You see how they're treated. It's been like that forever."
Xander: "Sure. The discus throwers got the best seats at all the crucifixions."
Buffy: "Meanwhile, I'm breaking my nails every day battling the forces of evil, and my French teacher can't even remember my name."

Xander: "We have to find an antidote, don't you think? The clock is ticking, people!"
Buffy: "I wouldn't break out the tartar sauce just yet. It's not like you were exposed more than once. Twice?"
Xander: "Three times a fish guy."

Cordelia: "It's one thing to be dating the lame unpopular guy, but it's another to be dating the Creature from the Blue Lagoon."
Xander: "Black Lagoon. The Creature from the Blue Lagoon was Brooke Shields."

Buffy: "I think we'd better find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut."

Willow: "I'll talk to Nurse Greenliegh."
Buffy: "You're really getting into this interrogation thing."
Willow: "The trick is not to leave any marks."

Coach: "You got some imagination, Missy."
Buffy: "Oh, well, right now I'm imagining you in jail. You're wearing a big orange suit, and, oh look, the guards are beating you up."

Coach: "Boy, when they were handing out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you?"
Buffy: "No. I was in the line for shred of sanity. Which you obviously skipped."

Xander: "Wait here. But feel free to come in if you hear me scream."

Cordelia: "You were so courageous. And you looked really hot in those speedos!"

Cordelia: "And we can still date. Or not... I mean, I understand if you want to see other fish. I'll do everything I can to make your quality of life better whether that means little bath toys or whatever."

Coach: "How you feeling?"
Xander: "A little dry. Nothing a lemon butter sauce won't cure."

Buffy: "Thanks."
Xander: "Just doing my part for the team."

Buffy: "Those boys really love their coach."

Xander: "Turning into a creepy-crawly wasn't on my top ten list of things to do before I turned twenty."