Angel: "Where are you from?"
Darla: "Around. Everywhere."

Xander: "I had that guy under control until he resorted to fisticuffs."

Xander: "Oh yeah, finals! Why didn't you let me die?"

Giles: "You have, uh, carbon-dated it?"
Doug: "Resuls will be back in a couple of days. I'll go out on a limb and say old."

Xander: "Tell Angel I'm gonna' kill him. No, wait. I'm gonna' kill you! Die! Die! Die! Aahhh--bwoosh! Mother?"
Cordelia: "Is that it?"
Xander: "That's it. Scene."

Oz: "I was a little unclear about some of the themes."
Buffy: "The theme is Angel's too much of a coward to take me on face-to-face."
Xander: "And the other thing was 'buy American', but it, uh, got kind of buried."

Willow: "Do you think you're ready to fight Angel?"
Buffy: "I wish people would stop asking me that. Yes, I'm ready. I'm also willing and able."

Willow: "I will get you through this semester if I have to sweat blood."
Xander: "Do you think you're likely to? 'Cause I'd like to be elsewhere."
Willow: "It was only metaphor blood."
Oz: "I think you'd sweat cute blood."

Cordelia: "I think it's great to do that before you go out and fail in the real world. That way, you're not falling back on something. You're falling...well, forward."
Xander: "And almost sixty-five percent of that was actual compliment. Is that a personal best?"

Cordelia: "Gee, Xander, and what are you gonna' to teach when you fail in life? Advanced loser being?"
Xander: "I will teach...zee language of love."

Principal Snyder: "Are we having a chair shortage?"
Willow: "I didn't read anything about...oh, I get it."

Principal Snyder: "This isn't an orgy, people. It's a classroom."
Buffy: "Yeah, where they teach lunch."
Principal Snyder: "Just give me a reason to kick you out, Summers. Just give me a reason."
Cordelia: "How 'bout because you're a tiny, impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu."

Willow: "Do you really expect Angel to turn up tonight?"
Buffy: "No, I don't expect him to. But that's usually when he does."

Drusilla: "I met an old man. Didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth."

Angel: "You can see all that in your head?"
Spike: "No, you ninny. She read it in the morning paper."

Buffy: "This doesn't make any sense."
Willow: "Oh, sure it does. See...oh no, this doesn't make any sense."
Buffy: "It's senseless!"
Willow: "It is, but at least you know that, so you're learning."
Buffy: "Yay me!"

Buffy: "I mean, when in the real world am I ever gonna' need chemistry or history or math or the English language?"

Willow: "You can learn this real easily, but if you're just gonna' give up, then don't waste my time."

Buffy: "This feels kind of morbid."
Willow: "I've gone through most of her files already."
Buffy: "Does that make it less morbid or you really morbid?"

Xander: "So he killed her...before she could tell anyone about it. What a prince, huh?"

Buffy: "I don't want you putting yourself in any danger, Will."
Willow: "And I don't want danger. Big no to danger."

Xander: "Hi! For those of you who've just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person."

Xander: "So this spell might restore Angel's humanity? Well, here's an interesting angle: who cares?"

Giles: "Let's not lose our perspective here, Xander."
Xander: "I'm Perspective Guy. Angel's a killer."

Cordelia: "Xander has a point."
Xander: "You know, just for once I wish you would support me and I realize right now that you were and I'm embarrassed, so I'm gonna' get back to the point."

Buffy: "What happened to Angel wasn't his fault."
Xander: "Yeah, but what happened to Ms. Calendar is. You can paint this any way you want, but the way I see it is that you wanna' forget all about Ms. Calendar's murder so you can get your boyfriend back."

Angel: "I'll have one of these to go."

Angel: "Dru, save me some."

Buffy: "Yeah, Xander was pretty much being a...Willow! Where did you learn that word? My God, you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Buffy: "You know, polite people call before they jump out of the bushes and attack you."
Kendra: "Just wanted to test your reflexes."
Buffy: "How about testing my face-punching 'cause I think you'll find it's improved."

Spike: "It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big."

Angel: "Acathla turned to stone, as demons sometimes do, and was buried where neither man nor demon would want to look...unless, of course, they're putting up low-rent housing."

Spike: "Let me guess. Someone pulls out the sword..."
Angel: "Someone worthy."
Spike: "...the demon wakes up, and wackiness ensues."

Angel: "My friends, we're about to make history...end."

Buffy: "And you're sure this was the tomb of Alfalfa?"

Willow: "Okay, somebody explain the whole 'He will suck the whole world into Hell' thing 'cause that's the part I'm not loving."

Buffy: "So that would be the literal kind of 'sucked into Hell'. Neat."

Willow: "I don't wanna' be our only hope. I crumble under pressure. Let's have another hope."

Kendra: "If all else fails, this might stop it...I think."

Willow: "I need about a day, and...an Orb of Thesulah, whatever that is."
Giles: "A spirit vault for rituals of the undead. I've got one. I've been using it as a paperweight."

Willow: "This means I can't help you study for tomorrow's final."
Buffy: "Ah, I'll wing it. Of course, if we go to Hell by then, I won't have to take 'em. Or maybe I'll be taking 'em forever."

Angel: "I don't understand you."
Whistler: "Nobody understands me. That's my curse."

Whistler: "Not all demons are dedicated to the destruction of all life."

Buffy: "So, I'm like, 'Dad, you want me to go to the dance in an outfit I've already worn? Why do you hate me?'"

Buffy: "Tyler would have to crawl on his hands and knees to get me to go to the dance with him, which actually he's supposed to do after practice, so I'm gonna' wait."
Buffette: "Okay! See you later!"
Buffy: "Call me! Call me! Call me!"

Watcher: "Buffy Summers?"
Buffy: "Yeah? Hi! What?"

Buffy: "You're not from Bullock's, are you? 'Cause I meant to pay for that lipstick."

Watcher: "Your destiny awaits."
Buffy: "I don't have a destiny. I'm destiny free, really."

Watcher: "You are the Chosen One. You alone can stop them."
Buffy: "Who?"
Watcher: "The vampires."
Buffy: "Huh?"

Buffy: "Oh! Not the heart!"

Whistler: "Right now, you couldn't go three rounds with a fruit fly!"

Angel: "I wanna' learn from you."
Whistler: "All right."
Angel: "But I don't wanna' dress like you."

Spike: "Someone wasn't worthy."

Kendra: "I call it Mr. Pointy."
Buffy: "You named your stake?"
Kendra: "Yes."
Buffy: "Remind me to get you a stuffed animal."

Angel: "I wasn't sure you'd come."
Buffy: "After your immolation-o-gram? Come on, I had to show. Shouldn't you be out destroying the world right now, pulling the sword out of Al Franken or whatever his name is?"

Angel: "You are the one thing in this dimension I will miss."
Buffy: "This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight?"

Angel: "Gosh, I was hoping we could get back together. What do you think, do we have a shot?"
Buffy: "..."
Angel: "Alright, we'll fight."

Angel: "Maybe I'll just go home, destroy the world."
Buffy: "Yeah, I think Mr. Pointy will have something to say about that."

Angel: "You never learn, do you? This wasn't about you. This was never about you. And you fall for it every single time!"