Phoenixine articles by `Georgette Gerbil'

Number 106; June 1998

Sex, chocolate, and cons

Most of it started sometime after the editorial party left, at the party on Saturday night. Seeing as ________ was hosting the party, everything was a little `odd’ to begin with. (Of course it didn’t help having all of that free ginger wine and whiskey wandering about.......)

________ and __________ were, (jokingly), hitting on two women. But ________ started acting like a gigolo from a bad movie, (“I think you’re the sexiest women alive”, “I want to undress you and have sex right here”, “I want to kiss every part of your body” - you get the picture). The women, (for the life of me I cannot remember her name [Lucky for all involved, I shouldn’t wonder. Ed.]), started acting the same way in return.

This lasted for at least half an hour, until they’d reached the point that looked like the only things left for them to do actually involved stripping and a large tub of whipped cream & melted chocolate! [Hey! PIG alert!Ed.]

Actually it was quite funny to watch, (which is why they were doing it - I assume), if you were there and drunk at the time. That’s what ______ was complaining about on the Sunday evening, just before he was covered in lipstick.

(printable stuff){Oops - sorry. You mean I should have left the first bit out? Damn. Ed.]

Of rum and cons

Oddly enough there isn’t much I actually remember about the con, even though I really enjoyed myself. (And I DON’T want people telling me this is my fault, because all of the alcohol I managed to drink).

Luckily there was only one bad point in the whole con for me - the hideous wait at the Japanese restaurant on the Saturday. As well as trying to explain to the waiter wanted rum & coke, not just coke. I ended up spending a good five minutes pointing to rum on the menu, before he got the idea. At least the food was nice once we did get it.

Because there wasn’t a video room, and I didn’t have my own room at the hotel, I inflicted myself on most of the gamers when there wasn’t anything else on. Getting them to teach me a couple of games along the way. But this was definitely one of the best parts of the con, especially for me as I’m not a comic fan & I still haven’t gotten around to seeing Neverwhere.

For the first time, I went to the banquet run by the con and I had been a little nervous about it. Mainly because the only times people had ever talked about banquets were to complain about one. So I really wasn’t expecting it to be as good as it was! And it was the first time I’d spent so long at the room, (and hall), parties - which were certainly interesting. I got to try ginger wine for the very first time, and we all had fun sitting out in the hall on the Saturday......

I’ll certainly be one of the many people looking forward to the next con, even though it won’t be run by the wonderful con committee from this one.

Number 107; July 1998

Venus in Furs

I did ask a couple of people if they thought the title for this article would offend anyone, only to find out no one knew what I was talking about! (sigh) Surely my mind is not so dirty I’m the only one in Phoenix who knows what Venus in Furs is? (And it’s not a dirty movie or magazine, thank you very much).

Because of this I had thought of daring people to ask for a copy of Venus in Furs at a library before the next general meeting, then tell us all about the reaction they get from the librarians. But decided that was far too mean....

”Where did those handcuffs and blindfold come from?”

Most of the SIGs were interesting, but same-old same-old type of things. Except for a few parts of the PIG. Among other more interesting things that appeared or were discussed including condoms, the smell of latex, blindfolds, handcuffs, whips and kisses. (Of the chocolate and non-chocolate types).

It was certainly more amusing than trying to explain to my mother why I knew so much about Chinese foot binding or why it’s considered a partialism. Let alone trying to explain why I knew what partialisms are in the first place!

Number 108; August 1998

"Sex, Drugs and Steel Gauntlets"

I've had one of those really odd months much to my mis - and good - fortune. Just to irritate myself, I'd spent a good part it with one foot firmly stuck in my mouth, while I hoped around on the other. You know how it goes - no matter what you do you end up embarrassing yourself somehow.

But what has been happening to me, over the past month is nothing compared to stories I've heard! (Be warned - people who know who I am have been telling me about goings on at gatherings I haven't been to.....) But I was disappointed a certain someone didn't show off his new work clothes. Apparently he wears fetish and s&m gear where he works! I have no idea what he does, but a few obvious things go through my mind.

I'm not going to tell everyone about the PIG sig, with the purple public hair wigs. Talking about where certain people hide certain parts of their person! But why anyone would want to wear wigs down there is beyond me, let alone strangely colored ones.

I've started playing a new RPG called `Usurper: Sex, Drugs and Steel Gauntlets', which definitely isn't your usual type of game. A large part involves gaining `darkness points' or `lightness points'. Your character gets dps' by murdering innocents people, visiting whorehouses or male prostitutes, gambling, stealing, etc. And lps' by helping people, working for a church, etc. There are also shops that sell drugs, steroids and strange drinks, which can improve skills, give you a drug / alcohol addiction and some don't affect certain races at all.

It's certainly a lot more interesting than some RPG games I've played. And it isn't all about dps and lps, you also go out adventuring to earn money and experience points like most games. But still.......

1