I’ll Survive Laura walked in the door of her home carrying a bag full of groceries. No sooner had she set the bag down on the counter than she saw her husband coming down the stairs. "Luke, what are you doing with that old suitcase?" asked Laura, a sense of foreboding filling her. "I’m leavin’, Laura." He shifted uncomfortably and set down an envelope next to her groceries. "For how long? You’ll be back in time for Christmas, won’t you?" "Try real hard to follow this, darlin’." Luke slowed his speech so it sounded as if he were speaking to Leslie Lu, their four year old daughter. "I’m leavin’ for good. I want a divorce and I’ve already started the process." She opened her mouth to protest but he put up his hand and silenced her. "I thought it would be easier for you to get remarried if I left you, but if you want to make it look like you divorced me, that fine too. I don’t care. Either way we need to separate. We’re just no good for each other anymore, baby." She dropped into the nearest chair, and sat, stunned. After an uncomfortable silence she looked up at him. "Luke, I know what you think about Stefan and I but…" He walked across the room and kneeled down so their eyes were parallel; she lowered her gaze. "Then look at me." He took her chin in his hand, forcing her to give him eye contact. "Look at me and tell me you don’t love him." "Luke, please…" "You see?" He cut her off and let his hand slip away from her. Laura sighed in exasperation, then clenched her jaw. She was getting angry. How dare he leave her like this? She stood. "Maybe I do love him, Luke. Could you blame me?" Her voice took on an edge that he hadn’t heard her use before. "After all you have been gone for four months. You did abandon me after you found out that Nikolas is Stefan’s…" "Stop! Don’t even say it. What do you think it was like for me? Sitting up night after night, imagining you in his arms." Luke spat out the word ‘his’ as if it were poison. "What do you think it was like for me, Luke?" She threw his own question back at him. "I visited Nikolas at Wyndemere. I saw Stefan. He tried again and again to get me to be unfaithful to you." Her voice was rising by the second. "I wouldn’t do it. ‘Luke loves me; He’s coming back’ I would say. ‘If Luke loves you so much then why isn’t he here fighting for you?’ Stefan would ask me." Here Luke began to speak but Laura gave him a look that told him ‘shut up’ better than any words. "I never did come up with an answer for him. If you cared about me or our marriage at any point in time why did you leave right when you should have stayed and fought. I don’t think this is a question of ‘Who do I love? Luke or Stefan?’ I think this a question of ‘Who loves me? Luke or Stefan?" She finished her speech almost screaming. Tears of rage were streaming down her face, and when she wiped them away, she saw that her mascara was running. "You know I love you." Luke set his suitcase down. "Do I? Then tell me something." Laura demanded. "When you abandoned me, when you refused to let me see my son," she paused, considering weather or not to lower the final blow and decided in favor of it… "When you raped me. Was that your sick and twisted way of letting me know how much you love me." She was almost sorry for bringing up her rape when she saw the hurt look in his eyes, but when hurt was almost immediately replaced by indifference she became even angrier. "Luke, you can’t leave! I’m pregnant!" Almost before the words were out she regretted saying them. Her hand went instinctively to her mouth. For an instant he let the shock he felt show in his face, but he soon covered it up. "That’s impossible. Unless he’s another Cassadine." Luke sneered. "It’s not impossible. You know he’s not a Cassadine. Just look at me! I’m five months along and you didn’t even notice." Stefan noticed, Laura thought to herself. He stepped back so he could take a good look at her. She was wearing a green, loose fitting dress, and from the light in their kitchen she certainly didn’t look pregnant. "I don’t believe you, Laura, and you wanna know why? Because I think right about now you’re scared to death of loosin me. Wyndemere’s lookin kinda cold and empty, isn’t it, ‘Lasha’?" He said, using Stefan’s name for her. "Wyndemere would be a welcome change!" Laura crossed the room. "Lucky has hated me since he found out that I was capable of forgiving rape, Leslie Lu is too young to help me much although it is a comfort to know that one of our children doesn’t hate me, and you’ve been gone. At Wyndemere, I have a lonely eighteen year old son who would welcome me with open arms, and a man who has loved me unconditionally, knowing all of my secrets for sixteen long years. Sixteen years in which I abandoned both of them." Laura stopped and took a deep breath. For some reason it was vitally important that he believe she was pregnant. "I’m not making this up. I love you, Luke, and I want you to stay, but I’m not desperate enough to make up something that could be proven false so easily. Go to GH if you don’t believe me. Go to GH and talk to Dr. Eve Lambert… she handled my test." He suddenly saw that might have just blown his last opportunity to make things right with his wife. "I’m sorry, Laura. I didn’t think…" "You never think. Well I do. And I thought it would be best if you knew before you left so that you couldn’t accuse me of ‘not informing you.’ I want this baby, but I don’t want it to have a father that doesn’t love me.” "Dang it, Laura! What do you want me to do? Should I get down on my knees? Say the pledge of allegiance? What did Cassadine do?" She looked away. "Oh yeah. Well I’m sorry, darlin, but I think the baby will be born before I can spend the next sixteen years waiting for you." "I’m not even asking you to stay with me, Luke. I know it’s over." Laura shrugged in defeat. "Just stick around so that your child has a chance to know its father." "Ain’t gonna do it, Laura. Now don’t pout." He said as her eyes grew cold. "There’s till time to pass the poor kid off as a Cassadine. Just tell Stefan that the baby was premature… or would that even be necessary?" "I don’t like the insinuations you’re making. You know I didn’t sleep with him." "You did nineteen years ago." Luke pointed out, heading towards the door. "I thought…" "You thought I was dead." Luke finished for her. "Spare me, baby. I’ve heard this so many times I think I’ve got it memorized. Let’s see: ‘He saved your life, you were lonely…’ I understand." He opened the door. "Fine. Go Luke Spencer. Just remember this. Next time you come back, the door will be locked. You aren’t welcome in this house any more. Now get out of my sight." Laura pointed at the door and only after it had slammed did she dissolve in tears. Laura wiped her eyes a few minutes later. She walked over to her groceries and took out the milk, to put it in the fridge. Her elbow pushed an envelope off the counter. She stooped a picked it up, remembering that Luke had set something there. Inside were a check and a note. Laura, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to leave. By the time you get this I’ll probably be on a plane or a bus out of Port Charles. I won’t waste space telling you why I left… you already know. I just wanted to tell you one last time how much I love you. I’ll never stop loving you, but right now I don’t think I’ll be coming back. I left a check for $100,000. If you need more just let Jason know. (He’ll be running the club). I’ll keep in touch with Lulu. Please try to tell her that I love her every night. I’ll miss you. You’ll always be my angel, Luke The next day Laura went to pick up Leslie Lu from Felicia’s where she had spent the night. After knocking on the door, Laura smoothed her dress out. She hadn’t slept last night, and hadn’t thought to iron her clothes. "I must look a sight." Laura sighed. "You always look great, hon." Felicia had opened the door. "Oh!" Laura almost jumped. "Hello, Felicia. I hope Leslie Lu didn’t keep Maxie and Georgie up." She managed a smile. "Nope. Actually Maxie and Georgie kept her up. They were playing dress-up." Both women laughed. "Look, Laura," Felicia hesitated. "What?" "You don’t have to act like everything’s all right." Felicia smiled sympathetically. "How did you…" "Luke stopped here at around eight. Why don’t you come inside?" Felicia led Laura to the sofa. "I hope Luke didn’t seem it necessary to tell everyone in town." Laura was annoyed. "No. He wouldn’t do that. Actually he didn’t even tell me. He just came to say good-bye to Leslie Lu." Laura sat down next to Felicia. "Well, if he didn’t tell you then how did you know?" "I was dusting, and stopped in front of Maxie’s room, where they were. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, Laura… honestly. I went back down as soon as I realized what he was saying." "I know you, Felicia. You’re not a nosy person." Laura ran her fingers through her mussed hair. "How is Lulu?" "Confused mostly. I think Georgie and Maxie got her mind off of things. They’re good at that." "Well, they’re your daughters, aren’t they?" "Oh, pooh! I always seem to say too much." "No you don’t, Felicia." Laura took her hand. "You’re a wonderful friend. I’ll give a call sometime and tell you all about everything that’s been going on. You’re really the only friend I have left." "Don’t be ridiculous, Laura." "Name one friend that I have besides you." Laura smiled. It didn’t really bother her that she had no friends besides Felicia. She wasn’t a particularly social person. "Bobbie has always liked you." "Bobbie hasn’t spoken to me since I came back from North Carolina eight months ago except to ridicule my treatment of her brother." "Well, she and Luke were always pretty close." Felicia said quickly. "What about Monica Quartermaine?" "I suppose you could call us friends." Laura relented. "It’s not really her fault that she hasn’t had any time to call me." The women exchanged meaningful glances. "The poor lady! You know what I heard?" Felicia leaned in. "What?" Laura felt like a young girl again. It had been so long since she had gossiped about her neighbors. "I heard that Alan is living on Cortland Street." Laura gasped. "The richest man in Port Charles living on the most dangerous road in town?" Laura made a clucking noise with her tongue. "Former richest man in Port Charles, if you please." Laura looked confused. "Haven’t you heard? The Quartermaines disinherited him. And that’s not all." Felicia whispered. "Rumor has it that he’s being unfaithful to Monica." "That’s terrible!" Felicia stood. "Do you want some tea?" Laura nodded "Yes please." Laura laughed. "Wait a second. How would you know that he’s being unfaithful to Monica?" "My dear, there are certain advantages to being the police commissioners wife." Felicia stood and giggled. She walked to the ajoining kitchen and put two cups full of water in the microwave. "How is Mac?" "Oh, fine and dandy. He had to leave at seven for work. Do you want herbal or just plain?" "Plain is fine." "Hey! We’ve been calling Alan the former richest man town." “So?" "Well, he never was the richest man in town." "No?" "No, Stefan Cassadine is. Now that’s a whole lotta money!" Laura suddenly realized that she hadn’t thought about her own problems for the last few minutes. The mention of Stefan made them all come back to her. "Stefan?" Laura said for lack of anything better. "Yes. Of course he’ll loose it all when Nikolas becomes Duke, or King, or… what do those royal people call it?" "The Cassadine." Laura said, absently answering Felicia’s question. "Oh, that’s right. I forgot that I’m talking to a former Cassadine." Felicia came out with the cups. "I almost forgot that Nikolas was your son for a second. Here’s your tea." Laura took her tea from Felicia. A tear slid down her cheek, and she turned to wipe it away. "Are you all right?" Felicia’s voice was full of sympathy. "Yeah, I’ll be fine." "I’m sorry Laura, the thing you probably need most right now is to talk to somebody about Luke, and I was just afraid I would say the wrong thing. I just tried to avoid the subject." Laura started crying. "Oh, hon." Was all Felicia could think to say, so she put her arms around Laura. "Shhh. It’s gonna be Ok." "Felicia, I’m the one… who’s sorry. I must be making… you so uncomfortable." Laura managed to say between sobs. "Laura, look at me." Felicia pulled back so that Laura could see her face. "Tell me what’s wrong. I mean, sure you miss Luke, but there’s something else isn’t there?" Laura was shocked at how well Felicia could read her. "That’s just the thing. I don’t miss Luke." "What? Then why the tears?" "Because I feel so guilty for not missing him." "Don’t be ridiculous! You haven’t had a very good relationship with him for two years. It’s only natural that it would be a relief when he leaves. Anyway, any man who leave his wife when she’s…" "Luke didn’t know until he practically out the door." Laura excused. "How could he not notice?" Felicia sounded skeptical. "He probably thought I was just gaining weight." Laura wiped her eyes. "Here." Felicia handed her a box of Kleenex that had been sitting on the coffee table. "We always keep tissue in the television room. I’m such a sucker for sad movies." Laura had to laugh. That was Felicia. "Now, what did I say that reminded you of Luke?" Felicia scolded herself. Laura looked away. It would be disastrous if Felicia found out why Luke had left. If Felicia figured out how she felt about Stefan, she was just one step away from figuring out who Nikolas’ father was. Not that Laura thought Felicia would tell anyone, but up until a few months ago, only she and Stefan had known. They had both vowed not to ever tell anyone else. Then, Luke had figured it out. There was too much of a chance it would get back to Nikolas or worse yet, Helena if anyone else found out. "Laura?" Felicia asked suspiciously. "I believe I was talking about the Cassadines. Stefan to be precise." "Were you?" Laura suddenly seemed mesmerized by her tea. "Yes, I was." Felicia was smiling by now. Just then Leslie Lu walked downstairs, and Laura sighed with relief. "Mommy!" Leslie Lu jumped onto Laura’s lap. "How are you, precious?" Laura smoothed her hair. "Where are Maxie and Georgie?" Felicia let the subject drop… for the moment… after giving Laura a significant look. "They’re still sleeping. And it’s nine-thirty!" "Yes it is. And you should still be asleep too." Laura gently admonished. "How does she do it?" Felicia said in awe. "She stays up until one and get up at nine-thirty as chipper as ever!" "I’ll get my stuff!" Leslie Lu ran back up the stairs. "Do you want breakfast, Lulu?" Felicia called after her. "No." Came the reply. "No, what?" Laura reminded her. "No thank-you, Felicia." After Leslie Lu was safely out of earshot. "We can keep her another day, you know." Felicia smiled knowingly. "What was that look about?" "I think that you have people you need to see." "People?" Laura feigned confusion although she saw where this conversation was going. "Yes, people." She giggled. "Rich people." "Well, a chat with Monica would be lovely, but…" "Oh, Laura, you know what I’m talking about. Go see Stefan." "Now, why on earth would I do that?" "All right, fine, don’t admit it. Just let us keep her. You can… take a nice, hot bath." Leslie Lu came back downstairs with her little bag. "Did you get your toothbrush, comb, and pajamas?" Laura asked. "Yep! Let’s go home. I wanna see Daddy!" Laura looked down at the floor. Hadn’t Luke explained things well enough? "Princess, come sit here." Laura tapped the empty place between Felicia and her. "I have laundry to do." Felicia tactfully excused herself, as Leslie Lu came and sat next to Laura. "Daddy isn’t going to be coming for awhile, Lulu." Felicia gave Laura one last encouraging look before leaving the room. "Oh." Leslie Lu looked completely unphased. "But he’ll be home in time in supper, right?" A sad smile played around the edges of Laura’s mouth. "No, Daddy won’t be home in time for supper, Sweetie." She leaned down and kissed her daughter on the forehead. "Then when?" "Well, what did Daddy tell you when you talked to him last night?" Laura asked, unwilling to be the bearer of bad news. "That he loved me." "And that’s true. But, did he say when he’d be coming home?" "No." Thanks a lot, Luke, Laura thought to herself. Leave me with the uninformed daughter. "Lulu, do you remember when we went to North Carolina?" Laura decided to try another tactic. "Yeah." Lulu was playing with a piece of lace on her shirt. "We didn’t see Daddy for a long time, but you had fun anyway." "Yeah." Lulu repeated. "Well, this time Daddy had to go somewhere." "Was it North Carolina?" Leslie Lu asked, suddenly interested. "No, but it’s a long ways away. Daddy will still keep in touch you, though. He’ll write you letters, and call, and maybe someday you can go visit him." "Ok." That was all Lulu said. "You ready to go home?" Laura picked up Leslie Lu’s bag. "Do I have to, Mommy?" Just then Felicia walked back in. "I hope I’m not intruding." "No, actually, your timing is perfect." Laura smiled. "It seems that Leslie Lu wants to stay." "Can I, Felicia?" Leslie Lu put on her most adorable smile. "I want to play with Maxie and Georgie." "Of course you can. If your mommy says it’s ok." Felicia looked at Laura for conformation. "Are you sure?" Laura didn’t want to leave her if she was going to start crying as soon as she left. "I’m sure." Leslie Lu replied. "It’s fine with me then." "You go into the kitchen and I’ll be in to make you some pancakes." Leslie Lu jumped up and down. "Pancakes?!" "Yep." Leslie Lu ran to the kitchen. "Tell Stefan hi for me." Felicia said after Leslie was gone. "I’m not going to Wyndemere. Luke hasn’t even been gone twenty-four hours." "Whatever you say." Felicia followed Leslie Lu to the kitchen. "I’m not! I’m going to take a bath!" "Sure you are, Laura." Felicia called back before disappearing into the kitchen. ~*~ Laura got home around ten-thirty. She had gone for a walk, and was feeling much better after her talk with Felicia. Laura went straight to her bedroom and got a silk robe from the closet. That robe always had made her feel better. She had worn it the day Lucky had moved away from home, the last time Luke had left her, and the day she had had to testify at Stefan’s trial. She found some bubble bath in the closet and turned the water on in the bathroom, as she put her hair up in a bun. Laura was minorly annoyed when, after only a few moments in the hot, soothing water, the doorbell rang. Laura sighed, climbed out of the tub, and threw on her robe. She was still fumbling, trying to tie, when she opened the door. "Nikolas! It’s so good to see you!" She reached up and gave her son a big hug. "Hello, Laura. I just stopped by because I was in the neighborhood. Is Lulu here?" "No, Nikolas. She’s down the street at the Scorpio’s. You could visit her there if you wanted." Nikolas noticed her robe. "I’m sorry, were you busy?" "No." She paused, debated whether or not to tell him about Luke. "Nikolas, I think you have a right to know. Luke left yesterday. He wants a divorce." "Oh." Nikolas tried his best to look sad, but Laura knew that he was in reality he was thrilled. She couldn’t blame him. Hadn’t been the combination of Luke and Helena that had kept her from him all of these years. "You don’t have to act upset, Nikolas. It’s all right. I’m not even really upset. I knew it was coming." Nikolas looked relieved. "I do think it’s too bad Laura, I really do. After all you sacrificed for him…" "Well, I suppose it just wasn’t meant to be." Laura could hardly believe she was saying those words. She had always said that they were predestined. But somewhere along the road he had changed, or maybe she had changed. She didn’t know which. "Are you going to go to Scorpio’s?" Laura asked after a brief silence. "Nah. I don’t know them too well. I think I’ll go visit the hospital since I’m off the island anyway. Bobbie said I should stop by for lunch some day, and I think her shift is over in about fifteen minutes. By the way," Nikolas hesitated momentarily. "What?" "Well, I was just wondering if you and Leslie Lu would maybe come over for Christmas dinner." Any doubts he had, Laura soon put to rest. "Of course I will. Nikolas, you don’t how long I’ve wanted to spend a Christmas with you. Gosh, that’s only four days away, isn’t it?" "Yeah." Nikolas was beaming. "We’ll eat around one." "Good. But, are you sure it will be all right with your uncle?" Laura remembered the last time Stefan and she had spoken. It hadn’t been pleasant. Ironically enough they had been arguing about Luke. "I all ready asked him. It’s fine." "All right." "I’ll see you Friday, then." Nikolas turned and left. "Bye." Laura called after him. "Good-bye." She closed the door and went back to the bathroom. Her water was getting cold, so she ran more hot water into her bath. Then slipped back in. The warm water felt so relaxing… she closed her eyes, and then opened them quickly. If she kept them closed she’d probably fall asleep. Just as Laura was reaching for the soap, she heard the phone ring. "What’s someone have to do to take a nice quiet bath around here?" She asked, more laughing than upset. Once again, putting on her robe, she grabbed the phone in her bedroom. "Hello?" "Lasha?" She caught her breath. Only one person ever called her Lasha, her Greek name, anymore. "Stefan?" "Yes. Nikolas was thinking of stopping by and asking you to come to eat Christmas dinner here. Did he do so?" "He did." "And did you comply." "I did." Laura again, began trying to tie her robe. “Although, I wasn’t quit sure whether or not you would approve." "Why on earth would I want to keep my…"Stefan lowered his voice, and Laura could just imagine him walking to the door of his study and looking around the corner for servants. "My son from his mother. Especially on Christmas. Nikolas has dreamed of your presence every December twenty-fifth since he was three." "We ended our last conversation in a shouting match, Stefan. I wasn’t sure if you’d forgiven me." "There is no need for to forgive you. However, I did want to call and apologize before you came." "It’s all right. I was as much to blame as you." "No, Lasha. I need to learn to practice self-restraint, when it comes to your husband." "Ex-husband." Laura said softly. "I beg your pardon?" Stefan asked, not believing his ears. "Ex-husband." Laura repeated. "Luke is my soon-to-be ex-husband. Don’t tell me you didn’t know." Laura raised her eyebrows, knowing that Stefan kept close tabs on all of his enemies, Luke being one of them. "I must confess, that I knew he had left town, but I wasn’t aware that he had asked for a divorce." "Well, now you are." Laura smiled. Just then, she heard a tap at the door. "You know what, Stefan, there’s someone at my door, I have to go." "Very well. I’ll see you in four days." "Yes. Good-bye." Laura hung up and went to her door. "At least this time I didn’t have to get out of my bath." She mumbled to herself, before opening the door. "Hey, Mom." Of all the people she had seen today, this was the one that shocked her the most. "Lucky!" Was all she could say. But if she was surprised at seeing her sixteen- year-old son, what he did next blew her away. Lucky went right up to Laura and put his arms around her. "I’m sorry, Mom." He was crying! She couldn’t believe he was actually crying. "I’m so sorry, Mom." She pulled away, and looked at him. "Lucky, what’s wrong?" She reached up and brushed a piece of hair off his forehead. "I saw Dad last night." "Oh." Laura sighed. Who hadn’t seen Luke last night? "I never had any right to be mad at you, Mom. It wasn’t your fault that Dad raped you." "Lucky, what on earth did your father say to you?" Laura was reeling from the fact that she was actually talking to her son, let alone listening to an apology. "He told me everything. About how he forced you to marry him. It was never your choice. Why didn’t you tell me?" Laura’s mouth dropped open. Luke, in his own fumbling way had been trying to give her one last gift… her son. But she couldn’t accept it. "Lucky, come inside." Lucky came inside with her. "You’re father didn’t force me to marry him." she said, after they were sitting at the dining room table. "Mom, you don’t have to…" "Listen to me, Lucky." Laura realized that for the first time since her had found out about the rape, she had his attention. He would listen to her. "I’m going to tell you a story." Lucky got a bored look on his face. "You never did like fairy tales, Lucky." Laura laughed. "You said that you preferred true stories. Well, this one is true. It’s a story about a girl who was married to a boy she didn’t love." Lucky got in comfortable position. "The boy had saved the girls life, so she felt that she owed him a great deal. But, she wasn’t happy with him. Now this girl met a man." Laura smiled, remembering Luke when he was young. "The man owned a nightclub, and the girl applied to be a waitress. She was lonely because the boy she was married to was in college. The girl didn’t see any harm in flirting with the man. She knew that he found her attractive." Laura paused, a far away look in her eye. "She was very young…" Lucky knew who the story was about by now, but decided to hear her out. "One night, she and the boy she was married to had a fight. She worked late that night. And, yes. The man did rape the girl that night. But, it wasn’t rape the way Elizabeth was raped," said Laura, referring to Lucky’s friend, who had been raped by a stranger in a park on Valentines Day. "After many years, the girl married the man. And she loved him with all of heart. She was able to forget what had happened that night," Laura sighed. "And that’s the end." "You, Scotty, and Dad?" Lucky asked, all ready knowing the answer. "Yes." "Why did Dad tell me that he forced you to marry him?" Lucky asked. "I don’t know. Maybe because he knew that he wasn’t coming back, so it didn’t matter what you thought of him. He wanted you and I to get along again. The way we used to." "It can’t ever be the way it was, Mom." "I suppose I know that." Laura gave Lucky a wan smile. "But couldn’t we… I don’t know, start over again." "That, I can try." Lucky returned her smile. "Good." Laura said, tears of happiness coming to her eyes. "Is it all right if I stop over here with Elizabeth on Christmas." Laura bit her lip. She hadn’t counted on Lucky wanting to spend Christmas with her. "We’ll only be able to stay a few minutes. We’ve got to be at a party by noon." Lucky sounded apologetic. "It’s all right, Lucky." Laura almost laughed with relief. "I’m sure I’ll find something to do. What time will you be by." "I don’t know. Do you think Leslie Lu will still get you up at six?" "I’m sure she will." "Well, if you’re going to be up, we could stop by at around seven." "That would be wonderful." Laura smiled. Glancing up at the dining room clock, Lucky stood. "Look, I’ve gotta meet Elizabeth at her house in five minutes." "You better hurry, then,” said Laura, walking her son to the door. "Bye, Mom." "Good-bye, Lucky." They hugged one last time, and then he left. ~*~ Laura looked at her watch. It was only five o’clock. After Lucky had gone, she had taken all the phones off the hook, and taken her bath. Then, she had tuned into AMC and watched ‘An Affair to Remember’. Now she was restless and bored. There wasn’t anything good on TV, she afraid if she ate anymore she would break her scale by morning, and she had read every book in the house. She finally decided to go for another walk, so she got dressed. Once outside, Laura felt much better. It was cool, but not too cool, and the wind had just enough bite in it to make her feel cozy inside her warm coat. She found herself walking along the docks. All of sudden, she felt as if she had done this before… somewhere else. And then she remembered. ~~ It had been a cold day… unusual on the island. She had been trying to get away to see Stefan for a few moments. Her husband, Stavros, kept her practically locked up, and the only times she could get out of the house was when he was either gone on business or sleeping. That day he had been in a drunken stupor. Laura had just found that Luke, who she had believed dead, was in fact, alive. She had run down the docks of the island, where she knew Stefan would be. She had walked back and forth looking for him, and finally he had appeared, from the forest, just opposite the docks. "Lasha, what are you doing here?" he had asked when he spotted her. "I had to see you… before I left." She had said the last words almost in a whisper. "Before you what?" "I’m leaving, Stefan. I have to. I found out today that Luke is alive." "What? Luke’s what?" "He’s alive!" "How did you find this out?" "Helena told me." Laura had been brimming with excitement. "Why?" He had asked. "She picked up the paper this morning, and there was an article about how a another man’s body had been mistaken for Luke’s. They were both in the avalanche, but Luke survived. He was paralyzed, and he didn’t want anyone to have to take care of him, but he recovered. I suppose she told me out of sheer shock, since I was there when she read it. I’m sure she’ll regret telling me." Laura had paused for breath. "Lasha, you know that my mother doesn’t let things slip. She had a reason for telling you, I’m sure." "Listen, Stefan," Laura had said, completely disregarding his pessimistic opinion. "I left Nikolas in the nursery. Promise me you’ll take care of him while I’m gone. Whether he’s your son or Stavros’, promise me you’ll always love him like your own." He had nodded slightly. "I’ve just got to see Luke." Here Stefan’s face had fallen, and she had known what he was thinking. "I’ll be back." She had said putting her hand on his cheek. "Don’t worry. I love you. But I also love Luke, and I need to see for myself that he’s all right. I won’t even approach him. I just have to see him." Her eyes had pleaded for him to understand. "Does Helena know that you’re going?" "Of course not. I was planning to take one of the boats." "She’ll be on your trail by morning." Stefan had pulled her close to him. "I’ve just got to do this." She had whispered. "Promise me something." "What?" "Don’t go yet. You’ve waited three years. Wait one more week. I think I can arrange for you to go with Helena’s approval." "Do you mean it?" She had pulled back and looked into his eyes. "Of course I mean it. But Lasha, I don’t know what I’ll do without you." "I’ll hurry back." She had murmured, as Stefan drew her back into his arms. ~~ "It was fifteen years." Laura jumped as her thoughts were disturbed by a voice behind her. "You were gone fifteen years. You never came back." "Stefan?" She whirled around. But no one was there. Her guilty conscious was playing tricks on her. Laura sat down on one of the benches that lined the docks. "You never came back" the words haunted her as if they had really been spoken. She sat there silently, gazing at Wyndemere, across the water, for about fifteen minutes. "I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t come back. I know I hurt you. I can’t talk to you about these things, Stefan…" She vaguely thought how insane someone would think she was if they walked by, but she didn’t care. "You don’t understand me anymore. You never let me explain. I went back to Port Charles after you convinced your brother and mother to let me go. I guess I never thanked you for that. Thank you. I wasn’t planning to stay, honestly I wasn’t." She felt a desperate need to speak what only she had known for so long. "I didn’t plan to betray you. I was planning to do exactly what I said I would… see Luke and leave. I had my disguise on. I was in the garden at City Hall, he spotted me, and he knew… he just knew. When I saw the recognition in his eyes, I should have run… and I did. Right into his arms. I don’t know what possessed me. After that, I still could have gone back, I suppose, but you were right about Helena. What she wanted was complete control of Nikolas. She even threatened to kill my mother, Luke, and anyone else I cared about if I ever tried to go back. I was a coward. I’m so sorry." Silent tears ran down her face, as she mouthed the words, "I love you." "Lasha?" This time she was sure someone was really there and turned to see Stefan. Laura gasped. "Stefan! What are you doing here?" She realized what a ridiculous question that was. Wasn’t his home just across the water. He was probably waiting for the launch. She was relieved she hadn’t spoken her last words aloud. "I went to a business meeting at General Hospital." "How much did you hear?" she asked, embarrassed. "Enough." Laura couldn’t see him in the dark, but from his voice she could tell he was choking back tears. Laura stood "I need to pick up Leslie Lu…" She felt him grasp her arm. "Lasha, I…" "Please, Stefan." She said, not because she wanted him to let go of her. She wouldn’t have cared if he never let go, but it was too soon. Luke hadn’t been gone long enough. "I understand." And from his tone, she could see that he really did understand… he wasn’t just saying it. "Thank you." she murmured, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. With his index finger, he gently wiped away her tears, then turned and without looking back, walked to his waiting launch.