Chapter 102 -- Past Wrongs Jason's Penthouse Nikolas stares at the closed door, still trying to figure out just what he feels about what just happened. For about two years he's been trying to get some tangible reaction out of Lucky. And then he had. Then night he confronted him about Jason. Why hadn't that been enough? What the hell was he trying to do to him? And why couldn't he just let go of the fact that he could effect him? It was too malicious for his taste. Even if part of him felt like Lucky deserved it… like his emotional fragility was wearing out it's welcome… he wasn't prepared for the guilt that came with the knowledge that he'd pushed Lucky too far. At the same time, it had to mean something, right? He had a reaction. He puts a hand to his forehead. He should be above these kinds of mind games. He was older, he was supposedly more stable… And yet here he was, getting sucked into Lucky's mindset, into that competition. Who was stronger, who was more detached, who would take care of who… This was not a good time to get into this. Lucky had been right. They couldn't afford this kind of stuff. And he'd willfully allowed the terms of their agreement to be strained to their breaking point. Nikolas hears a noise to the side and looks over to see Jason staring at him without expression, arms crossed. Jason: He left. Nik: Uh… Yeah. Jason: You knew he was going to. Nik: (shrugging) I didn't know what he'd do. Jason: Well. Now you do. Nik: (quietly) Yes, I do. Jason: So what now? Nik: I don't know. He's not going to do that again. Jason: Probably not. Nik: I… I don't think they'll help. He knows what it is I don't want Helena to know. He knows I talked to Hannah about… (He looks at Jason) This is what I meant. It was a relationship. I told her things. Things I don't want passed on. Not by you or by her. Jason: Understood. Nik: I… I should go. Lucky's not going to get far. Jason: I don't know. He seemed pretty angry. Nik: He's also got a concussion. I should go get him. (Jason nods) Jason: If you think he'd go with you. Nik: Doesn't matter. At some point, you don't get a choice anymore. * * * * Hannah's Apartment Hannah stares at Luke, feeling like he's sucking every bit of warmth in her into the ice of his stare. She pulls away from him, leaning just inches away from him, against the wall. She feels trapped. Like she's been cornered by some wild animal. He's the same man she's been working with for months, she tells herself. But there is something different about him. She can tell, even with out flipping on the lights. She takes a deep breath. Hannah: You talked to Lucky. Luke: We had a little chat. (Hannah nods as she tries to bring some moisture into her throat. The kid could have warned her!) Hannah: Look… Luke: Shh, shh, shh… No. (He puts a hand lightly over Hannah's mouth) This isn't a dialogue, sweetheart. There's nothing you got to say I wanna hear right now. Just know this. My son. (Luke rolls the words around his mouth with great care) My son is my life. No one touches him. No one gets him hurt. Not without paying back tenfold. From my calculations, you already owe me. Big. Hannah: (pleadingly) Luke. Luke: You hear even a WHISPER of something coming my son's direction, I wanna hear about it immediately. And if I don't… Hannah: I… Luke: Nope. Not interested. Anything you got to say, you've already told me son, right? I'm pretty sure he squeezed you pretty hard for info, am I right? (Hannah nods, eyes wide. Luke smiles broadly) Kid's smart. He sees what needs to be done. But I'll tell you one thing. (He leans closer, pressing her up against the wall) You've gotten off easy so far. My son's a pussycat compared to me. Hannah: (shakily) I don't doubt that. Luke: Don't. For a minute. Because ANYONE who touches one hair on his head has to deal with me. And if you do anything to hurt him, (Luke raises one hand, placing it gently on her throat) I will… Break… You're… Neck. (He smiles at her winningly, tightening his grip. Hannah swallows hard) Understand? (Hannah nods, mutely) All right. Now for that debt you owe… you know, the one about my son getting blind-sided by that car the other night… Was that the work of your illustrious employer? (Hannah shakes her head, mouthing the words "not here") What's that? (Hannah carefully mouths the words "It's bugged". Luke jerks his head back) BUGGED, huh? (He drops his hands and Hannah sags against the wall) Hannah: Luke… Luke: (moving to the center of the room) What's that? Helena! Are you listening, baby? Come on! Is this how we're playing this game now? Not that you haven't sent me an adversary who is easy on the eyes (He looks back at Hannah, unapologetically taking her in. Hannah feels her face flush. What kind of sick game is this?) But she doesn't have your spark. Not the same fight and fire. You sent a child to do a she-devil's job. Come on, Darlin'? What kind of game it this? You're robbing me of my fun! (He spins around and faces Hannah again) Where's she staying? Hannah: I don't know. Luke: Come on. You can do better than that! Hannah: I DON'T KNOW! She doesn't tell me things like that! And she didn't tell me about the car, either. I was just as surprised as everyone else. Luke: (coldly) Really. You didn't have a clue? Hannah: She… She… She doesn't want anything to do with Lucky. That's not what she's after. Luke: Huh. Now you're saying something I might want to hear. What is it she's after this time? Hannah: (very quietly) Nikolas. Luke: Well, she's welcome to him! Get the brat out of my hair. (Hannah stares at Luke incredulously) Hannah: He's your wife's son! Luke: You've done your homework. (Hannah opens her mouth, then closes it again, realizing Lucky didn't give full-disclosure). Hannah: Lucky's told me some stuff. Luke: I just bet he has. When was this? Before or after he figured out about your genetic connection to Miss Quartermaine? See… Now that's where I gotta question this idea that you're not planning to go after my kid. 'Cause you're already in his life up to your eyeballs. Hannah: That's just… Just… Luke: Come on, Darlin', get the sentence out. Hannah: (angrily) That has nothing to do with Lucky! That's about me. My niece, my family. Luke: Lucky doesn't think of Emily like that. You hurt her, and you hurt him. You hurt him… Hannah: I get it. You break my neck. Luke: Bingo. Hannah: (sliding down the wall) Fine. (She puts her head in her hands) Look. Helena knows I'm not… She knows about all of this. She knows about Lucky finding out, everything. She doesn't care. All she cares about is Nikolas. Luke: You better not be with playing me. Hannah: (hoarsely) I wouldn't dare. Luke: I just want to make sure we understand each other. (He lifts his head, increasing his volume) And that goes for you too, Baby cakes. Lucky suffers, Nikolas suffers. (Hannah stares at him) An eye for an eye… your words, woman. Nikolas better watch his step. (Hannah struggles to her feet) Hannah: You can't do that! Luke: Oh, I'm giving you this one. I'm a fair man. Lucky's gonna be fine, and you weren't clear on the rules yet. Your mistress sure as hell was. But one more little "accident"… anything, doesn't matter, and I'm taking Nikolas out of the equation. Hannah: (heatedly) You do that, and Lucky will die. You touch him, and she will kill him without a second thought! Luke: (Deadly quietly) I will take care of my own. You just make sure she takes care of hers. Hannah: He's Lucky's brother! Luke: He's a Cassadine. First and foremost. Don't think for a minute that just because I allow him in my home occasionally doesn't mean that his life is safe. He lives as long as Lucky does. Hannah: I'll… I understand. Luke: Good. My work here is done. (He starts for the door) Hannah: I won't hurt him! I couldn't do that to Emily. Luke: Not even to save your own neck? Hannah: (laughing bitterly) Hey, to hear you tell it, my neck is no longer my own. (Luke chuckles) Luke: You're getting the hang of this. Hannah: 'Bout time. (She leans back against the wall as Luke crosses the remainder of the room.) Luke: (opening the door) OH! (He turns back) And by the way… You're fired. * * * * General Hospital, ICU. Lucky stands several feet back from the window looking into the room Emily had been in just a few hours earlier. She's not there. Now it's an elderly woman he's never laid eyes on in his life, with yellowing skin and sunken features. He stares intently, not really seeing her, rather meeting the eyes of his own reflection in the glass. He doesn't even recognize the person looking back at him. But he feels just like the image. Transparent. Intangible. He's not at all prepared to feel a hand gripping his shoulder from behind. He starts, and spins around. Carly: (stepping back) Whoa! Little tense? Lucky: What… (He lets his voice trail off, his eyes narrowing) What do you want? Carly: Why do you always think I want something? Lucky: Because you always do. Carly: (shrugging) Just passing through. I work here, remember? Part of my illustrious divorce settlement… I get to keep my son… they get to keep their money. (Lucky nods dully, and looks back through the window. Carly leans closer to him) They moved her. Lucky: Uh, yeah… I noticed. Carly: I know where to. Whenever there's going to be a large gathering of my former in-laws, I like to keep abreast of just which part of the hospital they're going to be in. (Lucky nods slightly) That was supposed to be funny. Lucky: Uh huh. (Lucky continues to stare through the window. Carly studies him, not liking what she sees at all.) Carly: Lucky… Did something happen? Lucky: No. Carly: Look… Don't take this the wrong way? You look like an extra from Night of the Living Dead. Lucky: Thanks. Carly: (teasingly) I mean that in the nicest way possible. One of the newly dead. You're still cute, don't worry. Lucky: I wasn't. (Lucky's voice sounds like it's coming from miles away. Carly furrows her brow. She's seen him like this, once. A long time ago.) I need to sit down. Carly: Yeah, I think you do. (She takes his arm and pulls him over to the waiting area by the window. Lucky allows himself to be led by her. At this point, he's beyond caring. He sinks into one of the chairs, drawing his jacket around him) Cold? Lucky: I just walked here from Jason's. Carly: From Jason's! Are you nuts? (Lucky fixes his eyes on a crack in the linoleum floor) Stupid question, I guess. (She smiles at him. He doesn't meet her gaze, so she sits back, perplexed. Lucky always gives her a hard time, but it's usually more active.) I heard about what happened. (He doesn't answer. She sits down across from him, sitting forward in the chair) Are you ok? (Lucky shrugs) Lucky: Fine. Carly: I was gonna come see you, but by the time I got a chance you'd already been released. And Bobbie told me you'd gone to your parents, so… I thought I'd lay low for awhile. I mean, yeah things are better with Luke and me as long as I'm nice to Bobbie, but I get the feeling he still doesn't like us being friends. (Lucky doesn't say anything, so Carly continues) I know I've never said that before, but you know… I do kinda consider you one of my friends. (She looks at him expectantly, hoping for some sort of reassurance. He continues to stare at the floor. She leans forward) So… Are you ignoring everybody, or is this special treatment? (Lucky glances up at her.) I'm serious, Lucky. I don't have many people in town that I can count on. So… You know, if you need to talk about something, or you need something, like… I don't know. A ride home? I mean, I'm off, so if you wanted… Lucky: I just… (He sighs and rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand) Yeah, ok. A ride home sounds great. Carly: (grinning) Wow. I never thought I'd see the day. Lucky: What? Carly: That you'd actually let me do you a favor. Lucky: Carly… Carly: Ok, ok. I know when to shut up. (She looks him over.) So I guess that makes it your turn. Do you want to talk about it? (Lucky looks up at her blankly) I know I'm not your first choice, believe me… Lucky: I don't need to talk to anyone. Carly: Come on. Not even Emily? (Lucky shakes his head firmly) Lucky: No. I can't go there. Carly: (confused) Isn't that… What you're doing here? Lucky: Bad idea. Carly: Uh huh. Would this be because the Quartermaines? Lucky: I couldn't care less about the Quartermaines. Carly: You know… You're making even less sense than normal. Lucky: Sorry. Carly: So what ARE you doing here, then? Public service? Lucky: (heavily) I wanted to see her… But I can't talk to her. Carly: Whoa. That heavy, huh? Lucky: Yeah. (He looks at her pointedly) I'm not getting into it with you, either. (Carly rolls her eyes) Carly: I must be onto something here… You're doing that moody / distant / incommunicative thing again. Kinda like this summer. Lucky: I was communicative enough. You got what you needed. Carly: Did you? (Lucky looks at her oddly) Lucky: I didn't want anything. Carly: Right. You just risked your relationship with Emily… not to mention seriously putting your father's nose out of joint… just to help me. Lucky: Basically. Carly: (laughing) You're a saint, Lucky Spencer. Honest to God. (Lucky glares at her) Lucky: Exactly what did I GET out of helping you? I got dumped, I got my Dad REALLY ticked at me… mostly for not getting him involved, and I got one hell of a lecture from my Aunt Bobbie. Carly: You got the censored version, believe me. Lucky: (smiling slightly) Probably. Carly: You know what though? We got through it. Intact. Lucky: Yeah, well… Spencers are survivors. That's what we do. Carly: So… Are you going to return the favor? Lucky: What are you getting at? Carly: Well, if helping me out was such a big deal, then do I get to pay you back? Lucky: Hey, I took the ride. Carly: No… I mean are you going to let me help you with whatever is going on with you? Lucky: What's going on with me, you want no part of, believe me. Carly: I just mean whatever it is that has you so spun. Lucky: What do you get out of that? Carly: Same thing you got out of helping me. I get to feel useful. Lucky: Carly… Carly: Oh, come on. Humor me. Lucky: Fine. What do you want? Carly: The name of the Mack Truck that hit you, for starters. Figuratively, of course. Lucky: Or what? Carly: Or nothing. It's just a question. Cousin to cousin. (Lucky sighs heavily. His mind is spinning. He feels sick to his stomach. Every time he closes his eyes he feels like the walls are slowly closing in on him. Whenever he's felt like this in the past, he's gone to family. Or Emily. That's not an option now. He looks over at Carly) Lucky: Nikolas Cassadine. Carly: Again? Lucky: Always. Carly: What did he do this time? Lucky: Nothing. Just messing with my head. Carly: Seriously? Now? Lucky: (bitterly) That's how he operates. Waits until I'm off my game, and then hits me when my guard is slipping. Carly: You let your guard slip? I have to see that someday. Lucky: What do you think this is? Carly: Huh. Lucky Spencer unguarded. You know, there's not that much difference. (Lucky sighs and sinks into the chair.) Lucky: I'm just sick of this. You know? Four years… (He closes his eyes, the words from the tape echoing in his head. "I don't want to care about him! He's destructive and angry, he hurts people all the time without even giving it a second thought, but…"… Lucky sits up suddenly, shaking his head, trying to knock the words out of it. Carly looks at him like he's crazed) Carly: Lucky! (Lucky leans over to her, suddenly energized. Carly sits back) Lucky: (hissing) You wanna know what his latest trick is? He's suddenly decided that I'm his brother or something. And forget the fact that I don't WANT a brother, he's going to take care of ME. You know… Like make sure I don't get into trouble. Play big brother… just out of the good of his heart. You know, it's not something he WANTS to do. It's more like… His nature won't let him leave me to twist in the wind. Big of him, huh? Carly: Wow… I'm really confused now. Lucky: He's just… getting in my face. Carly: Because he wants to take care of you? Lucky: (bitterly) I didn't have a ''big brother'' for fourteen years. I was always the oldest child. I'm the one who takes care of things. Now he's just going to move in here and take over? I don't think so. Carly: OK. Now this is making sense. Lucky: Do NOT play amateur psychiatrist with me, Carly. Carly: I don't have to! Look, I saw you in some pretty dark hours. And vice versa. I noticed a thing or two. Lucky: Let me guess… Now you're going to enlighten me. Carly: Come on, Lucky. Do you know how LONG it took me to figure out why you were so accepting of me? You didn't want anything to do with me, at first. You wouldn't even talk to me at my own wedding! Lucky: I got to know you… Carly: You got to see how lousy my marriage was. That's what made it ok. I was safe… As soon as you figured out I needed you. Isn't that what's really bugging you? He doesn't need you more than you need him? (Lucky looks at her as if she's nuts) Lucky: I don't need him! (He shakes his head) I will never need him. And you know what? (He stands up) I don't need you either. Carly: Lucky… Lucky: See ya around. (Lucky starts to walk away. Carly curses under her breath and struggles to her feet to chase him down) Carly: Lucky! (Catching up to him) Ok, ok. I'm sorry. Hands off. (Lucky shoots her an annoyed look, and continues down the hall, though not so fast that she can't easily keep up) I'm not saying anything else. Lucky: (heatedly) You know, you really are from my Aunt Bobbie's side of the family. You've inherited her knack for unwanted advice. Carly: Just calling it like I see it. Lucky: (stopping and turning to face her) Look. You and I… Yeah. We know something about each other. But you don't know anything about Nikolas and me. (Carly puts a hand on his arm and looks at him seriously) Carly: Lucky… You know how many people would do what you did for me? (Lucky shrugs, averting his eyes) Do you know how many of them would then REFUSE to ever let me do something for them? (Lucky looks back at her, as if she just hit him for no apparent reason) You're pathological about not owing people anything. Lucky: (pulling his arm away) When did you get so interested in other people's problems, anyway, Carly? Carly: Hey, I'm just trying to figure this family out! And your branch is a little more interesting than mine. As totally bizarre as it is… Nikolas and I have something in common. We both know how complicated it is to get in with this family. Lucky: Carly! God. First of all, you weren't the same as Nikolas! We gave you a hard time because all you did from the minute you got here was lie to people. Nikolas is different. Carly: Ok. (She crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow) So what's the problem with Nikolas? Lucky: You got a couple of hours? Carly: I know the story, he's a Cassadine, blah, blah, blah. I get that part. But I mean with you and him. What's the problem there? Lucky: Jesus. What ISN'T the problem?! Carly… Ok. Fine. I know what you probably think of him… Carly: (shrugging) I don't think much of him. He's irritating. (Lucky stops his prepared “Saint Nikolas” speech, a slow smile appearing on his lips) Lucky: Irritating. Carly: I work with him in pediatrics sometimes. And yes, he's irritating. He's a control freak. Lucky: (Smiling unapologetically) He really is. Carly: Don't get too smug… you got a touch of that yourself. Lucky: Oh, come on. I get people to think they WANT to do stuff, that's different. Carly: Admittedly, you have more charm. But you both want your way all the time! I mean, it's not such a stretch to believe you're related. Lucky: (darkly) It's just blood. Nothing else. Carly: Why do you hate him so much? I mean, I think I can understand not liking him but… Lucas has about a million more reasons to hate me and we're actually pretty cool. Lucky: (frustrated) WHY does everyone want to know my reasons? I mean… I have them, ok? And I know what they are. Can't you just trust they're there? Carly: What, are you worried if you say them out loud someone will tell you they don't count? (Lucky stares at her a moment. Deciding she's cutting way to close to the bone, he turns and starts down the hall, Carly having to jog slightly to keep up this time) I know all about resentment, Lucky. Lucky: It's not resentment. Carly: Ok… Lucky: No, you know what it is? He's… He just showed up here and swept everyone off his feet. Your mother included. And I got to hear ''Oh, he's such a gentleman, he's so educated, so smart…'' Whatever. Carly: And you're… Lucky: This isn't about what I am and am not. I don't want to be like him. I can open doors for people, if I'm so inclined. And I'm NOT stupid. Carly: No, definitely not. (Lucky stops again and turns back to her, pained) Lucky: BUT… from the minute he showed up, everyone always blamed me for our problems. Him included. It was like, if I could just CONTROL myself, if I was more mature, if I… (He swallows hard) I was fourteen. I went to visit my sister and this guy shows up. No one else was there. You know… I had to wonder if they would have thought he was so perfect and charming if they'd seen him that day. Carly: Wait… That's how you met him? Lucky: Worse. That's how I FOUND OUT about him. (Lucky shakes his head) He totally ambushed me. And he did it again, today. It's like he ENJOYS it. Seeing if he can mess with my head. Carly: Looks like he succeeded. (Lucky shots her a vicious look) Lucky: Look. I'm not playing this game with him anymore. He can do whatever he wants. If he wants to get personal, fine. But I'm not going there with him. Carly: Maybe he just wants… (Lucky looks up at her sharply) I'm sorry. I have to say this. Lucky: Right. You're COMPELLED, huh? Carly: I'm a Spencer. You can't pretend I have control over my emotions. Lucky: You always trot out that name when it suits you. Carly: HEY! It's a family trait and you know it. You're one of the worst offenders. (Lucky looks up at the ceiling) Lucky: Ok, Carly. Go for it. Carly: (taking a deep breath) Do you ever wonder why I married AJ? Lucky: (sarcastically) I stay up nights. Carly: You know… When I first met him, he was really sweet to me. And then… Well, then he hated my guts. But he wanted to give Michael a home, and somehow I convinced him I wasn't the Antichrist… and for awhile, there was really hope for us… Or *I* had hope for us. Because the Quartermaines were just so happy to have their little grandson that nothing else mattered. Not at first, anyway. So I got to feel what it was like to have a family. Back then, EMILY was more like family to me than you were. But not anymore. We're tied now. We went through… Some kinda hell together. Lucky: What does this have to do with Nikolas? Carly: Just… Let me say this, ok? I was willing to do anything to have family. Even turn into someone I wasn't. But I didn't really feel like I had family before we did what we did. Lucky: Yeah, Ok… (She studies his face for some kind of emotion, and comes up empty handed) Carly: (upset) That… That didn't mean anything to you, did it? Lucky: Carly! Carly: No, really. That was so important to me. And for you, it's like… A means to an end. Lucky: (quietly) What end do you think I was going for? Carly: I've wondered that a long time. Lucky: I… (He stops, then shakes his head in amazement) You're the only person in he world I can say this to right now. Carly: I am? Lucky: I needed to prove to myself that I was still a Spencer. That's what I was doing. Carly: What do you mean? (Lucky shakes his head, then gives her his most charming smiles) Lucky: Nope. That's your dime. I've had enough truth for today. Carly: I'm not done yet! Lucky: I was afraid of that. Carly: Remember… you wanted to know what this had to do with Nikolas. Lucky: I think I've had my FILL of Nikolas for today. Carly: I'm just saying… Sometimes I really tried too hard. With everyone. But not with you because you were totally impossible anyway. And by the end, I didn't have to try with you. You knew what I was. And you were kinda proud of me, in a twisted way. Lucky: You beat the Q's. You got through. Yeah, I'm proud of you. Carly: (laughing) See! If I were smart I would have tried to deal with you first. Lucky: Probably wouldn't have gotten anywhere. Carly: So you admit you're stubborn. Lucky: Ok, I'll give you that. Carly: What I'm trying to say is… If Nikolas is trying to get to know you… He's gonna hit some really big roadblocks. I've been there, I know. And that can be frustrating. So maybe he just messes with your mind to prove he can. I mean… I do that Bobbie. Lucky: That's not what this is about. He doesn't want to… He didn't… (Lucky stops) Look. That's not the point. The point is, he doesn't get to treat me like dirt for YEARS and then suddenly decide he's going to be my keeper. No way. And… (Lucky stops as he hears a distinct tremor come into his voice) Carly: What? Lucky: No, show's over. Carly: Lucky… Come on. You can tell me. Lucky: (meeting her eyes) Whatever… (He stops, struggling a moment to get his voice to stop quivering. He clears his throat) he THINKS I need from him… He lost a right to it a long time ago. As far as I'm concerned, I don't have a brother. And *if* I changed my mind about that… It wouldn't be an invitation for him to start cleaning up my life for me. He doesn't get that kind of power. Not where I'm concerned. Carly: Boy. (She exhales heavily) That's a mouthful. Lucky: You asked. Carly: I'm glad you told me. And don't worry, I'm not saying a word to anyone. And we both know… I can keep a secret. Lucky: When you have motivation. Carly: I do. Given what I just saw… I wanna stay on your good side. Lucky: Are we done here? Carly: No. First of all, I want a hug. Lucky: Carly… Carly: And I want you stop saying my name like it's some kind of HUGE imposition for you to have to deal with me. (Lucky sighs. He finally takes a step towards her) Lucky: Ok, ok. (He slides his arms around his waist and hugs her. She squeezes him tightly) Carly: You're a really good kid. One in a million. (Lucky sighs. After a moment, Carly pulls back) Ok. Let's get you home. * * * * General Hospital, Hallway outside Emily's room. Nikolas approaches the door to Emily's room slowly. He doesn't want to disturb her, and if Lucky's inside, he doesn't want him to see him. He just wants to make sure he's ok. If he made it this far, he'll probably be industrious enough to find his own way home… But still. He has a responsibility here. He reaches the door, and peers inside. He can see the end of the bed, the slight lump that indicates Emily's legs. He can't hear voices, but since he can't see half the room, it's impossible to tell if Lucky is there and unseen, or if she's actually alone. He leans forward, carefully trying to stay out of Emily's sight lines, while trying to see the far end of the bed throughout the door. It's no use. He takes a deep breath and takes a small step forward, just to quickly check… Em: Nikolas? (Nikolas freezes. Damn. He comes around the edge of the door, sheepishly). Nik: Hi. Em: What are you doing? Nik: Uh… I didn't want to bother you. I know your visitors must be restricted. Em: Not anymore. (She smiles at him weakly) Actually, I'm bored out of my mind. My family's supposed to be here in an hour, but in the meantime, I'm… Well, I'm staring off into space. Nik: You're not tired? Em: (heavily) I'm always tired. (She furrows her brow) So… What were you doing out there? Nik: Truthfully? I was trying to see if Lucky was here. Em: No, you missed him. Nik: (relieved) Oh, so he was here. Em: Well, not HERE. He visited me this afternoon, in the ICU. They moved me early, they needed the room. Nik: (visibly deflating) Oh. Em: (concerned) Nikolas? Nik: Don't worry, Emily. Em: Ok, now I'm petrified. What happened? Nik: I… Well, I lost track of him. I'm not sure where he is. Em: That's all? Nik: That's not enough? Em: You two aren't exactly enmeshed. Nik: What? Em: Sociology class… Family sculpture. Never mind. Nik: No… I think you have to explain that. Em: Oh… (She sinks into the pillows) Dumb project in grade 11. You have to make a sculpture of your family. And there were all these different lines that showed how close you were. And enmeshed is like "stay-at-home Mom" and "young child"… you know where they are every moment. (She shakes her head) I spent hours on that thing. You have no idea how complicated a family sculpture can be when you're a Quartermaine. At least the Cassadines are SMALLER. Nik: I continually find new reasons why it was a good idea to leave Port Charles High. Em: No kidding. It wasn't exactly useful information. Kind of like the egg-baby project. (She smiles to herself) Lucky REALLY hated that project. Nik: Lucky had to… What? Em: (giggling to herself) No. No, it was me. My course. You had to carry around this egg… decorated and everything… like it was a baby. It was supposed to give you an idea of what it was like to have a kid… you know, life lesson disguised as a school project. I think Lucky was worried it would set him back in negotiations. (Nikolas looks at her oddly) Nik: Negoti… (The answer dawns on him) Oh. Em: I'm sorry. That was too much information, wasn't it? (She sighs.) Blame it on the medication. Nik: I'm getting a lot of information courtesy of that. (Emily nods, then looks at him, confused) Em: (slowly) Like what? Nik: (smiling slightly) Nothing. Em: (suspiciously) Why are you looking for Lucky? Nik: I just… Wanted to make sure he was all right. Em: You guys had another fight, huh. Nik: Look, Emily… You need your rest… Em: (groaning) Oh, not you too. Nik: What? Em: Lucky's not telling me something. I can tell. So instead I get to lie here with the mother of all headaches, and worry about him. Nik: No. No, Emily. Really. Nothing's going on, not yet. Em: (lifting her head) Yet? Nik: Look. You have to believe me. I'm not going to let anything happen to him. Em: I… I believe you. Nik: Good. Em: I hope you didn't tell HIM that, though. Nik: That would be a bad idea, huh? Em: Lucky doesn't like to be “taken care of”. Trust me on that. Nik: I've noticed. Em: It's not about you. Nik: Nothing ever is. (Emily frowns at him) I… I've been thinking about that time you came to see me, after you found out about Hannah and I. Em: Yeah? Nik: Do you remember? Em: We talked about Lucky. Nik: You told me that he was having problems that had nothing to do with me. Well… I think I know what they are now. Em: (cautiously) Nikolas… Nik: He… He told me that you know. Em: Yeah, he told me the same thing. (They both study each other a moment) Nik: (in a burst) Was that what it was? I mean, is that why he's being like this? Em: Like what? Nik: I don't know… Crazy. (Emily sighs and rolls over onto her “good” side, to face him, bringing her knees up to her chest) Em: (thoughtfully) I don't know. It's been going on for so long, I don't remember what used to drive him crazy anymore. Nik: Me. I always drove him right over the edge. And then… I stopped. Em: What do you mean? Nik: I… Ok, *I* didn't stop, but he did. He just didn't care anymore. It's weird how you don't know you need something until it's gone. Em: (smiling slightly) You mean you needed to drive Lucky crazy? Nik: There was something satisfying about knowing I could do it. Pretty twisted, huh? Em: I don't know… I did something like that to him once. (Nikolas looks at her oddly) Nik: You did? Em: When I got back from Italy… He didn't even know I was even gone, ok? And I was really hurt about that. And there were a few other things… So I just decided “That's it. No more. I'm not doing this to myself anymore”. So I decided not to be friends with him anymore. Nik: I think I remember that. You guys not talking. Em: Do you remember it only lasted about a week? Nik: Yeah, I think so. Em: (distantly) I didn't think he'd care. But he really did. I guess that's what changed everything. So yeah, I kinda get what you mean. I gave him another chance because I knew he must care if I had the power to hurt him. Nik: Well… There's no point in giving him chances, he doesn't want them. Em: I don't think you're the one to be giving the chances, here. Nik: What? Em: Well… It's like if Lucky had said to me ''Ok. I give you another chance'' I would have… done something rash. Like pushed him in the lake. Nik: Because… Em: Because he HURT me. I was angry. Nik: So you're saying I hurt him. Em: (biting her lip) You know what? I've already said too much. I should have stopped at egg babies. Nik: Emily! I need a clue here. If I'm going to help him at all… I need to get this. Em: What don't you get? Nik: You told me that… You told me that he cared about me because he was always hurt when he saw me. But… I never saw that. But today… Ok. TODAY I hurt him. But I don't know why. I don't know why it's so awful for him. Em: (slowly) I think you better tell me what happened. (Nikolas sighs, looking away) Nik: Ok… Well, I… (He stops realizing that he can't get into the whole murder plot with her) Rough outline. You know about this bug in Hannah's apartment, right? (Emily nods, her stomach tightening) Em: Yeah… He told me when it was discovered. Nik: I still… I don't get that. He bugged the place, but he didn't want to HEAR the tapes? Em: (remembering the scene at the penthouse) No. He really didn't. Nik: Well… He's heard them now. About ten seconds of them, but he heard them. Em: (exhaling heavily) Whoa. Nik: He… did not take it well. Em: (worried) What did he hear? Nik: I don't even… Ok. He heard me talking to Hannah about him. That's what got him so upset. Em: What were you saying? Nik: It wasn't entirely flattering. But he didn't flip out until he heard the part about how… (Nikolas stops. He can't make himself say the words outright. He looks back at Emily) I don't know how to do this! I mean, from the minute I saw Lucky I wanted him… I didn't want to want anything from him. I wanted him gone. I mean, I didn't even give him a CHANCE to reject me. (Emily nods) So… I don't know. At some point I just didn't want that anymore. I don't think I ever expected him to HATE me that much. I mean, what did he have to hate ME for. He grew up with my mother, he had the nice stable family… Em: (choking) Stable? Nik: I know, I know. But… Em: I think I get what you mean. Nik: I changed my mind. And when he actually did things… You know, like after I was shot, when he just suddenly made a habit out of ''appearing'', then I wanted to know who he was. Because that stuff made no sense to me. Em: (edgy) So why did you do it? Nik: Do what? (He looks over at Emily and sees her dark expression) Em: Why did you hurt him like that? Nik: I… Em: Nikolas! Come on. He was trying. And you just shut him out. That really hurt him. And he never got over it. Nik: (defensively) I shut him out because he was doing the same thing to me. Emily! (He shifts in his chair, leaning over so that they are on eye-level) It was slowly driving me crazy. I mean he was around, but… He'd show up, if I had an appointment or something, he'd be there. But he'd never admit to doing it on purpose. And he'd always act like he didn't want to be there. It was infuriating! Because he was blase about everything. So yeah, I told him to get lost, as best I could at the time. Just so that I could know that he wanted to be there. To get him to fight, because at least it MEANT something, at least it meant he could feel something. But he didn't. He just left. Em: He… He felt something. And I think he decided never to take the risk again. And then of course… Well, I guess you know. Nik: He went to Switzerland. Em: He told you that part too? Nik: He told me my… I guess I can say this in front of you too. He told me my father was blackmailing Laura. That he wanted to keep Lucky in Switzerland. Em: He… He said to me once, just after it happened… He told me that was sort of a big joke, since you didn't want him around anyway. But that he hadn't known you'd take it to Stefan. (Nikolas mouth goes dry) Nik: He thought I… He thought I'd ASKED Stefan to get rid of him? Em: He wouldn't even talk about what he thought. He wouldn't talk about it at all. When he got back form Switzerland, he was totally cold and strange to me for two weeks. I thought… I didn't know what to think. I couldn't figure out what I'd done. I remember thinking he went to Switzerland and he must have just gotten over me. You know, like jet lag, or something. Then he told me what happened. And at first, it was like something that brought us so close together. Because he trusted me. But after that first day? He wouldn't talk about it. Not at all. Nik: Ever? (Emily sighs, closing her eyes a moment) Em: The next time he talked about it was on our first anniversary. He just brought it up out of nowhere. All of it. And then it was like watching a sweater unravel. He just… Everything had building up for about a year, and he'd acted like it was all fine. But it wasn't. Not even I knew that. I guess it got too big for him to keep inside anymore. (Nikolas exhales heavily) Nik: I didn't know any of this. Em: He'd have a fit if he knew I told you that. Nik: I know. Em: But… I mean, he can't do it now. He really just… He's so… Alive. I mean, that's why I love him. But he feels everything so intensely, sometimes it gets the better of him. And that's been happening a lot lately. Nik: I… I don't know what I can do. I mean… I want to break through to him, but he's not going to let me. Em: (closing her eyes) It's not easy. He has to make the decision. Nik: (frustrated) So what does that mean? I just… Wait? Em: No. (She opens her eyes) Just be around. Don't disappear. Maybe… He'll find something. Nik: Find something. Em: Oh… Like with us. We're friends because… Well, when I met him I was definitely on the downward slope. And… He wasn't really happy. His parents weren't together. (Nikolas blinks, that triggering something in the memory banks) but… (Emily stifles a yawn) I won the pity pool, you know? An 11 year old near-orphan living with the craziest family in town. Who can beat that? Nik: So… You're saying that I have to be worse off than him? (He shakes his head) I don't think that's possible. Em: No… It's possible. That's one of Lucky's things. “It can always get worse”. Nik: God… I hope not. Em: (tired) Well, try to look worse, then. Nik: You're suggesting I appeal to some kind of “Sir Galahad complex”? Em: No… I'm not suggesting anything. This is as involved as I get. Just back off if you see him getting tense. That's always a bad sign. Nik: God, you know him well. Em: (distantly) Years of in depth study. Nik: Get some sleep, Em. Em: I will… (She closes her eyes and drifts off in a matter of minutes. Nikolas leans over and gives her a chaste kiss on the cheek, then turns and leaves the room, still deep in thought).