Chapter 137 -- We Meet Again Banister's Wharf. Alexis stands at the dock, staring out at the water while she waits for the launch. The wind is blowing in off the lake, and she's feeling impatient. She looks down at her watch, unsure of why she's feeling so anxious. Luke: Counselor! (Ah ha. An answer.) Alexis: Oh, God. (She turns and sees Luke descend the stairs behind her) What's this? You've worked your way through the rest of the Cassadines and now I'm back to the top of the batting order again? Luke: Ah, come on. You know you've always been my favorite bloodsucker. (Alexis turns back to the water) Alexis: (tired) Isn't the analogy getting a little old? (Luke joins her at the edge of the dock) Luke: Who said anything about it being an analogy? (Alexis gives him a sidelong look). Alexis: What do you want? Luke: Not a thing. Not from you. Alexis: Well, if you're looking for Nikolas you have a long night ahead of you. Luke: Now, why would I be looking for the young prince? Alexis: Because if you were looking for Stefan, you wouldn't be coming to me. Luke: Ah, I'm just out of an evening stroll. Alexis: Skulk. The word is skulk. Luke: You say tomato… Alexis: (heavily) Are you finished? Luke: Not even close. (Alexis turns back to face him) Alexis: Look. I don't have time for this. Just cut to the chase, will you? Luke: You used to be so much more fun before your little brush with death, Natasha. Alexis: I used to have a reason to deal with you. Now I have a boat to catch… And, if you're planning to make another trip to Spoon Island… Luke: (smiling) I've already been there. (Alexis stares at him a moment) Alexis: I see. Find anything interesting? (She shakes her head) No, of course not. Or you wouldn't have come looking for me. Luke: She's a smart one. Alexis: You want to know something, what is it? (Luke just smiles at her) You found out about Nikolas. Luke: Oh, there's the magic word. Yes… Nikolas. The Crown Prince. (Alexis doesn't blink. Luke raises his eyebrows, realizing that Alexis wasn't referring to what he *thought* she was referring to. His grin widens.) The Heir to the Viper Pit. Alexis: You're not going to gain anything by harassing him, you know that. Luke: But it's such fun. Alexis: Does your wife feel that way? Luke: Leave my wife out of this. Alexis: That gets difficult. You are stalking her son. Luke: Not without reason. Alexis: You're too late. If you had more threats to throw his direction… or whatever this sudden interest is… You've long since missed him. (Luke pauses, realizing he could pursue two avenues here. He decides to continue along the Nikolas path). Luke: Missed him? Alexis: There's no point in keeping it a secret… and if it'll keep you off the island… Nikolas has left town, Luke. (Luke just stares at her) What? No singing? No dancing in the streets? Luke: Give me a moment to catch my breath, Darlin'. Where's he gone? Alexis: No, the directory is closed. Luke: You know I can find out. Alexis: I'm not going to make it easy for you. (she narrows her eyes at him) And I wouldn't want to spoil your fun. (She looks up, hearing the launch dock) Luke: No danger of that. Alexis: Excuse me. (She starts to move towards the launch. Luke calls after her). Luke: Counselor! Alexis: (turning back, exasperated) Do you ever call anyone by their name? Luke: You know… You're asking all the right questions, as always… I'm just wondering why you're not asking them to the right person. Alexis: Luke. Luke: Oh, I didn't mean to offend… I just hate to see a beautiful woman stumbling around in the dark… (He smiles at her again) Doesn't give you much of a chance to shine. (He turns and walks away. Alexis, vexed, watches him walk away, then shakes herself, and boards the launch.) * * * * New York Subway Station, 7th Avenue and 57th Street. Emily descends the stairs to the subway, almost blindly. All she's thinking is that it's a way out. A place to go that is off the street, away from the restaurant, away from all of it. It doesn't really strike her, until she's at the bottom of the stairs, that she doesn't think she has any money. She's being pushing however, towards the gate, in the flow of people. It's like being in the high school hallway from hell. She struggles to move to the edge of the crowd and finally escapes, collapsing against a space on the tile wall, and wrapping the strap of her purse around her wrist until she manages to reel the actual body of the purse up to her. The magnitude of what she just did hits her. Oh, God. What was that? She'd just walked out on Lucky. Walked out… left… took off… Ok. We've got that part straight. Now… What did that mean? She shakes her head hard, and opens the purse. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter, just get out of here. She unzips the change section of the purse and pulls out the contents. Oh. Now, this would be funny in any other circumstances. She DOES have money. Quarters. About five of them, from the laundry, she remembers. Of course, they're CANADIAN. She bows her head, letting her hair fall to cover her face. This is fine. She can just walk back to the hotel, it can't be that far. Though right now she doesn't feel like she can tell left from right, let alone north from south. She feels a wave of panic hit her, and wraps her arms around her waist, sliding down the wall. The people keep moving past her, no one seeming to take notice. She smiles to herself. You had to respect a city that allowed you to have tiny little mental episodes in public without interfering. She takes a deep breath and leans her head against her knees, trying to steady herself. You did the right thing, she finds herself thinking. Your timing could have been better, but you had to say that. He had to hear it. He had to know… She feels that same feeling in her stomach again. That punch, the way she felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. She could scratch his eyes out. She feels tears come back to her eyes, and squeezes them shut, trying to shut the memory out long enough to get a grip on her present situation. Lucky is this close to complete panic by the time he enters the subway. This is the only possible place she can be. She wasn't anywhere in sight when he finally got out of the restaurant. He moves to the side the moment he gets to the bottom of the stairs, looking around too see if she's anywhere around. Everything is moving so fast… he feels his heart move up into his throat. He just couldn't have taken care of this earlier, could he? No. That would make things too easy. Lucky begins to move along the wall, refusing to leave until he's thoroughly searched the place. He's not letting this slide. Not anymore, at least. He reaches the corner and spots her immediately. She crouched against the wall in an almost fetal position. He feels both sick and relieved at the sight of her, and rushes towards her. Emily, her head still down, feels someone grab her wrist and she reacts immediately, pulling away so violently she hits her head against the tile, and lets out a cry before she realizes who it is. She hits Lucky hard on the arm, and struggles back up to her feet. Em: Don't DO that! (Lucky stands up with her, oddly comforted by her reaction). Lucky: What were you doing? Em: (hitting him again) God! You don't just grab people like that, Lucky. You scared the hell out of me! Lucky: (defensive) Well what do you think you're doing to me here? (Emily leans back against the wall and exhales, letting her eyes close. Her heart is racing and she puts her hand over her stomach, swallowing hard. Lucky looks at her with concern and takes a step towards her) Emily… What's going on here? (Emily laughs, and shakes her head) Em: Oh, don't. (She looks back at him, her eyes flashing) Don't go and get all reasonable on me… you're just as crazy as I am, and you know it. (Lucky stares at Emily, realizing he is, once again, a few steps behind in this conversation. He takes a shaky breath, running his hand through his hair). Lucky: I'm not being reasonable. (Emily rolls her eyes and starts to slide down the wall again. Lucky reaches out to grab her elbow again, but Emily pulls away, stumbling slightly as she moves away from him. Lucky steps back, his hands up) Ok. Ok, I get it. Emily… (Emily looks away, crossing her arms and staring at the floor. She has no idea what to do. Now that he's here… She feels like her grip is loosening by the second. Lucky feels himself go cold at the look on her face. His voice drops as he steps back towards her.) You're scaring the hell out of me. (Emily looks back at him, seeing the desperate look on her face.) I'm scared, ok? Is that what you want? It's working. (Emily shakes her head slowly) Em: Why would I want to scare you, Lucky? (Lucky, aware at the crowd they are now arguing in the middle of, moves to the wall, and leans his shoulder against it. Emily shifts on the wall so that she's facing him, and looks at him expectantly. It takes Lucky a moment to get the words out). Lucky: (struggling) Emily… I'm sorry. The restaurant… That was stupid, I shouldn't have said it. I didn't mean it, ok? Em: Really? It sounded like the first completely honest thing you've said to me since the hospital. (Lucky looks pained) Lucky: This isn't easy stuff for me to talk about, ok? (Emily looks up at the ceiling, her mouth twisting into a bitter frown) Em: Yeah, I know. (She leans her head against the wall a moment, looking down at the ground. Lucky waits for her to talk, but she stays in silence several moments. He reaches out tentatively and brushes her hair back from her face. Emily smiles slightly, and looks up at him, shaking her head) I am so sick of trying to get you to talk about stuff, Lucky. You have no idea… (She closes her eyes) I'm just TIRED, ok? (She looks back at him) You know? (Lucky nods, his throat closing up on him. What's he supposed to say to her? He knows it's the truth and he doesn't even have a good excuse. Not one that makes any sense when he says it out loud. Just that it's easier not to say most of this stuff out loud. Emily studies his face, feeling herself getting steadily more upset. When she speaks again, her voice is thin, and a little eerie) It's like… I spend so much energy just getting you to tell me the bare bones of some story, and that's NOTHING compared to the amount of energy I have to expend just putting all the pieces together! (Lucky nods, unable to make himself look her in the eye. ) I'm sick of it, ok? I mean… God. Look at me. Lucky? (Lucky forces himself to look back at her. He immediately regrets it when he sees the look in her eyes, the desperate and hurt expression. She's shaking slightly, her eyes wide. He stops himself from just reaching out for her again. Her voice quivers as she speaks) Look at my life, Lucky. (She takes a lock of her hair between her fingers) Look at my hair… Look at this! (She drops the hair and displays the quarters she was holding tight in her hand to him. She laughs, a heightened and creepy sound) I'm in subway with a handful of Canadian change, and that's it. To my NAME… which is suddenly totally different than it was a week ago! (she looks up at him, anger slipping into her voice) I mean, do you think my life is going the way I envisioned it here? I left everything. I just walked away from everything because you wanted me to. And I spend every minute of every day trying not to think too hard about what's happening to my life… trying to think about what Monica and Alan are probably going through, or whether or not some one's going to suddenly figure out who I am and sic the cops on us, or… (Her face crumples without warning) the fact that… (she looks back at Lucky, her voice dropping back to a softer tone) I had one relative left. One person who hadn't died. Do you realize… My mom lived into her thirties, so that means, she's the… She lived the longest. The rest of them they all… They all died before they were thirty. (She looks back at him, feeling like her voice is stuck in her throat. It cracks) They ALL died, Lucky. Every one. (Lucky, deciding to stop trying to predict this conversation, reaches out and pulls her against him. He crushes her against his chest, holding her for dear life. Emily's arms hand limp at her side, not ready to hug him back. She shakes her head, and finally wrenches away from him). No. No, Lucky… You don't… No. (Lucky, getting seriously worried about Emily's state of mind now, reaches down and takes her hands in his. She doesn't react, doesn't look at him). Lucky: Emily, please… Just… Come with me. (Emily continues to stare down at the ground, her head spinning. Finally she looks up at him, tears in her eyes) Em: You know what you just did, Lucky? When you said that? You just let me know exactly how alone I am. (She pulls her hands away from his) I don't have my family, I don't have any of them, not the Quartermaines, everyone else keeps moving away or dying, and you… You're not even here anymore. And you don't want to be. (Lucky shakes his head firmly, his eyes not leaving hers) Lucky: No. That's not true. Em: It has to be. It's all falling apart, Lucky, can't you see that? Lucky: Don't say that. Em: Why not? What am I supposed to pick out that isn't a disaster? I mean, one thing after another, Lucky… When do we just admit that things are out of control? (Lucky steps back from her, feeling the air rush out of his lungs. He can't take this. Not now.) Lucky: (quietly) You're the one who's always telling me that everything's going to be ok. (Emily waves her hands around uselessly, then covers her face with them.) Em: Well, maybe I need to hear that from you once in awhile. (She looks back at him) Or even just that you want me around. Or even that you just WANT me, period. (Lucky looks at Emily, incredulous) Lucky: Emily. (He reaches out and takes her hand again, looking at her intently) I need you. Em: (pulling back) But do you want me? Do you WANT me around? Lucky: Always. Em: It's not the same thing. Lucky: I KNOW that. Emily. Em… (He stops, realizing that this isn't going to get him anywhere. He takes a steadying breath) Emily. We're not going to do this. We can't. Em: Why not? I mean… What do you want me around for anyway? It's not for company, you don't talk to me. You don't let me know what's going on, and it sure as hell can't be for sex… Lucky: Em. Em: (folding her arms) No, come on. Explain it to me. Lucky: How? How am I supposed to… Emily. God, you're the one thing that keeps me sane… Em: Sane? (Lucky ignores this. He hesitates a moment, then moves closer to her, taking her face in his hands. Emily doesn't pull away, but closes her eyes. Lucky lowers his head, pressing his forehead against hers, and speaks softly). Lucky: You… You're just… You're my rock, Emily. You always have been. You're my touchstone, you're the one place everything is safe… (He pulls back, feeling a wave of guilt. Emily opens her eyes, feeling thoroughly confused about how she is feeling now. Lucky looks at her intently) I'm sorry if I can't… Be what you need right now. I'm sorry if I haven't been. I know, this has been. God, this must be hell for you, I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. I… Em: I don't want you to be sorry, Lucky. I just want you to… God, I'm so sick of explaining this. Lucky: Just tell me what to do. There has to be a way to make this right. Em: I don't know. Lucky: Ok. But will you give me a chance? (Emily doesn't answer. Lucky reaches up and gently strokes her cheek with his hand. Emily bows her head, trying not to cry. Lucky speaks to her softly) Just come back to the hotel with me, all right? Em: (mumbling) I don't have any money. Lucky: Uh, right… Well, look. Neither do I. (Emily looks up at him) Em: What? Lucky: Long story. We'll walk ok. Just walk with me. I'll… I'll try to make this make sense. (Emily sighs, closing her eyes. She looks unbelievably tired) Em: Lucky… I can't do it. If… It'll just go back around again. (She laughs) God, we've done it all over again. We're going around in a circle. (Lucky finds himself smiling slightly at the reference. For some reason it seems less hopeless). Lucky: So we'll break the pattern. It worked last time. (Emily's eyes immediately fill with tears). Em: Do you remember how we broke that pattern, Lucky? Lucky: We talked. Em: No. We kissed. That's what was different. We stopped being friends, we started being… This. (Lucky's stomach twists at the way she says 'this'… like 'this' is a bad thing. He forces himself to just plough through it). Lucky: (quietly) We never stopped being friends. (Emily looks up at him and is immediately assaulted by the vulnerable look in his eyes. She feels herself begin to crumble. Again. She nearly starts to slide down the wall again, but pushes herself off of it, stumbling slightly) Em: I can't do this. Lucky: (softly) Just come back to the hotel with me. We'll walk to the hotel, and… I swear to you, I'll try. I will. (Emily presses her lips together, and looks at him with undisguised hurt. Lucky feels his heart break a little more. How the hell did he let this get this messed up) Look. You can decide what to do when we get there. Just give me until then. (Emily shakes her head, looking away from him) Em: I don't have anywhere else to go. * * * * The Spencer House, Kitchen. Lulu sits at the table while Laura rinses off the dishes. Laura looks over her shoulder, examining her daughter's demeanor. She drops the dishes into the sink and turns, leaning against the sink. Laura: Lulu? Are you all right? (Lulu shakes her head) Lulu: It's too quiet. Laura: (laughing) Quiet? You don't like it quiet? (Lulu shakes her head, staring at the top of the table, her face troubled) What's the matter with quiet? Lulu: I want noise. (Laura turns and faces her) Laura: (quietly) What kind of noise? (Lulu sighs and folds her arms on the tabletop. She puts her head down on top of her arms, the way children do at "nap time" in grade school, but doesn't answer. Laura dries her hands on a dishtowel, and crosses the room, moving towards her daughter. She sits down in the chair next to her daughter and rubs her back gently.) I think I know what you mean. It's been very quiet here today, hasn't it? (Lulu nods) Well… Didn't you have fun with Nikolas this morning? Lulu: Yeah. But he's gone too. Laura: I know. I know… Lulu: (sitting up) Are you going too? Laura: Me? Lulu: Everyone keeps leaving. Laura: Oh, honey… (She reaches out and pulls Lulu towards her. Lulu immediately crawls into Laura's lap and leans against her, wrapping her arms around her) I know this has to be confusing, but… Life can be like that sometimes. Sometimes people have to go away. We went away once, remember? Lulu: (muffled) No. Laura: Well, we did. We went to Switzerland. That's where you learned all that French, remember? (Lulu shakes her head, stubbornly) Well… It was a nice place. It was pretty, and there were mountains and there was even another little girl for you to play with… But it was quiet there. And we both missed Daddy and Lucky and Nikky… Lulu: Nikolas. Laura: Well, back then you called him Nikky. We missed them… So we came home. And they're all going to come home soon too. Because they miss you. But right now, they just have to be away for a little while. Lulu: I want to go away too. Laura: What? Lulu: (looking up) Why do we have to stay here? Can't we go away too, and come back when they do? Laura: Why do you want to go away? We'll be here when they come back. Lulu: It's too QUIET. (Laura sighs sadly) Laura: I know. I know, honey. (She pulls Lulu back against her and rests her head on top of her daughter's) But it won't be forever. It can't be. (Lulu closes her eyes and leans against her mother. She moves her hand down to her pocket and checks to make sure Nikolas' phone is still there… it is. It's just quiet. She grinds her head against her mother's shoulder, and squeezes her eyes shut a little tighter. Laura holds her, and they sit like that several moments, the only sound the ticking of a clock. After a few minutes the silence is cut by the sound of the doorbell. Laura starts and Lulu sits up, looking towards the door. Her eyes light up. Lulu: Daddy! (she leaps off of Laura's lap and runs out of the kitchen). Laura: Lulu! (she starts after her daughter, and reaches the door to the living room just as Lulu reaches the front door. She pulls it open before Laura can say anything, then stops, looking up at the figure. She takes a step back, then turns and looks at Laura. Laura is staring at the figure in the doorway, however, and doesn't meet her daughter's gaze. She clears her throat.) Laura: Stefan. This is a surprise.