They just stood there looking at each other for a long time. They were so much alike that they didn't see they were perfect for each other. Amanda looked at Cameron and Cameron stared back, hitting her with that laser stare he had. Right before she had come, Cameron had decided that he was going to go out for a run. He had pealed off his shirt and had not put on a new one before he answered the door. And he stood like that before Amanda, naked from the waist up. That was not lost on her. She could feel her blood getting hotter as she looked at him, looking so fiery, standing before her. If she could have had one wish at that moment, it would have been to throw her arms around his neck and feel him against her. Body to body. Heart to heart. Soul to soul. The way they were meant to be.

And Cameron was no different. Amanda had a wool winter coat and her hair was dotted with snowflakes that were melting in her blond locks. All he wanted at that moment was to take his hand and run it through her somewhat damp hair and feel the snowflakes melt against his skin. After that, he could die a happy man.

They both wanted each other so much. So much they were both in actual physical pain. Amanda looked into Cameron's eyes, the eyes that were the color of the ocean after the storm. And Cameron gazed back into her eyes, which were a brown, so deep, so soft, so big that the universe was engulfed in them. At least it was for Cameron. They both were at a loss for words. Finally, it was Amanda who broke the silence.

"I see your surprised to see me."

Cameron didn't know what to say. His tongue felt like it was lead and his mouth was as dry as a desert. She was here. "Talk stupid, keep her here," Cameron thought to himself. "I am just so shocked..."

"I know, but there is something I need to discuss with you. I know I have no right to ask, but can I come in?"

"Of course." Cameron stepped aside and Amanda brushed past him. He could smell her perfume as she glided past him. He breathed in deeply the scent of gardenias. Was it his imagination or did Amanda hesitate just ever so slightly as she touched him while walking past him?

No, it was not Cameron's imagination. The same electricity flowed through her veins as her hand brushed his arm. But she hoped she hadn't made it too obvious. Amanda walked into the room. With her back to him, she smiled at his apartment. This was a place when she and Cameron had been together, had been one of her most favorite places in the world. And she was not used to one room apartments. Amanda had grown up in a mansion, lived in penthouses in New York and traveled the world first class. But this was a place that every time she walked into , she loved and every time she left had felt sad. This place was Cameron, that was why she loved it here so much.

Cameron watched Amanda standing in the center of his apartment. His breath was catching in his throat and it was getting harder and harder to breath. How long he had waited for this moment. She still hadn't turned around to face him.

Amanda could feel his eyes on the back of her head. She wanted to turn around, but she couldn't. All she could do is remember. The time that Cameron had come home and told her about his cases. The time she surprised Cameron with a massage and the good news about BRAVA. And as she stood there a line from a song kept running through her memories. "In this room, it used to feel like a castle, but now feels like a tomb, in this room." And that exactly was how it felt to him and her. It was once a castle but was now a tomb. "You are probably wondering why..."

"No, well I .."

"I know I left things in a... way. But I .."

Cameron looked at her. His heart was breaking not to be able to hold her, to touch her. "Amanda, its okay. I messed things up to begin with I ..."

"It all worked out for the best though, didn't it?" Amanda asked looking for reassurance. "Didn't it?"

"Yeah sure," Cameron said.

"I normally wouldn't bother you, but..."

"Amanda, please, you could never bother me."

"Its just..." God how to tell him. "It's just, I don't know how it happened. I mean, I know how it happened, but usually I am very careful about things like this. I am not looking for any support, emotional, physical or financial or other. I'm fine. Really, I just thought you should know." She turned to rush past him. God, he was such a huge presence, he had such a force about him. Knowing that he had moved on and now telling him that she was going to give birth to his child, was too much. But then even seeing him in a picture would have been too much for her. She had to get out of here. Amanda lengthened her stride and attempted to get around him. No such luck though, Cameron grabbed hold of her arm and tried to stop her.

"Let me go! I saw you today! I don't want your pity or you help!"

Amanda cried, trying to twist away from him. Cameron's grip was strong yet gentle. Whether it was from her hormones, or the emotion of seeing him again or the pain of knowing he moved on, the tears started to fall. Amanda hated herself at that moment for showing him weakness. She looked up at him with defiance in her eyes. Cameron looked back at her, really not having a clue what she was talking about, poor guy.

"Amanda, what is with you? What are you talking about?"

"Hello, are you still living in bedrock? I am pregnant! When we made love that night, we conceived a child."

Cameron looked at Amanda, absolutely stunned. He did not let go of her though. Despite his shock, he knew that if he let go of Amanda, she would bolt. He had her here again. He could not let that happen again.

"Your pregnant?"

No answer, just that defiant "I don't need anyone and if you weren't holding on to me I would be gone" glare. "Amanda, your going to have a baby?" Silence.

"Amanda I think..."

"I don't need you! I saw you today! Go! I don't care! Just go and see her. Like I said you have no responsibilities here." The last part came out in a ragged sob. How desperately Amanda wanted to be safe and loved. She had a child growing inside her that despite all the confusion, she loved dearly already. But she would love that child alone. And no one would love her like she needed to be loved.

"What are you talking about now? Go see who? What did you see today?"

"Cameron, it doesn't matter to me. Don't feel like you have to lie to protect me."

"Would you just answer my questions." "I saw you in Carlinos holding that women, holding her the way you should be holding..." She stopped, horrified at her slip. Cameron's stare was too much. She looked down at the floor.

"Holding that women? Oh no. Oh my God, Amanda, no. Listen that women is a client," Cameron started, but Amanda cut him off.

"It doesn't matter, it's none of my business what you do, or who you do it with Cam." Amanda was always a lousy liar and Cameron could see she was slinging it now.

"Amanda, I swear to you. That women is a client. Her name is Mrs. Quest. I don't even like her. When she got up, her heel caught on the rug and she pitched forward. I swear to you, there is no one." Amanda relaxed. Cameron could feel her relax. He released he, knowing that she would not bolt.

"Well, like I said, none of this is my business. I just thought you had a right to know. And like I also said, you have no obligations to me or to the baby." She started to walk toward the door. Cameron knew that now was the time.

He let her go. When she was just about to walk past him, he said, "Oh Amanda, one thing." And when she turned her head to see what he wanted, he caught her mouth with his. She never even saw it coming. Her purse dropped from her hand as she locked one hand around his neck and the other in his hair. Cameron's hands were tightly, snugly around Amanda's waist. He broke his mouth from hers and placed it on the side of her neck. His tongue no longer felt like lead as it circled her soft skin. She still had one hand running through his hair as she put her head back and arched her throat. He used this new space to explore some more with his mouth. It would have been so easy to have led her to his bed right now. But he didn't he stopped kissing her. He looked at her.

Amanda's eyes were still closed. She was afraid to open them, as if by opening them she would break the spell. Cameron studied her.

"Amanda. I made a mistake when I left you before Key West. But now we made something together that can change all that. A baby Amanda, a baby. We made it out of our love. You have to believe that."

Amanda opened her eyes. She looked at him and then rested her head against his shoulder. She thought she had known before. But she had been as wrong as he had.

With her head still rested against his shoulder, she said the words that lit up his soul. "It would have to be different this time."

"It will, I swear to you..."

"NO IT WON"T!!! IT WILL BE THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!! NOTHING WILL EVER WORK FOR ME. HOW CAN YOU STAND THERE AND TELL ME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME? HOW CAN YOU STAND THERE AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME WHEN YOU LEFT ME?"

Amanda was hysterical at this point. Cameron took a step back at this point. He was intimidated by her. She was letting it all out now. Everything. All the rage, all the loneliness, all the frustration. It had been building up for so long. She continued her wrath as Cameron just watched not knowing what to do. "HOW DO YOU STAND THERE AND TELL ME WHAT THE CHILD WAS CREATED OUT OF WAS LOVE? YOU LEFT! YOU THINK ONE NIGHT IS GOING TO CHANGE ALL OF THAT?! YOU LEFT! YOU..."

Amanda stopped and wiped furiously at her eyes. She looked at him and tried to wipe the tears from her face. Cameron was still just looking at her and completely lost on what to do. He had never seen anything like this coming from Amanda.

She was gasping for breath. She opened her mouth and closed it. She opened it again and sound came out, but not nearly as strong and raging as before.

"No, no. It's all right. It's all right. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. I can do it by myself. All right. I will be all right." Cameron just stood there and looked as he had been doing for the last 5 minutes or so. He didn't know what to say.

 She continued on, and Cameron listened to her. While she was talking it was as if you could read her soul. Everything in her soul was the exact opposite of what he was hearing. "Cameron, I just came over here to tell you about the baby because you have a right to know. I have to go know. I'll call you before I go to New York and let you know what the doctor says. I have an appointment tomorrow."

She walked around him and this time Cameron didn't stop her. He had hurt her so bad. She opened the door and that was when Cameron finally found his voice.

"Your right Amanda. I left. I made a huge mistake that I am suffering and paying for. But I wanted to fix things and make it up to you. And you were the one who ran away from that. Not me, you. You were the one who left us. And if you walk out that door, it will be you who is responsible for destroying us." Cameron watched Amanda, she didn't move. But then she turned around slowly, slowly. Cameron's heart leaped with hope when....no, wait, there was something wrong.

As Cameron was talking, something was wrong. A pain started in Amanda's stomach. It was just a little twinge at first, but now she was finding it hard to breath, the pain was so intense. She turned around and looked at Cameron. He looked back at her face which was twisted in a contorted pain. Her hand went to her belly and the other reached out for him. She opened her mouth to scream, but only a whispered "Cameron,"came out. Amanda took a step forward and fell. Cameron caught her as she fell. He looked her in the eyes and knew something was horribly wrong.

Cameron looked down at Amanda. Her eyes were getting glazed over and she was clutching at her stomach moaning in pain. There was also a puddle of blood forming around them."Cameron, take me to the hospital."

Knowing that he had no time to call an ambulance, Cameron picked up Amanda, who was still leaking blood and ran towards the door. He got her in the car and was speeding toward Bay City General in no time at all. Amanda was on the seat next to him and the blood was beginning to puddle at her feet.

"Amanda! Amanda?" Cameron saw the blood and saw that Amanda was going to lose consciousness. He had to keep going, but he thought that Amanda should try to stay awake. "Come on Princess! Stay with me."

But Amanda couldn't hear him. She had lost consciousness. But before she had, she whispered something that Cameron didn't catch. "Save the baby." Bay City General

Dr. Morgan Winthrop sighed with relief as he placed his last medical chart in the filing cabinet. He had been on-call for 17 hours straight. And he was exhausted. It was time to go home and sleep until he was 80. Now, just leave and forget about....

"I need a doctor!!"

Morgan looked over and saw Cameron come in with Amanda. Cameron had blood all over his shirt and it looked like it had come from Amanda. Morgan had only meet Cameron a few times, but he had liked him, and he had known Amanda for quite sometime. They weren't particularly close, but she was always pleasant enough to talk to. Morgan rushed over to them.

"What's going on?"

"She just collapsed in my apartment and started to bleed! Is she going to be all right?" Cameron asked as Morgan directed him into a room with a table on it. Nurses were all around him suddenly and Morgan didn't answer him he was too busy snapping out orders.

"I need a heart monitor on her now. Start a IV drip with saline. Also get a blood up here, O- and start it now. What brought this on, do you know Cameron?'

"I don't know. She was upset. She's pregnant."

Morgan jerked his head up. This changes everything. "Get a OBGYN up here STAT!" Morgan shouted out as he checked Amanda's pupils. "How far along is she?"

Cameron did the math quickly in his head. When was the night? "About 2-3 weeks." He was going to say more, but a buzzing from one of the machines they had hooked Amanda up to cut him off.

"Doctor, her blood pressure is dropping."

"Is she going to be all right?"

"Cameron, you have to leave!"

"Is she going to be all right?" Cameron asked as the buzz continued to sound.

"You have to leave. Someone get him out of here!" Morgan yelled as he frantically worked over Amanda.

A nurse pulled at him, trying to get him to leave. It was hard to move Cameron.

He didn't want to leave. "Promise me that you'll take care of her! Promise me!"

"Sir, you have to leave," the nurse that was pulling him out said to him. Cameron found himself outside, watching through a glass window as Morgan and another doctor with a bunch of nurses worked over Amanda. He had to call Rachel.

Cameron rushed to the nurses desk. He punched in the number and drummed his fingers along the desk as he waited for someone to pick up.

"Matt Cory."

"Matt, it's Cameron. Amanda's in the hospital, you have to get down here now."

"Whoa, slow down. What happened to Amanda?"

"Look just get down here, okay? I'll fill you in when you get here."

"Cameron, wait...."

But Cameron didn't wait. He hung up and rushed back. They were wheeling Amanda out, rushing her down the corridor. Morgan came out and Cameron grabbed him.

"What's going on? Where are they taking her?" Cameron demanded.

"Cameron, Amanda is in very serious condition. What happened to her is called filopianantitis. What happens is the fetus does not plant its self in the wall of the uterus, but in the filopenan tube. It builds up an obstruction which grows until it ruptures the tube causing not only a miscarriage, but also because it occurs so early in the pregnancy, the fetal remains are usually broken down and act as a toxin in the body causing internal bleeding."

"Amanda miscarried?"

Morgan looked at Cameron and felt a wave of sympathy. This was Cameron's baby. He should have maybe prepared him for this. But there was no time. He had to go to assist the surgery.

"Cameron, I have to so and assist. She has Dr. Flanders working on her, and he is the best there is."

"Do people die from this?"

Morgan didn't know what to say. He had to tell the truth. "Cameron, this is very serious. Sometimes, if it is caught right away, the damage can be repaired. You got her here so fast, that I am hoping this is the case."

"And if it's not?" Cameron looked at Morgan with fear in his eyes, but not showing any on his facial expression.

"Let's just pray for the best. I have to go and scrub in." Morgan left and Cameron turned around and saw Rachel and Matt rush in.

"We were in the car when you called." Matt explained.

"Where is Amanda?" Rachel asked and grabbed a hold of Cameron's shirt. "What happened?"

"She, she," Cameron wet his mouth as he continued. The tongue that had felt light as a feather when it was kissing Amanda minutes ago was now back to being lead.

"She has filopianantitis. The baby implants its self in the tube and builds up until, it explodes and causes internal bleeding."

"Where is she now?" Matt asked.

"Surgery."

"Cameron, there's something else your not saying," Rachel noted the look on his face.

"When the obstruction becomes so big, it ruptures, a miscarriage takes place."

Rachel closed her eyes. Oh God. Amanda had lost the baby. Cameron had just lost his child as well. She knew her daughter was afraid to tell Cameron and was uncertain about the future, but there was no doubt in her mind that Amanda loved her child already. And by the looks of Cameron, so did he. She put her hand on his cheek and all he could do was nod unsure of his voice at the moment.

"I'm gonna go make a few phone calls," Matt said. He went to walk away and stopped. "Cameron, I'm sorry." He went to the phone and began his calls.

Rachel took her hand off Cameron's cheek. She took his hand and led him over to sit down. She was so worried about her daughter and she knew he was too. She also knew that from what Amanda had told her about Cameron, he would try to deal with it himself. And Rachel didn't want him to feel like he was alone.

"You must hate me and blame me for this whole thing," Cameron said.

"No, I don't." Rachel replied.

He stood up suddenly and started to pace. "She's in there. And I am out here. Helpless. What can I do?"

"Sit and pray." Rachel held out her hand again and Cameron took it. He sat down with Rachel. And together they waited for news. Matt came back soon. And not long after Lila came, followed by Paulina and Joe. Felica and Cass showed up shortly after. And last but not least, Gary and Josie rushed in. Gary didn't say anything, but went right over and sat down on the other side of him. He leaned back and put his hand on his little brother's shoulder. Cameron knew he was there and Gary knew that he knew.

The waiting was driving Cameron crazy. He went to the nurses station every five minutes. Never any news, just the same old, "the doctor will talk to you when he gets out." Yeah well that wasn't helping Cameron any. If that doctor didn't come soon.

At that moment, the doors swung open and Morgan and the other doctor, whom Cameron could just assume was Flanders came out. Everyone rushed up. Cameron beat them to them. He could tell. It wasn't good.

Morgan looked Cameron right in the eye. He knew Cameron wanted answers and he also knew that Cameron would see through his sugar coated version.

"It's bad isn't it?" Cameron asked already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, it's bad," said Morgan.

"How bad?" whispered Cameron.

"Very bad." was Morgan's reply.

continue