Bay City General

Amanda cried out and sobbed and Cameron was there. He didn't say a word for a long time. And neither did Amanda. Together, they mourned their loss. It was obvious that Amanda was in agony over the loss of her baby, but so was Cameron. He just didn't show it. His primary concern right now was over Amanda. How she was, how she was feeling. Nothing else mattered to him. Not how he was taking the loss. Nothing but her. She was becoming hysterical and that concerned him. She only woke up a short while ago. Being this upset was not good, could not be good at all for someone in her condition.

"Amanda, Amanda. You have to try to calm down. You have to," Cameron said in a soothing voice. He rubbed her back and held her tight against him. Amanda had her face buried in his neck and shoulder. Cameron could feel her sobs racking through his soul.

She sat back and looked at him. Her eyes, were red and her cheeks swollen and puffy from all her crying. Cameron's heart broke to see her like this. It took her a few tries to get out what she wanted to say.

"I never wanted this. I swear to you. I was scared at first, I'll admit that, because I wasn't sure what your reaction was going to be. But I loved her. I did. And now she's gone." Her voice cracked and she started to sob again. Her voice pulsed as the sobs came out with her words. "I tried to keep her safe. I tried to keep her protected inside of me and I failed. I let her down and now she'll never have a chance to grow up, to know that we loved her. She'll never know..." Amanda couldn't go on. She smothered her head again against Cameron and sobbed.

"Amanda, you didn't fail. You didn't fail," Cameron took her face in his hands and forced her to look him in the eyes. "You did nothing wrong. Sometimes, I don't know why, but sometimes these things happen. You did nothing wrong Princess."

"How can you say that to me? I lost our baby. Our child is dead because of me."

"No, she's not. I don't know why it happened Amanda. I don't, but I do know that you did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong. Look at me. Amanda, look at me." Amanda raised her face and locked her brown eyes to Cameron's green ones. Those beautiful eyes told Cameron more than any words could ever say. "You did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong."

"I'm so tired. I'm so so tired."

"I know you are. Look, lay down and close your eyes. Just close them for a little while."

"Will you lay here with me? I mean you don't have to, your probably tired, but I.."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you again. Amanda I swear to you I will never leave you again. We'll get through this together."

Amanda's eyes brimmed over again with tears. He had said those words to her before and she had turned her back on him. But this time it was different. She believed them.

"I love you Cameron." She kissed him lightly on the lips and laid down. He stretched down next to her, careful not disturb her IV or to lay too heavily against her.

"I love you too, Princess, I will always love you." He lightly put his arm around her and she snuffled a little bit, still crying somewhat. Cameron made soothing sounds in her ear, hoping to see her calm down and fall asleep. Amanda was so tired, so tired. And she was in pain, not the physical pain, but a pain in her heart. Despite whatever words of comfort Cameron offered, Amanda found no solace in them. Her baby was gone. It had been inside her, but a short time ago and now her body felt empty and barren. Her baby was gone.

Cameron knew that she was still thinking about how it was all supposedly her fault. He could feel her still tense laying there beside him. And that worried him. He knew that for her emotional state, it was not good to have these feelings of how it was all her fault. But Amanda had also been very, very sick. She had been not only holding on to his hand, but on to the hand of death for awhile. He needed to calm her down, to relax her.

"Amanda, sweetheart, you have to relax. You need your rest."

"Where is my mom?"

"She'll be here soon. Rachel flew over to Switzerland to get Ali and bring her here to see you."

"Ali's coming?"

"Yes, your mom is bringing her here."

"My baby is coming?"

"Yes..."

"But now she'll know I lost her sister. She'll hate me for it. She'll hate me just like you do..."

"Amanda, I don't hate you..."

"Yes you do!" She began to toss and turn, crying hysterically. Cameron became alarmed by her state. It was worse than before. He got up off the bed and went to the door. He opened it and looked down the hall. Luckily, Morgan was just getting off the elevator. "Morgan!! We need you for a minute in here!!"

Morgan hurried his stride and walked in the room. In the meantime, Cameron had returned to Amanda's side, trying to calm her. She was inconsolable, crying out her pain. Morgan took a look at her and walked to the cabinet. He took a swab, alcohol and a syringe out. Cameron held Amanda's arm down while Morgan swabbed it with the alcohol and then injected her with the sedative.

Amanda felt the jab of the needle and knew that they had given her sleeping aid. She got tired almost immediately and Morgan and Cameron were getting hazy. Cameron said something to her as she felt his hand on her face, stroking her cheek. She couldn't understand what he was saying. And she hoped he got what she was saying.

"Please don't leave me alone. Please don't go..."

Morgan looked down at Amanda and then checked her vitals. They were as stable as anyone's vitals could be in this situation. He covered her up and Cameron sat down in the chair he had been sitting in for a long time. Morgan looked over at Cameron. He felt sorry for the guy.

"Cameron, what I just gave her will knock her out for about, oh I should say, about 4 hours or so. She needs her rest. I'll check back on her in a little while." Morgan gave him a reassuring smile and turned to go.

"Wait Morgan?"

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to thank you for taking such good care of her. I know you haven't left the hospital since she's got here and I know your probably exhausted and I just wanted to thank you." Cameron stood up and extended his hand across the bed. Morgan stepped forward and took it and shook it.

"I don't know if you know this," Morgan started out. "I'm sure that Amanda told you about it, but, I.. my girlfriend, Courtney was murdered a while back. I just couldn't come to grips with this, this injustice. One night I was walking in the park with a bottle of Scotch and heading toward my car. Well to make a long story short, by the grace of God, Amanda was also walking that night and she took my car keys. She took me back to my apartment and stayed with me that night. After that, I started to heal. I owe her." Morgan turned to leave, feeling the familiar lump arise in his throat that always was there when he spoke about Courtney. But maybe he said too much. He turned back around.

"When I said, she stayed with me, nothing happened." Cameron nodded. "She just helped me that night. It was nothing more." He said that because he didn't want Cameron to get jealous or think he had other motives.

"I know nothing happened. She would never have taken advantage of you, and you would never have taken advantage of her, but thanks for telling me."

Morgan smiled again and turned to leave once more when once again Cameron stopped him.

"Morgan?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry about your girlfriend." Cameron said.

"I'm sorry about your baby." Morgan replied.

Both men stood there regarding each other in silent admiration. Both were somewhat similar. Somewhat of loners. But over these few words, a new friendship had been formed.

Amanda was running, running after the sound. The painful sound of a baby crying. She could hear the baby and knew that it was Hannah. She was in a long hall with so many doors and as Amanda ran down the hall, she tried each door. They were all locked. She could hear herself singing also. "You take the high road and I'll take the low road and I'll be in Scotland before you. For me and my true love will never meet again....." She ran up to the door on the very end and it swung open. She walked into a nursery that looked so familiar to her. There was a crib in the center with a mobile

hanging above it. Amanda could see a little hand moving in the crib. Sighing with relief she ran over to the crib and looked down. She was there, her baby. Amanda reached down to pick up her child and the baby disappeared. "No!" she screamed as she frantically searched through the blankets. There were noises behind her and Amanda turned and saw Cameron standing there. She ran over to him and threw her arms around his neck. She didn't feel his arms around her. She pulled back and suddenly Cameron's face was full of fury. He grabbed her by the arms and held her rather roughly.

"Cameron, help me find her! Help me find our baby!" Amanda frantically cried. Cameron answered her with a voice so cold it terrified Amanda.

"Our baby can't be found Amanda. She's gone, you killed her." As he said this with a voice so cold he tightened his hold on her arms. "She's dead and it's all your fault Amanda! It's all your fault!"

"NO! I tried to save her! I tried Cameron..."

"No you didn't you lost her just like you lost your child before. You killed her just as you did before..."

"NO!" Amanda sat up so fast that she pulled her needles that were connecting her to her IV out of her arm. She trembled with cold, the kind of cold you get when you wake up out of a horrible nightmare. There was a hand on her shoulder. Amanda whirled her head around to see who was in the room with her. Her eyes met a pair of eyes that were almost mirror images of her own.

"It's all right Mom," said Ali. "It's all right." Her 15 year old daughter sat there and tried to comfort the woman who had comforted her her would life. Their roles were reversed now. Amanda looked at her daughter and tears welled up in her eyes. Her baby was here. Ali was here. Amanda reached her hand over and placed it over Ali's hand that was still on her shoulder.

Cameron watched all of this through the window that looked into Amanda's room. After the shot that Morgan gave her kicked in, Cameron sat there beside her for a long time. He heard the door open and he turned around. Rachel walked in and looked at Cameron. She smiled at the poor boy. Matt had called her on her cell phone the second that they heard Amanda was awake. But still here was Cameron, not leaving for anything, a shower, a change of clothes, or even food.

Cameron was happy to see Rachel. He knew what a special bond she and Amanda had. He was about to say something when he saw that Rachel was not alone. In walked a mini-Amanda. This was the first time that Cameron had seen Ali. He had seen her in pictures and knew that she resembled her mother, but seeing her in person, well it took Cameron's breath away to see how much she looked like Amanda. The 2 saw each other and stood there sizing each other up. Rachel saw this and had to hide her smile.

"Yes, Cameron and Ali will get along just fine," she thought.

Cameron had been introduced to Ali and they shook hands. Then Ali asked if he could leave her with her mother. Cameron obliged and went outside with Rachel. They watched as Ali smoothed back the sleeping Amanda's hair.

"They look alike, don't they?" Rachel asked as the 2 watched the scene through the window.

"You could say that," replied Cameron.

And that is how it had been for 2 and 1/2 hours. Cameron respected Ali's privacy with her mother and did not try to enter Amanda's room while Ali was in there. And believe it, that took all of his self control when he saw Amanda awake with a start.

"It's okay Mom," Ali softly said.

"Yes it is baby," Amanda replied.

"How are you feeling?"

"Worlds better, now that your here." Amanda managed a weak smile. "I know this must have scared you, when you heard I was in the hospital."

"It did. Mom, Grandma told me you lost the baby. I'm sorry." Ali said that and by the look on her face, Amanda could tell that her daughter was unsure of whether or not she should have said anything about the baby.

"Thank you sweetie." Amanda hoped Ali would feel free to keep talking about this if it needed to be said by her daughter.

"I just was thinking about what happened back when I was a kid.."

Amanda was startled. Few people knew about that. Her mom, Sam, Matt, Paulina, Cass and Felica. Not even Cameron had been told what had happened all those years ago. Amanda was so surprised that Ali remembered. She had been only 3 years old. It happened the day Ali turned 3 in fact. To Amanda, that seemed like a lifetime ago.......

Sam and Amanda had been having problems for a while. They really did want to try to work on their marriage for Ali's sake. They thought that having another child might bring them closer together. And after they found out that Amanda was pregnant it did. They both eagerly looked forward to the birth of their second child to be born that October.

It was in August of that year that Ali was having a small birthday party. Just a few family members and close friends. It was during that party that Amanda suddenly stooped to pick up one of Ali's new toys. When she stood up, she could see something on her dress and here someone screaming in the background. "Now what did I spill on myself and who on earth is screaming?" She looked up and everyone was staring at her and it was at that moment that she realized that it was blood on her dress and it was her that was screaming.

Well her family rushed her To the hospital and the doctors did everything that they could, but it wasn't enough. Amanda lost her baby. After that, things between her and Sam fell apart rather quickly. Evan came along and after that, it was all water under the bridge. "Mom?" Ali looked worried. "Did I say something wrong? I did. Let me go get Grandma."

"No, sweetie, you didn't say anything wrong. I am just surprised that you remember, that's all. You were so young."

"I just, well I just do, that's all."

Amanda took Ali's hand and placed it in hers and put them both over her heart. And as she did that, she could feel a little part in her healing. And with tears in her eyes, Amanda looked at her daughter and said, "I am so glad to see you."

Cameron and Rachel once again stood side by side in front of the window looking in. Rachel sighed and turned away. Cameron was puzzled. He would have thought Rachel would have been happy to see that Amanda was awake. He then sensed that there was something more that he wasn't being told. "Your not telling me something?"

Rachel looked up at Cameron. She knew that he loved Amanda and she knew that he had the power to help her through this and heaven knows Rachel thought, Amanda needs all the help she can get.

"Rachel, what is it?"

"Cameron, I well..." Rachel hesitated, not knowing if it was her place to tell him or not.

"Look, if it's about Amanda, I want to know. Rachel, I swear whatever you say to me, will stay between us."

Rachel knew that he meant it. She also knew that he could help, so she told him the would story about what happened before when Ali was a baby, how Amanda had lost another child. How she had miscarried and how it had almost killed her emotionally. She told Cameron about the depression that Amanda suffered from and how the depression almost killed her physically.

Cameron listened without saying a word. And as he listened, he grew angrier and angrier. Not angry at Amanda, but angry at himself for not being there to protect her from what happened so many years ago. That made no sense he knew, but he was still furious at himself. Rachel finished her story and looked at Cameron.

"I just don't know what losing this baby will do to her Cameron. I'm afraid. We almost lost her before and I don't want to go through that again."

Cameron walked over to the window of the hospital room. He looked in and watched Amanda and Ali for a moment. And then without turning around he answered all of Rachel's prayers.

"I promise Rachel, I will not let that happen. Nothing is going to happen to Amanda. Not while I'm around."

Chapter 11

Cory Estates