CHAPTER 1

Cameron's lying on his bed thinking having flashbacks of his and Amanda's relationship. He sits up and begins to wonder why he just didn't tell Amanda how he felt a long time ago. Why did he wait until Boca Lynda when they were dangling between life and death? There was a knock on the door interrupting his thoughts.

"Cameron?" it was Josie "Come on open up"

He jumped off his bed, and opened the door. "Josie, what's the matter?"

"How about the fact, I can't hide this lie anymore? I have to tell Gary. He has the right to know."

Cameron stepped aside and let Josie in. "Are you sure, because last time, we thought it was right, and I nearly told Amanda, but you changed your mind, and I'm not going to go through that again."

Josie turned her gaze away, and rubbed her stomach. "I can't believe this is a baby. A real baby. It's part of me, and you. We made this, and yet," but she couldn't continue

"You aren't happy, because it's not Gary's." he said softly

"Right" she watched Cameron's face fall "Please Cameron, I know this is hard for you as well. I know you don't want me to be pregnant anymore then I want to pregnant with your child." she paused "I can't believe this is happening. It wasn't suppose to be like this. I want to be happy,and excited like Gary is. I want to be carrying his baby."

Cameron's face tightened, and his anger started to come out. "But Josie you know what? We can't change a thing. Not a damn thing. We can't change the fact we slept together, or the fact we've created a baby. We have to deal with things right now. Stop worrying about what if, or what could have been. We have to deal with the fact your pregnant, I'm the father, not Gary, and what the hell we are going to do about it!"

Josie eyes grew wide. She hadn't bothered to even begin to stop the what if's, or wishing. So far it was the only thing getting her by.

"Ok fine" she began quietly "What are we going to do? Gary has to know, he must, or, or I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't live in this lie"

"Ok, fine. We'll tell Gary, and Amanda. I just hope" but he couldn't finish. The deafing scream Josie let out, stopped him in mid sentence.

"Josie? Josie! What's the matter?" Cameron asked running over to her side.

"Cameron, the baby. It's the baby." And she doubled over in pain

(Awhile later at the hospital)

Josie's laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines.

"Gary" she called out "You have to call Gary" she begged Cameron

"Just as soon as we know what's the matter" he said, and the doctor marched into the room.

"Mrs. Sinclair?" he began

"Yes" Josie said weakly

"Mrs. Sinclair, I'm afraid I have some bad news."

"Bad news?" Cameron repeated worridly

"I'm afraid, your baby didn't make it. You've suffered another miscarriage." The room was quiet except for the occasional beep from a machine.

"How? I don't understand." Josie began crying

"Well, the baby was under distress. Probably due to lack of proper nutrition, and proper care. Your baby would have never made it."

Josie couldn't believe her ears. She covered her head, and cried out "I killed my baby! I killed my own baby!"

The doctor butted in "Well, the truth is Mrs. Sinclair, all the proper care in the world wouldn't have been able to allow a baby to survive. You'll never be able to carry a baby to term."

"Never?" She repeated slowly

"I'm sorry" the doctor said shaking his head no "We are going to keep you overnight for observation, but you should be ok, but I'm afraid you and your husband will never be able to have a baby." And the doctor left the room.

The room was silent. "You know, I didn't want this baby, when I was carrying it, but now that it's gone, I want it back." Josie began and tears started free falling from her face. She clenteched on to Cameron, as she continued to cry. Tears began falling from his face as well. "I know Josie." was all he could manage

After a little while, Cameron pushed Josie back. "I'm going to call Gary, ok?" Josie nodded and Cameron walked out and went to a pay phone to call Gary.

(A few days later. Amanda and Cameron are at Carlino's eating lunch.)

"Cameron? Earth to Cameron!" Amanda said giggiling

"What?" He said refocusing on Amanda "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Where did you go?" she asked. Cameron's face stonewalled as he remembered what was bothering him. Josie had just lost their baby. His heart ached. Even if he didn't want the baby, he couldn't help but miss it. "I guess I was just thinking about things, ya know."

"Not about another women, I hope" Amanda said smiling

"Of course not!" Cameron said finally smiling "Your the only woman I want, or need!" and leaned in for a quick kiss. "Look sorry to cut out so soon, but I have to go."

"So soon?" Amanda asked disappointingly

"Yeah, I have an appointment. But I would like to continue this a little later." he said hoping to cheer her up "Maybe somewhere a little more private. I love you" and he kissed Amanda on her forehead, and skipped out the door.

"He's not telling me something" Amanda said getting up and grabbing her purse. She followed Cameron, out the door, hoping he wouldn't notice her. "And I'm going to find out what it is"

(Josie's back at work, and Cameorn goes to see her)

"Cameron" Josie said looking up from her desk "What are you doing here?"

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" He asked

She led them to the hallway. "Ok, make it quick" she commanded

"I just needed to see how you were. To make sure things are going ok for you. Ya know."

"Look Cameron, our problem is gone, so you don't need to worry about me. You no longer need to make sure I'm ok, or we don't have to meet, to cover another lie. It's over, the baby's gone Cameron."

"I know, but I can't help but feel sorta of sad. I feel like something from myself is gone." A tear fell from his face

Josie's face softened "I know." she said softly "I feel that way too. But now we aren't living in a lie anymore. No one ever has to know the baby I was carrying was yours."

Amanda stood overhearing Josie and Cameron's conversation. She stepped out and confronted the two.

"What do you mean, the baby you were carrying was Cameron's?" Amanda began, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Amanda!" Josie and Cameron shouted suprised.

CHAPTER 2

Cameron's face fell, "Amanda, what are you doing here?"

"I knew something wasn't right." And she started toward Josie and Cameron. "These last few days, you've been a complete wreck. You've looked like hell, and treated me like I was nothing more then something you had to deal with. A problem, a piece of trash. And I had no idea why. But now it's all making sense. It's all coming together."

"Please, you don't understand" Cameron started and reached for Amanda's arm

"NO!" She screamed "Don't even come near me. Don't even touch me" she wimpered "Josie lost her, oops I mean YOUR baby a few days ago, and that is why you've been a total mess. Isn't that right?"

Josie spoke for the first time "I'll let you 2, work this out" and she started to step away

"Wait a second Saint Sinclair. Does your loving husbnd know who the real daddy is, or am I the last person on the planet to figure it out?"

Josie looked down "No, Gary doesn't know."

"Well, don't plan on buying him a gift for your 2nd anniversry, because once I tell him the truth, he isn't gonna want anything to do with either one of you ever again."

Josie's head shot up "Wait a second, please Amanda, let me tell him. He needs to hear it from me."

"Oh I see, the way Cameron filled me in?"

"Please Amanda." Josie pleaded

Amanda didn't bother to give Josie an answer, she refocused her attention to Cameron. "Cameron I guess all that garabage you fed me about loving me, and being honest with me was all a lie. When are they all going to end? I'm so sick of the lies, Cameron. And you know what? You and Josie can sleep together again, and make another little Sinclair, for all I care. Just don't expect me to believe your lies again." And Amanda turned and stormed away.

"Amanda please!" Cameron called out after her "Please wait" and he jogged to catch up with her. "Don't, please don't do this."

"Do what?" She asked

"You have to try and understand. We felt it was best to, to"

"To lie" she finished for him "You thought it was better to lie to me and Gary, about Gary, or should I say Cameron Jr."

"No" Cameron shook his head

"NO?" Amanda started laughing "You and Josie lied and now your trying to justify it all. I forgave you for sleeping with her. I thought it would end. I figured Boca Lynda was in the past. But you know what, I was wrong. Sorry, Cameron find someone else to feed your lies to."

And with that she stormed out of the police station, leaving an ashamed, and totally devasted Cameron to stand crying in the hallway.

(About 3 hours later. Cameron has a huge black and blue eye, as Gary learned about Josie and Cameron, and let Cameron know how he felt. Cameron's sitting at a bar.)

"Give me another one" He ordered the bartender

"Sir, I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'll call you a cab" the bar tender told a drunken Cameron

"Cut me off! Why? I'm just getting started. Besides if you won't give me another, I'll just go to another bar. Your loss."

"Sir, you've had several glasses of beer, and several shots. I think you've had enough for tonight. Now, I'll call you a cab, and you'll have to sleep it off."

"Forget it. I'm getting out of here." And he got off the bar stool, and staggered out of the bar. He got into his car, and turned it on. The song "I'll Be" came on, and Cameron begins to fantize about Amanda. But he soon snapped out of it and spoke to himself. "That blond bitch ain't worth it anyway." And he backed up, and drove out of the parking lot.

(Cameron's having a hard time, keeping the car on his side of the street, and cars are having to drive on the sidewalk, just to avoid hitting him.)

"Get it together" Cameron orders himself. He begins driving down the road, toward the park where he and Amanda met. "Why am I coming here?" he wondered

(Meanwhile Amanda is at the park, walking around crying. She's trying to pull it together.)

"Stop it Amanda" she orders herself, as tears pour down his face "Just forget about him." And she steps out into the street just as a drunken Cameron, turns the corner onto that very same street. He doesn't notice Amanda, until he hears an awful scream, and a loud crunch.

He slams on the breaks, but not until he feels himself going over a bump. He jumps out of his car, and runs to see what he hit. He looks under the car, and sees a blonde bloody body. He pulls the body out from under the car, and screams "Amanda!"

CHAPTER 3

Cameron grabbed Amanda and started screaming. "Oh My God! What have I done?" he paused "Come on, wake up" and he started slapping her cheeck. He ran back to his car and called 911.

(At the hospital, a while later)

The doctors rushed in and out of Amanda's room. Cameron called Rachel, but she wasn't home. He slumpped down in his chair. "What have I done?" he questioned himself. He couldn't believe what was going on. A doctor approached Cameron "Sir? Are you family of Miss Cory?"

"Yes." he jumped up "Is she gonna be ok?"

"Well, we've mangaed to stablize her." the doctor began

Cameron breathed a sigh of relief, but the doctor continued "However, She had a ruptured splen, a few broken ribs, and a punctured liver. We also ran a cat scan of her brain. We noticed she had some swelling, but we've mangaed to keep that under control for the time being. She's still in critcal condition. She going to be in a lot of pain, for a long time." the doctor's face was serious, and Cameron frowned. "Can I see her?"

"Not until the morning. What don't sleep it off?" and the doctor walked away. Cameron, realized he ment, the fact he was drunk. "I wonder how he could tell?" Cameron wondered. But then he remembered how he could always tell his dad was drunk. He looked terrible, and his breath reaked of alcohol. His eyes were bloodshot, and his words ran together. Cameron realized, the doctor must have noticed those same signs on him. So he plopped down on some chairs, and fell into a restless, sleep.

(The next morning)

Cameron awake, and rubbed his head. He had one killer headache, from the hangover, and he felt like he'd been the one hit by a car. His head was spinning, and his stomach felt awful. "Good lord, how can people do this all the time?" he wondered. He stopped and had a brief flashback of his childhood. He remembered hiding under his bed as his dad who was drunk, beat his mom.

Rachel came running into the waiting area, snapping him out of his flashback "Amanda? Where is Amanda?" she yelled

"Mrs. Hutchins"

"Cameron, I just heard about Amanda. How is she?"

"The doctors say, she's in critical condition. Some internal injuires, and swelling around the brain."

"Oh my God. My poor baby!" Rachel explained sickened by the thought "Where is she?"

"I'm not really sure. They wouldn't let me see her until this morning, and I just woke up."

"Do they have any idea of who did this? Because once I get my hands on that drunken bastard, he'll pay."

Cameron's eyes refouced, and he turned his gaze away. "I, I think it" but he was interrupted by a passing by doctor.

"Mrs. Hutchins!" he exclaimed "I bet your looking for Amanda."

"Doctor, where's my daughter!" Rachel asked running up to him, and pleading with him.

"Follow me, she's over here in ICU 6." and he led her around the corner.

Cameron watched as Rachel walked around the corner, and sat down in his chair "How am I going to tell everyone, that I did this?" he wondered "How am I going to say I nearly killed Amanda, a women I claim to love?"

(A few hours later)

Cameron wanted to see Amanda, and so Rachel left for a break. He walked over to Amanda's bed and picked up her hand, and sat down. He started crying. "How did things get so screwed up?" he began "I can't believe that I nearly killed you. I almost ran you over, because I was drunk. I swore to God, that I wouldn't touch alcohol, because I knew what it did to me and my family" he paused to chuckle "Funny how we all swear to be nothing like our parents, and end up to be just like them." he looked around the room, and then back at Amanda. He brushed away a piece of hair that had fallen in her face. "You know that even after everything, I still love you. Boy, you'd swear I hated you after everything I've put you through. But your the best thing to have happened to me. I guess I should just shut up, after all, what difference does it make? What's done is done. All the I'm sorrys in the world couldn't come close to earsing the pain. I just hope you make it out of this ok, and are able to live your life, and be happy." He bent over and kissed her forehead.

He sat down and watched her. He began flashing back to some happier times. Rachel came back into the room. "Cameron, Jose wants to speak to you." he got up and walked out of Amanda's room.

"Joe." he began "What can I do for you."

"Well, Cameron, you can start by telling me, what happened last night. And what exactly went on between you and Amanda?" Joe crossed his arms across his chest, and gave Cameron a blank stare Cameron's face flushed a sheet white, and Rachel looked on curiously.

CHAPTER 4

Cameron turned away "No offense Joe, but why are you asking me?"

"Well, we have not only 3 cops that claim you were at the scene of the accident, but the peramedics say they saw you there as well. So I'm thinking it's a pretty good guess to say you were there and saw something."

Cameron blinked a few times and turned around "No, Joe, I didn't really see anything."

"Nothing, huh?" Joe questioned

Cameron had a few quick flashbacks of the accident "Umm, no not really"

"No one, or nothing?" Joe knew Cameron was hiding something

"No, can't say I remember anything."

"Well I sure have a hard time believing you" Joe said walking around Cameron.

"Well, why not?" Cameron asked growing nervous

"You claim to have seen nothing, yet we have people placing you on the scene. How on earth did you know Amanda was there? What made you stop? How did you know it was Amanda?" Joe said rattling off questions

"I don't know"

"Cameron, your not telling us something. I know you were drunk last night. I know you had a huge blow up with Amanda last night. You can't hide anything anymore Cameron. You did this didn't you? You hit Amanda with your car because you were drunk." Joe sat staring at Cameron, as Rachel looked on.

"Cameron, did you?" Rachel asked

"I, I, I'm sorry." He said quietly

Joe bowed his head and Rachel gasped "YOU?"

"Mrs. Hutchins" he began

Rachel cut in "Don't Mrs. Hutchins me! You nearly kill my daughter and then you lie about it. And your sorry? No." Rachel shook her head in disgust "You were drunk, and hit my daughter, nearly killing her, and your sorry?"

Cameron couldn't speak.

"You have some nerve. I always had this feeling about you. Ever since Carl hired, you, but Amanda convinced me to let you stick around." She paused "Amanda loved you. She trusted in you. I can't imagine an argument that could have resulted in this, but my guess is you just showed your true colors."

Joe spoke up again "What happened between the 2 of you last night?"

"I don't really feel like talking about that." Cameron said quietly

"Well it's either here, or down at the station."

"Am I being arrested?" Cameron asked nervous

"Well let's see, Drunk Driving, reckless endagerment, nearly killing Amanda, you tell me."

Cameron looked down at the floor. "Can I at leat see Amanda before I go?" he asked

"You stay the hell away from my daughter!" Rachel shouted. Just then Paulina came running up. "Rachel, Joe, how's Amanda?"

"She's in critical condition" Rachel said, not tearing her eyes from Cameron. "I was just going to go check up on her. Would you like to come with?" She said now lookig at Paulina. Paulina nodded and she went over and rubbed Joe's back, and smiled at him. Rachel and Paulina disappeared into Amanda's room.

"Well, Cameron let's go." And he placed his hand firmly on Cameron's elbow, leading him out of the hosptial.

(Awhile later, at the police station. Cameron told Joe he and Amanda had broken up, but left out Josie. Joe placed Cameron in a holding cell.)

"Damn it" Cameron yelled. He sat down on the bed. He placed his head in his hands. "I can't believe this." And he looked around the cell.

"Amanda." He said quiety "I hope you are ok. I'm truly sorry. I just hope someday you can forgive me. I hope you will be happy and have a nice life." And He layed back, and started to cry.

(At the hospital)

Rachel filled Paulina in, on Cameron. They are sitting in Amanda's room. "I just don't believe it." Paulina said in disbelief

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either, but I always knew something was off about that man."

Amanda's eyes started to flutter.

"Rachel, look!" Paulina shouted, Rachel turned her head quickly.

Amanda's eyes opened, and Paulina and Rachel look on smiling.

CHAPTER 5

(A few days later)

Amanda remembers the accident and that Cameron was the one behind the wheel. Rachel, Paulina, and Matt stick by Amanda's beside as she recovers.

"Amanda, what's wrong?" Rachel asks, when she notices Amanda's long face.

Amanda struggles to say "Cameron"

"Honey don't worry about him. Work on getting better ok?"

Amanda just nodded, but couldn't help but see the accident in her mind over and over. Paulina comes in with some Carlino's lunch for Rachel "Room service" she jokes

"Great, I'm starving!" Rachel says happily and digs into the bag.

"How ya doing Amanda?" She asks patting Amanda's hand, Paulina notices that Amanda is unusally white, and that she feels pretty warm.

Amanda forces a smile, trying to let everyone know she's ok.

The doctor comes rushing into the room.

"Doctor, what is it?" Rachel asks nervous

"Miss Cory's white blood cells are extremly high. She may be developing an infection, or worse."

"My God" Paulina says

"Where? What do you mean?" Rachel asks

"Well we aren't sure right now, but we want to run some tests. We hope to find out soon though."

And with that the doctor hurries back out of the room.

Rachel and Paulina hug, and then Rachel walks over to Amanda's bed. "Are you in any pain?"

Amanda nods, and says "A little"

"Honey why didn't you say something?" Rachel asks, but before she can answer, some nurses come in to take Amanda for tests. "It should only take a hour or so." one nurse said, and with that the were off.

Cameron is sitting at Carlino's sipping coffee. He's silently beating himself up, and wondering how Amanda is. Gary walks in, and at first walks right past Cameron, but then stops and turns around. He pulls out a chair, and sits down.

"You don't have to say anything." Cameron said

"Listen, don't think I'm just going to let you get away with sleeping with my wife. I don't think I'm ever going to get over it. But if I forgave you for killing dad, I'll try and get over this."

Cameron shakes his head "No. I'm a screw up that doesn't deserve your forgiveness. All I've done my whole life is mess up my life."

"Cameron would you quit feeling sorry for yourself? Everyone makes mistakes. Yours may be worse then others, but no one is perfect. For crying out loud look at me! I'm no model citizen. I wasn't even a person till" he stopped and look of sadness washed over Gary's face.

Cameron butted in "Josie"

"The point is, you screwed up, just like everyone else does every day."

Cameron hung his head "I know but what I did to you" his voice changed it grew softer "to Amanda is unforgiveable"

Gary started in "To a certain extent your right, but you still need a chance to be forgiven."

"Do you really mean it?" Cameron asked hopeful "Do you forgive me?"

Gary looked around the room "Let's put it this way. I hate what you've done to me, to my marriage. I hate what you've done to Amanda. And I'm in pain. My heart hurts, Cameron. I can't just sweep my feelings under the rug. Forgivness needs time. Only time can heal the wounds Cameron. So no, I can't forgive you or Josie right now."

Cameron stood up "Well I hope you will be able to some day."

Gary stood up as well "Me too. Me too, little bro" And he walked out of Carlinos.

Amanda was brought back to her room.

Rachel and Paulina ran over to Amanda, and look up at the doctor "Doctor what's wrong with her?"

"We checked and re checked the results the tests, but somehow we must have missed something."

"Missed something?" Paulina chocked out

"Well, we seem to be unable to pin point the problem, but all the tests aren't back."

"Well, if you can't pinpoint the problem, I'm just going to have my daughter taken elsewhere." Rachel began, growing upset "So I suggest you figure out what's wrong before you have a lawsuit taped to your sorry behind, and a bad name plastered on the front of every newspaper from here to Hong Kong" And with that she scooted the doctor out the door.

She walked over to Amanda's beside and looked at her daughter. Her face was white, and her lips had lost their color. Her face was clamy and burning up. "In this short of time, just look at her." Rachel said sadly "She doesn't even look the same. She doesn't look like my Amanda."

Rachel rested her head on Amanda's. All of a sudden Amanda shrieked out in pain. Rachel shot up, and told Paulina to get a nurse "Amanda honey tell me what's wrong? Why are you in so much pain?"

A nurse ran in, and started a quick exam "BP is way down, and her lungs and respiration rate are weak."

The same doctor came in "Bad news. Her white cells are still on the rise."

"What's happening?" Rachel asked

"We fear your daughter has some sort of infection, or may be rejecting the blood we gave her durning a transfusion." he said

"You already told us that, I want some answers!" Rachel shouted

"I'm afraid, we weren't expecting this to happen. We thought she was getting better. We want to perpare you, this may only get worse. Time isn't on our side, and so far we've wasted too much time" The doctor said

Rachel began to cry "Well then why are you standing here? Please do something! Please. You can't let her die!"

Amanda shouted in pain again. The doctor looked worried, and had the nurse inject some higher doses of pain meds "We may need to do exploritory surgery to figure out what's wrong."

"Surgery?" Paulina gasped

"Well, it may be are only option. I'm waiting for a call on some last mintue test reults, and then I'll know for sure."

The doctor was paged, and explained it was the lab, and ran off to take the call.

"I just hope she's going to be ok" Paulina said

"She will be" Rachel said "She's a fighter" but Paulina could tell even Rachel wasn't very confident anymore.

The doctor came back in the room, his eyebrows were creased and a frown sat across his face.

Rachel and Paulina stood up, with a look of hope and worry on their face.

"It's worse then we orginally thought" He said "I'm afraid it's not good at all."

The look of hope vanished from their faces, and Paulina and Rachel looked toward Amanda, now more worried then ever.

By Sumer CONTINUE