Disclaimer: Procter and Gamble owns Another World and all Bay City's inhabitants. I'm only borrowing a few of them, and promise to put them back as soon as I'm done playing with them.

Acknowledgements: Mike and Sandy, of course, because without their stellar performances, I wouldn't be driven to write my stories. Cherie and Sharon have become my beta readers extra ordinaire, and I thank them for all their help. This story is a simple indulgence on my part. The way I would like to see it play out, not the way it will. But I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless.

Standing alone on the hill where he had first met Amanda and later proposed to her, Cameron Sinclair stared out into the cold, unforgiving night. Even the stars and small crescent moon were hiding from his gaze. He wasn't surprised. All the light had gone from his soul when Amanda refused to marry him. Not that he deserved anything different. Walking the tightrope between truth and deceit, Cameron had expected to fall, but he had hoped for some small miracle to happen, and that the net of Amanda's love would somehow support him. But it hadn't. Falling from the pinnacle of bliss to the cold, hard reality of truth had broken both his heart and Amanda's.

He heard a sound behind him, and stiffened, his entire body becoming rigid and unyielding just as his eyes became cold and hard like ice on a frozen pond. Without a doubt he knew who was behind him. Without turning, he asked, "What the hell do you want from me now?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right," she answered.

"I'm not about to do something stupid," he told her. "I've already done that, haven't I?"

"Cameron," she began.

"Just go away," he commanded. "You really don't want to be here right now."

But she persisted as he feared she might. "Look at me, Cameron. I'm worried about you."

Turning to face her, he said coldly, "The hell you are, Josie. All you care about is whether or not I'm going to tell Gary about the baby and ruin your perfect little world."

Even in the darkness that surrounded him, Cameron could see the color rising in Josie's cheeks telling him that he was right. "That's not true, Cameron. I care what happens to you. You're family."

Laughing without humor, Cameron retorted, "I used to buy into that crap, Josie, but not anymore. All you care about is yourself. You don't even care about Gary."

Josie moved closer to him, placing one hand on his arm. Her color deepened when he jerked his arm away. "I love Gary," she said urgently. "I don't want to lose him."

"If you loved him, you would tell him the truth," Cameron told her. "A relationship based on lies can't work."

"So you're going to tell him."

Cameron turned away from her. "No. But don't think you can keep the truth from him forever. Lies have a way of coming out."

Placing her hand on his shoulder, she said, "Cameron, I need you . . ."

He again pulled away from her clutching hand, turning to face her again. "Let's get one thing straight, Josie. From this moment on, all you get from me is child support. I'll be the best long-distance father that I can be, but any communication between us will be through our lawyers. Got it?"

"Why are you acting like this, Cameron?" she asked. "Why are you blaming me for what happened at the church? I'm not the one who left you standing at the altar. I'm not the one who humiliated you in front of your family and friends. Why are you blaming me for what Amanda did to you?"

Cameron's eyes flared into icy, green fire, causing Josie to step back. "Amanda is not to blame for anything, Josie. You and I destroyed Amanda's happiness. Accept the blame; deal with it."

"You were trying to protect her," Josie said.

Staring at her in disbelief, Cameron said, "I was trying to protect you. Amanda asked me if I was the father of your baby, and I lied. But not to protect Amanda. It was to protect you, and your precious life with Gary."

Josie shook her head. "That's not true, Cameron. You were afraid of losing Amanda. She told you at the Lumina Ball that she would never go through what Sophia was going through. You were just trying to keep her from being hurt."

"And every time I tried to tell her the truth, you stopped me, using that same argument. But it's no more true now than it was then." Cameron turned to look out into the unforgiving night yet again. "I should have walked away after Boca Lynda," he said softly. "I should have found the strength to leave her then. I knew I'd only hurt her. I always hurt anyone who loves me. Just ask Gary."

Making another attempt to reach out to him, Josie touched him again. Even though he shrugged off her hand, she said, "I meant what I said, Cameron. I don't regret making love to you on the beach in Boca Lynda. I'm glad I'm having your baby."

Rage surged through Cameron's body then and he had to force himself to keep his hands from Josie's throat. He spun around, gripped her upper arms tightly, and put his face inches from hers. "We did not make love in Boca Lynda," he raged quietly, teeth tightly clenched. "We had sex, nothing more, and so much less. And I will regret that night for as long as I live." He paused for a moment, glaring steadily into her eyes. "I have made love to one woman in my life. Amanda Cory. And she is the only woman I will ever make love with, because her love made me whole for the only time in my life."

"You're hurting me," Josie said softly, voice wavering with fear.

Shoving her away from him, Cameron said, "Get the hell away from me, Josie. Just go. And stay as far away from me as possible."

"Amanda will understand eventually," Josie said, voice sounding as if she were choking on the words.

"She knows why I lied, Josie," Cameron said. "But she can't forgive me. I can't forgive myself. This time I will find the strength to do what's best for Amanda."

"What are you going to do, Cameron?"

"Leave town." Feeling her eyes boring into his back, he said, "There's nothing to keep me here. Don't worry, Josie, I'll find a lawyer to set up a visitation schedule and child support. You'll be fine. It's only Amanda and Gary who are the big losers."

"And you, Cameron," she said, sadness filling her voice.

Cameron shrugged his shoulders. "I got exactly what I deserved, Josie." A sense of wonder overpowered the darkness in his heart for a moment as he remembered his time with Amanda. "I had an angel in my life for awhile. A beautiful, perfect angel who somehow found the best in me. I tried to be the man she wanted me to be, the man she needed me to be. But I couldn't. But in trying I became more than I ever thought I could be."

"Cameron," she began again.

But Cameron was lost in his thoughts and memories. Image after image of Amanda flashed through his mind, culminating in their last conversation. Tears filled his eyes, but he refused to cry. "I will always love you, Amanda Cory," he vowed to the night sky. "From now until the end of time. You'll always be in my heart and in my soul. Always."

"Running away again, Sinclair?"

Cameron stiffened for a moment, and then turned to face his accuser. From the corner of his eye, he saw Josie slip away into the night, leaving him to face his fate alone. "Yeah. I am." He smiled down at her, tears sparkling for a moment as the faint light caught his eyes. "It's better this way, Amanda."

"For whom? You? Gary?" Her voice took on a sense of utter loathing. "Oh, let me guess. It's what Josie wants, isn't it?"

Shaking his head, Cameron replied, "Josie would prefer I stay so I can take the heat from Gary when he finds out about the baby."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"For you, Amanda," Cameron said, one hand touching her cheek softly, and dropping back to his side when she pulled her head away. "I'd do anything for you."

"Except stay."

"Except stay," he conceded. "It's better for you, Amanda. Let's face reality here. From the moment we met, I've done nothing but hurt you."

"You saved my life, Cameron."

"And broke your heart."

"You made me believe in love again."

"And broke your heart." When she opened her mouth to speak again, he placed his fingers against her lips, silencing her for a moment. "The bottom line, Amanda, is that no matter how hard I try to make you happy, I end up breaking your heart. I can't do it anymore."

"Cameron . . ."

"Shhhh," he murmured, lowering his head to brush his lips to hers in one last kiss. When he raised his head, he said, "Be happy, Princess."

Unable to watch her walk away through his tears, Cameron turned to face the unforgiving night once again. Suddenly, the agony of his loss overwhelmed him, and Cameron sank to his knees, crying for what might have been had he been a better man. He felt a soft touch on his hair, and then the side of his face, but he turned away. Two hands, beautiful, delicate hands, cupped his face, forcing him to look into her eyes. "Please," he pleaded, unsure of what he was begging for.

"Shhhh," she said, touching her lips to his.

When their lips finally parted, Cameron asked, "Amanda?"

One finger touched his lips, lightly tracing the outline and sending a wave of desire through his body. She smiled a little sadly. "I don't know how we're going to get past this, Cameron," she said. "But somehow we will."

"We will?"

"We have to," she told him. "Because the one thing I do know is that I can never be happy without you in my life."

The sliver of the crescent moon slipped from the cloud cover. The darkness of Cameron's soul shimmered with faint illumination. With time the light would grow brighter, and maybe, just maybe, his heart would once again glow with the light of Amanda's love.